Military SOs

[Kpowell14]

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There is nothing like waking up at 5:30 am to try and talk to my babe, to find that he is not online 🙁

I hate deployments, and time differences.. I just want to be able to talk to him whenever I want, and not have to create a new ******ed sleep schedule In the process. Blah 🙄

Back to 😴 😴

 

[EngrSC]

There is nothing like waking up at 5:30 am to try and talk to my babe, to find that he is not online 🙁

I hate deployments, and time differences.. I just want to be able to talk to him whenever I want, and not have to create a new ******ed sleep schedule In the process. Blah 🙄

Back to 😴 😴

I hate that! What irritates me most is not being able to get a hold of him when I really need to tell him or ask him something. I have to wait until he contacts me first 🙁

 

[Kpowell14]

I hate that! What irritates me most is not being able to get a hold of him when I really need to tell him or ask him something. I have to wait until he contacts me first 🙁

Yes, it sucks super bad.. We can only communicate via FB chat.. So if I have something I need to tell him I just send it even if he isn't on , and he will read it when he signs in.

 

[EngrSC]

I really miss my husband 🙁 ... I hate holidays without him. They make me feel lonely.

 

[Kpowell14]

I really miss my husband 🙁 ... I hate holidays without him. They make me feel lonely.

I'm having a hard night too. 🙁 him being gone... Its the first Thanksgiving in 4 years that he has missed.... plus family drama and dysfunction is getting me really down .

 

[Kpowell14]

Just got an email from the FRG... 4 guys have been injured in the last 24 hrs.. They said everyone has been notified.. But I haven't talked to zach since last night 🙁 I'm freaking out .. I just need him to message me so that I know he is ok 🙁 ugh

 

[Emiloo4]

I hate that! What irritates me most is not being able to get a hold of him when I really need to tell him or ask him something. I have to wait until he contacts me first 🙁

Hey guys, little late joining in 😀, just spent six days with the BF 😍
I totally agree with this. One of the more annoying things. And then I would find myself forgetting what it was when I finally got the chance to tell him
I started writing it down and reading him a list 😳 I'm sure he enjoyed that and cared about each bullet point 🙄

 

[OneDay81]

Everyone I've talked to about Texas has had good things to say! I've been through the Dallas airport but that's the extent of my Texas travels. I'm not sure if it's Fort Sam or Lackland ... he just said it would be fairly easy for us to go there. I'm applying to Texas A&M San Antonio as a post-bacc student (I am leaning towards getting a second bachelors rather than just arbitrarily taking pre-reqs like I'm doing now) and I think I have a decent shot at getting in there. There's also a large humane society there that has job openings - that would be my dream. One of the vets I work with now also works part time at the humane society so maybe she could put in a good word?

Washington would be beautiful and the weather change would be nice. I'm applying to University of Washington as a post-bacc but I think it will be substantially harder to get in there. They straight up told me that it's difficult to get into a popular-ish program (biology) without a faculty member saying they want me in their program. Also, I want to get more large animal experience and I think that would be easier to find in Texas than in Washington.

And yeah, UF blows my mind with GRE. 25% verbal GRE score and 25% quantitative 😱

The 2+2 program is what I love about MSU!! I didn't know Missouri had it also so that's good to know! I hope you get in this cycle so you don't have to go through the application process a second time



I've never been to Mississippi so maybe I'm jumping the gun slightly

He's Navy and it looks like there are some bases in NC. I'm definitely going to tell him to look into it! He's going on shore duty which essentially means he doesn't need to be on a coast and will likely not be deploying for a while. NC is really lush and green, right? Is there hiking there or is it pretty flat? How much snow do you get in the winter?

We are stationed in new Orleans but live in MS. I like it a lot more than I imagined (being by the coast helps,I'm sure) but we're ready to move on next summer! MSU is really nice and Starkville is a great town.

Sent from my VS840 4G using Tapatalk 2

 

[EngrSC]

Just got an email from the FRG... 4 guys have been injured in the last 24 hrs.. They said everyone has been notified.. But I haven't talked to zach since last night 🙁 I'm freaking out .. I just need him to message me so that I know he is ok 🙁 ugh

The last 2 days with my dog bite drama kept me pre-occupied and I didn't see this post. That's super scary and I would be worried too. I'm so so so happy to hear that you heard from him and he's ok!!!!

 

[EngrSC]

My husband shattered his wrist about 2 months before he left for his current deployment. ... he's a health/nutrition/fitness freak and decided to determine his max box jump height ... you see where this is going ... he jumped up onto a 5' box jump (actually a giant tire he was using as a box jump), lost his footing at the top, and fell backwards onto his wrist.

