Name change for female medical students getting married

[piercj2]

Here in the Unites states wher like eighty fiver percent of our congress and senate are male and males still out earn females on average and are represented alot more at the top of all lucritive professions. A womens identiy changes with the world and a man has his identity by his will to true to ones self. Women still tend to drop out of the workforce and remain tentitive to stay at work and in work for long peiods of time while working full time. Those are the facts

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[girldrbrasil]

Here in the United states where like eighty five percent of our congress and senate are male and males still out earn females on average and are represented a lot more at the top of all lucrative professions. A women's identity changes with the world and a man has his identity by his will to true to ones self. Women still tend to drop out of the workforce and remain tentative to stay at work and in work for long periods of time while working full time. Those are the facts

?by his will to true to ones self?
OK. Whatever you say. It's fine to keep your identity. but please do something with your orthography.

 

[piercj2]

Typical female response, deflect the issue and change the subject. Women are not indepentend autounomous minded humans. Thier instincts just react to situations around them without considering why or what might happen

 

[Doctor Bagel]

Typical female response, deflect the issue and change the subject. Women are not indepentend autounomous minded humans. Thier instincts just react to situations around them without considering why or what might happen

And how are you not sexist as you stated in a previous post? You're most definitely a troll.

 

[piercj2]

No troll here, just somone stating facts. Look up information on the internet about how women drop out of the work force- interesting article called the opt out revolutions. I have seen many females myself who are independent minded career women until they all the sudden hit the real world or decide they dont want to work any more. They use the excuse that they just don;t have to, but in reality it is because they jsut hate working. I mean were there even half as many divorces or single parent families before women had careers. In my opionin women are not responisble enough to have all the freedom they have and our society is suffering in terms of not having enough effective and commited workers, familes, relationships ect. ANd I do think women live as regards of pleasing themselves- like marrying for money, throwing themselves at a guy because of a car, or just acting and living differently to get the best out of situaion if it benefits them

 

[Stephie]

No troll here, just somone stating facts. Look up information on the internet about how women drop out of the work force- interesting article called the opt out revolutions. I have seen many females myself who are independent minded career women until they all the sudden hit the real world or decide they dont want to work any more. They use the excuse that they just don;t have to, but in reality it is because they jsut hate working. I mean were there even half as many divorces or single parent families before women had careers. In my opionin women are not responisble enough to have all the freedom they have and our society is suffering in terms of not having enough effective and commited workers, familes, relationships ect. ANd I do think women live as regards of pleasing themselves- like marrying for money, throwing themselves at a guy because of a car, or just acting and living differently to get the best out of situaion if it benefits them

Let me guess, you don't have a girlfriend????

 

[piercj2]

I have a post feminist 21 century girl-freind- we hook up, we hang out, we don't really know that much about eachother and it is not going to be long term. Not uncommon, surprsingly she as just as happy with it is I am, if not happier- modesty lost

 

[OzDDS]

I think many men in our generation are just opting not to get married in the first place. Many just don't see a point any more.

 

[piercj2]

I don't think that it is mens actions or nature that has changed. SOme men want to marry some don't, I don't think that it was any different, say 70 years ago or so. However there is just more compitition between the sexes which causes people to envy eachother or just not like one another. ALso marriage is more difficult and most guys dont value a female who wants to be a breadwinner or acheiver, and just want a loving not stress-ful relationship. Women are not as feminin as they use to be, are also competitvie and not as willing to give up anything or sacrafice for thier partner. Because of these reasons more people end up in bad relationships or not in a relationship at all. In my opinion men ahve staed the same while women have changed thier nature in order to compete with or prove themselves to eachother and men. Just by womens nature, they don;t have the presence of a decicion maker, aheiver, or competitor. They still lack self identity

 

[MicroBugs]

Hey all- Just thought I'd toss in my dilemma. Got married a few months ago and have kept my maiden name so far. BUT, that's only because I couldn't figure out what to do. I have a unique first and last name. I love them becasue they're my name and have been. However it is kind of annoying that people keep asking if I'm from africa even though my name is Polish. UGH. ANyway, my husband's name is also Polish (neither are 'ski's), but it doens't sound it either. I thought about hyphenating, but that is simply ugly. I think I always wanted to take my husband's name as that's just how I felt but I really don't know. And he won't help at all with the decision. He says it's my choice and he doesn't care either way (I think he's afraid to add influence). Any thoughts?

 

[f_w]

#1

I have a unique first and last name. I love them becasue they're my name and have been.

#2

He says it's my choice and he doesn't care either way

Any thoughts?

