Hi Surgeon,
I've asked myself this very same question because my ex-girlfriend told me that I had treated her as a friend, not as "lovers." I had difficulty in this question because I unexpectedly did treat her more as a friend and not as "lovers", without realizing her needs and emotions.
I'm sure you love him/her but you have to ask yourself, have you treated this person differently before the relationship became serious? If so, try and go back to your "roots," it will help in trying to win back his/her heart.
-spectre