One of his buddies took him to the ER and it was so bad they couldn't just set it in a cast and call it done. They admitted him to the hospital, put him in the wounded warrior ward 😱 where he stayed overnight and had surgery the next morning. Now he's got 2 plates, 3 screws, and 3 pins in his wrist for life.

And this happened a few days before he was supposed to go to small arms instructor school

 

[Kpowell14]

The last 2 days with my dog bite drama kept me pre-occupied and I didn't see this post. That's super scary and I would be worried too. I'm so so so happy to hear that you heard from him and he's ok!!!!

Thank goodness he is ok, and so is everyone else. That was the worst day ever.

My husband shattered his wrist about 2 months before he left for his current deployment. ... he's a health/nutrition/fitness freak and decided to determine his max box jump height ... you see where this is going ... he jumped up onto a 5' box jump (actually a giant tire he was using as a box jump), lost his footing at the top, and fell backwards onto his wrist.

One of his buddies took him to the ER and it was so bad they couldn't just set it in a cast and call it done. They admitted him to the hospital, put him in the wounded warrior ward 😱 where he stayed overnight and had surgery the next morning. Now he's got 2 plates, 3 screws, and 3 pins in his wrist for life.

And this happened a few days before he was supposed to go to small arms instructor school

Jeez that is crazy. I'm glad he is healed up now!

 

[Kpowell14]

I've had a decent day up until this point. But I get home and I just feel overwhelmed. At the moment I feel like I live in a black hole..I currently live at home with my parents and there is so much tension in my house. I just wish my babe was here to talk to and curl up with.. I feel like I can't escape except to go into my room.. But staying in my room is so lonely.. Ugh I just wish he was here 🙁

Eta.... Hopped on FB and my best friend is complaining about how being away this weekend was the longest she's ever been away from her husband..., I just wanna slap her through the screen .

 

[Emiloo4]

I've had a decent day up until this point. But I get home and I just feel overwhelmed. At the moment I feel like I live in a black hole..I currently live at home with my parents and there is so much tension in my house. I just wish my babe was here to talk to and curl up with.. I feel like I can't escape except to go into my room.. But staying in my room is so lonely.. Ugh I just wish he was here 🙁

Eta.... Hopped on FB and my best friend is complaining about how being away this weekend was the longest she's ever been away from her husband..., I just wanna slap her through the screen .

That always bothered me too 😳. When people would complain about "missing" someone, which they are clearly allowed to do, but I always wanted to put it into perspective for them lol. The sooner you can let that comparison feeling go, the less frustrated you will get .
I also used to get annoyed when I would see a couple kiss. I always wanted to walk up and say "yeah it must be reeaaaal nice to be able to kiss each other whenever you want huh?😡"
🙄 I got over that too. You have to remember that not everyone has been where you are and missing someone for a few days is still missing them lol. Trying not to compare your triumphs and it will bother you much less. I know it's tough, but since you can't change other people's perspectives, you can at least change your reaction to them for your own sake 😍

 

[EngrSC]

Eta.... Hopped on FB and my best friend is complaining about how being away this weekend was the longest she's ever been away from her husband..., I just wanna slap her through the screen .

I think every military spouse feels this way at some point in time. I have a friend who's husband travels occasionally for work and even if it's just for a couple days she literally can't stay in their apartment alone. She has to go stay with a friend. I think it's totally pathetic!

Honestly, when people hear that my husband is deployed their response is always "oh, I'm so sorry" and I tell them not to be. I made the choice to marry a man in the military and deployments are part of the job. If anything, I think the periodic alone time is good for our relationship. We have learned how to trust each other, be confident (not sure if that's the term I really want) in our relationship, and we super duper appreciate the time we DO have together. When he's gone I get to be selfish and focus on me - I get to do all things I want to do that I don't really have time for when he's around otherwise he feels neglected. As much as I miss him when he's away and look forward to his return, I feel the time to myself is beneficial to me.

 

[cvanthof]

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to introduce myself: my name is Chelsea, and I am a hopeful c/o 2017 vet school applicant. My boyfriend is a firstie at West Point, right now.

I need advice- next year is completely unknown to both my boyfriend and I. The best case scenario would be I get into NCSU and he posts in NC, but who knows what will happen 😕. It is a possibility, however, because he will be able to choose his post.

I am struggling with the idea of getting married young, but it seems like the most realistic decision, once Will is on active duty, in case, god forbid, something happened.

Has anyone else gone through this? I would love some insight into how you made veterinary school and the military life work for your relationship.

Thanks!

 

[Kpowell14]

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to introduce myself: my name is Chelsea, and I am a hopeful c/o 2017 vet school applicant. My boyfriend is a firstie at West Point, right now.