You like your name, he doesn't care, where is the conflict ? Just keep your name. (if some elderly people address you with his last name, smile, move on and don't be a b#### about it.)

that people keep asking if I'm from africa even though my name is Polish.

Do you look like you are from africa ? (some of the poles I know are the least pigmented people I have ever met. You can put their hand on a newspaper and still read the small print).

 

[caroladybelle]

I don't think that it is mens actions or nature that has changed. SOme men want to marry some don't, I don't think that it was any different, say 70 years ago or so. However there is just more compitition between the sexes which causes people to envy eachother or just not like one another. ALso marriage is more difficult and most guys dont value a female who wants to be a breadwinner or acheiver, and just want a loving not stress-ful relationship. Women are not as feminin as they use to be, are also competitvie and not as willing to give up anything or sacrafice for thier partner. Because of these reasons more people end up in bad relationships or not in a relationship at all. In my opinion men ahve staed the same while women have changed thier nature in order to compete with or prove themselves to eachother and men. Just by womens nature, they don;t have the presence of a decicion maker, aheiver, or competitor. They still lack self identity

This has got to be the most ridiculous nonsense that I have ever seen written here.

And the grammar/spelling is among the worst.

Try passing an English class, before moving on to sociology, my friend.

 

[piercj2]

Ridiculous enough for you to prove is not true. Are divorces more common? are marrying rates down? Do women still marry men as means of support? Do women value family like they use to? Give me evidence that there are less divorce now that women try and have careers (after the 1950s), Or give me evidence that many women still do not drop out of the workforce, and disprove that thier are more single parent familes. Did all this come about before or after feminism? I thought so. From your name I can also see that you are from the south, as I am from ALabama. I will give you a couple more years before you through yourself at a guy to support you so you will not have to be alone and support yourself on your own. Google any of the subjects I listed and you will see that what I say is true in the United States. And yes, women still do marry men for many reasons, besides for who they are at heart- money, car, social status, certain social look.

 

[OzDDS]

Are divorces more common? are marrying rates down? Do women value family like they use to? Give me evidence that there are less divorce now that women try and have careers (after the 1950s), Or give me evidence that many women still do not drop out of the workforce, and disprove that thier are more single parent familes. Did all this come about before or after feminism? I thought so.

To some extent I agree with you. I don't think many men of our generation really have many reasons to get married anymore. Unless you wanted to have kids, and sometimes not even then..

(I have seen plenty of families who either have their own kids or where both parties have been previously married and have kids from previous relationships who never end up getting married. Not being married has no effect on how much these people care about each other or their ability to care for children.)

Why would a man ever wish to legally bind himself to a (post-feminism/modern woman), a woman who's not really interested in taking his name, more interested in focusing on her career than supporting him and a potential family.. a woman who may possibly be more bossy, fickle, more careless/carefree in relationships.
If you are both professionals and don't want children then fine.. but then what's wrong with just dating very long term. Why do you need that piece of paper?

Men are men.. and its always been ingrained in us to find (at least for marriage sake) a woman who is less domineering (ie. Less masculine and more feminine), willing to support us in our careers and raise/care for a family. Men have always been the hunters women have always been the careers in every society around the world for hundreds of thousands of years, and in the past 60 years it’s all turned around. And good for them!
I’m not saying that I think women are inferior at doing any job out there. Sometimes women can do those jobs just as well or better then men. I’m just saying that most men find women who are career equals or higher than them sometimes physically attractive yes, but most usually don’t really see them as someone who they can envision as a potential future wife and mother.

What man would really want a domineering career minded woman for a wife and mother of his children.. unless of course.. she was rich and the man is poor. Women have always wanted to be in the positions in business/the career world that men have.. and now they have it. And guess what.. now they can have men who want them for just their money too! I guess what goes around comes around.

 

[MicroBugs]

#1


#2




You like your name, he doesn't care, where is the conflict ? Just keep your name. (if some elderly people address you with his last name, smile, move on and don't be a b#### about it.)

Do you look like you are from africa ? (some of the poles I know are the least pigmented people I have ever met. You can put their hand on a newspaper and still read the small print).

Haha. Nope, not in the least. I look about as caucasian as they come. And I think you're right and I would have no problem using his name socially. Even my parents use it on my mail now even though they know I have not changed it. Is anyone else thinking (or have done) about doing Myname Middle Hislast Mylast so that you can still be Dr. Mylast, but use hislast socially and for the sake of co-accounts and such? Can that be done?

