My wife just moved out

[MrBonita]

So basically my wife has been living in a separate room and locking the door when I get home. She told me it is best since I have to work and could bring home the virus. I came home yesterday and noticed no sound coming out of my wife's room. I recently had a coworker come down with a case of the corona virus at my work. I did not tell my wife in order to make sure she would not be scared. However, she somehow found out and moved to her parents house without even letting me know. She is upset and won't pick up the phone because I held back the information. Anyone else going through relationship problems with this corona problem?

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[M0df]

Was she locking the door before the pandemic began?

On a serious note, people are very sensitive when this type of information is withheld. We met some friends who had potential exposure when it all started and they didn't disclose right away that they just came back from a high risk area. There was some tension.

 

[firework]

Is COVID-19 sexually transmitting?

On a serious note, looks like your wife suspect you have a relationship with coronavirus.

 

[Pronounce Doxazosin]

So basically my wife has been living in a separate room and locking the door when I get home. She told me it is best since I have to work and could bring home the virus. I came home yesterday and noticed no sound coming out of my wife's room. I recently had a coworker come down with a case of the corona virus at my work. I did not tell my wife in order to make sure she would not be scared. However, she somehow found out and moved to her parents house without even letting me know. She is upset and won't pick up the phone because I held back the information. Anyone else going through relationship problems with this corona problem?

If your coworker tested positive, shouldn’t you be quarantining yourself?

 

[VictorOfHungerGames]

So basically my wife has been living in a separate room and locking the door when I get home. She told me it is best since I have to work and could bring home the virus. I came home yesterday and noticed no sound coming out of my wife's room. I recently had a coworker come down with a case of the corona virus at my work. I did not tell my wife in order to make sure she would not be scared. However, she somehow found out and moved to her parents house without even letting me know. She is upset and won't pick up the phone because I held back the information. Anyone else going through relationship problems with this corona problem?

Wtf? Is she hypochondriac or something? Even if she gets it what are the chances she will even get sick or die? Wow. I would not put up with that. I mean, hell if my wife get it then she get it. I aint gonna run from her. Im sure i promised to love her even in sickness. This is making me angry

 

[lane one]

If your coworker tested positive, shouldn’t you be quarantining yourself?

Not if you're an essential worker. Initially this was the case, but CDC updated guidance allowing essential workers who are exposed to continue to work as long as they self monitor.

 

[Mad Jack]

Wtf? Is she hypochondriac or something? Even if she gets it what are the chances she will even get sick or die? Wow. I would not put up with that. I mean, hell if my wife get it then she get it. I aint gonna run from her. Im sure i promised to love her even in sickness. This is making me angry

If any of my coworkers came down with it or I had a known exposure I would demand my wife go live with her parents so I could keep her safe because I'm not letting her get sick with this. The chances may be low but not a day passes that I don't see another nurse, doctor, or first respondent's obituary in my Facebook feed. Most of them are pretty damn young, 30s and 40s, a couple in their 20s. Do not mess with the 19 if you can help it

 

[Pronounce Doxazosin]

Not if you're an essential worker. Initially this was the case, but CDC updated guidance allowing essential workers who are exposed to continue to work as long as they self monitor.

He probably should still quarantine when not at work

 

[aqb]

Sounds like she has a side sugar daddy and this was the perfect opportunity


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[VictorOfHungerGames]

If any of my coworkers came down with it or I had a known exposure I would demand my wife go live with her parents so I could keep her safe because I'm not letting her get sick with this. The chances may be low but not a day passes that I don't see another nurse, doctor, or first respondent's obituary in my Facebook feed. Most of them are pretty damn young, 30s and 40s, a couple in their 20s. Do not mess with the 19 if you can help it

36,000 deaths so far. Im reading a ton of reports on that number being skewed due to false reporting. I dont know what to make of that.