I need advice- next year is completely unknown to both my boyfriend and I. The best case scenario would be I get into NCSU and he posts in NC, but who knows what will happen 😕. It is a possibility, however, because he will be able to choose his post.

I am struggling with the idea of getting married young, but it seems like the most realistic decision, once Will is on active duty, in case, god forbid, something happened.

Has anyone else gone through this? I would love some insight into how you made veterinary school and the military life work for your relationship.

Thanks!

First let me say Hello and welcome to SDN 😀

I am a c/o 2017 hopeful as well, so I cannot say how to make the military life and vet school work. But what can say is that for the last year & 8 months of undergrad I've been in a long distance relationship with my fiancé who is in the army ( we were together 2 yrs before he joined so we've almost been together 4 yrs).. He is currently on his first deployment in Afghan..

We too have no idea what is to come in the next year.. And the biggest thing in regards to that is that we have both come to terms with this.. I have applied to 2 schools, neither of which are located where his home base is. So if I get in anywhere we are looking at another 4 years apart. Are we happy about that? No Way!! But when he joined he knew there was a high chance that we would be apart for an extended amount of time. And I told him up front that I was not going to quit school to follow him around... So that means we have to accept the hand we have been dealt and make the best of it..

I'm not sure if that long story helps much lol

Some big things that probably were lost in translation...
-be honest with each other about your expectations...
-don't think the Army will actually send him somewhere that he wants to go... Be prepared to Not be together.. That way you aren't let down when he is stationed somewhere else
- communication is sooooo important, especially in a LDR
- Trust, another big one.
-Cherish EVERY single moment you are together.

 

[cvanthof]

First let me say Hello and welcome to SDN 😀

I am a c/o 2017 hopeful as well, so I cannot say how to make the military life and vet school work. But what can say is that for the last year & 8 months of undergrad I've been in a long distance relationship with my fiancé who is in the army ( we were together 2 yrs before he joined so we've almost been together 4 yrs).. He is currently on his first deployment in Afghan..

We too have no idea what is to come in the next year.. And the biggest thing in regards to that is that we have both come to terms with this.. I have applied to 2 schools, neither of which are located where his home base is. So if I get in anywhere we are looking at another 4 years apart. Are we happy about that? No Way!! But when he joined he knew there was a high chance that we would be apart for an extended amount of time. And I told him up front that I was not going to quit school to follow him around... So that means we have to accept the hand we have been dealt and make the best of it..

I'm not sure if that long story helps much lol

Some big things that probably were lost in translation...
-be honest with each other about your expectations...
-don't think the Army will actually send him somewhere that he wants to go... Be prepared to Not be together.. That way you aren't let down when he is stationed somewhere else
- communication is sooooo important, especially in a LDR
- Trust, another big one.
-Cherish EVERY single moment you are together.

Thanks a lot, KPowell 🙂 we have also been doing the LDR thing for almost two years now, and neither of us want to give up our dreams just so we can be together. I certainly don't want 4 more years apart, but we are both ready for it. TBH, once he becomes active duty we will probably get married, just in case something happens. I am not a big fan of being married young, but in our boys' line of work, not doing so is risky.

Where did you apply, out of curiosity?

 

[Kpowell14]

Thanks a lot, KPowell 🙂 we have also been doing the LDR thing for almost two years now, and neither of us want to give up our dreams just so we can be together. I certainly don't want 4 more years apart, but we are both ready for it. TBH, once he becomes active duty we will probably get married, just in case something happens. I am not a big fan of being married young, but in our boys' line of work, not doing so is risky.

Where did you apply, out of curiosity?

We are the same way... I'm not giving up on vet school and he is thinking about making the Army a career.. I applied to UT Knox and Missouri... I reallllly wanna go to Missouri.. If I get in Zach is gonna try and PCS to Fort lennard wood, it's about 2 hours away from Columbia, but there isn't a guarantee that he will get it. But that would be ideal.. If I get denied this cycle then I'll be moving to fort drum to be with him and I'll keep trying lol

 

[Emiloo4]

A girl in my class came to UF because her husband is stationed in Pensacola, FL. She just found out they are moving him to Oklahoma now. She thought about a transfer to OK State, but decided to stay at UF. Just throwing that out there, because it can definitely happen. 👎

 

[Kpowell14]

A girl in my class came to UF because her husband is stationed in Pensacola, FL. She just found out they are moving him to Oklahoma now. She thought about a transfer to OK State, but decided to stay at UF. Just throwing that out there, because it can definitely happen. 👎

Omg that's horrible!! Sometimes I think the Military does that on purpose!

 

[EngrSC]

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to introduce myself: my name is Chelsea, and I am a hopeful c/o 2017 vet school applicant. My boyfriend is a firstie at West Point, right now.

