My Step I Story -- AKA "How I think I might be smart but still got a 207"

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.

letusbedocs

Member
7+ Year Member
15+ Year Member
20+ Year Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2003
Messages
44
Reaction score
0
I know I could have posted this link in another thread, but I just wanted to hash some things about Step I and perhaps let people learn a bit along the way about the nature of the test and what it takes to succeed over that beast.

Well, I always do well on standardized tests. Granted it's not 99th% well -- but I'm a solid 93% percenter. My SAT scores were 1480 and my MCAT scores were 33 (same score in each subject) -- I think both such scores project to about 93% or so (the SAT is a bit higher -- but you're going against the whole population there).

So, I'm not a 1590 SAT or 37 MCAT type guy who was hoping for 255 on STEP I. But, I didn't think I would do as badly as I did. Honestly, I was hoping for a 222 or so and I'd call it a day.

So, needless to say the score shocked me. But, given how I took to medical school I can't see it's too surprising. Here are some myths I feel my experience with the beast tell:

1. Your score is not going to be related to your standardized test taking abilities. As you saw, my SATs and MCATs were decent -- not great -- but decent. However, I was not able to rely upon my test taking skills for STEP I. Unfortunately, you can't really "game" the test -- like finding too many obvious wrong answers/hoping to reason ou the right answer/or even doing something like finishing your Orgo passages first.

I'm a slow, but good reader and I just barely finished each section. That might have been a mistake on STEP I. Unlike the MCAT, this test is forcing to see if you can quickly learn what is and what is not important about a given patient or disease. It's not looking at comprehension as much.

Even the NBME says that the best indicator of performance is your SHELF grades if your school does the shelf. And, I'd say that's freakily correct. I was right below average for my med school (which gets the average on STEP I) on shelf exams and that's how I did upon STEP I. I always said I'd make up for lost ground when it came to STEP I but I was not able to do so.

2. Your score is going to reflect the amount of work you put in for the first two years of medical school. For people about to take the test and have not put in too much work -- I'm sorry. But, really, you start preparing for this test from Day I of Med School. You have to start making associations (like not only what does liver cancer look like but that Hep vaccines are really a cancer preventing vaccine) and you have to start learning what is important quick -- and retain it.

I do fault most medical schools a bit for killing any desire/ability to study for STEP I effectively in this sense. Most of the classes at my American med school were so much about picky facts it was ridiculous. Most tests would not be written to emphasize the important stuff (which was in there still) but to see how much we understood super-specialized lectures. For instance, probably 80% of our tests were like thus: about 30 lectures given by 6-8 different people and each person writing about 3-4 questions per lecture they gave. Now, of their 3-4 questions I'd say about 1-2 were STEP I worthy. The rest just forced you to memorize their stupid lecture notes.

The top schools -- like Penn or NYU at least -- actually let students take STEP I after third year. I can't recommend that approach enough. The test is not entirely clinical but clinical experience does help. Moreover, you knowledge about something like CHF is not just from bullet point lists in a book. You actually goddam saw it, helped diagnose it, and treated it. You remember it more than you'd ever like. People say "But, oh my god that's so far away from when you had Biochem!" But that's bullcrap. You are still going to spend the same four days on that subject you would anyways and there's not THAT MUCH biochem on Step I.

Now, I was able to do well on some tests and I did bad upon some tests. But, I really had to freaking work for the tests I did well on. And that sucked. It really sucked. It meant no other real life than medical school. I like reading, I like being outside, and I like talking to people. But, if I wanted to real well, it was harder to do that stuff.

People in med school do well. But, I'd say 70% of the time such people are robotic specimens of the human race. They are all med school all the time and they work hard to get what they want. In many ways, you want that in your doctor. But, it just was not me.

That said, I was a mediocre student who studied just to stay alive and pass courses -- it was not a studying to UNDERSTAND the material. And, that right there is Strike 1-2-3 for Step I. You can pass the test still -- but to do really well, you have to be able to understand what is going on with the material.

Medicine is so strange like that. Memorization -- tons of it, lots of it -- can get you far enough and takes a lot of discipline to do. But, to excel, you still got to have a bit more left in the tank. I mean, you got to integrate what you're learning. You got to apply it. I have no problem doing that and it's what I'm good at -- but, ug, the memorization part destroys me. And, so, I lost out that aspect of Step I.

3. The Kaplan Q-Bank prognostication is probably accurate. I was hitting 54% for all of Q-Bank -- and I think that projects to my score.

I know you need 60% to hit the American med student average and, for the life of me, I was not able to hit it that number on Q-bank. I'd just forget stuff -- like public health minutiae when I learned something new (again, it's why you need to get to the applying stage well before that 4-6 weeks a school gives you to study for the test).

I did actually do one thing though -- I pounded some Pharm for 2-3 days before the test since I always forget that stuff and I ended up receiving "a very much above average performance" on it for the test -- higher than I was during practice. But, I did bad, really bad, in Cardio and Respiratory which I thought I knew so go figure. IT IS ALWAYS A TRADEOFF IF YOU ENTER THE STUDY PERIOD HAVING A WEAK "FUND" OF KNOWLEDGE

4. Stick to a couple books and know them well. I have a book buying disease and it killed me. Honestly, the Kaplan books/BRS Path/First Aid and Q-Bank are enough to destroy that test. You really must do Q-Bank and do it right I feel though (understand what you got wrong and take the test in sets of 50 from different subject every once in a while).

5. If you want to destroy the test -- I'm talking ENT level destroy -- be a robot. Forget knowing about the world or what's going on it. Forget trying to romance a lady and really trying to get to know her and be in a relationship that is more than sex and convenience. Forget trying to be involved in your society or school organizations. Forget trying to read for pleasure. Forget tyring to work on your public speaking. Forget trying to keep up closely with friends from undergrad. Forget all that. For most of us, who by the very definition of how the IQ scale is determined (105 average, standard deviation of 15 right?) -- our IQ is not going to allow being able to have a life and have it all in medical school.

Listen, you can still get 225ish on the test and do a lot less -- albeit more than I did. But, wow, it sucks. I did just above the bare minimum in medical school and that's still a hell of a lot. And, it still was not enough to hit the American medical student average. Whether that says more about me or the test I'm not sure. But, wow, that's the type of hard working field we've chosen.

STEP is a proxy for how hard you've worked and for how long. That's it. Nothing more. There is a reason IMG's who can barely speak get 240s on this test -- they study for half a year.