Locally, so many of my patients are complaining about how stupid this quarantine is when no one is actually that sick or enough cases reported to be concerned. Some are reopening businesses. I dont know man, at least where im at, no one cares for this and is ready to move on. Lol. We had a few cases i know of, they recovered within a few days. A local judge was tested positive, his wife and kids were negative! Lol after that people are just ignoring the news and the government.

 

[Mad Jack]

36,000 deaths so far. Im reading a ton of reports on that number being skewed due to false reporting. I dont know what to make of that.

Locally, so many of my patients are complaining about how stupid this quarantine is when no one is actually that sick or enough cases reported to be concerned. Some are reopening businesses. I dont know man, at least where im at, no one cares for this and is ready to move on. Lol. We had a few cases i know of, they recovered within a few days. A local judge was tested positive, his wife and kids were negative! Lol after that people are just ignoring the news and the government.

The number ten cause of death in the country every year is suicide at 47,000 deaths per year. NYC normally has 250 deaths per day FROM ALL CAUSES. They have had 500-600+deaths per day for days, with COVID effectively dwarfing death from all other causes and tripling to quadrupling the death rate in the city. If you don't think this is a big deal, you are an idiot.

 

[JustFillIt]

My problem has been exactly the opposite. All this working at home is going to bring baby #6 if I’m not careful..

Sorry Bonita....

 

[VictorOfHungerGames]

The number ten cause of death in the country every year is suicide at 47,000 deaths per year. NYC normally has 250 deaths per day FROM ALL CAUSES. They have had 500-600+deaths per day for days, with COVID effectively dwarfing death from all other causes and tripling to quadrupling the death rate in the city. If you don't think this is a big deal, you are an idiot.

No, i dont think this is a big deal. I guess that makes me an idiot but if youre one of those doctors that panicked and prescribed a $#it load of plaquenil for yourself and your patients, that would make you a douche bag.

I dont know about new york since i dont live there so i have no opinion on that but here in texas, we good. There are some real idiots here lol.

 

[Mad Jack]

No, i dont think this is a big deal. I guess that makes me an idiot but if youre one of those doctors that panicked and prescribed a $#it load of plaquenil for yourself and your patients, that would make you a douche bag.

I dont know about new york since i dont live there so i have no opinion on that but here in texas, we good. There are some real idiots here lol.

I didn't prescribe anything for COVID because nothing works and I actually learned epidemiology and evidence-based medical practice. The best data we have is from Iceland, where they tested 10% of the nation's population by region and regardless of health and came up with around a 0.46% death rate. Multiplied over the entire USA, at the bare minimum herd immunity number of 60%, and neglecting that about half of those tested in Iceland are still sick and more deaths could occur, that gives us just shy of 1,000,000 Americans dead if this is allowed to run its course AND it doesn't overwhelm the health system. That would make COVID the #1 cause of death on America, ahead of cancer, heart disease, literally anything else. At the pace we have now, COVID will be a top 10 killer of Americans and will likely strike into the top 3. Do not screw with COVID. If you want me to start posting the obituaries of our fallen colleagues for emphasis I will.

 

[smilePRN]

If you are an essential worker that is exposed, you are under "mandatory quarantine" which apparently means you're supposed to continue to report to work lol. You have to wear a mask at all times, you are not allowed to go anywhere except for work (i.e. you can't grocery shopping) and you are supposed to limit your contact with people including household members (I was told to even use a different bathroom) for 14 days. Your county DOH then calls you once a day to check up on you, make sure you're asymptomatic and make sure you have groceries.

TBH I would be upset if someone I lived with was exposed and didn't tell me.

 

[VictorOfHungerGames]

I didn't prescribe anything for COVID because nothing works and I actually learned epidemiology and evidence-based medical practice. The best data we have is from Iceland, where they tested 10% of the nation's population by region and regardless of health and came up with around a 0.46% death rate. Multiplied over the entire USA, at the bare minimum herd immunity number of 60%, and neglecting that about half of those tested in Iceland are still sick and more deaths could occur, that gives us just shy of 1,000,000 Americans dead if this is allowed to run its course AND it doesn't overwhelm the health system. That would make COVID the #1 cause of death on America, ahead of cancer, heart disease, literally anything else. At the pace we have now, COVID will be a top 10 killer of Americans and will likely strike into the top 3. Do not screw with COVID. If you want me to start posting the obituaries of our fallen colleagues for emphasis I will.