I need advice- next year is completely unknown to both my boyfriend and I. The best case scenario would be I get into NCSU and he posts in NC, but who knows what will happen 😕. It is a possibility, however, because he will be able to choose his post.

I am struggling with the idea of getting married young, but it seems like the most realistic decision, once Will is on active duty, in case, god forbid, something happened.

Has anyone else gone through this? I would love some insight into how you made veterinary school and the military life work for your relationship.

Thanks!

Welcome Chelsea! I've been meaning to reply to your post 🙄

My husband I were legally married before he left for his deployment. Well actually we were planning our wedding to be last March but as the planning went along and we realized it was going to cost $20k we canceled it 😱. It wasn't something we truly wanted, it was really for our families. So we just went down to the San Diego County Courthouse and tied the knot (it was an equivalent experience to going to the DMV). Next summer we're just going to have a low key party or something of that nature.

There are A LOT of perks being married to someone in the service. I love the health insurance (Tri Care), he gets more housing allowance as well as spousal support, and it's reassuring to know that if something happened to him overseas I would be alright financially. Also, many places offer a military discount which you can get with a dependent ID and shopping on base saves a ton of money because things are cheaper and you don't pay sales tax. It's also easier to find housing (for some reason landlords seem to love military).

I'm not sure if this applies to vet school or not but universities can't require you pay out of state tuition if your spouse has orders to that state. Kind of a really nice perk (but again, I'm not sure if it applies to vet school).

My husband and I have been lucky enough to not have been separated (except when he's overseas) and we're going to do everything in our power to avoid it. I think the best thing you can do at this point is prepare to be separated. I know there's a negative stigma associated with couples/marriage counseling but really, it's amazing. My husband and I went before we got married and it really helped us learn how to communicate clearly and effectively, which I think is super important not only to have a successful marriage but is key if you'll be long distance. Any issues you have now, even the small ones, will definitely be magnified by being separated short or long term.

 

[Laurren]

My SO is in the Marine Corps. His contract is up in April, he has made the decision to attend college for Pre-Veterinary Medicine. However, he doesn't have any hours in a clinic, or any animal industry. He hasn't been home since last December, and he says he doesn't want to spend a day away from me.
I'm really considering finishing up Pre-Vet and applying with just that, and not going after a bachelors degree, however, that would separate us...again. He talks about getting married in 2014...I love him to death, but it's like all the scenarios make me worry about our relationship.

 

[Kpowell14]

I love all the military SOs coming out of the wood work 😀

 

[cvanthof]

Welcome Chelsea! I've been meaning to reply to your post 🙄

My husband I were legally married before he left for his deployment. Well actually we were planning our wedding to be last March but as the planning went along and we realized it was going to cost $20k we canceled it 😱. It wasn't something we truly wanted, it was really for our families. So we just went down to the San Diego County Courthouse and tied the knot (it was an equivalent experience to going to the DMV). Next summer we're just going to have a low key party or something of that nature.

There are A LOT of perks being married to someone in the service. I love the health insurance (Tri Care), he gets more housing allowance as well as spousal support, and it's reassuring to know that if something happened to him overseas I would be alright financially. Also, many places offer a military discount which you can get with a dependent ID and shopping on base saves a ton of money because things are cheaper and you don't pay sales tax. It's also easier to find housing (for some reason landlords seem to love military).

I'm not sure if this applies to vet school or not but universities can't require you pay out of state tuition if your spouse has orders to that state. Kind of a really nice perk (but again, I'm not sure if it applies to vet school).

My husband and I have been lucky enough to not have been separated (except when he's overseas) and we're going to do everything in our power to avoid it. I think the best thing you can do at this point is prepare to be separated. I know there's a negative stigma associated with couples/marriage counseling but really, it's amazing. My husband and I went before we got married and it really helped us learn how to communicate clearly and effectively, which I think is super important not only to have a successful marriage but is key if you'll be long distance. Any issues you have now, even the small ones, will definitely be magnified by being separated short or long term.

After branch night, tonight, I am almost certain Will will NOT be posting in NC 🙁 I do believe we will be married before he leaves for whatever base he ends up at. I didn't realize there were so many perks lol.

The thing is, I don't want to get married young because I would like to have a nice wedding, with a nice budget. I suppose that could take a long, long time in this profession, though...Our wedding will probably be YEARS after we get married 🙄

Will and I have always been able to communicate really well- I just am not looking forward to four more years in a LDR. 👎

 

[Kpowell14]

After branch night, tonight, I am almost certain Will will NOT be posting in NC 🙁 I do believe we will be married before he leaves for whatever base he ends up at. I didn't realize there were so many perks lol.