 

[caroladybelle]

Ridiculous enough for you to prove is not true. Are divorces more common? are marrying rates down? Do women still marry men as means of support? Do women value family like they use to? Give me evidence that there are less divorce now that women try and have careers (after the 1950s), Or give me evidence that many women still do not drop out of the workforce, and disprove that thier are more single parent familes. Did all this come about before or after feminism? I thought so. From your name I can also see that you are from the south, as I am from ALabama. I will give you a couple more years before you through yourself at a guy to support you so you will not have to be alone and support yourself on your own. Google any of the subjects I listed and you will see that what I say is true in the United States. And yes, women still do marry men for many reasons, besides for who they are at heart- money, car, social status, certain social look.

My dear, I have been the one turning down men...because they are invariably more of a burden than an asset in my life. There are very few of them able to hold my interest. At my age, I am hardly likely to be throwing myself anywhere, but I most certainly find plenty of them throwing themselves my way.

You find many women less likely to want to marry. Stats have consistantly backed that on the happiness index: married men and single women are the happiest, and that married women and single men are the most unhappy.

Studies have also demonstrated that after a divorce/death of a spouse, men are consistantly more likely to want to get married again than women are. The health of single men also tends to suffer, compared to married men.

Why are women heading up single family households? Because many are not wasting their time on a man, but pursuing the goal of having a family on their own.

 

[OzDDS]

My dear, I have been the one turning down men...because they are invariably more of a burden than an asset in my life. There are very few of them able to hold my interest.

That's the way I feel about most women.

The health of single men also tends to suffer, compared to married men.

I've never been married, but my health tends to be better when I'm single actually. I'm so busy usually with school and work, that in my free time I enjoy cooking and working out, but I find that when I have a clingy girlfriend that takes up most of that free time.. I end up skipping gym sessions to go shopping and/or spend time sitting on our asses spending "quality time" with the significant other.. and I get more "unhealthy" and stressed out.

I think those stats most likely apply to your sterotypical blue collar worker male who drinks alot on the weekends with his friends and may get in fights/or become involved in risky behavior. And if that type has a wife that cooks healthy meals and keeps him from engaging in risk taking behavior.. then I can see why he may be healthier and happier.

Why are women heading up single family households? Because many are not wasting their time on a man, but pursuing the goal of having a family on their own.

More power to them.. hell.. since many women are in the higher ranks in the buisness world these days. Maybe I should just follow in the path of women of the past and I can find myself some female CEO, marry her.. then after she has raised my standard of living. Then we divorce because she neglects me for her career and may have cheated on me. Then I just have her support me with a healthy sized alimony payment for the rest of my life. Awesome!

 

[MicroBugs]

That's the way I feel about most women.



I've never been married, but my health tends to be better when I'm single actually. I'm so busy usually with school and work, that in my free time I enjoy cooking and working out, but I find that when I have a clingy girlfriend that takes up most of that free time.. I end up skipping gym sessions to go shopping and/or spend time sitting on our asses spending "quality time" with the significant other.. and I get more "unhealthy" and stressed out.

I think those stats most likely apply to your sterotypical blue collar worker male who drinks alot on the weekends with his friends and may get in fights/or become involved in risky behavior. And if that type has a wife that cooks healthy meals and keeps him from engaging in risk taking behavior.. then I can see why he may be healthier and happier.



More power to them.. hell.. since many women are in the higher ranks in the buisness world these days. Maybe I should just follow in the path of women of the past and I can find myself some female CEO, marry her.. then after she has raised my standard of living. Then we divorce because she neglects me for her career and may have cheated on me. Then I just have her support me with a healthy sized alimony payment for the rest of my life. Awesome!

It certainly sounds like you haven't just found the right woman yet so that you're stuck giving up your gym time. My husband is very devoted to his workouts and I know that they come first before activities like shopping and such. We are also both active and our together activities usually involve hiking or biking or something. If you're worried about a woman who is devoted to her career than perhaps it is because you don't have a major goal in your life. It works well in our house since my husband has his (ironman) and I have mine (medicine). I know it doesn't work this way for everyone, but just saying it is possible...

 

[OzDDS]

It certainly sounds like you haven't just found the right woman yet so that you're stuck giving up your gym time. My husband is very devoted to his workouts and I know that they come first before activities like shopping and such. We are also both active and our together activities usually involve hiking or biking or something.

If you're worried about a woman who is devoted to her career than perhaps it is because you don't have a major goal in your life. It works well in our house since my husband has his (ironman) and I have mine (medicine). I know it doesn't work this way for everyone, but just saying it is possible...

