med student with non med student girlfriend?
Started by yoyoyoyoyolee
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I have a non-med girlfriend. Your examples are strange - women aren't just dogs or puppies that sit at home and wait for you.
I'd be happy that they're living their life the way they want.
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Jealous. That is how I would feel.
I guess the question sounded sexist, but I am also asking for both sides. What if your boyfriend just sleeps a lot while you(girl) are busy everyday? (This question is not directed to you obviously!)
It wouldn't really phase me. Luckily, I am married and my wife has offered to cook, clean, and run any errands during medical school for me. She stated the other day "I know how hard upper level science courses are and I'm fine with just being a trophy wife." Boys and girls, I lucked out.
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My husband works full time and studies for his CFA exam on top of that. So LUCKILY, we're both pretty busy. However, there are times where time together does get sacrificed for med school. It's about balance.
If she literally does nothing, you'd have to have that conversation with her. But, as was said before, you KNEW that you'd be bombarded with school all the time. You can't get upset with her for doing what you wish you could do.
If she literally does nothing, you'd have to have that conversation with her. But, as was said before, you KNEW that you'd be bombarded with school all the time. You can't get upset with her for doing what you wish you could do.
If the problem is that you're struggling with unmatched levels of ambition/goals, that's fine to be concerned about. But if you're just unhappy that they get to relax... that's kind of petty.
I want one of those
This is pretty vague on details. Are they sleeping an inordinate amount of time or just more than some med students? Are they working or going to school full time? Are they a stay at home parent of your kids?
If they have a healthy, happy, and productive lifestyle I'd be happy for them (and jealous they get to do less than I have to) but, if they don't then I'd have to worry why they aren't.
If they have a healthy, happy, and productive lifestyle I'd be happy for them (and jealous they get to do less than I have to) but, if they don't then I'd have to worry why they aren't.
The average pre-med on this site has this melodramatic picture of his/her future med-student self as some kind of martyr. You will have a ridiculous amount of free time in the pre-clinical years. Your professional responsibilities will be far less substantial than if you had a real job.
Point is, wait until you get there—if your girlfriend has any kind of full-time job, she will probably be the one who is "extremely busy everyday" and, while you will indeed be putting in a lot of work learning your pathways and stuff, you'll be the one who has time at home to do laundry, go to the grocery store, pick up the dry cleaning, etc. It will not stay that way in the clinical phase, but with any luck you will have worked something out by then.
Point is, wait until you get there—if your girlfriend has any kind of full-time job, she will probably be the one who is "extremely busy everyday" and, while you will indeed be putting in a lot of work learning your pathways and stuff, you'll be the one who has time at home to do laundry, go to the grocery store, pick up the dry cleaning, etc. It will not stay that way in the clinical phase, but with any luck you will have worked something out by then.
Sometimes, it has to be this way. In some households, one person is the "work-aholic" (and I mean that in a good way...studying, working 50+ hour weeks), and one person is keeping the home going and organized (and that's a lot of work, too).
By the way, it's "faze," not phase. 😀
It would faze your wife if your med school phase lasted 25 years. 😛
What if I’m a girl and I have a girlfriend? Does this question still pertain to me? 🙄
Edit: Was pulling OP's leg. Because speaking of sexism, I just wanted to make sure same-sex relationships were also included in the dialogue.
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No, obviously not, don't be silly. Strange, exaggerated relationship inequalities clearly can't happen if both parties are female...then everyone's equal!
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Yes, it applies to anyone in a relationship where it bothers one person that he/she is working/busy during most of the day while his/her partner has more free time to sleep-in or take naps.
The OP needs to decide for himself what works for him. If he saying that his partner is lazy, and therefore spending too much time sleeping or lounging around, then he needs to find someone better suited for his expectations. If his partner works/schools for a good amount of time, but has more time than he does to sleep/nap and it bothers him, then he needs to adjust his attitude, change his career goals, or find someone else.
Thank you for the correction. You are absolutely correct. As of right now, I do most of the cooking and cleaning around our house and it is no joke! People think stay-at-home mom jobs are easy, but I almost flip my lid when the house goes from spotless to "It was just clean five minutes ago."