The thing is, I don't want to get married young because I would like to have a nice wedding, with a nice budget. I suppose that could take a long, long time in this profession, though...Our wedding will probably be YEARS after we get married 🙄

Will and I have always been able to communicate really well- I just am not looking forward to four more years in a LDR. 👎

I had the same thought process as you about getting married initially. I literally had my wedding planned out.. But then I had a reality check when I took a finance class at my university.. The cost of the wedding I wanted was gonna be 10-20 thousand easy... But I could easily use that amount of money and spend it on my living expenses for vet school ( if I can get in) and keep my student loans as low as possible..

To me, the amount of debt you take on as a vet student compared to starting salaries was enough to say, ok I'd much rather elope or do a 10 -20 person wedding and save all that money... Now the plan is, when babe gets home from Afghan, we are gonna either go to the courthouse or go on a cruise and get married.. Then just have a big party later.

Another thing that made this decision very easy was that trying to plan a wedding was going to be nearly impossible.. We have an estimated time of when he will be home.. But that can always change.. You can't go to a vendor and plan a wedding without first Setting A DATE!!! yea so the fact that nothing is definite in the Army made me think, ok , this would just be better if we eloped lol.

How old are you? I'm only 22 ( about to be 23 in 5 days 😀 ) the whole getting married young thing doesn't really matter much if you both know this is what you want to do and that your not getting married just bc of the danger he could face being deployed or just to get the added benefits. If your getting married for the right reasons and are Ready to be married then this should not be an issue. You would be surprised at how many people get married just for the benefits or just bc they have gotten deployment orders.. My question is, would they be rushing to get married if he had a normal job? Probably not... Moral of the story, don't let the job dictate when you get married.. When your ready is when it should happen.

 

[EngrSC]

I had the same thought process as you about getting married initially. I literally had my wedding planned out.. But then I had a reality check when I took a finance class at my university.. The cost of the wedding I wanted was gonna be 10-20 thousand easy... But I could easily use that amount of money and spend it on my living expenses for vet school ( if I can get in) and keep my student loans as low as possible..

To me, the amount of debt you take on as a vet student compared to starting salaries was enough to say, ok I'd much rather elope or do a 10 -20 person wedding and save all that money... Now the plan is, when babe gets home from Afghan, we are gonna either go to the courthouse or go on a cruise and get married.. Then just have a big party later.

Another thing that made this decision very easy was that trying to plan a wedding was going to be nearly impossible.. We have an estimated time of when he will be home.. But that can always change.. You can't go to a vendor and plan a wedding without first Setting A DATE!!! yea so the fact that nothing is definite in the Army made me think, ok , this would just be better if we eloped lol.

How old are you? I'm only 22 ( about to be 23 in 5 days 😀 ) the whole getting married young thing doesn't really matter much if you both know this is what you want to do and that your not getting married just bc of the danger he could face being deployed or just to get the added benefits. If your getting married for the right reasons and are Ready to be married then this should not be an issue. You would be surprised at how many people get married just for the benefits or just bc they have gotten deployment orders.. My question is, would they be rushing to get married if he had a normal job? Probably not... Moral of the story, don't let the job dictate when you get married.. When your ready is when it should happen.

👍 👍 👍 👍
This is how a lot of military couples do it!

I'll be 25 on Sunday and we got married when I was 22 and he was 26. But shhhhh don't tell any of my family that because we didn't tell them until like 7 months ago 😛

 

[Kpowell14]

👍 👍 👍 👍
This is how a lot of military couples do it!

I'll be 25 on Sunday and we got married when I was 22 and he was 26. But shhhhh don't tell any of my family that because we didn't tell them until like 7 months ago 😛

Bahaha too funny!!

 

[EngrSC]

Bahaha too funny!!

Yeah, we were secretly married for 2 years. I highly discourage this method

 

[cvanthof]

I had the same thought process as you about getting married initially. I literally had my wedding planned out.. But then I had a reality check when I took a finance class at my university.. The cost of the wedding I wanted was gonna be 10-20 thousand easy... But I could easily use that amount of money and spend it on my living expenses for vet school ( if I can get in) and keep my student loans as low as possible..

To me, the amount of debt you take on as a vet student compared to starting salaries was enough to say, ok I'd much rather elope or do a 10 -20 person wedding and save all that money... Now the plan is, when babe gets home from Afghan, we are gonna either go to the courthouse or go on a cruise and get married.. Then just have a big party later.

Another thing that made this decision very easy was that trying to plan a wedding was going to be nearly impossible.. We have an estimated time of when he will be home.. But that can always change.. You can't go to a vendor and plan a wedding without first Setting A DATE!!! yea so the fact that nothing is definite in the Army made me think, ok , this would just be better if we eloped lol.