You're right in saying that I haven't found the right woman yet.

But.. I have plenty of goals in my life.. I'm currently applying to dental school and I would like to travel.. for starters. Maybe sometime down the road I'd like to have a family... we'll see if that works out.

Concerning women who are really devoted to their career... I don't have a problem with them at all. I just would just never want to marry one. (at least one who puts their career before supporting their husband and caring for their children\ie. being a wife and mother). If I met someone who was very devoted to their career too, then I may date them.. but I dont think I would consider them seriously for marriage.

If I'm going to choose to open myself to being married (ie. legally liable to support a wife and kids).. then I would prefer to marry someone who (if they have a career/then it comes second to their duty of being a wife and mother). Money is nice.. but I can take care of that. I'd rather have a wife who is more devoted to being a good wife and mother.

 

[OzDDS]

It works well in our house since my husband has his (ironman) and I have mine (medicine). I know it doesn't work this way for everyone, but just saying it is possible...

You guys have kids? Sounds like you have a nice thing going. You have a someone attractive with a nice body who takes care of themselves (nice armcandy) and you can make the $$ and support the family. Maybe he can be the stay at home dad and take care of the kids. Hey.. if you're happy with that. That's awesome..

Most women like the sound of that scenario.. (the typical male role). But, when they actually have it.. I think many find it fun for a while.. but in the long run. Those pastures are not that green after all..
Many women end up longing for a man who can actually bring home some $$ of their own and relieve them of the burden of supporting the family, so they can enjoy time with the kids themselves instead of staying on call at the hospital all week. And when you want to retire at the age of 55.. don't expect your husband to be able to pick up the slack on the bills etc. You may have to work well into your late 60s (many docs do these days) with reduced reimbursements etc. The role sounds nice when your young.. but not always that nice when your in it.

Also, if you look at % of doctors who are married to other Doctors (men vs women) More female docs are married to other male docs.. than men. Men docs usually want something like me.. someone who is willing to take care of the kids and support them.
So.. Some female docs who have the arm candy husband who is a stay at home dad.. then they get tired of the job and burnt out after a few years.. then they divorce hubby for a $$ upgrade and marry a fellow doctor colleage who they spend a lot of time with at the hospital.

Women are more likely to marry up than men.

This isn't the rule.. but I know this happens to many female docs. I hope you're not one of them and can hold out if this is what you want.
Good Luck!

Peace.

 

[LADoc00]

(hijack alert)

The modern marriage is INSANE. Can anyone name a greater financial risk for a guy/breadwinner than marriage? Seriously, this is like playing Russian Roulette in a 6-shooter with 5 bullets...and if you actually do have kids its like then pulling the trigger twice!

I would propose that marriage is BY FAR the most risky endeavor one may ever undertake (for the financially stronger of the 2).

Its funny how this whole thing has really come full circle, women are so favored by the legal system its crazy, like completely out of whack.

Can you name another situation where you run the risk of losing half of everything you own, your kids, and a good chunk of future earnings in exchange for an intangible, unguaranteed sense of happiness?!

Of course there will be tons of women posters here flaming me well because Im interferring with their "ATM conversion plan" by spreading the truth:
Man+good job=ATM.

Should someone actually spread the truth about what is going on, the only people getting married will be gay...ironically.

The rise of pre-nups have done very little to correct this as well.

The best thing to do is simply go common law marriage(in a state that doesnt recognize it, of course). Have a small ceremony with some your friends and exchange vows, never creating a legal papertrail that a blood sucking attorney could follow. If she REALLY wants to marry you and not the ATM-you, she will agree.

 

[iiiimonica]

yes marriage is risky - that's why you don't jump in unless you are 1000% sure of who you are jumping in with.

if you are so worried about losing your stuff (and i don't blame you) prenups are the way to go. i offered to sign a prenup with my hubby right after we moved in together, he (for some bizzare reason) didn't think we needed one. a few days before the wedding he said "umm maybe we should..." but it was too late. mwah mwah mwah -just kidding, becuase if all goes well i hope to be the breadwinner and then i will be kicking myself for not insiting on one!

let your girlfriends/boyfriends now up front that you want to protect both of you from a broken marriage, in this day and age marriage has to be seen as a partnership - that means financial as well as life. a prenup is not just for the wealthy - it's to also protect future assests.

and once married you have to know that it's not only about how much you love/respect one another, it's also about the absolute financial ruin that will occur if you divorce (esp. true with kids) now before i get flamed - i would never advocate staying in a bad marriage, just warning you to stay and fight for your "okay" marriage, because you both are better off finicially together then apart.

so go out, fall in love, get married - just know what you are signing up for - forever is a mighty long time. 8 years and counting...

oh and keep your maiden name, or not - whatever floats your boat

 

[Amaranthan]

I grappled with the name change thing before I got married. I have (oh, wait...had) a unique (and pretty) English name and my husband has a very common English name. I decided to change my name, figuring I would grow into it. Changing my middle name was not an option since many people I know call me "firstname-middlename" (they match very well). Although it was a tough decision, my husband reminds me that I will ALWAYS be a "madeinname." Changing you name doesn't change WHO you are or the FAMILY you came from!

