MD & DO MS4 wedding planning help!

[madgotr1992]

Hi everyone! I was hoping to gauge some input from current fourth years and interns on the best time to get married during fourth year.

Options:
-2 weeks in between 3rd and 4th year (2019)
-winter break of 4th year (2019)
-after graduation (2020)

My fiance is a year ahead of me, which complicates things. While I'm a fourth year, he will be an intern. We don't know where he will be matching (obviously) so it is hard to coordinate around something set in stone.

There are positives and negatives to all the options, but I was hoping someone out there had done the impossible and can shed some guidance.

I appreciate any and all help! Planning a wedding is not easy to begin with, adding two conflicting schedules has made it much more difficult!

Thank you!

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[Frogger27]

title was deceiving.. I was hoping to help pick out the cake

 

[madgotr1992]

title was deceiving.. I was hoping to help pick out the cake

lol well stay tuned.. will need assistance down the line

 

[Newyawk]

Hi everyone! I was hoping to gauge some input from current fourth years and interns on the best time to get married during fourth year.

Options:
-2 weeks in between 3rd and 4th year (2019)
-winter break of 4th year (2019)
-after graduation (2020)

My fiance is a year ahead of me, which complicates things. While I'm a fourth year, he will be an intern. We don't know where he will be matching (obviously) so it is hard to coordinate around something set in stone.

There are positives and negatives to all the options, but I was hoping someone out there had done the impossible and can shed some guidance.

I appreciate any and all help! Planning a wedding is not easy to begin with, adding two conflicting schedules has made it much more difficult!

Thank you!

 

[madgotr1992]

how have i not seen this before... but yes this was me until a month ago so it's fine.

 

[Newyawk]

how have i not seen this before... but yes this was me until a month ago so it's fine.
View attachment 226296

 

[AMEHigh]

In the grand scheme of things I don't think it really matters. When you have 2 working professionals in any career there are going to be difficulties in scheduling life events.

I'd wait until your partner matches and see what their schedule and vacation time is like as that is widely program specific. Once you know that, then you can decide which option will also work best for your schedule.

 

[madgotr1992]

In the grand scheme of things I don't think it really matters. When you have 2 working professionals in any career there are going to be difficulties in scheduling life events.

I'd wait until your partner matches and see what their schedule and vacation time is like as that is widely program specific. Once you know that, then you can decide which option will also work best for your schedule.

awesome - thank you for the reply! i appreciate it!

 

[ChipperChop]

There will never be a perfect time. You just need to choose a date and do it! By the time internship starts, he will be very busy. Everyone is and vacation time is limited. Then repeat the story when youre an intern

 

[madgotr1992]

There will never be a perfect time. You just need to choose a date and do it! By the time internship starts, he will be very busy. Everyone is and vacation time is limited. Then repeat the story when youre an intern

Thank you so much!! We are leaning towards before his intern year with a delayed honeymoon after my graduation!

 

[WingedOx]

Do it early enough in your career that you can get your family to pay for it.

 

[madgotr1992]

Do it early enough in your career that you can get your family to pay for it.

great thinking lol

 

[LookForZebras]

I got married during M4. It was in the middle of an outpatient rotation. I was able to take Thursday and Friday off, got married Saturday morning (it was a brunch reception), went on a 24-hour honeymoon to a B&B about an hour away, and returned to my rotation on Monday. It was wonderful. There's no sense in waiting for the "perfect" time, since you'll be spending the rest of your lives together. My advice is to plan the timing and details of your wedding for the sake of getting married, rather than for the sake of the wedding itself. So, while all of the options you've listed seem like they would be fine, why even wait until 2019?

 

[madgotr1992]

I got married during M4. It was in the middle of an outpatient rotation. I was able to take Thursday and Friday off, got married Saturday morning (it was a brunch reception), went on a 24-hour honeymoon to a B&B about an hour away, and returned to my rotation on Monday. It was wonderful. There's no sense in waiting for the "perfect" time, since you'll be spending the rest of your lives together. My advice is to plan the timing and details of your wedding for the sake of getting married, rather than for the sake of the wedding itself. So, while all of the options you've listed seem like they would be fine, why even wait until 2019?

I love that piece of advice! I can easily see the planning getting wrapped up for the sake of wedding rather than to be married - so thank you for this insight! But 2019 is more of a personal reason, since currently my SO and I live in different states. I would like to live as few of years as possible long distance while a newlywed!