This didn't even occur to me 🙁 My original plan, if I didn't get into vet school this cycle, was to get legally married and live with him on the base for a year, plan the wedding in that time (however modest it might be) and get married in the Fall of my first year in vet school...but who knows if he will be deployed at that time, or anything else for that matter. Maybe he knows something I don't about when he will be around

How old are you? I'm only 22 ( about to be 23 in 5 days 😀 ) the whole getting married young thing doesn't really matter much if you both know this is what you want to do and that your not getting married just bc of the danger he could face being deployed or just to get the added benefits. If your getting married for the right reasons and are Ready to be married then this should not be an issue. You would be surprised at how many people get married just for the benefits or just bc they have gotten deployment orders.. My question is, would they be rushing to get married if he had a normal job? Probably not... Moral of the story, don't let the job dictate when you get married.. When your ready is when it should happen.

I'm 21...we always knew we would get married, there just seems to be such a stigma around it where I am from (NH/MA), but it really is the most sensible option when it comes to mil SOs. My best friend's boyfriend is starting his Masters in Maryland, and she is hellbent on being engaged before they move in together. She has her wedding all planned out, and she kind of gave him in ultimatum- ring or she's not moving in with him. I honestly have never daydreamed about my wedding...it has never been this huge deal to me, other than thinking I wanted a nice, not too big one, but eloping is looking better and better haha

 

[Kpowell14]

This didn't even occur to me 🙁 My original plan, if I didn't get into vet school this cycle, was to get legally married and live with him on the base for a year, plan the wedding in that time (however modest it might be) and get married in the Fall of my first year in vet school...but who knows if he will be deployed at that time, or anything else for that matter. Maybe he knows something I don't about when he will be around



I'm 21...we always knew we would get married, there just seems to be such a stigma around it where I am from (NH/MA), but it really is the most sensible option when it comes to mil SOs. My best friend's boyfriend is starting his Masters in Maryland, and she is hellbent on being engaged before they move in together. She has her wedding all planned out, and she kind of gave him in ultimatum- ring or she's not moving in with him. I honestly have never daydreamed about my wedding...it has never been this huge deal to me, other than thinking I wanted a nice, not too big one, but eloping is looking better and better haha

There is a stigma for military SOs in every aspect of life.. Don't let them hold you down!! When my friends found out he was deploying it was all, I'm so sorry... Do you worry he will cheat?? Do you worry about being lonely?? .... No Biotch I don't worry about him cheating, and yea it's lonely, but that's why I work my tush off and stay busy to pass the time.. You get married quick and they question your motives, you wait to get married and they wonder, why didn't you get married before he deployed?? There will ALWAYS be people that run their mouth, it's your choice whether to listen or to let it roll off your shoulders. Me, I just let it roll 😉

 

[cvanthof]

Yeah, we were secretly married for 2 years. I highly discourage this method

Please elaborate...I was highly considering this method...

 

[cvanthof]

There is a stigma for military SOs in every aspect of life.. Don't let them hold you down!! When my friends found out he was deploying it was all, I'm so sorry... Do you worry he will cheat?? Do you worry about being lonely?? .... No Biotch I don't worry about him cheating, and yea it's lonely, but that's why I work my tush off and stay busy to pass the time.. You get married quick and they question your motives, you wait to get married and they wonder, why didn't you get married before he deployed?? There will ALWAYS be people that run their mouth, it's your choice whether to listen or to let it roll off your shoulders. Me, I just let it roll 😉

🙂😎👍

 

[Kpowell14]

Yeah, we were secretly married for 2 years. I highly discourage this method

I would totally do this if I was scared of what my parents thought about us getting marred lol but I've told my mom up front, we are gonna elope, Adios!!!

 

[EngrSC]

There is a stigma for military SOs in every aspect of life.. Don't let them hold you down!! When my friends found out he was deploying it was all, I'm so sorry... Do you worry he will cheat?? Do you worry about being lonely?? .... No Biotch I don't worry about him cheating, and yea it's lonely, but that's why I work my tush off and stay busy to pass the time.. You get married quick and they question your motives, you wait to get married and they wonder, why didn't you get married before he deployed?? There will ALWAYS be people that run their mouth, it's your choice whether to listen or to let it roll off your shoulders. Me, I just let it roll 😉

I was actually explaining this cheating thing to someone yesterday. I totally trust my husband and have no reason to think he would ever cheat on me. If anything, I imagine the cheating thing is more of a worry for him with me being here. Theoretically I could have another relationship on the side when he's away (not that I would) ... whereas he's overseas with slutty Navy chicks (who he wouldn't touch with a 10' pole) and his guys. And he's never been into "exotic" women 😛

 

[cvanthof]

I would totally do this if I was scared of what my parents thought about us getting marred lol but I've told my mom up front, we are gonna elope, Adios!!!