No need. I dont doubt that people have died but i still dont think this is serious enough to purposely crash the economy. Again, besides new york and some other few hot spots, is this a national emergency? In texas, not much is happening.

I feel like i am derailing this post so ill stop. If you have something to tell me, DM me here.

 

[Mad Jack]

No need. I dont doubt that people have died but i still dont think this is serious enough to purposely crash the economy. Again, besides new york and some other few hot spots, is this a national emergency? In texas, not much is happening.

I feel like i am derailing this post so ill stop. If you have something to tell me, DM me here.

We're talking about COVID and whether OP's wife made the right decision. Given everything I have seen, she has. COVID is no damn joke. It will likely kill more Americans than any other causes save for cancer and heart disease this year. If you think COVID is no big deal then you also believe accidents, chronic respiratory illness, stroke, Alzheimers, diabetes, influenza, pneumonia, chronic kidney disease, and suicide are not big deals and should just be written off and go untreated, because they all kill less than COVID is tracking to. In a worst case scenario, COVID will kill around a million people, eclipsing literally all other causes of death. Will it still be no big deal then?

 

[VictorOfHungerGames]

We're talking about COVID and whether OP's wife made the right decision. Given everything I have seen, she has. COVID is no damn joke. It will likely kill more Americans than any other causes save for cancer and heart disease this year. If you think COVID is no big deal then you also believe accidents, chronic respiratory illness, stroke, Alzheimers, diabetes, influenza, pneumonia, chronic kidney disease, and suicide are not big deals and should just be written off and go untreated, because they all kill less than COVID is tracking to. In a worst case scenario, COVID will kill around a million people, eclipsing literally all other causes of death. Will it still be no big deal then?

Except for new york and new jersey, numbers are not concerning and you sound way more concerned than you should. All those other diseases mentioned are happening throughout the country. If you take out new york and new jersey, covid19 numbers are mildly concerning at best.

West cost homelessness has wildly skewed the national homelessness, does that mean that every city in the nation has the same problem? Sure if you live in concentrated cities like new york or countries like china or korea where there is dense population, respiratory disease will spread faster and may have more severe cases. Why are we still shutting down the entire country and freaking people out?

Going back to op’s post, yes, i would be concerned if my wife contracted any type of infectious disease and will try to take care of her. But thats not what happened to op, is it? just because you hear about it on your facebook page or on the news, should you freak out and leave your husband cold turkey without even discussing it with him? There were other steps she couldve taken, as mentioned by others before leaving your own damn husband and house without saying a word? Hell, if i die, ill die next to my wife.

 

[Mad Jack]

Except for new york and new jersey, numbers are not concerning and you sound way more concerned than you should. All those other diseases mentioned are happening throughout the country. If you take out new york and new jersey, covid19 numbers are mildly concerning at best.

West cost homelessness has wildly skewed the national homelessness, does that mean that every city in the nation has the same problem? Sure if you live in concentrated cities like new york or countries like china or korea where there is dense population, respiratory disease will spread faster and may have more severe cases. Why are we still shutting down the entire country and freaking people out?

Going back to op’s post, yes, i would be concerned if my wife contracted any type of infectious disease and will try to take care of her. But thats not what happened to op, is it? just because you hear about it on your facebook page or on the news, should you freak out and leave your husband cold turkey without even discussing it with him? There were other steps she couldve taken, as mentioned by others before leaving your own damn husband and house without saying a word? Hell, if i die, ill die next to my wife.

OP lied to his wife about a highly concerning and deadly disease that he had absolutely been exposed to which is highly contagious and most contagious prior to symptom onset. His wife was right to do what she did.

