Need to Vent

[deleted877060]

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Midterm season, tough classes, not doing so well, blah blah blah. I should be studying/writing my papers but here I am typing away on SDN. Lots of anxieties lately. Recently discovered my lack of ability in carrying on a conversation with someone very different from me. We are expected to be altruistic individuals but sometimes I just cannot make myself sincerely care about other people. I can pretend, but I hate pretending and I honestly think I do a bad job. We are told that we should "be ourselves" but what if being myself means at times I strongly dislike working with people??? Gosh, I'm such an introvert it sucks.
/rant

 

[Welshman]

Midterm season, tough classes, not doing so well, blah blah blah. I should be studying/writing my papers but here I am typing away on SDN. Lots of anxieties lately. Recently discovered my lack of ability in carrying on a conversation with someone very different from me. We are expected to be altruistic individuals but sometimes I just cannot make myself sincerely care about other people. I can pretend, but I hate pretending and I honestly think I do a bad job. We are told that we should "be ourselves" but what if being myself means at times I strongly dislike working with people??? Gosh, I'm such an introvert it sucks.
/rant

You’re gunna do great in medicine...

 

[•Syzygy•]

there is a special place for people like you in hell


just kidding. go into academic medicine or pathology... you can do a lot without having to see patients

 

[NotASerialKiller]

You’re gunna do great in medicine...

I notice you didn't bold the preceding two words "at times". Everyone dislikes people sometimes. If med schools wanted to train only those who unconditionally love all people all the time they'd admit 200 golden retrievers.

OP disliking people sometimes is perfectly normal for anyone, even a doctor. Since you're venting, I'm assuming that you're being hard on yourself because you think you're obliged to adore every patient. If you actually hate everyone all the time, then medicine might not be right for you, but there are a ton of introverts in my class. When you interact with patients who are suffering I seriously doubt you wouldn't feel even a shred of empathy. Your heart doesn't have to break for every patient for you to be respectful and considerate without feeling like you're "faking" it.

 

[calivianya]

I can pretend, but I hate pretending and I honestly think I do a bad job.

Practice makes perfect. Seriously. I get compliments all the time on my bedside manner and how friendly I am (usually comes across in performance evals, thank you notes from families, etc.), but I'd say in reality I'm frustrated with the patient or family and just want to get out of the room and get away from those people a significant fraction of the time.

Mastering your smiling, pleasant poker face is a necessary evil, and it only comes with experience. Trust me, the more you do it, the easier it is, and the less your real emotions will show through.

 

[deleted877060]

I notice you didn't bold the preceding two words "at times". Everyone dislikes people sometimes. If med schools wanted to train only those who unconditionally love all people all the time they'd admit 200 golden retrievers.

OP disliking people sometimes is perfectly normal for anyone, even a doctor. Since you're venting, I'm assuming that you're being hard on yourself because you think you're obliged to adore every patient. If you actually hate everyone all the time, then medicine might not be right for you, but there are a ton of introverts in my class. When you interact with patients who are suffering I seriously doubt you wouldn't feel even a shred of empathy. Your heart doesn't have to break for every patient for you to be respectful and considerate without feeling like you're "faking" it.

Thank you for this. I don't hate everyone; I do find working with people fulfilling most of the time. I emphasize with people. It's when I have a lot on my mind I feel I lose patience and it becomes draining to interact with others. I find energy from within and not from outside, if it makes any sense.

 

[deleted877060]

Practice makes perfect. Seriously. I get compliments all the time on my bedside manner and how friendly I am (usually comes across in performance evals, thank you notes from families, etc.), but I'd say in reality I'm frustrated with the patient or family and just want to get out of the room and get away from those people a significant fraction of the time.

Mastering your smiling, pleasant poker face is a necessary evil, and it only comes with experience. Trust me, the more you do it, the easier it is, and the less your real emotions will show through.

Yeah, I haven't practiced enough, that's for sure...

 

[Welshman]

Yeah, I haven't practiced enough, that's for sure...

I’ve just started watching Dexter, it’s pretty interesting if your interested in social interaction practice/faking it. I would highly recommend it even for just a bit more procrastination.