What's sad for me is that I'm really having to rethink where I have to go to residency right now because of this test. I'm more relaxed and energetic about third year than lots of my classmates. And, I know I can relate to patients better than some of the robot-studiers who surely will be going into Ortho etc. And, I really never wanted to be in any of the ADORE (Anes/derm/orthooptho/radio/ENT,ER) residencies. I wanted to do medicine or pediatrics at a good teaching hospital because I like to teach and be in such learning environments.

But, with a 207 I'm not sure where I can go or what I'll be able to do. And it's all because I thought my standardized test taking ability would save me and my subpar medical career on STEP I.

It does not -- it absolutely does not. And , I hope future readers of this rambling/cathartic/and (I hope) educative post will understand that and simply not make the same mistake I did.

Good luck on STEP I you all. I hope no one has to feel like I'm feeling after they finish it.
 
Thanks so much for the support on this thread people! I'd like to set a couple things straight.

1. Ross is not really an FMG school -- they follow the same schedule as American medical schools -- two years of pre-clinical, Step I, clinicals. Most of the kids grew up in America nonetheless. And, I find a lot of them to be from California -- which has way too few state med school spots than their state population should suggest. Most FMGs get their med degree and then study for step I -- they are fine on the clinical -- give them a microcytic anemia -- and they've freaking diagnosed AND TREATED the thing in real life. It's the English, the Psych questions, and the doctor etiquette questions that get them.

2. Mom2five -- your husband is an absolute genius. I want his portrait on the cover of JAMA next week and the subtitle to state -- "Ross med student has five kids and still gets 260 on STEP I". His brain needs to be preserved so that the future scientists of America can compare it to Einstein's brain. Everyone should know his name and what he looks like. I want Paula Zahn to interview him tomorrow and Today show appearances to follow.

See, either he is freaking smart as people have said -- and, I'll admit if your IQ is 150 and you got a photographic memory -- you can probably have a life and destroy STEP I. But, there are only so few people like that in the world. My post was for the rest of us -- who have to make do with our mediocrity that sprinkled by a few brighter moments. For us -- it's a tradeoff -- studies + not so much life or more life and mediocre grades.

If your husband is like the rest of us -- I'd like him to name the favorite movies of each kids. I'd like him to name all their grade school teachers. I'd like to know how many he taught to ride a bike. I'd like him to know what dreams you had and didn't achieve or what dreams you had and did achieve. See, I want to be a father/husband who knows all that stuff and does all that stuff. If your husband did all that for five children while studying on a Caribbean island -- well, god bless him. He's amazing. But, if he's not ridiculously intelligent -- I can guarantee you did most of the upbringing. I'm sure he is a great guy -- but if he got a 260 on STEP I -- he might have been a PA or a scientist or something medical beforehand. Or, he studied smart and well for two years of medical school while sacrificing family time -- which is NOT BAD -- he's only trying to provide for you guys in the way he knows how.

3. Bigfrank might get great STEP I scores but his reasoning on this thread shows why he's still an idiot.

Bigfrank -- rationalization as a defense mechanism -- would mean I did something like "It's ok I got a 207. At least I lack cancer and my family loves me. A test is not the most important thing in the world." You see, I'm rationalizing what it really is. (I understand that, you, someone who entire self worth rides off this stuff might not be able to think like that.....but oh well.)

You see -- bigfrank -- learns the world through "Bullet lists". Under his bullet list for defense mechanisms -- you saw a lot of reasoning in my post and tried to defeat the logic by stating I was in the defensive mode of rationalization -- namely, because other "defense mechanisms" under the bullet were not going to fit -- denial, acceptance, anger, etc.

Bigfrank knows his bullets real well but since life is not a multiple choice test he was not able to be correct here. SORRY. And, that's another negative consequence to STEP I success. People like bigfrank think that's a REAL WAY to think. Yikes.

What I was doing was simply trying to explain why I got a low score despite being a good test taker and never wanting people to believe "riding the pass line" for the first two years of medical school and cranking it up later is enough to do well on STEP I. Later, I went into the consequences of what it takes for the normal among to do well on STEP I. That's it.

4. Success on STEP I begins in Week I of medical school and requires integrating your material, applying it, and understanding to know -- not memorize. After just knowing everything -- no small task -- it means asking "Why?". It's a big, huge task and I credit very much people amongst us who do well on it. It's not a bad proxy at all for how good of a doctor you're going to be. It's just that medicine is such a freaking competitive field and I hate that it rewards the Bigfranks among us more than some of the realistic posters defending me on this thread.
 
The OP went something like this:

"It's OK that I didn't do so well on Step One because it's not like every other standardized test. Also, I was doomed from the start because I didn't study that hard my first two years I would also like to add that if you scored higher than I did, then you're a robot with no social life, or life period, for that matter outside of med school. While you all may have gotten the higher score, that automatically means you don't know how to talk to patients effectively. And by the way, it's my medical school's fault that I didn't learn this stuff because it killed my joy for learning."

No rationalization there dude.

It's my sincere hope that you put forth the effort in rotations and step 2 that you put into your great american novel there. If that's the case, your step one score will be nothing but an unpleasant memory.
 
Um, that's still not rationalization -- it's an explanation. Explanations can be wrong. Rationalizations -- well, they rationalize.

At any rate, that's not what I said. People at my school do fine on STEP I. But, I'm very sure there's a reason why average scores at seemingly comparable schools can deviate so much -- it's in the curriculum -- a curriculum that I resigned/acted towards passing.

This thread has taught me one thing. You can't fault the STEP I destroyers for anything (except a couple of cool ones). All I'm saying is that a good score on STEP I takes hard work from the beginning of med school and that some med schools can help the process -- some can hurt it. There really are no bad med schools -- just bad med students -- of which I was one.

But, to admit there's no tradeoff -- yikes. That's just blind. For me to have worked harder would have meant I would have been more tired for third year and grown less as a person when it came to things not medically related.

It would be nice if we were in a field that embraced life during its education instead of making you feel it was something that can get in the way of success.

Defense mechanism or not -- I'll stand by my advice.
 
Discobolus said:
This thread is proof that many people are lifeless robots. Get out and watch some movies. Someone quotes Bladerunner, what many consider the greatest sci-fi movie ever, and no one even acts like they get it!

Ha! What would a lifeless robot want with movies?? I thought I'd go oil my hinges, defragment my hard drive and recite the crainal nerves 25 times and then get back over here to review diabetes before my rotation starts tomorrow. (sadly, I actually AM reviewing DM for my rotation tomorrow...)
 
fang said:
Why is it anytime someone has a less-than-stellar USMLE score, they say something like "I may not have a great test score, but at least I'm not a robot like you people".