 

[TerryTerry]

I bet she didn`t complain about the money you were bringing in.
It`s none of my business but her behavior is definitely not normal for real wife.

 

[VictorOfHungerGames]

OP lied to his wife about a highly concerning and deadly disease that he had absolutely been exposed to which is highly contagious and most contagious prior to symptom onset. His wife was right to do what she did.

For a doctor, you sound too freaked out. God, i hope my pcp doesnt freak out like that when i get infected lol Geez, its not like they live in wuhan or new work. Calm down.

Even if op didnt tell his wife, they couldnt have talked about it first? Its not like its hiv or ebola.

Btw, texas, we will be opening up the economy in two weeks.

 

[M0df]

That is why I asked if she was locking the door before recent events. Moving out without talking to your husband is not normal. Hiding important health related information from your wife is not normal. This should probable be locked as there is a lot more to this story.

 

[BC_89]

I definitely suspect there is a lot more to the story that I'm sure is on a personal level leading up to this situation.

With the info given, I don't agree that the spouse should've left without having any type of conversation about it over the phone. However to be fair, withholding information about having a co-worker testing positive without letting her know (and getting yourself checked out) is not something to be taken lightly. It definitely is an unnecessary risk to family.

 

[DagS132]

So is MrBonita infected or not? I say he loses this war big time if he is.

 

[Wickett]

My problem has been exactly the opposite. All this working at home is going to bring baby #6 if I’m not careful..

Sorry Bonita....

Living up to your username, I see.

 

[owlegrad]

So is MrBonita infected or not? I say he loses this war big time if he is.

Thats very results oriented thinking.

I think they both lose personally. What spouse would hold back something like that? And why would someone leave without saying anything? Obviously more to the story assuming the whole thing isn’t fiction.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

My wife sleeps next to me. She ain't scurred.

 

[DagS132]

Thats very results oriented thinking.

I think they both lose personally. What spouse would hold back something like that? And why would someone leave without saying anything? Obviously more to the story assuming the whole thing isn’t fiction.

I say that because he possibly got his wife infected which she was desperately trying to avoid, so that doesn't help. To add on top of that, the wife's parents might be infected now too. I would feel pretty horrible about it if it was me but yes, more to the story.

 

[Mad Jack]

For a doctor, you sound too freaked out. God, i hope my pcp doesnt freak out like that when i get infected lol Geez, its not like they live in wuhan or new work. Calm down.

Even if op didnt tell his wife, they couldnt have talked about it first? Its not like its hiv or ebola.

Btw, texas, we will be opening up the economy in two weeks.

And in a month and a half Houston and Dallas will look more or less like NYC

I'm not "freaked out," I am a person that understands the epidemiological math behind this disease and others. Ebola isn't actually that scary, hence why I never posted on SDN about it even once. I knew that because, again, epidemiology. This isn't about fear, this is about cold, hard numbers. The economy will recover, but you can't bring back the dead, nor should you allow more people to die than necessary. Death rates actually drop during depressions and recessions in the United States, so we are looking at a very simple choice between lives and money. I'll take lives. And anyone with any sense should be doing their best to avoid exposing their loved ones if they are in a high risk occupation, especially if they have known contacts.

 

[Chrish]

My wife insists that I have to take care of our young one on my days off.

I wish she was "scared" so that I can stay in one room and catch up on movies/ novels.. I envy you!

 

[deleted480308]

Sine you’re asking for personal opinions, it was really crappy to not tell your wife. You should apologize whether it saves the relationship or not

 

[VA Hopeful Dr]

If any of my coworkers came down with it or I had a known exposure I would demand my wife go live with her parents so I could keep her safe because I'm not letting her get sick with this. The chances may be low but not a day passes that I don't see another nurse, doctor, or first respondent's obituary in my Facebook feed. Most of them are pretty damn young, 30s and 40s, a couple in their 20s. Do not mess with the 19 if you can help it

To what end?

Don't get me wrong, OP lying to his wife is not OK.

