Hi! I guess I am here just to unload because I don't feel like there is somebody I could talk to about what I am going through. I am a wife to a second year med student. We have a 3 and a half year-old kid and an eight-month old baby. I have been here in the US for a few years and am still working on my driver's license. I'm a stay-at-home mom, literally staying at home with kids six and a half days a week! Husband's family is just 30 minutes away but everybody pretty much live separate lives. In-laws are nice and do help but we don't want to ask for help as much as we could because they are aging. My whole family is in the other side of the globe. Both my parents' relatives are scattered in East and West Coast. I have few friends, nobody outside of the church. I feel so alone and tired. I feel trapped. Husband understandably studies a lot, a whole lot more since the semester started last week. I feel like a widow most of the time; trying to do everything by myself like taking care of both babies, house works, homeschooling.
I have been trying to understand my husband. This is like the ONLY option for him now. He's 40 and haven't "kept it all together" until now. But I resent being "abandoned" after taking the giant leap. Sometimes when he's stressed out, he'd tell me that I don't understand him. Maybe, he's right. I feel the same way too. Maybe, I am wrong. If he's doing say, a nine to five job he'd still be wouldn't be there for me. Maybe, I don't grasp how hard it is to study. I am aware that he has some health issues that slows him down and can't study very efficiently. I don't want all of his time. I understand fully well that he needs to study but is it wrong for me to ask for a little more time aside from a few minutes of talking about his kids of some other stuff that is not about me.
He doesn't really have a good place to study. He is the type of person who almost needs total silence to concentrate. He can't do it in school because chair is not comfortable or laptop isn't big enough, space is too tight or there is a kid who just won't shut up. He locks himself in his room (yes, we aren't sleeping together at night because nobody would get sleep and be happy if we do) when he's at home but he gets distracted too with his kids' noise or something random and/or stupid. Sometimes I would just like to go back to where I came from but couldn't for many reasons. I am trying to get my mom here and the application was already submitted so I have to establish domicile here. I couldn't visit because I would like to fetch my mom soon as I can and it would cost an arm and leg to purchase airline tickets for 4 people. Even if I could stay in my country for until my mom's petition is approved, that might be hard on my kids. So here I am, trying to suck it up. I'm on my wits end. Anybody on the same boat and want to have a pity party with this weepy wife?
I have been trying to understand my husband. This is like the ONLY option for him now. He's 40 and haven't "kept it all together" until now. But I resent being "abandoned" after taking the giant leap. Sometimes when he's stressed out, he'd tell me that I don't understand him. Maybe, he's right. I feel the same way too. Maybe, I am wrong. If he's doing say, a nine to five job he'd still be wouldn't be there for me. Maybe, I don't grasp how hard it is to study. I am aware that he has some health issues that slows him down and can't study very efficiently. I don't want all of his time. I understand fully well that he needs to study but is it wrong for me to ask for a little more time aside from a few minutes of talking about his kids of some other stuff that is not about me.
He doesn't really have a good place to study. He is the type of person who almost needs total silence to concentrate. He can't do it in school because chair is not comfortable or laptop isn't big enough, space is too tight or there is a kid who just won't shut up. He locks himself in his room (yes, we aren't sleeping together at night because nobody would get sleep and be happy if we do) when he's at home but he gets distracted too with his kids' noise or something random and/or stupid. Sometimes I would just like to go back to where I came from but couldn't for many reasons. I am trying to get my mom here and the application was already submitted so I have to establish domicile here. I couldn't visit because I would like to fetch my mom soon as I can and it would cost an arm and leg to purchase airline tickets for 4 people. Even if I could stay in my country for until my mom's petition is approved, that might be hard on my kids. So here I am, trying to suck it up. I'm on my wits end. Anybody on the same boat and want to have a pity party with this weepy wife?