Guess what? I scored well on step 1 AND last time I checked I'm not a robot!!

Dammit fang, big frank, idiq1 etc ...are as thickheaded as GW Bush--- why do you insist on seeing the world in black and white???

For once big frank I can honestly say you need to go back and review First Aid... self reflection and a honest review of one's weakness is NOT rationalization. The OP is not making excuses, just commenting on where things got off track. He's not saying that those who did well on Step 1 are robots, he's saying that for him to have acheived that he would have had to give up the things he enjoyed in life.

You don't have to have scored below average to relate to the OP's post, you just have to be a compassionate human being 🙄
Amen to letusbedocs for having the courage to post your thoughts on this forum.
 
He's not saying that those who did well on Step 1 are robots, he's saying that for him to have acheived that he would have had to give up the things he enjoyed in life.

5. If you want to destroy the test -- I'm talking ENT level destroy -- be a robot. Forget knowing about the world or what's going on it. Forget trying to romance a lady and really trying to get to know her and be in a relationship that is more than sex and convenience. Forget trying to be involved in your society or school organizations. Forget trying to read for pleasure. Forget tyring to work on your public speaking. Forget trying to keep up closely with friends from undergrad. Forget all that. For most of us, who by the very definition of how the IQ scale is determined (105 average, standard deviation of 15 right?) -- our IQ is not going to allow being able to have a life and have it all in medical school.

Actually, the OP seems to be implying that you do, in fact, have to be a robot. In my experience, not true. Doing well requires 1.5-2 months of hard work and dedication, if you were semi-competent w/ respect to your first 2 years. Of course, when I say that, I mean those 2 months have to be lived for the boards, and nothing else. If that's too much of a sacrifice, then so be it.
 
Again, I think this is a great thread. When I read through these threads prior to taking Step I, I was getting depressed because so many people here made it seem like they never studied or resorted to some gimic (Just know FA really well). This is the first thread in which someone who has history of testing well did not achieve the score he liked because he didn't put in the effort. This is a valuable lesson for those of you who assume you will do well because you had prior success with the MCAT and other standardized exams. Step I is an entirely different beast and you really do have to sacrafice a lot and apply a tremendous amount of self discipline to succeed. This thread should be a sticky. I wish this thread was around when I took Step I. Once again, I would like to thank letusbedocs for sharing his account with us.
 
Pompacil said:
if you were semi-competent w/ respect to your first 2 years. Of course, when I say that, I mean those 2 months have to be lived for the boards, and nothing else. If that's too much of a sacrifice, then so be it.

And you are agreeing with the OP. You are basically saying you have to be a robot for 2 months and that too assuming you were semicompetent" in basic sciences. For those who were not "semicompetent" during basic sciences, you will probably need to start reviewing much earlier like 6 months in advance.
 
novacek88 said:
And you are saying the same thing as the OP. You are basically saying you have to be a robot for 2 months...and that too after stating you did well in basic sciences. For those who didn't do "decent" your first two years, you will probably need to start reviewing earlier like 6 months.


Maintaining that intensity for 2 months vs 2 years is totally different. I did the former. The OP implies you must do the latter. And I wouldn't say I did "decent" my first two years. I was straight satisfactory, never honored a class. Translated to numbers, I think I was around 80. That's not that stellar, in my opinion.
 
Pompacil said:
Maintaining that intensity for 2 months vs 2 years is totally different. I did the former. The OP implies you must do the latter. And I wouldn't say I did "decent" my first two years. I was straight satisfactory, never honored a class. Translated to numbers, I think I was around 80. That's not that stellar, in my opinion.

And you would disagree with that notion. Obviously the OP is resorting to hyperbole but most of us got that and didn't take him literally. But his point is well take and I think the OP is right. I was an above average student (88) and I still needed 4 months of near robot studying to do well on this exam. I agree that it's a test you need to begin studying for from Day one because it's more than just memorizing lists of information. You have to be able to integrate what you learned and the only way you can accomplish that is to have a firm understanding of the material. Most medical students never get to that point because they are focused on memorizing the minutae. And I don't blame them. There isn't any time for one to memorize everything and then integrate it unless you spend additional hours doing that. There are some students who make this sacrafice and thus excel on this exam. You do have to be a robot. The OP wasn't saying anything out of the ordinary.
 
Wow! this much discussion about a post saying you have to work hard to do well on step one...WTF? Of course you do, as far as being a robot I think thats going far but im sure its an example of "I exagerate to clarify". You can study hard for step one and still have a life, I don't know about all of you but for 6 weeks (plus 2 years of realy staying on top of material) I put in 10 hour days six days a week, made sure I slept about 6 hours a day...that left me 8 free hours a day and a free day a week to go out to dinner, watch a movie, spend time with my girl friend etc. 10 hours a day of HARD head in a book, cell phone off, no friends around, downing coffee, not f-ing around studying is hard work but it doesnt preclude you from having a life. I don't think of it as robot like, I worked harder when I delivered beer, its focus and hard work, but not insane by any means.

To mom-of-five...What the hell? Let your husband type up his study plan or tell us about his study methods, piping up about his 260 for apparently no reason what-so-ever is lame, get a life of your own, go torment kids on the playground with stories of how your 7 yo dunks allready and he never held a basketball till last month...everybody will be super impressed because it will help them too....uh...ummmmm...thats right it won't help at all.
 
dynx said:
Wow! this much discussion about a post saying you have to work hard to do well on step one...WTF? Of course you do, as far as being a robot I think thats going far but im sure its an example of "I exagerate to clarify". You can study hard for step one and still have a life, I don't know about all of you but for 6 weeks (plus 2 years of realy staying on top of material) I put in 10 hour days six days a week, made sure I slept about 6 hours a day...that left me 8 free hours a day and a free day a week to go out to dinner, watch a movie, spend time with my girl friend etc. 10 hours a day of HARD head in a book, cell phone off, no friends around, downing coffee, not f-ing around studying is hard work but it doesnt preclude you from having a life. I don't think of it as robot like, I worked harder when I delivered beer, its focus and hard work, but not insane by any means.

To mom-of-five...What the hell? Let your husband type up his study plan or tell us about his study methods, piping up about his 260 for apparently no reason what-so-ever is lame, get a life of your own, go torment kids on the playground with stories of how your 7 yo dunks allready and he never held a basketball till last month...everybody will be super impressed because it will help them too....uh...ummmmm...thats right it won't help at all.