But, we are a long way away from a vaccine to this if we even get one that works. We can't stay quarantined and shut down for the next minimum one-year that is estimated to take in the best-case scenario.

The whole idea behind all the actions that have been taken to this point is just to make sure the healthcare system does not get overwhelmed. The vast majority of us are going to get this thing.

 

[deleted480308]

To what end?

Don't get me wrong, OP lying to his wife is not OK.

But, we are a long way away from a vaccine to this if we even get one that works. We can't stay quarantined and shut down for the next minimum one-year that is estimated to take in the best-case scenario.

The whole idea behind all the actions that have been taken to this point is just to make sure the healthcare system does not get overwhelmed. The vast majority of us are going to get this thing.

Agreed, the notion that we can all just literally hide at home and all be safe isn’t how this works.

 

[Mad Jack]

To what end?

Don't get me wrong, OP lying to his wife is not OK.

But, we are a long way away from a vaccine to this if we even get one that works. We can't stay quarantined and shut down for the next minimum one-year that is estimated to take in the best-case scenario.

The whole idea behind all the actions that have been taken to this point is just to make sure the healthcare system does not get overwhelmed. The vast majority of us are going to get this thing.

If you can avoid being a part of the 60-75% that get it, it's still worth doing

 

[VA Hopeful Dr]

If you can avoid being a part of the 60-75% that get it, it's still worth doing

You're assuming that's the herd immunity rate. At the moment we have no idea what it is. It could easily be more on the measles (90+%) end.

And even if its only let's say 66%, shouldn't the 1/3rd who doesn't get it be the ones at highest risk - elderly, obese with chronic conditions? Isn't that why even in places that are considering opening up soon they recommend those at high risk keep doing what we're doing currently?

I'm not saying we need to have covid parties like I had chicken pox parties growing up, but we also need to not give in to hysteria - specifically us as physicians and pharmacists.

As for why young doctors are getting sick, I seem to recall with SARS there being decent evidence that the size of the initial viral load you were exposed to matters.

 

[VictorOfHungerGames]

If you can avoid being a part of the 60-75% that get it, it's still worth doing

60-75%? In due time, wouldnt this have 100% infection rate just like the flu?

 

[Mad Jack]

You're assuming that's the herd immunity rate. At the moment we have no idea what it is. It could easily be more on the measles (90+%) end.

And even if its only let's say 66%, shouldn't the 1/3rd who doesn't get it be the ones at highest risk - elderly, obese with chronic conditions? Isn't that why even in places that are considering opening up soon they recommend those at high risk keep doing what we're doing currently?

I'm not saying we need to have covid parties like I had chicken pox parties growing up, but we also need to not give in to hysteria - specifically us as physicians and pharmacists.

As for why young doctors are getting sick, I seem to recall with SARS there being decent evidence that the size of the initial viral load you were exposed to matters.

Given that my wife has a high risk chronic health condition, I'd prefer for her and I to both minimize the chance of her (and myself honestly, since health care providers seem to be getting hit harder by COVID than the public) from being in the ground. I still go out shopping, I still order takeout, I'm hardly holed up in my housewife a crazy person. But you can damn well bet if one of my coworkers tested positive I would have my wife out of the home for two weeks to he safe.

My bet is that HCP infection severity is more due to immune system priming from prior infections leading to cytokine storm than due to viral loads on initial infection.

 

[Mad Jack]

60-75%? In due time, wouldnt this have 100% infection rate just like the flu?

There are multiple highly distinct strains of the flu. There are no sufficiently distinctive strains of COVID that multiple strains would circulate in overlapping fashion resulting in 100% or more of the population being infected over a long enough timespan, as herd immunity will likely keep this in check at around 2/3rd-3/4ths of the population infected

 

[VA Hopeful Dr]

Given that my wife has a high risk chronic health condition, I'd prefer for her and I to both minimize the chance of her (and myself honestly, since health care providers seem to be getting hit harder by COVID than the public) from being in the ground. I still go out shopping, I still order takeout, I'm hardly holed up in my housewife a crazy person. But you can damn well bet if one of my coworkers tested positive I would have my wife out of the home for two weeks to he safe.