My mom told me if we got married at the courthouse, she wanted to be one of the witnesses. Is it still eloping if you have a guest? 😛

 

[EngrSC]

Please elaborate...I was highly considering this method...

I would totally do this if I was scared of what my parents thought about us getting marred lol but I've told my mom up front, we are gonna elope, Adios!!!

My parents felt I was young and weren't enthusiastic about me marrying a military guy. My grandma's sister married military and because they had kids and moved frequently she never had a job so they really struggled financially. It took my family some time to realize that it's different these days and I have no desire what-so-ever to be a stay-at-home-mom, hence I will always be working. San Diego is a huge military city and there are a lot of scum bag Navy guys ... so until they really knew my husband well they kind of just assumed that he was one.

Essentially it boiled down to me not feeling comfortable telling my family I was getting married. They've always been very critical of my decisions in life and I really just didn't want to hear it. I felt I knew what was best for me and left them out of it.

So being secretly married for 2 years was a bit rough. My family didn't acknowledge the seriousness of our relationship and weren't happy about us living together. Through my undergrad years I had some serious medical issues I was working through (now resolved) and it was hard to keep our marriage hush-hush when my mom wanted to come with me to doctor's appointments because I had to show my insurance card which was my dependent ID. When I got base decals on my car they kind of questioned it and I had to make up some bogus white lie that we had just randomly decided to combine our car insurance. And our checks had both of our names on them so then they were questioning why we had joined our bank accounts when we weren't married.

It's really difficult to keep a military marriage a secret! Finally we just told my family that we had gotten legally married (just left off the part that it had been 2 years prior). My grandparents and my dad were hurt that they hadn't been there (even though going to the courthouse is an equivalent experience to going to the DMV) but my mom was actually super happy and thought we made the right decision.

Living in base housing would out your marriage for sure because it's pretty common knowledge that you can't live there unless you're married!

Being openly married is definitely the way to go 👍 We are sooooo much happier now that we are "out of the closet"

 

[Kpowell14]

Being openly married is definitely the way to go 👍 We are sooooo much happier now that we are "out of the closet"

Bahaha

 

[Emiloo4]

that your not getting married just bc of the danger he could face being deployed or just to get the added benefits. If your getting married for the right reasons and are Ready to be married then this should not be an issue. You would be surprised at how many people get married just for the benefits or just bc they have gotten deployment orders.. My question is, would they be rushing to get married if he had a normal job? Probably not... Moral of the story, don't let the job dictate when you get married.. When your ready is when it should happen.

👍👍👍👍

Theoretically I could have another relationship on the side when he's away (not that I would) ... whereas he's overseas with slutty Navy chicks (who he wouldn't touch with a 10' pole) and his guys. And he's never been into "exotic" women 😛

😆 👍

 

[cvanthof]

Funny how I just posted about this...

Will told me tonight that he had a surprise for me, but not until Christmas (the next time we see each other). He then added that our recently engaged friends helped him with it. We weren't planning on buying gifts because he lent me the money I needed to submit the VMCAS (yall know how much that can be 👎).

Then, I started to think...
I mentioned to him just a few weeks ago that I thought we should think about getting married next year.
This week, one of the engaged friends randomly asked me to go to a casting call with her, and then we had this big conversation about marriage on the way home.

I am anticipating a proposal this Christmas...am I being over-assumptive? A part of me was really excited when this popped into my head, but I don't want to set myself up for disappointment. I can picture Will elaborately scheming to figure out what I want, but I can't even picture him thinking about marriage. He is a very "in the now" type of guy, and they JUST got their branch position for the next five years. 😱 So I doubt he has anything but that on his mind atm.

 

[Emiloo4]

Funny how I just posted about this...

Will told me tonight that he had a surprise for me, but not until Christmas (the next time we see each other). He then added that our recently engaged friends helped him with it. We weren't planning on buying gifts because he lent me the money I needed to submit the VMCAS (yall know how much that can be 👎).

Then, I started to think...
I mentioned to him just a few weeks ago that I thought we should think about getting married next year.
This week, one of the engaged friends randomly asked me to go to a casting call with her, and then we had this big conversation about marriage on the way home.

I am anticipating a proposal this Christmas...am I being over-assumptive? A part of me was really excited when this popped into my head, but I don't want to set myself up for disappointment. I can picture Will elaborately scheming to figure out what I want, but I can't even picture him thinking about marriage. He is a very "in the now" type of guy, and they JUST got their branch position for the next five years. 😱 So I doubt he has anything but that on his mind atm.