I absolutely agree. I've done harder things in life than study for 10 hours/day for 5 weeks. What is the big deal. Imagine a regular 8 hour job with an hour commute each way. Hmm... I think I would rather read for 10 hours.
 
dynx said:
To mom-of-five...What the hell? Let your husband type up his study plan or tell us about his study methods, piping up about his 260 for apparently no reason what-so-ever is lame, get a life of your own, go torment kids on the playground with stories of how your 7 yo dunks allready and he never held a basketball till last month...everybody will be super impressed because it will help them too....uh...ummmmm...thats right it won't help at all.
hahahaha I was thinking the same thing. if you have that much time to spend in the SDN USMLE forum and your HUSBAND is the one in med school, pick up a hobby while you're still a young dog.
 
And so it goes on SDN:

Those that score >>250 memorize from "bullets," are "robots," and have "no interpersonal skills."

Those that score <<220 are "awesome future physicians," have a "wild social life," and are the "real winners."

Does everyone feel better now!!!

:laugh:
 
Those that score >>250 study are slackers who study efficiently, have a lot of sex, tend to small children and engage in extracurricular activities that enable them downtime to recharge their batteries.

Those that score <<<220 are inefficient and study too much for their own good.

And so goes the Gunner mantra on SDN.....Yes we get it. You don't study a lot but just "efficiently"....yup

Next thing you know, we are going to have a neurosurgeon tell everyone he doesn't work a lot but just efficiently and that it's a myth neurosurgeons work hard
 
Lastly, although we are ganging up on Big Frank in this forum, I am a fan of his. He has shared his strategy in depth although I think he underestimates his intellectual abilities. Still most people who get his score will not share their strategy. So I have to keep it real and be fair about this. It's unfair to really to bash a guy who has sought to help people on this forum. I disagree with him on his opinion regarding this thread but he is a good guy who I enjoy reading.
 
To the OP...all I want to say is that I'm sorry I let myself get dragged into this...my first post stated that I thought your post would help many people and I think it will. I only wanted to congratulate you on finding the balance in your life and passing the darn test. Really that was my intent and I let others get me off track. Again, congratulations and I hope you continue to find the balance in life you desire.
 
Mom2five said:
To the OP...all I want to say is that I'm sorry I let myself get dragged into this...my first post stated that I thought your post would help many people and I think it will. I only wanted to congratulate you on finding the balance in your life and passing the darn test. Really that was my intent and I let others get me off track. Again, congratulations and I hope you continue to find the balance in life you desire.

Mom

I owe you an apology as well. I didn't mean to attack you but I just have issues when I get the feeling anyone is not being completely earnest about an issue. But it looks like your husband is really intelligent and he deserved his grades. If he has time, tell him to post his strategy here. Even though he is probably a genius, I'm sure his advice would benefit others in some manner.
 
I am sorry to the OP. Didn't mean to come off rude; clearly I did. Best wishes!!!
 
Whats funny is seeing what the board becomes in the months of May (intense anxiety), June (hangover, consistent drunkenness), July (greater anxiety), August (rationalization, arrogance, humiliation).



Lets just say that I am forever stuck in the second part of June.
 
I'll just say it. I don't think Mom2Five's husband got a 260. Her story doesn't hold up. I think she was being argumentative and just threw out that number. And why does a housewife spend so much time on SDN? Why would she be concerned with this forum? And isn't it funny how someone who isn't in medicine knows so much about the process? I know several wives of medical studentthat wouldn't know what a Step I score is let alone a number. In short she is FOS
 
daelroy said:
I'll just say it. I don't think Mom2Five's husband got a 260. Her story doesn't hold up. I think she was being argumentative and just threw out that number. And why does a housewife spend so much time on SDN? Why would she be concerned with this forum? And isn't it funny how someone who isn't in medicine knows so much about the process? I know several wives of medical studentthat wouldn't know what a Step I score is let alone a number. In short she is FOS

Agreed, there is no way....In fact, Mom2Five is a subpar MEDICAL STUDENT disguised as a wife of a medical student.

Different strokes for different folks.
 
I know nobody cares again I want to say that I sorry for getting prideful about husband's score.

And again I know you don't care but I come on SDN cause for some strange reason it brings me some stress relief to hear about others struggles and victories thru this crazy process. My husband has very little self-confidence and even though he has performed well, he doubts his abilities on a daily basis. When we were in Dominica at Ross I soooo enjoyed talking to other students and significant others and I miss that. It helps to know that others are going thru the same things. The stress of living on loans with 5 kids and having to give husband a pep talk EVERY DAY that "he can do it" is emotionally draining. I'm sorry it offends people that I dare post here. It was about me. Once the house is clean, laudry done, kids fed, etc. I like to get on the internet. We can't go anywhere, we have 1 car which hubby takes everyday. I read, I'm trying to learn Spanish, watch an occasional movie, go to the gym, keep up with family and friends, blah blah.

I wish more people posted in the spouse section of SDN then I guess I could get out of the other forums. Hardly no one posts there. And about me, I'd be everyone's cheerleader. I am not competitive...I want everyone to do well. Sometimes I let pride get in my way because husband was rejected by U.S. school and so yeah I sometimes want to shout it from the rooftops that he is doing well. But is he? His step score has seemed to bring him little comfort and I thought that at this stage he would finally believe in himself. I don't know why I'm rambling...someone will just say something mean... I have a life and for now I just want to chill. I've been very busy having babies, nursing, I took a mission's trip to India and France, we've lived in a foreign country, moved across the U.S., taking college classes (I'm finally 5 classes away from my degree!), I have my Scuba certification...I'm just plain tired. So I need a few months to veg...don't see why people have to say I'm a liar, have no life or dreams... Maybe, I am unusual. I just thought that spouses would want to understand this process. I am not interested in Medicine at all from my point of view (I'm a history major) but I want to know all I can so I can understand how to help my husband. Another thing when you are a Ross student you don't have an advisor you can meet with you are pretty much on your own after getting back to the U.S. I've learned some good stuff on SDN. I pass any gems onto friends. If I have come across as snotty or mean I apologize, really I'm just hurting and don't even know how to encourage my husband any more. Well, that's it...
 
Mom2five said:
I know nobody cares again I want to say that I sorry for getting prideful about husband's score.

And again I know you don't care but I come on SDN cause for some strange reason it brings me some stress relief to hear about others struggles and victories thru this crazy process. My husband has very little self-confidence and even though he has performed well, he doubts his abilities on a daily basis. When we were in Dominica at Ross I soooo enjoyed talking to other students and significant others and I miss that. It helps to know that others are going thru the same things. The stress of living on loans with 5 kids and having to give husband a pep talk EVERY DAY that "he can do it" is emotionally draining. I'm sorry it offends people that I dare post here. It was about me. Once the house is clean, laudry done, kids fed, etc. I like to get on the internet. We can't go anywhere, we have 1 car which hubby takes everyday. I read, I'm trying to learn Spanish, watch an occasional movie, go to the gym, keep up with family and friends, blah blah.

