My first writing sample...please critique!

[hookgrip]

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[MDminded]

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[NinjaMed]

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I read through it earlier, it was pretty good.

It had to do with opportunity favouring the hardworking or something to that effect. The examples used were Schwarzenegger, bodybuilder, action star and former Governor and a race car driver, can't remember the name (Schumacher? Andretti?), but this race car driver had actually won a championship, but not 7 as Schwarzenegger did with Mr. Olympia. My first feelings were that the essay would be in the O/P/Q range.