 

[turayza]

I'm in a similar situation except I am the year-ahead partner. We are also in different states. Our plan is to get married the weekend before my graduation (May 2019) and go on a 1-2w honeymoon between my grad and start of intern year. I have found for my own M4 scheduling that it is pretty easy to plan a flexible schedule for the summer between M3/M4, keeping in mind that you will need to do a sub I or multiple depending on your specialty of interest before August. There are so many unknowns when it comes to intern year that it would be a nightmare planning a wedding (venues need to be booked a year out - no way you'll know what the schedule is that far ahead) unless you were doing something casual without a venue.

Cheers and good luck!

 

[madgotr1992]

I'm in a similar situation except I am the year-ahead partner. We are also in different states. Our plan is to get married the weekend before my graduation (May 2019) and go on a 1-2w honeymoon between my grad and start of intern year. I have found for my own M4 scheduling that it is pretty easy to plan a flexible schedule for the summer between M3/M4, keeping in mind that you will need to do a sub I or multiple depending on your specialty of interest before August. There are so many unknowns when it comes to intern year that it would be a nightmare planning a wedding (venues need to be booked a year out - no way you'll know what the schedule is that far ahead) unless you were doing something casual without a venue.

Cheers and good luck!

it's so comforting to have someone in the same situation! so thank you so much for sharing!!! I had a hard time moving things around the end of my 3rd year, so that's why I decided to wait until it was completely over, which is right before he will be starting! so we will have a postponed honeymoon!

but congratulations to you and your partner!!! thank you so much for sharing your story!

 

[Redpancreas]

Hi everyone! I was hoping to gauge some input from current fourth years and interns on the best time to get married during fourth year.

Options:
-2 weeks in between 3rd and 4th year (2019)
-winter break of 4th year (2019)
-after graduation (2020)

My fiance is a year ahead of me, which complicates things. While I'm a fourth year, he will be an intern. We don't know where he will be matching (obviously) so it is hard to coordinate around something set in stone.

There are positives and negatives to all the options, but I was hoping someone out there had done the impossible and can shed some guidance.

I appreciate any and all help! Planning a wedding is not easy to begin with, adding two conflicting schedules has made it much more difficult!

Thank you!

Late to the party here and didn’t read prior responses but probably December of your M4. He’ll be settled into Intern year while you’ll be at the stage where most 4th years transition from neurotic to checked out. The hurdles of Steps, applications, interviews, and anxiety of where you’ll go (not to be underestimated) are all gone and you now know where you stand. After graduation’s not a bad idea either but it’s later for no good reason. The M3-M4 gap should ideally be used for CK studying or at least you can take some time off to recharge as I hear that weddings can be quite stressful.

 

[madgotr1992]

Late to the party here and didn’t read prior responses but probably December of your M4. He’ll be settled into Intern year while you’ll be at the stage where most 4th years transition from neurotic to checked out. The hurdles of Steps, applications, interviews, and anxiety of where you’ll go (not to be underestimated) are all gone and you now know where you stand. After graduation’s not a bad idea either but it’s later for no good reason. The M3-M4 gap should ideally be used for CK studying or at least you can take some time off to recharge as I hear that weddings can be quite stressful.

I initially liked that time period the best too for reasons you mentioned! One thing I was worried about was late December interviews! I would hate to have to miss an interview for my wedding due to travel time, etc.

 

[Redpancreas]

I initially liked that time period the best too for reasons you mentioned! One thing I was worried about was late December interviews! I would hate to have to miss an interview for my wedding due to travel time, etc.

What is your field? For any non-surgical subspecialty/Derm, the Interview schedule is the following:
Starting in 9/15 but until mid-October invites come in a wave as you may have seen with your fiancé/bf. After you’ll maybe a few waitlists some of which will turn into invites later. You’re give the option to schedule whenever. I interviewed at 15 places and after December 21st, I only have two interviews left and had I wanted I could have pulled one of those earlier. There is one top 3 pre-visit choice I’m IVing at in mid January that I got invited to a bit later that only had January dates left. I actually started late too with my first one being in mid-November because most people start in mid-October. Overall, the point I’m trying to make is you have a good degree of control on when your IVs are and you can schedule them before the wedding. Yes, an interview or two may be in Jan. and I don’t think scheduling 1 IV would be too bad. Also, coming from someone who’s still single, I’d imagine a wedding is a huge hurdle that also needs to get done so the two of you can move on to the next stage of life together. Otherwise, I suppose 6 months later is not bad either. If you’re Derm/Optho/Ortho, etc. interview season runs a bit later because they start a bit later and you can’t really afford to turn down/cancel any of them given the competitiveness of the field.