I wish more people posted in the spouse section of SDN then I guess I could get out of the other forums. Hardly no one posts there. And about me, I'd be everyone's cheerleader. I am not competitive...I want everyone to do well. Sometimes I let pride get in my way because husband was rejected by U.S. school and so yeah I sometimes want to shout it from the rooftops that he is doing well. But is he? His step score has seemed to bring him little comfort and I thought that at this stage he would finally believe in himself. I don't know why I'm rambling...someone will just say something mean... I have a life and for now I just want to chill. I've been very busy having babies, nursing, I took a mission's trip to India and France, we've lived in a foreign country, moved across the U.S., taking college classes (I'm finally 5 classes away from my degree!), I have my Scuba certification...I'm just plain tired. So I need a few months to veg...don't see why people have to say I'm a liar, have no life or dreams... Maybe, I am unusual. I just thought that spouses would want to understand this process. I am not interested in Medicine at all from my point of view (I'm a history major) but I want to know all I can so I can understand how to help my husband. Another thing when you are a Ross student you don't have an advisor you can meet with you are pretty much on your own after getting back to the U.S. I've learned some good stuff on SDN. I pass any gems onto friends. If I have come across as snotty or mean I apologize, really I'm just hurting and don't even know how to encourage my husband any more. Well, that's it...
With all due respect, where are your husbands self-doubt issues stemming from? If he truly received a 260( and for what it is worth, I believe he did), he undoubtedly has the smarts, irrespective of where his diploma is from. I imagine that as a husband and father he has to have pretty decent communication skills ( kind of hard to meet a woman otherwise). Med. school is emotionally/psychologically taxing sure, but as far as having what it takes, I believe he has demonstrated that quite clearly. Finally, you are welcome to post wherever you want. Your posts are not inflammatory, hostile or insulting.There are always certain individuals who call bluff on step scores, even after the score report is attached in a file on sdn for all to see.Don't let them get to you. After all, you come here for stress RELIEF.Being a Rossie myself, I commiserate with you on the stress of the Ross bureaucracy. The hardest part of med. school for me is dealing with the damn NJ office/ whole miami experience. Studying is a welcome relief from trying to negotiate my 3rd/4th year setup.Peace.
 
Some more wrap up for the thread -- and, yes, it's funny that pg. 4 is becoming the hugs/kisses/it's ok page.

1. Yes, there was definitely an element of me trying to come up with my own shortcoming here. I know I'm able to do well on standardized tests. I didn't on STEP I. That's the problem. I just wanted to warn future readers not to think like I did. But, like I said, in some classes I'd destroy the class average on a test. In other classes, I'd fall well below -- mostly dependent on effort. Step I is the same way.

2. It does not require being a robotic asocial freak from Day I of medical school to do well on STEP I. To do well at my nit-picky non P/F school AND study enough to integrate for STEP I -- you do have to like it. But, it's not required. In essence, I felt my school allowed for no personal growth or public involvement and doing well on STEP I and in school grades.

Schools that are P/F for the preclinical years have got it right. It's just hard to change the PhDs and force them to teach the boards and force them away from the minutiae. (You guys have to understand that clinical exposure in your pre-clinicals is a very late 20th century things. Before, it was just thought: The Phds had you for two years; the MDs had you for the rest. As some older MDs about what they STEP I was like -- it was pure science facts/not too clinical. It was a different world indeed.

I know UVA (not my school), at least in their anatomy class, has a P/F system and passing is 60. WOW. I would have loved that. We had a passing grade of 70, a High pass of 80 and Honoring required a 90 (transparent ABC system, I know). I spent so much time in anatomy memorizing stupid details that I quickly forgot. I would have loved to hug about 65% of what the PhDs threw to the point of knowing upper extremity injuries and neuroanatomy cold (STEP I favorites) and seeing how they play into a clinical picture (syringomyelia for example). It being an early class for me, I wanted to Honor the course, tried to memorize Big Moore and did ok in the class but lost out on the picture. Moreover, it was all an experience I wanted to forget -- not embrace. When it came time for STEP I -- I was like is ulnar pinky area or thumb? -- and, a baseline like that, despite a ridiculous effort that I threw in that last month and a half is what leads to a low score.)

And, like I alluded to before -- some of the top schools that delay STEP I past third year probably have it even more right. You are using the drugs tested for third year and you are diagnosing and treating the commonly tested diseases.

3. Mom2five -- sorry if I came off hard upon you too. Your husband's score is very good and it seems like your family is engaged in helping out poor people around the world. If your husband does not find time for your family, he'll undoubtedly get it if he can get into a "lifestyle" specialty. At five kids and where college tuition is nowadays, all the more power to him.

4. Thanks again for people who liked this thread. It really means a lot to me that people saw something they could relate to versus the other extreme on SDN where you feel like if you lack didn't get a 250 on STEP I; have 4-5 articles published (no less than half in Nature); and were not AOA -- you're not worthy of being a doctor.

5. Finally, bigfrank, if Novacek says you're not so bad. I'll take his word for it. You seemed to have helped more people on this board than I ever could so good luck to you.

I'm not sure I'll post on this wild baby again but I might bump it up around STEP I time next year.

Thanks all.
 
bulletproof said:
With all due respect, where are your husbands self-doubt issues stemming from? If he truly received a 260( and for what it is worth, I believe he did), he undoubtedly has the smarts, irrespective of where his diploma is from. I imagine that as a husband and father he has to have pretty decent communication skills ( kind of hard to meet a woman otherwise). Med. school is emotionally/psychologically taxing sure, but as far as having what it takes, I believe he has demonstrated that quite clearly. Finally, you are welcome to post wherever you want. Your posts are not inflammatory, hostile or insulting.There are always certain individuals who call bluff on step scores, even after the score report is attached in a file on sdn for all to see.Don't let them get to you. After all, you come here for stress RELIEF.Being a Rossie myself, I commiserate with you on the stress of the Ross bureaucracy. The hardest part of med. school for me is dealing with the damn NJ office/ whole miami experience. Studying is a welcome relief from trying to negotiate my 3rd/4th year setup.Peace.

