I do love these arguments. What they come down to is this: people at Ivies (or who went to Ivies) and people who are bitter as hell about not getting into the Ivies will tell you that going to an Ivy is everything. People who are not at Ivies, have never gone to Ivies, and (gasp) people who don't want to go to Ivies for whatever reason will tell you that you can achieve your dreams at whatever school you choose.
In reality, both these viewpoints are true. If you base your self-worth so much on where you went to school, and if only an Ivy will do, you won't achieve your dreams at a state school. If, however, you are secure with the fact that you're not attending an Ivy and if you are happy with your state school/other institution, and if you are doing what you love, you will do just fine.
I think a lot of this has to do with personality. I could've gone to an Ivy. I chose not to. I didn't feel like I fit in with the people because I don't really give a damn about prestige. I'm not concerned with establishing a legacy. I'm not planning to do research. I chose a school I loved, and yes, it's my state school. I've been very, very happy here. I'm doing well. If I had to do it again, I wouldn't make the decision any differently. I feel the same way about my undergrad choice: I could've gone to an Ivy. I didn't want to for a number of reasons including the undue financial burden on my family. My state school provided me with an amazing education and fantastic opportunities. I don't feel that I was held back in the least.
If prestige is #1 on your list, by all means, fight for that spot at Harvard. I won't be fighting with you, and you should be glad for that and not spend your time belittling me for my choices. If prestige is not #1 on your list, figure out what is #1, go to a school that values that thing, and don't listen to people who tell you you're stupid for that choice.