The way the OP is stated, it's making it sound like the SO is unemployed and not in school. No job, no school, no taking care of the house/kids... that would be a problem. I don't do freeloaders.
However, if OP is just being overly dramatic and the SO does in fact have a life outside of the house, sounds like OP needs to grow up. My fiance is non-medical and he works 60 hours per week. I wonder if OP realizes that there are jobs outside of medicine...
However, if OP is just being overly dramatic and the SO does in fact have a life outside of the house, sounds like OP needs to grow up. My fiance is non-medical and he works 60 hours per week. I wonder if OP realizes that there are jobs outside of medicine...
Don't you know that taking a few science classes, volunteering, and working a couple of summers of research makes you an automatic expert on everything ever?
Theres so many details here that you have left out that we need.
Is she living with you on your dime and sleeping all day? If so, I'd be pissed; I also don't do freeloaders.
Is she living apart from you on some other means and doing nothing but sleeping? I'd be more concerned, because of a lack of ambition.
But if she is just sleeping till 11 everyday with a job/classes and you are getting up at 8 I think you need to chill xD
Is she living with you on your dime and sleeping all day? If so, I'd be pissed; I also don't do freeloaders.
Is she living apart from you on some other means and doing nothing but sleeping? I'd be more concerned, because of a lack of ambition.
But if she is just sleeping till 11 everyday with a job/classes and you are getting up at 8 I think you need to chill xD
My husband sleeps an inordinate amount of time. He's known to pass out just about anywhere. My sister dropped something off at our house one day and freaked out because he fell asleep in the middle of the hallway on the floor, but it looked like he had literally passed out. He also works his rear off at work, getting there one hour before everyone else and leaving about an hour after. And he works out during the week. So I give him a pass on sleeping a lot. The truth is that I'm the one that has more energy and that's why I'm the one going to medical school. He wouldn't make it, but that's not really a problem because he isn't aiming for that. Instead he is working on becoming the expert in the field he is in. Honestly, I need someone a little more chill than me. I'm not sure one house could survive with two people like me.
However, there's a difference between sleeping a lot and being lazy. I try to give my husband grace and remind myself of how hard he works outside of the house. There's a balance there somewhere and you'll have to determine what that balance is and whether your SO is leaning more toward tiredness or laziness.
However, there's a difference between sleeping a lot and being lazy. I try to give my husband grace and remind myself of how hard he works outside of the house. There's a balance there somewhere and you'll have to determine what that balance is and whether your SO is leaning more toward tiredness or laziness.
'That would freak me out, too. Why wouldn't he just walk a few more steps to a couch or bed. It sounds very strange to be walking along a home's hallway and dropping for 40 winks.
I think he was fixing the flooring and decided to take a nap. He's not overly picky 😵
There's even a story from high school where he was helping fix a friend's truck and he fell asleep in the driver's seat while pressing the clutch. Oh that I had the same talent. The best thing I found last week was a picture of him at the age of 5 sprawled out asleep on a sofa. I about died laughing. This is definitely a character trait. He stays awake perfectly fine at work.
If the SO is sleeping all day every day I would be worried about depression or a sleep disorder, not whether they were lazy.
But maybe that stems from my own experience with that... Before I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, my main indication that there was some kind of problem was not being able to stay awake even when I wanted to.
But maybe that stems from my own experience with that... Before I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, my main indication that there was some kind of problem was not being able to stay awake even when I wanted to.
My first thought, actually. Sleeping all day generally makes me think depression, hypothyroidism, or sleep apnea right off the bat.
How does this make you feel?
Med school relationships can be hard if the significant other is not in med school and doesn't understand the stresses and demands of med school. One could treat the preclinical years like a 9-5 job every day and still get by fine - especially in a pass/fail curriculum. So you can actually have a life and synchronize your schedule with your significant other's. But after you hit the clinics and beyond, your schedule will be very demanding and that takes a toll on relationships. There's a reason why many surgeons are divorced.
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You'll fit right in with psych.