I wish I knew really I do...every test in basic science he would freak out and he always did well. It's not any kind of fake humbleness or anything...it is fear. Myself and his family all know he's talented so we do our best to support him. He's always been anxious when his public speaking was being graded. He's had many hosptial jobs and interacted with patients fine, but I guess he was trained very specifically and so felt comfortable. He doesn't really complain to me but I make him talk it out when he looks terrible. Thanks for being kind and best luck to you. We will make it...I'll make sure of it!
 
"And, like I alluded to before -- some of the top schools that delay STEP I past third year probably have it even more right. You are using the drugs tested for third year and you are diagnosing and treating the commonly tested diseases."

You're second novel I could totally get behind excpet for that statement.

In general, I don't think this would be a good idea just because during roations you have so little free time to study for anything let alone one of the biggest tests you'll ever take. Can you imagine taking Step One right after finishing surgery? Then taking Step 2 less than a year later as the cherry on top? I'd kill myself personally.

This is just my experieince, but the best thing about taking the test right before rotations was that it shored up my knowledge basis and improve my ability to form a ddx and plan.

Sorry to break up kissy time. 🙁
 
Mom2five said:
I know nobody cares again I want to say that I sorry for getting prideful about husband's score.

And again I know you don't care but I come on SDN cause for some strange reason it brings me some stress relief to hear about others struggles and victories thru this crazy process. My husband has very little self-confidence and even though he has performed well, he doubts his abilities on a daily basis. When we were in Dominica at Ross I soooo enjoyed talking to other students and significant others and I miss that. It helps to know that others are going thru the same things. The stress of living on loans with 5 kids and having to give husband a pep talk EVERY DAY that "he can do it" is emotionally draining. I'm sorry it offends people that I dare post here. It was about me. Once the house is clean, laudry done, kids fed, etc. I like to get on the internet. We can't go anywhere, we have 1 car which hubby takes everyday. I read, I'm trying to learn Spanish, watch an occasional movie, go to the gym, keep up with family and friends, blah blah.

I wish more people posted in the spouse section of SDN then I guess I could get out of the other forums. Hardly no one posts there. And about me, I'd be everyone's cheerleader. I am not competitive...I want everyone to do well. Sometimes I let pride get in my way because husband was rejected by U.S. school and so yeah I sometimes want to shout it from the rooftops that he is doing well. But is he? His step score has seemed to bring him little comfort and I thought that at this stage he would finally believe in himself. I don't know why I'm rambling...someone will just say something mean... I have a life and for now I just want to chill. I've been very busy having babies, nursing, I took a mission's trip to India and France, we've lived in a foreign country, moved across the U.S., taking college classes (I'm finally 5 classes away from my degree!), I have my Scuba certification...I'm just plain tired. So I need a few months to veg...don't see why people have to say I'm a liar, have no life or dreams... Maybe, I am unusual. I just thought that spouses would want to understand this process. I am not interested in Medicine at all from my point of view (I'm a history major) but I want to know all I can so I can understand how to help my husband. Another thing when you are a Ross student you don't have an advisor you can meet with you are pretty much on your own after getting back to the U.S. I've learned some good stuff on SDN. I pass any gems onto friends. If I have come across as snotty or mean I apologize, really I'm just hurting and don't even know how to encourage my husband any more. Well, that's it...



Good post, very sensitive and open - for a man.
 
daelroy said:
I'll just say it. I don't think Mom2Five's husband got a 260. Her story doesn't hold up. I think she was being argumentative and just threw out that number. And why does a housewife spend so much time on SDN? Why would she be concerned with this forum? And isn't it funny how someone who isn't in medicine knows so much about the process? I know several wives of medical studentthat wouldn't know what a Step I score is let alone a number. In short she is FOS

Show some respect and quit being an a$$. I believe her. She is not just a wife but she is the wife of a Ross student. Do you realize how much sacrafice that requires for one to move to a place that has third world living standards. She is surrounded by medical students 24/7. Unlike living stateside, what is she going to do? It's not like she can have her own life. Her life is her husband's life so it's not strange that she would know his step I score or details related to medical school. I think her husband is probably a genius and she isn't aware of that, or maybe she is but she is being humble.
 
Mom2five said:
I wish I knew really I do...every test in basic science he would freak out and he always did well. It's not any kind of fake humbleness or anything...it is fear. Myself and his family all know he's talented so we do our best to support him. He's always been anxious when his public speaking was being graded. He's had many hosptial jobs and interacted with patients fine, but I guess he was trained very specifically and so felt comfortable. He doesn't really complain to me but I make him talk it out when he looks terrible. Thanks for being kind and best luck to you. We will make it...I'll make sure of it!


I really understand how your husband feels....Im sure he'll do well too...Best wishes to him and i think he is lucky to have a lady like you
 
Thank you to the kind posters...I feel much lighter today. It made me feel better to just share with "cyberfriends". I find that when you try to talk to non-medical student friends about how hard this all is they seem to just hear the word "doctor" and think "$$$" and say "but it will all be worth it". Pretty much no sympathy or understanding of what we are going thru NOW.
 
letusbedocs,
good post! you sound like you are a very together person. Don't worry you will still be able to get a good residency. work on the complete package .. (other activities, research, etc) now that you know what you know. Also, if you can be more relaxed 3rd year-- more power to you! And, don't forget about step2-- take longer to study for it than the 2-weeker crowd. and shine.

snow
oh and p.s. another piece of advice i wish I knew last year: find a mentor in the field you are going into early! and start pinning down letters of rec ... (in other words -- ask an attendign to write it as soon as you finish the rotation with them and keep it on file for the whole year ) they will gladly do it.




letusbedocs said:
I know I could have posted this link in another thread, but I just wanted to hash some things about Step I and perhaps let people learn a bit along the way about the nature of the test and what it takes to succeed over that beast.

Well, I always do well on standardized tests. Granted it's not 99th% well -- but I'm a solid 93% percenter. My SAT scores were 1480 and my MCAT scores were 33 (same score in each subject) -- I think both such scores project to about 93% or so (the SAT is a bit higher -- but you're going against the whole population there).

So, I'm not a 1590 SAT or 37 MCAT type guy who was hoping for 255 on STEP I. But, I didn't think I would do as badly as I did. Honestly, I was hoping for a 222 or so and I'd call it a day.

So, needless to say the score shocked me. But, given how I took to medical school I can't see it's too surprising. Here are some myths I feel my experience with the beast tell:

1. Your score is not going to be related to your standardized test taking abilities. As you saw, my SATs and MCATs were decent -- not great -- but decent. However, I was not able to rely upon my test taking skills for STEP I. Unfortunately, you can't really "game" the test -- like finding too many obvious wrong answers/hoping to reason ou the right answer/or even doing something like finishing your Orgo passages first.