My bet is that HCP infection severity is more due to immune system priming from prior infections leading to cytokine storm than due to viral loads on initial infection.

And as she's in a high risk group that makes sense.

I'll take that bet on why we're getting hit worse.

 

[jurassicpark]

Oh boy. I do agree with what everyone said, nothing is normal about what the OP posted.

That being said, it's fairly common place these days for my colleagues to sleep away from their loved ones now, especially if they're older or have health problems. Locking the doors as soon as you come home? Sounds extreme, but she can be worried the OP might accidentally walk into the quarantined portion of the house.

While you should never lie or withhold information from your significant other, especially if they're already this paranoid locking the door on you she MUST assume that you in the healthcare field are constantly exposed to COVID-19. My wife just assumes I'm a walking ball of COVID-19 as I see a good amount of hospitalized COVID patients a day. To move out of the house and not talk to you is absolutely not normal either. Shouldn't she at LEAST be checking up on you to make sure you are well and not exhibiting symptoms? There's more to this story I'm afraid.

 

[APN-59 rph]

There are multiple highly distinct strains of the flu. There are no sufficiently distinctive strains of COVID that multiple strains would circulate in overlapping fashion resulting in 100% or more of the population being infected over a long enough timespan, as herd immunity will likely keep this in check at around 2/3rd-3/4ths of the population infected

Yo...Mad Jack...You might have an opinion on the following totally anecdotal "impression" ( Darn I love that talk) anyway...My pals and I were having a brewski or three and some seegars to fight the virus..and I started yammering about all of the vaccines we have gotten over the years..yellow fever..typhoid..diptheria..flu...etc. But one that jumped out for all of us (for obvious reasons) was Gamma Globulin..multiple times...None of us has been nailed by this bug....Anything up with that..over....

 

[sunshinefl]

Yo...Mad Jack...You might have an opinion on the following totally anecdotal "impression" ( Darn I love that talk) anyway...My pals and I were having a brewski or three and some seegars to fight the virus..and I started yammering about all of the vaccines we have gotten over the years..yellow fever..typhoid..diptheria..flu...etc. But one that jumped out for all of us (for obvious reasons) was Gamma Globulin..multiple times...None of us has been nailed by this bug....Anything up with that..over....

....... is this supposed to be a joke ??

 

[BidingMyTime]

Is COVID-19 sexually transmitting?

Depends on what your sex involves. Best course of action is to wear a full-body condum ala Naked Gun.

 

[DagS132]

....... is this supposed to be a joke ??

Nah, this is how some pharmacists counsel patients. Its wild, I know.

 

[mentos]

Is COVID-19 sexually transmitting?

You breathe and fart during sex so yes.

 

[APN-59 rph]

....... is this supposed to be a joke ??

Druggists are such a dull crowd..I realize that most or none of you have been in a war zone and have been pumped full of Gamma Globulin multiple times..soo..here is a translation......Dear and glorious Physician...any opinion on whether Gamma Globulin would have a long term preventative action on C-19 Virus? All faux dr's please stand by...

 

[JustFillIt]

You breathe and fart during sex so yes.

Wait... you fart during sex??!! Dude! That’s straight up bucknasty!

Haha!

 

[TerryTerry]

Wait... you fart during sex??!! Dude! That’s straight up bucknasty!

Haha!

People also poop before sex.

 

[DagS132]

Druggists are such a dull crowd..I realize that most or none of you have been in a war zone and have been pumped full of Gamma Globulin multiple times..soo..here is a translation......Dear and glorious Physician...any opinion on whether Gamma Globulin would have a long term preventative action on C-19 Virus? All faux dr's please stand by...

is this some sort of joke?

 

[WVUPharm2007]

Wait... you fart during sex??!! Dude! That’s straight up bucknasty!

Haha!

No kink shaming here on SDN. Mods!