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My husband is thowing a fit about my rank list. And I HAVE made concessions - major ones. The whole thing is making me physically ill. Any suggestions?
jeff2005 said:My husband is thowing a fit about my rank list. And I HAVE made concessions - major ones. The whole thing is making me physically ill. Any suggestions?
jeff2005 said:My husband is thowing a fit about my rank list. And I HAVE made concessions - major ones. The whole thing is making me physically ill. Any suggestions?
AndyMilonakis said:SEriously jeff, I thought you and your husband settled this a long while ago. And given the fact that you mentioned Iowa is #3 on your list, I would have assumed that things were more or less peachy.
AndyMilonakis said:SEriously jeff, I thought you and your husband settled this a long while ago. And given the fact that you mentioned Iowa is #3 on your list, I would have assumed that things were more or less peachy.
AndyMilonakis said:just give him a *BONK!*
A major concession indeed...but I thought things would've quieted down after that. Guess not. Andy wrong again!jeff2005 said:How is Iowa being #3 peachy? It's my favorite program! Granted, i could still match there, but that's not for sure.
I consider putting your favorite program third to be a MAJOR concession. Even though he actually thinks it's fourth. Heehee!
Bonk him again! Bonk him again!jeff2005 said:i gave him a bonk last night. It didn't help.
AndyMilonakis said:Bonk him again! Bonk him again!
fine. go b-face-style on him.jeff2005 said:I'm not in the mood.
AndyMilonakis said:fine. go b-face-style on him.
"STFU!"
"What? What? Bring it!"
P.S. I saw that.
i know...life is a joke. can't take it too seriously.jeff2005 said:Ohhh... you mean THAT kind of bonk.
P.S. You're too funny!
jeff2005 said:I'm not in the mood.
BTW, I didn't mean that kind of bonk. *BONK!* Andy-style is hitting someone upside the head with a club. Although optional, the *BONK!* can be followed up by a STFU...kinda like a 2-hit combo.jeff2005 said:I'm not in the mood.
Doctor B. said:Happy wife, happy life.
Repeat until the correct decision is made.
delchrys said:what difference does it make if you get into a "great" program or into a "mediocre" program? were you planning on being the #1 specialist in the world, or do you just want to do a good job? there seems to be a lot of emphasis on how "good" a program one gets into, but in the end, if you learn how to do your job, what's the difference, unless you're looking to get into an uber-competetive fellowship afterwards?
i guess it will come down to a balancing decision on your part, then, whether you want to or not. first stage is deciding which is more important--his present-tense ostensible happiness or your desire to go to a program you want? the second stage is about whether you will be happy with your first stage decision--will you resent him so much it destroys your happiness as a result if you limit yourself for him (which a partner should never have to do for the other, and which a partner should never ask their S.O. to do for them), or will you leave him and go do your thing, only to regret it, or will he grow up and step outside his little comfort zone to explore life with you?
speaking of marriage, have you proposed to L yet?yaah said:Marriage is supposed to be a compromise but it seems like an awful lot of marriages are pretty one sided in this area. Too many people consider a compromise as "you agreeing with me."
Gandhi didn't advocate *BONK!*ing anyone. I like to *TWEAK* people's noses. It can be substituted for *BONK!* if you are not in the mood.yaah said:Alternatively, STFU can be followed by *BONK!* that way you have the chance to solve the problem non violently. Gandhi used this technique.
Blasphemy!bananaface said:Gandhi didn't advocate *BONK!*ing anyone. I like to *TWEAK* people's noses. It can be substituted for *BONK!* if you are not in the mood.
Doctor B. said:When faced with such situations with my wife, I repeat the following mantra:
Happy wife, happy life.
Repeat until the correct decision is made.
AndyMilonakis said:speaking of marriage, have you proposed to L yet?
banana said:Gandhi didn't advocate *BONK!*ing anyone. I like to *TWEAK* people's noses. It can be substituted for *BONK!* if you are not in the mood.
AndyMilonakis said:Blasphemy!
The *BONK!* is the real ultimate power!
delchrys said:two questions: what difference does it make if you get into a "great" program or into a "mediocre" program? were you planning on being the #1 specialist in the world, or do you just want to do a good job? there seems to be a lot of emphasis on how "good" a program one gets into, but in the end, if you learn how to do your job, what's the difference, unless you're looking to get into an uber-competetive fellowship afterwards?
second question: what if he decided he wanted to change jobs and move away to some new job location? would you go? of course not, because you "can't" (i'm NOT ripping on you here, just trying to create some perspective). many med students think that their match trumps the partner's career and lifestyle needs/wants. why? if you can get into a program that is in a place he can enjoy living, then why would your need or want to get into a specific program be more important than his wants or needs?
.
Ha! Now she's playing hard to get! Go get 'em tiger.yaah said:I don't think she likes me dude. I was down there talking to Dr R (autopsy guy) and I ran into them again and she wasn't really all over me.
MoosePilot said:To the OP and spouse - ya'll don't need to bring your discussion here.
Why not? As someone who is about to embark on the same journey, and in the same situation, it is helpful to hear from others in the same situation.
Jeff, tell your husband that, for what it's worth, I think he has some very valid points. The thing that really sucks for medical students, unlike the "real world",
we look for programs that we really love; and then, without any explanation, we are told to report to Hospital XXX -- one that we, perhaps, only find satisfactory.
The real irony: they make us BELIEVE that we have a choice ( the hospitals are in a similar predicament ), when in reality it's just the luck of the draw. The sad truth is that you may rank Hospital XXX number 20, only to discover in March that it's your home for the next 4-10 years!
Anyway, good luck to both of you. BTW, I drove through Iowa City recently -- have you noticed the distinct sound of banjos in the air? Scary!
stormjen said:Damn, I feel really violated now.
mosche said:Why not? As someone who is about to embark on the same journey, and in the same situation, it is helpful to hear from others in the same situation.
Jeff, tell your husband that, for what it's worth, I think he has some very valid points. The thing that really sucks for medical students, unlike the "real world",
we look for programs that we really love; and then, without any explanation, we are told to report to Hospital XXX -- one that we, perhaps, only find satisfactory.
The real irony: they make us BELIEVE that we have a choice ( the hospitals are in a similar predicament ), when in reality it's just the luck of the draw. The sad truth is that you may rank Hospital XXX number 20, only to discover in March that it's your home for the next 4-10 years!
Anyway, good luck to both of you. BTW, I drove through Iowa City recently -- have you noticed the distinct sound of banjos in the air? Scary!
Welcome back to our neck of the woods Moose!MoosePilot said:Because it's their domestic life, not mine. They don't need to be here giving us both sides of the story as if we can judge. We don't know all the little details of their personal life and don't need to. Seeking advice is one thing, but when both of them present their case, then it's gone too far in my opinion on a public forum.
MoosePilot said:Because it's their domestic life, not mine. They don't need to be here giving us both sides of the story as if we can judge. We don't know all the little details of their personal life and don't need to. Seeking advice is one thing, but when both of them present their case, then it's gone too far in my opinion on a public forum.