 

[LADoc00]

Who else thinks not wanting to change her name might be a huge redflag? Like maybe the preparations to rob you have already begun...spooky huh?

Could it be that when she looks at you she in fact pictures:

 

[MicroBugs]

No kids yet, but eventually. I can see how many women may want to be able to stay home with the kids and let the husband do the earning. That will still definitely be an option for us. His goal is not his full time job and thus, he will have a job. But just with own personality, I don't think I could stay home long, only while they're little. But hey, it's different for everyone and I wish them luck in finding what it is they want...

You guys have kids? Sounds like you have a nice thing going. You have a someone attractive with a nice body who takes care of themselves (nice armcandy) and you can make the $$ and support the family. Maybe he can be the stay at home dad and take care of the kids. Hey.. if you're happy with that. That's awesome..

Most women like the sound of that scenario.. (the typical male role). But, when they actually have it.. I think many find it fun for a while.. but in the long run. Those pastures are not that green after all..
Many women end up longing for a man who can actually bring home some $$ of their own and relieve them of the burden of supporting the family, so they can enjoy time with the kids themselves instead of staying on call at the hospital all week. And when you want to retire at the age of 55.. don't expect your husband to be able to pick up the slack on the bills etc. You may have to work well into your late 60s (many docs do these days) with reduced reimbursements etc. The role sounds nice when your young.. but not always that nice when your in it.

Also, if you look at % of doctors who are married to other Doctors (men vs women) More female docs are married to other male docs.. than men. Men docs usually want something like me.. someone who is willing to take care of the kids and support them.
So.. Some female docs who have the arm candy husband who is a stay at home dad.. then they get tired of the job and burnt out after a few years.. then they divorce hubby for a $$ upgrade and marry a fellow doctor colleage who they spend a lot of time with at the hospital.

Women are more likely to marry up than men.

This isn't the rule.. but I know this happens to many female docs. I hope you're not one of them and can hold out if this is what you want.
Good Luck!

Peace.

 

[piercj2]

Are any of the women that posted on this forum acually in the work world yet? Many women enjoy undergrad and med school or whatever and then up opting out of the work world. Woking is nothing like school, you have to be able to deal well with people, command respect, make decisions fast, be fast on your feet ect. Many women just don't totally understand the work world until they are there, and that is why you see so many of them working part time or not at all, or just switching jobs alot. I don;t think most women totally understand what they are getting into, and this is proven by the number of women who work in less demanding fields, part time, stop working at an early age, or work in a demanding profession, but choose a job in the profession that is very flexible and non demanding.

 

[iiiimonica]

Who else thinks not wanting to change her name might be a huge redflag? Like maybe the preparations to rob you have already begun...spooky huh?

Could it be that when she looks at you she in fact pictures:

LADoc000, i dont know if you ment to be funny, but i laughed so loud i woke up my cats!

i hope you find a nice very girl who will love you for that wacky sense of humor - funny funny

 

[Stephie]

Are any of the women that posted on this forum acually in the work world yet? Many women enjoy undergrad and med school or whatever and then up opting out of the work world. Woking is nothing like school, you have to be able to deal well with people, command respect, make decisions fast, be fast on your feet ect. Many women just don't totally understand the work world until they are there, and that is why you see so many of them working part time or not at all, or just switching jobs alot. I don;t think most women totally understand what they are getting into, and this is proven by the number of women who work in less demanding fields, part time, stop working at an early age, or work in a demanding profession, but choose a job in the profession that is very flexible and non demanding.

If men were the primary caregivers of the kids and also working I think you would see many more men working part time jobs, looking for flexible positions, etc.

 

[caroladybelle]

If I'm going to choose to open myself to being married (ie. legally liable to support a wife and kids).. then I would prefer to marry someone who (if they have a career/then it comes second to their duty of being a wife and mother). Money is nice.. but I can take care of that. I'd rather have a wife who is more devoted to being a good wife and mother.