Don't do that to yourself. 2 things will come out of it...
1) He won't propose and you will be insanely disappointed. 👎
2) He will propose and it won't be a surprise and it will take all the fun out of it. 👎

Just go along for the ride and enjoy it when it happens. Whether that's this Christmas or on a random Tuesday next July.

 

[Kpowell14]

Funny how I just posted about this...

Will told me tonight that he had a surprise for me, but not until Christmas (the next time we see each other). He then added that our recently engaged friends helped him with it. We weren't planning on buying gifts because he lent me the money I needed to submit the VMCAS (yall know how much that can be 👎).

Then, I started to think...
I mentioned to him just a few weeks ago that I thought we should think about getting married next year.
This week, one of the engaged friends randomly asked me to go to a casting call with her, and then we had this big conversation about marriage on the way home.

I am anticipating a proposal this Christmas...am I being over-assumptive? A part of me was really excited when this popped into my head, but I don't want to set myself up for disappointment. I can picture Will elaborately scheming to figure out what I want, but I can't even picture him thinking about marriage. He is a very "in the now" type of guy, and they JUST got their branch position for the next five years. 😱 So I doubt he has anything but that on his mind atm.

Do noooot dwell on this!!! It will drive you INSANE!!!

When zach was at AIT he randomly sent me pictures of rings one day, asking what I thought... I thought FOR SURE that he was gonna pop the question next time I saw him which was like a month later.. Of course he didn't...

He didn't propose until a whole year and a half later... A total of 6 visits happened in that time frame.. He came home twice, I went to see him 4 times... And he didn't do it until he came home this October ... Everytime I would go see him I thought, maybe this time... NOPE lol so don't set yourself up for disappointment!!!! It will happen when the time is right 😀 😍

 

[cvanthof]

Do noooot dwell on this!!! It will drive you INSANE!!!

When zach was at AIT he randomly sent me pictures of rings one day, asking what I thought... I thought FOR SURE that he was gonna pop the question next time I saw him which was like a month later.. Of course he didn't...

He didn't propose until a whole year and a half later... A total of 6 visits happened in that time frame.. He came home twice, I went to see him 4 times... And he didn't do it until he came home this October ... Everytime I would go see him I thought, maybe this time... NOPE lol so don't set yourself up for disappointment!!!! It will happen when the time is right 😀 😍

omg I would explode! man, i should just throw this right out the window...

...too bad im already fantasizing about announcing it hahaha 😍

 

[Kpowell14]

omg I would explode! man, i should just throw this right out the window...

...too bad im already fantasizing about announcing it hahaha 😍

Bahaha. Ive been there.. Our wedding was planned on Pinterest before I even had a ring on my finger... Now that I have it, I could care less about a ceremony... I just want him lol 😍

 

[cvanthof]

I just want him lol 😍

😍😍

 

[EngrSC]

ARRRGGHHH ... my husband was supposed to be coming home Wednesday morning, then over the weekend it got switched to Friday, which I could live with. Then today he finds out all the flights are canceled for this week so he won't be home until next Monday or Tuesday 😡

The most frustrating part is that I got time off work this week. I can easily change my engineering schedule around but my vet hospital job not so much 🙁

 

[Emiloo4]

ARRRGGHHH ... my husband was supposed to be coming home Wednesday morning, then over the weekend it got switched to Friday, which I could live with. Then today he finds out all the flights are canceled for this week so he won't be home until next Monday or Tuesday 😡

The most frustrating part is that I got time off work this week. I can easily change my engineering schedule around but my vet hospital job not so much 🙁

Did you expect any different from the military and their scheduling? 😉
My least favorite part for sure.
Sorry to hear 🙁

 

[EngrSC]

Did you expect any different from the military and their scheduling? 😉
My least favorite part for sure.
Sorry to hear 🙁

Of course not, they always change things last minute 😡

I have this Saturday off from the vet hospital ... what in the world am I going to do with myself???? 😱

 

[cvanthof]

ARRRGGHHH ... my husband was supposed to be coming home Wednesday morning, then over the weekend it got switched to Friday, which I could live with. Then today he finds out all the flights are canceled for this week so he won't be home until next Monday or Tuesday 😡

The most frustrating part is that I got time off work this week. I can easily change my engineering schedule around but my vet hospital job not so much 🙁

Ugh. that is the worst 😡

But at least he is still coming home soon? stay positive 👍

 

[EngrSC]

Ugh. that is the worst 😡

But at least he is still coming home soon? stay positive 👍

for next week!!

 

[abbercadaver]

Ohohoh! My husband was in the Marines when we met! I'ma come join this here club. 😉