I'm a slow, but good reader and I just barely finished each section. That might have been a mistake on STEP I. Unlike the MCAT, this test is forcing to see if you can quickly learn what is and what is not important about a given patient or disease. It's not looking at comprehension as much.

Even the NBME says that the best indicator of performance is your SHELF grades if your school does the shelf. And, I'd say that's freakily correct. I was right below average for my med school (which gets the average on STEP I) on shelf exams and that's how I did upon STEP I. I always said I'd make up for lost ground when it came to STEP I but I was not able to do so.

2. Your score is going to reflect the amount of work you put in for the first two years of medical school. For people about to take the test and have not put in too much work -- I'm sorry. But, really, you start preparing for this test from Day I of Med School. You have to start making associations (like not only what does liver cancer look like but that Hep vaccines are really a cancer preventing vaccine) and you have to start learning what is important quick -- and retain it.

I do fault most medical schools a bit for killing any desire/ability to study for STEP I effectively in this sense. Most of the classes at my American med school were so much about picky facts it was ridiculous. Most tests would not be written to emphasize the important stuff (which was in there still) but to see how much we understood super-specialized lectures. For instance, probably 80% of our tests were like thus: about 30 lectures given by 6-8 different people and each person writing about 3-4 questions per lecture they gave. Now, of their 3-4 questions I'd say about 1-2 were STEP I worthy. The rest just forced you to memorize their stupid lecture notes.

The top schools -- like Penn or NYU at least -- actually let students take STEP I after third year. I can't recommend that approach enough. The test is not entirely clinical but clinical experience does help. Moreover, you knowledge about something like CHF is not just from bullet point lists in a book. You actually goddam saw it, helped diagnose it, and treated it. You remember it more than you'd ever like. People say "But, oh my god that's so far away from when you had Biochem!" But that's bullcrap. You are still going to spend the same four days on that subject you would anyways and there's not THAT MUCH biochem on Step I.

Now, I was able to do well on some tests and I did bad upon some tests. But, I really had to freaking work for the tests I did well on. And that sucked. It really sucked. It meant no other real life than medical school. I like reading, I like being outside, and I like talking to people. But, if I wanted to real well, it was harder to do that stuff.

People in med school do well. But, I'd say 70% of the time such people are robotic specimens of the human race. They are all med school all the time and they work hard to get what they want. In many ways, you want that in your doctor. But, it just was not me.

That said, I was a mediocre student who studied just to stay alive and pass courses -- it was not a studying to UNDERSTAND the material. And, that right there is Strike 1-2-3 for Step I. You can pass the test still -- but to do really well, you have to be able to understand what is going on with the material.

Medicine is so strange like that. Memorization -- tons of it, lots of it -- can get you far enough and takes a lot of discipline to do. But, to excel, you still got to have a bit more left in the tank. I mean, you got to integrate what you're learning. You got to apply it. I have no problem doing that and it's what I'm good at -- but, ug, the memorization part destroys me. And, so, I lost out that aspect of Step I.

3. The Kaplan Q-Bank prognostication is probably accurate. I was hitting 54% for all of Q-Bank -- and I think that projects to my score.

I know you need 60% to hit the American med student average and, for the life of me, I was not able to hit it that number on Q-bank. I'd just forget stuff -- like public health minutiae when I learned something new (again, it's why you need to get to the applying stage well before that 4-6 weeks a school gives you to study for the test).

I did actually do one thing though -- I pounded some Pharm for 2-3 days before the test since I always forget that stuff and I ended up receiving "a very much above average performance" on it for the test -- higher than I was during practice. But, I did bad, really bad, in Cardio and Respiratory which I thought I knew so go figure. IT IS ALWAYS A TRADEOFF IF YOU ENTER THE STUDY PERIOD HAVING A WEAK "FUND" OF KNOWLEDGE

4. Stick to a couple books and know them well. I have a book buying disease and it killed me. Honestly, the Kaplan books/BRS Path/First Aid and Q-Bank are enough to destroy that test. You really must do Q-Bank and do it right I feel though (understand what you got wrong and take the test in sets of 50 from different subject every once in a while).

5. If you want to destroy the test -- I'm talking ENT level destroy -- be a robot. Forget knowing about the world or what's going on it. Forget trying to romance a lady and really trying to get to know her and be in a relationship that is more than sex and convenience. Forget trying to be involved in your society or school organizations. Forget trying to read for pleasure. Forget tyring to work on your public speaking. Forget trying to keep up closely with friends from undergrad. Forget all that. For most of us, who by the very definition of how the IQ scale is determined (105 average, standard deviation of 15 right?) -- our IQ is not going to allow being able to have a life and have it all in medical school.

Listen, you can still get 225ish on the test and do a lot less -- albeit more than I did. But, wow, it sucks. I did just above the bare minimum in medical school and that's still a hell of a lot. And, it still was not enough to hit the American medical student average. Whether that says more about me or the test I'm not sure. But, wow, that's the type of hard working field we've chosen.

STEP is a proxy for how hard you've worked and for how long. That's it. Nothing more. There is a reason IMG's who can barely speak get 240s on this test -- they study for half a year.

What's sad for me is that I'm really having to rethink where I have to go to residency right now because of this test. I'm more relaxed and energetic about third year than lots of my classmates. And, I know I can relate to patients better than some of the robot-studiers who surely will be going into Ortho etc. And, I really never wanted to be in any of the ADORE (Anes/derm/orthooptho/radio/ENT,ER) residencies. I wanted to do medicine or pediatrics at a good teaching hospital because I like to teach and be in such learning environments.

But, with a 207 I'm not sure where I can go or what I'll be able to do. And it's all because I thought my standardized test taking ability would save me and my subpar medical career on STEP I.

It does not -- it absolutely does not. And , I hope future readers of this rambling/cathartic/and (I hope) educative post will understand that and simply not make the same mistake I did.

Good luck on STEP I you all. I hope no one has to feel like I'm feeling after they finish it.
 
bigfrank said:
I am sorry to the OP. Didn't mean to come off rude; clearly I did. Best wishes!!!

BF, I am glad you were man enough to admit this. I was growing to respect you as a good poster around here but you really went below the belt in this thread.

To OP: Good post and best of luck! There is still light. Don't give up now.
 
Discobolus said:
This thread is proof that many people are lifeless robots. Get out and watch some movies. Someone quotes Bladerunner, what many consider the greatest sci-fi movie ever, and no one even acts like they get it!

I had been wondering if my reference was too passe or antiquated for people to remark on; thanks for validating my efforts!
 