There is nothing about declining to change her name that interferes in any way with being an awesome wife and mother.

And just because she does change her name does not mean that she WILL be a good wife and mother.

 

[caroladybelle]

Are any of the women that posted on this forum acually in the work world yet? Many women enjoy undergrad and med school or whatever and then up opting out of the work world. Woking is nothing like school, you have to be able to deal well with people, command respect, make decisions fast, be fast on your feet ect. Many women just don't totally understand the work world until they are there, and that is why you see so many of them working part time or not at all, or just switching jobs alot. I don;t think most women totally understand what they are getting into, and this is proven by the number of women who work in less demanding fields, part time, stop working at an early age, or work in a demanding profession, but choose a job in the profession that is very flexible and non demanding.

Exactly how old do you think that I am?????

I paid my way through college. I have worked more than 32 hours a week for the past 24 years. I have worked full time for the past 20 years. I have worked in oncology/hematology for the past 11. During part of this time , I was attending school and raising a child (not mine by birth). She has grown into a successful adult, gone on to graduate college, get married and have children. And she contributes 1/2 of her family's income, barring six weeks off after birth of each child. She is a police officer and now working towards nursing school.

I am in my forties....And YOU?????

 

[piercj2]

I did not know you were that old. I am 22 years old, about to graduate undegrad. Maybe you have worked full time and have been successful, however this is not common with many women. Often women who already have older children, no children at all, or are of prime working age still work part time or not al all. Reaseach the topic, it still remains to be true. Some women do work time, take care of the family and are respectful and good hearted individuals, and some are not. And many women want to raise thier children because they dont want to work, sorry, but this is just a fact. There is an article online called the Opt out revolution, which describes how women from prestiigous colleges with husbands who can provide for them do not work year around full time for many years and end up dropping out of the workforce. Some women do go to college and pursue a career, whole heartedly, but many don't, and that is juat a fact

 

[caroladybelle]

I did not know you were that old. I am 22 years old, about to graduate undegrad. Maybe you have worked full time and have been successful, however this is not common with many women. Often women who already have older children, no children at all, or are of prime working age still work part time or not al all. Reaseach the topic, it still remains to be true. Some women do work time, take care of the family and are respectful and good hearted individuals, and some are not. And many women want to raise thier children because they dont want to work, sorry, but this is just a fact. There is an article online called the Opt out revolution, which describes how women from prestiigous colleges with husbands who can provide for them do not work year around full time for many years and end up dropping out of the workforce. Some women do go to college and pursue a career, whole heartedly, but many don't, and that is juat a fact

Perhaps YOU should wait and make judgements about that after YOU have worked for about twenty years.

Some men marry because because that is the only way they can "keep" a woman. Some refuse to let their wives work, because they are insecure about their manhood.

And some men make broad generalizations about women, based not on the real lives of women, but by reading their own ideas into pop culture books. And do it because they need something to make them feel superior.

Because a woman chooses to raise her children as a primary goal does not equal women "not having an identity", does not equal needing a man's approval to fulfill herself, nor "throwing themselves at any man" to escape being alone or supporting herself. An well educated woman is primary in raising well educated children. Something that is necessary to women and MEN in our society.

A lot of men do spend adequate time educating and motivating their children, but then most of them are less interested in proving their superiority.
Now it would be lovely if men took an equal amount of time educating their kids and caring for them. But I suppose that some are too busy trying to establish identity being superior everyone else's, that they cannot be bothered to educate those who will follow them.

Perhaps YOU need to value that because some highly educated woman took time out to educate future generations of children, to impress that education is not wasted on one gender and promote their learning, when you are elderly (and probably single, given your attitude), there will be a well educated and motivated MD/nurse/lawyer/stockbroker to take care of your needs.

I find men in my age group and above, much more desperate for women's attention and validation, than ever before, and the women more comfortable with being solo athan the men.

 

[piercj2]

I still do not consider women whole individuals with a true self and core identity. If women had any respect for themselves they woule not marry men for thier money, cars, career, the way he dresses, or any of the hundreds of other reasons that women marry men besides of who they are or just naturaly physical attraction. And, yes, women do throw themselves at men. IN college, women are pratically more aggrasive than men in trying to find a date or hook up with a guy. Call me old fashioned, but I do not beleive in women pursuing men for sex and relationship, that should be the mans job. WOmen are more sexually permiscuous now days, and that accounts for the increase in cohabition and the decrease in marrying rates. I am in college right now, and I live in a different generation than you did. WOmen have changed. Thats just a fact, from the way they dress, to what they value, and to what motivates them. I have seen too, too, too many women who act so shameful in regards to thier respect for others and themselves that it may have made me alittle sexist or just lessened my respect for them as a whole. But I am a fair and opened minded person, and what I have seen, I have seen, and I know goes on. My dad is a big attorney in a small town and he even tells me married women try to make advances on him. Women should not act like this, they are not intrinsically sexually and power driven like males are.

