My parents want me to be a doctor, but I don't!

[Ladynerd]

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easy answer- become a doctor, be rich, powerful, respected. do math as a hobby

Wakadaka, math is not my "hobby". Swimming, baking, taking walks, etc. are hobbies. Math is more than that; it's my passion. I'm currently struggling in a tough math class. It can be very frustrating, but I love the challenge, and now I realize that it's what I live for. How will I get through four years of med school and three years of residency doing nothing but living, eating, sleeping, BREATHING medicine when I would rather do the same with math? I know becoming a doctor would make me "rich, powerful, and respected", but as long as I'm making enough money to support myself while doing what I love for a living, I'll be happy. All this time, my parents, despite having good intentions, have acted as though becoming a doctor is the only good career option and scared me away from other jobs. But after thinking about all the advice and stories I've heard from you lovely people, as well as the lovely people I've talked to IRL, I've realized that I've lived my entire life as a scared child, and that needs to stop, as hard as it may be. I don't want to hurt my parents, but I need to face the facts: I can't live my parents' fantasy life of both a happy woman and a successful doctor. Because gosh darn it, I just can't see myself as anything other than a mathematician. I remember a speaker came to my high school a few years ago and talked about how everyone has a gift to offer the world. My parents' gift is medicine, my brother's is law, and I guess mine is math. I would like to thank all of you for your advice and encouragement.

 

[SufiPoet]

It's tough dealing with your parents aspirations. When premed/science majors have told me the life of a starving artist appeals to them more and that they care about their creativity but their parents want them to be a doctor......I think, stick with the Doctor route.

In your case, you have a perfectly employable life ahead of you, so I would advise you to do anything and everything that you can to preserve your mental sanity. Your parents might not always be around, but you'll always be in a career you don't want to be in if you go down this route.

 

[optimistic3]

Wakadaka, math is not my "hobby". Swimming, baking, taking walks, etc. are hobbies. Math is more than that; it's my passion. I'm currently struggling in a tough math class. It can be very frustrating, but I love the challenge, and now I realize that it's what I live for. How will I get through four years of med school and three years of residency doing nothing but living, eating, sleeping, BREATHING medicine when I would rather do the same with math? I know becoming a doctor would make me "rich, powerful, and respected", but as long as I'm making enough money to support myself while doing what I love for a living, I'll be happy. All this time, my parents, despite having good intentions, have acted as though becoming a doctor is the only good career option and scared me away from other jobs. But after thinking about all the advice and stories I've heard from you lovely people, as well as the lovely people I've talked to IRL, I've realized that I've lived my entire life as a scared child, and that needs to stop, as hard as it may be. I don't want to hurt my parents, but I need to face the facts: I can't live my parents' fantasy life of both a happy woman and a successful doctor. Because gosh darn it, I just can't see myself as anything other than a mathematician. I remember a speaker came to my high school a few years ago and talked about how everyone has a gift to offer the world. My parents' gift is medicine, my brother's is law, and I guess mine is math. I would like to thank all of you for your advice and encouragement.

I must say, you are so lucky to have found something you are this passionate about at a young age! I know firsthand that disappointing your parents hurts on the inside but you have to find solace in the fact that it is your life and that you are the one who is going to have to live with your career choice, not your parents. I think the idea of pursuing both pre-med classes and math classes is a good idea, though. I'm always a fan of keeping my options open because situations can change!

 

[athlete421]

Simple. Don't do medicine. I know it's really hard to not follow what your parents want you to do, but you have to understand... it's not like you're rebelling against them. In the end, this your life, and you absolutely cannot enter a field that requires so much money and time investment if it's not something you really, truly want to do. It's not worth it. It's takes a lot of hard work to get into medical school. It's a lot of hard work IN medical school...then residency...then practicing. You don't want that nagging feeling of regret following you all the way, and it'd really impact your motivation.

A lot of parents, including my own father, have this notion that being a doctor is oh-so-wonderful and is an "easy" life because of the so-called prestige, money, fancy cars, nice houses. I don't know what mindset your parents have, but I really had to tune out my dad for a long time to figure out what I wanted to do in life.

Just because you're intelligent, doesn't mean medicine is the one and only career out there. It doesn't mean that you're "settling" for something less by not going into medicine.

So go for math. Do your research, find out what doors this passion can open for you, and go for it.

At the end of the day, you need to be as happy and satisfied with the life you're living as possible. What's awesome is that your passion is employable too!

Besides, think about it. If medicine is not your passion, it's better off for your patients that you don't become a doctor lol. 😉 As a patient, wouldn't you want your doctor to be someone who at the end of the day doesn't regret their field of work?

Your parents will hopefully come to accept it and support your decision. I'm sure they would rather you realize that medicine is not your passion NOW, then have you realize it years down the road if you decide to pull out of medical school.

 

[deleted307836]

I'm sympathetic to pressure from parents, and obviously you care a lot about your parents if you want to meet their expectations. Quite frankly, though, they would be pretty ****ty parents to not support you in your goals. You should live your life how you want and it sounds like you have exciting aspirations for yourself in math. I would be more sympathetic to your parents concerns if you wanted to be a sculptor or something like that, but that isn't the case. What your parents don't realize is that you would be putting yourself through absolute misery only so that they are "satisfied." That isn't fair to you, and it's a waste of your talents and your time.