 

[trs88]

Are you near any large bodies of water? My boyfriend and I had talked about doing just a courthouse wedding since neither of us had a ton of family members and we were concerned about money. But after talking to my mother, she brought up the idea of having the wedding on a cruise. They'd take care of everything and it wasn't that expensive.

I've floated the idea to him to see what he thinks about it right after I finish with 4th year but before residency starts.

 

[madgotr1992]

What is your field? For any non-surgical subspecialty/Derm, the Interview schedule is the following:
Starting in 9/15 but until mid-October invites come in a wave as you may have seen with your fiancé/bf. After you’ll maybe a few waitlists some of which will turn into invites later. You’re give the option to schedule whenever. I interviewed at 15 places and after December 21st, I only have two interviews left and had I wanted I could have pulled one of those earlier. There is one top 3 pre-visit choice I’m IVing at in mid January that I got invited to a bit later that only had January dates left. I actually started late too with my first one being in mid-November because most people start in mid-October. Overall, the point I’m trying to make is you have a good degree of control on when your IVs are and you can schedule them before the wedding. Yes, an interview or two may be in Jan. and I don’t think scheduling 1 IV would be too bad. Also, coming from someone who’s still single, I’d imagine a wedding is a huge hurdle that also needs to get done so the two of you can move on to the next stage of life together. Otherwise, I suppose 6 months later is not bad either. If you’re Derm/Optho/Ortho, etc. interview season runs a bit later because they start a bit later and you can’t really afford to turn down/cancel any of them given the competitiveness of the field.

Tbh, I'm not 100% set on the field (only a lil second year here) but if I had to choose, it would be OBGYN. But thank you for sharing the general interview schedule, that's super helpful. It's been so weird having to look so far in the future when I haven't even taken step 1 yet! This was very informative and insightful - thank you!

 

[madgotr1992]

Are you near any large bodies of water? My boyfriend and I had talked about doing just a courthouse wedding since neither of us had a ton of family members and we were concerned about money. But after talking to my mother, she brought up the idea of having the wedding on a cruise. They'd take care of everything and it wasn't that expensive.

I've floated the idea to him to see what he thinks about it right after I finish with 4th year but before residency starts.

I actually had a friend who just did a cruise wedding last December, and it looked lovely! I hadn't really thought of it personally just because of how large my family is!

 

[Doctor Strange]

I solved this problem by eloping. Best decision I ever made.

 

[Redpancreas]

Tbh, I'm not 100% set on the field (only a lil second year here) but if I had to choose, it would be OBGYN. But thank you for sharing the general interview schedule, that's super helpful. It's been so weird having to look so far in the future when I haven't even taken step 1 yet! This was very informative and insightful - thank you!

Oh damn. I didn’t know you weren’t at that point yet. I wish I’d personally gotten the ball rolling and found someone by now as I’m looking to match this spring, but I’m glad that I could help you. Getting married in medical school to someone who’s also doing medicine would have been ideal so I’m glad I could help! Focus on Step 1. You’ll get some support for the rest.

 

[Redpancreas]

Are you near any large bodies of water? My boyfriend and I had talked about doing just a courthouse wedding since neither of us had a ton of family members and we were concerned about money. But after talking to my mother, she brought up the idea of having the wedding on a cruise. They'd take care of everything and it wasn't that expensive.

I've floated the idea to him to see what he thinks about it right after I finish with 4th year but before residency starts.

Isn’t it a bit tacky though?

 

[trs88]

Isn’t it a bit tacky though?

It depends on what you consider tacky. Neither of us have large families and my #1 issue was having a boring wedding with a bunch of family that I didn't like causing trouble. With a cruise I can avoid that. The trouble making family members won't attend and those that can will have the freedom to attend the activities that they think is fun. It could be zip lining on the islands, gambling on open waters, snorkeling, jet skiing, etc.

We also talked about having a destination wedding to some snow areas so the family could have fun doing snow activities.

 

[madgotr1992]

I solved this problem by eloping. Best decision I ever made.

Definitely something I should consider. Thank you for the input!

 

[madgotr1992]

Oh damn. I didn’t know you weren’t at that point yet. I wish I’d personally gotten the ball rolling and found someone by now as I’m looking to match this spring, but I’m glad that I could help you. Getting married in medical school to someone who’s also doing medicine would have been ideal so I’m glad I could help! Focus on Step 1. You’ll get some support for the rest.

Thank you so much! Main priority is step 1 right now, but as soon as that's done, I'll have the whole 3rd year to plan.