 

[piercj2]

I just thought about saying something else. Like the way women are now days is drive to extremes by the media- sex in the city, desperate house wives, or any other sesually explicit show like this. Women are so caught up into trying to be equal to men that they think it is right to be sexually adventorous, or to try and act power driven, ect. And our society has changed because of this and it has effected families and our children. Those are the facts, wheather people know them or not

 

[akaz]

Typical female response, deflect the issue and change the subject. Women are not indepentend autounomous minded humans. Thier instincts just react to situations around them without considering why or what might happen

Wack job. You and LADOC should hang

 

[akaz]

I just thought about saying something else. Like the way women are now days is drive to extremes by the media- sex in the city, desperate house wives, or any other sesually explicit show like this. Women are so caught up into trying to be equal to men that they think it is right to be sexually adventorous, or to try and act power driven, ect. And our society has changed because of this and it has effected families and our children. Those are the facts, wheather people know them or not

The spouse forum is really pathetic. I could give an argument, but it would be wasted on someone like yourself. Those are opinions, not facts. Facts are data with controls. Learn how to spell. affected is the appropriate word not effected. whether not wheather or weather (that is the average joe word for climate). Also, learn what facts are. Are you in the first grade or from an area where your education was so poor that there is barely any difference? I have no respect for someone that does not know the difference between data or facts and opinions (what you have inferred from the world). Huge difference. Since your intellect is small and you have no data, I would advise the world to ignore this reject with poor intellect. I am assumming most will because there is no way you could compete with today's educated men and women. I see your dad is attorney in a small town. That is why your educational level is so poor. Couldn't daddy come up with the funds to do a better job educating you? Poor job mom and dad. I would be embarrassed if you were my child, but what you really said in your message was, "I am a stupid and provincial hick".

 

[OzDDS]

There is nothing about declining to change her name that interferes in any way with being an awesome wife and mother.

And just because she does change her name does not mean that she WILL be a good wife and mother.

This is true.. although personally.. I would prefer "if" I were to marry that my future wife took my last name.

It is a proven fact that those who get pre-nups have a higher divorce rate than those who dont. Because it makes it legally easier to separate... the same could be argued for "not changing your name". Just a thought..

Some men marry because because that is the only way they can "keep" a woman. Some refuse to let their wives work, because they are insecure about their manhood.

Same could be said about women who lie about using birth control or other things to trap men..

everything else you said about education in general I fully agree with!


I agreed with piercj2 in that I don't feel men have any reasons anymore to really want to get married..
but I don't really agree with his generalisations when he said, "I still do not consider women whole individuals with a true self and core identity." I think that's really vague and unfounded.

 

[piercj2]

Akaz, If I this were in person I would probably slap your little bitch ass, and then you would probably cry at the fact that a man touched you (women love to mouth off, and if they get breathed on by a guy they cry). It wasn't even until about sixty years ago until you could even leave the house to work, and you are still undervalued and underpaid in the work world. Here is somd data to back up the information that I have listed in this post. Everything that I am saying is true and you know that, and that is probably the reason it upset you so bad. Actually, sorry about those above comments, they should not have been written. Anyway here is just a little proof of some the trends that I am talking about in women and society. I could list 50 other sites easily, but I figured this was adequate proof. And yes, my grammer is terrible.

http://www.montana.edu/wrt/opt_out_revolution.pdf
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Books/story?id=2067008&page=2
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2005-07-18-cohabit-divorce_x.htm
http://www2.duq.edu/familyinstitute/templates/features/csmf/cohab.html
http://www.india-today.com/iplus/1998_3/sex.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/national/20women.html?ex=1284868800&en=6a8e0c413c09c249&ei=5090
http://www.alternet.org/story/28621/?comments=view&cID=60155&pID=59141

 

[mysophobe]

Grammar and spelling are not the same, but you are equally terrible at both.