To the OP - great post. Honest, insightful, thought-provoking. We need more posts like that on these forums (not just ones around this time of year that seem to indicate the average Step 1 score is 235-240 🙂 ).
 
To the OP: Thanks for the honest post, I definitely gained some pointers from your experience...As others mentioned, you passed comfortably and hopefully the rest of your skills/experience will help you when applying for residency. Best of luck to you moving forward- I hope your sharp insight and the rest of your application helps you land the spot of your choice for residency 🙂
 
1. Well i am an IMG, i have heard your story, i just wanna say that it is not only the amount you put into the exam that is important, it is also important to grasp as much as you can from the knolwdge you read during that time . Not every person have the same capacity to do so , and people have diffrant capablities. SO not every person getting a high USMLE marks is a robot.
2. I do not like the way you talk about IMGs. My high school certificate is from cambridge board (IGCSE/A-level). and i am sure many other IMGs out there know English too well, even better than many fellow americans out there, that i am sure that they do not need to say NPO for a 4year old. LCME or not, that dosn't make our schools worse than yours or yours better than ours. It is the USMLE that decides who is better in the end.
3. I appreciate what you are trying to convay to other people. but the truth is you are talking about your individual experience, so keep it that way and don't generalize.
 
mom2five husband was in my class. he was the smartest by a long shot. maybe the most humble, im suprised he didnt get a 270. by the way if you guys saw how good looking mom2five is...you would not be picking on her
 
chief6124 said:
mom2five husband was in my class. he was the smartest by a long shot. maybe the most humble, im suprised he didnt get a 270. by the way if you guys saw how good looking mom2five is...you would not be picking on her

Thanks for the news brief mom2f....eh....I mean "chief6124".
 
saco said:
I absolutely agree. I've done harder things in life than study for 10 hours/day for 5 weeks. What is the big deal. Imagine a regular 8 hour job with an hour commute each way. Hmm... I think I would rather read for 10 hours.

👍

50 hrs/wk for 4 yrs (Industry/Corporate America)
80 hrs/wk for 2 yrs (Grad school)

10 hrs/day for 5 weeks on your own schedule and NO boss=much less stress
 
anyone with a 1000+ post (dynx) needs some friends

if he is a he ..he gets no girls

if she is a she.... she has a bmi >40+

I USED TO BEAT KIDS LIKE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL
 
Excellent post... having not taken the exam yet, I appreciate hearing from the people who didn't get 270s by studying for 3 weeks. My school allows us to take the exam right in the middle of our first 6 rotations, sometime between Sept 1 and Dec 31st. I was wondering if anyone recommends one extreme or the other. I need to register soon and was wondering what the opinions are on taking it early or late. Thanks for the help.
 
chief6124 said:
mom2five husband was in my class. he was the smartest by a long shot. maybe the most humble, im suprised he didnt get a 270. by the way if you guys saw how good looking mom2five is...you would not be picking on her

LOL...so sweet. Hey, I've tried to be kind, honest and helpful...but I can't please everyone. Thanks for the compliment Chief. I figured out one thing that puts stress on hubby....no shelf exams. It's hard to not let family life get in the way when you don't have an immediate deadline for a test and therefore weeks can go by in his rotations and he doesn't feel like he's learned much. I wish he had shelf exams...he might think I'm crazy??
 
chief6124 said:
anyone with a 1000+ post (dynx) needs some friends

if he is a he ..he gets no girls

if she is a she.... she has a bmi >40+

I USED TO BEAT KIDS LIKE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL

Yep, that 2 post per day avg, takes up a ton of my time. Like this one here took 10 seconds between patients.

If you're bragging about how cool you were in HS still, its time to put the yearbook away and start living in the present super slick.
 
letusbedocs, i registered just so i could tell you how much i wish i could have read your story a few months earlier. i have had a nearly identical situation, but you've articulated it way better than i could have. thank you for sharing 🙂
 
Pardon me, but where can I read this thread? I want to hear more about 207. What is the two-digit score for 207? Are you one of a very few here who gets this not-high number? It looks to me like every one gets two digit score either 97 or 99. Thanks a load.

*I am wondering where could I read about some offensive mechanism in this USMLE number thing too? 😀 *

*And what if those foreign tongues can twist as good as the mutated tongues? 😱 *
 
Mom2five said:
I know nobody cares again I want to say that I sorry for getting prideful about husband's score.

And again I know you don't care but I come on SDN cause for some strange reason it brings me some stress relief to hear about others struggles and victories thru this crazy process. My husband has very little self-confidence and even though he has performed well, he doubts his abilities on a daily basis. When we were in Dominica at Ross I soooo enjoyed talking to other students and significant others and I miss that. It helps to know that others are going thru the same things. The stress of living on loans with 5 kids and having to give husband a pep talk EVERY DAY that "he can do it" is emotionally draining. I'm sorry it offends people that I dare post here. It was about me. Once the house is clean, laudry done, kids fed, etc. I like to get on the internet. We can't go anywhere, we have 1 car which hubby takes everyday. I read, I'm trying to learn Spanish, watch an occasional movie, go to the gym, keep up with family and friends, blah blah.

I wish more people posted in the spouse section of SDN then I guess I could get out of the other forums. Hardly no one posts there. And about me, I'd be everyone's cheerleader. I am not competitive...I want everyone to do well. Sometimes I let pride get in my way because husband was rejected by U.S. school and so yeah I sometimes want to shout it from the rooftops that he is doing well. But is he? His step score has seemed to bring him little comfort and I thought that at this stage he would finally believe in himself. I don't know why I'm rambling...someone will just say something mean... I have a life and for now I just want to chill. I've been very busy having babies, nursing, I took a mission's trip to India and France, we've lived in a foreign country, moved across the U.S., taking college classes (I'm finally 5 classes away from my degree!), I have my Scuba certification...I'm just plain tired. So I need a few months to veg...don't see why people have to say I'm a liar, have no life or dreams... Maybe, I am unusual. I just thought that spouses would want to understand this process. I am not interested in Medicine at all from my point of view (I'm a history major) but I want to know all I can so I can understand how to help my husband. Another thing when you are a Ross student you don't have an advisor you can meet with you are pretty much on your own after getting back to the U.S. I've learned some good stuff on SDN. I pass any gems onto friends. If I have come across as snotty or mean I apologize, really I'm just hurting and don't even know how to encourage my husband any more. Well, that's it...

Mom your awesome, youve given me and other people good advice before. Dont worry about daelroy, everyone knows hes an ass. 👍
 
Top