 

[OzDDS]

http://www.montana.edu/wrt/opt_out_revolution.pdf
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Books/story?id=2067008&page=2
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2005-07-18-cohabit-divorce_x.htm
http://www2.duq.edu/familyinstitute/templates/features/csmf/cohab.html
http://www.india-today.com/iplus/1998_3/sex.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/national/20women.html?ex=1284868800&en=6a8e0c413c09c249&ei=5090
http://www.alternet.org/story/28621/?comments=view&cID=60155&pID=59141

Some of these are pretty interesting.. piercj2, I understand what your saying.. but if you really want others to listen to your point of view.. you might want to try and not say it in such an inflammatory way. Peace.

 

[LADoc00]

First rule of posting on SDN: Never direct anything/respond to Akaz. The he-she entity known as "Akaz" is some wierd non-American ethnicity, not sure what but definitely should consider heading back to the homeland.

For example take a look at a pic of a recent feminist protest at an all Male golf venue:

 

[alitheia]

I'm a pre-med student, and my boyfriend and I are planning to get married the summer before M1. I want to take his last name, so that's not an issue (I considered keeping mine, but I'm not particularly attached to it--I'm actually more attached to my mom's maiden name, which is not at all part of my name, than to my paternal surname--and am happy to be known as a member of bf's family, and my surname is more difficult to pronounce than his), but read on--

My question is this: since I will be applying to, and with any luck being accepted to medical schools using my maiden name, what will I need to do to straighten out paperwork after I have changed my name? Anyone have experience with this?

 

[f_w]

what will I need to do to straighten out paperwork after I have changed my name?

Take your 'long-form' certificate of marriage and go to the registrars office. The 'long form' marriage certificate will typically contain a sentence such as 'new name: ABC'. The registrar will change your name in the computer and that is about it.

 

[DnB607]

I will be getting married in between MS1 and MS2. I have considered keeping my last name and my mom wants me to do that or use a hypenated version such as MyName-HisName. I am not a big fan of hyphenated names at all so I would never do that. My fiance really wants me to take his name. But mine just sounds so much better after Dr. I don't know what to do. In the end I will probably just take his name because it would be so weird for us to be married and have different last names.

 

[f_w]

Hyphenate and use your hyphenated name professionally. If he (or his reactionary family) insist on addressing you as 'Dr hislastname', so be it.

it would be so weird for us to be married and have different last names.

It would be weird to make a big issue out of it.

 

[DrMom]

I am not a big fan of hyphenated names at all so I would never do that. My fiance really wants me to take his name. But mine just sounds so much better after Dr. I don't know what to do. In the end I will probably just take his name because it would be so weird for us to be married and have different last names.

Another option is to legally keep your maiden name (which you would use for professional life, taxes, etc), but use your hubby's name for everything else. This keep some separation between your patients and your personal life (ie: you can have a listed home phone # that your patients can't go looking up) and give you the name that you feel sounds better for your professional life while still giving some family continuity with the use of your "married" name in your personal life.

 

[OzDDS]

If you're going to get married just to separate yourself from your spouse.. then why get married?

Different names, different bank accounts, different full time jobs, only see each other a couple hours a day? Why wouldn't you just make things easier and keep your own seperate homes/apartments and just continue to date? Again.. why do you need the piece of paper? What do you have to gain?


seriously..

 

[piercj2]

I feel like many of these reaons in the last post by ozdds do greatly contribute to the where society is headed in the future. It is truly sad when there are small forms of compitition between newly married couples- who is going to take who's name, is the wife going to be working the whole time, who is going to follow who to what job, are seperate or joint bank accounts and credit cards going to be purchased, ect, ect, ect. A couple decades ago marriage was more of a partnership than a competition. The way couples interact now days is going to keep upping the number of divorces and single parent families. Years ago a women would have never questioned taking her husbands name or not-it was considered an honor. Like I said, we can contribute this to more compitition and bitterness between the sexes, mostly on the female side where they feel like the have to prove themselves to be better than men for thier own self respect. It is scary where American society is headed in the next couple decades

 

[f_w]

do greatly contribute to the where society is headed in the future. It is truly sad when there are small forms of compitition between newly married couples- who is going to take who's name, is the wife going to be working the whole time, who is going to follow who to what job, are seperate or joint bank accounts and credit cards going to be purchased, ect, ect, ect.

Say, who spells better in your household ?

 

[NonTradMed]

In Chinese culture, women traditionally do not change their last name upon marriage. My grandmothers nor my mom have ever done so so I figure why should I? My grandmothers were both married for over 50 years and my mother has been married for more than a quarter of a century. If a name change is big enough to incite divorce, then the marriage wasn't meant to last.

(Oh yeah, my maternal grandmother and my mom all worked fulltime while juggling kids. Don't know why people assume familes with working mothers are bad. I knew plenty of kids from traditional homes that turned out bad).