@libertyyne...I relate to a lot of what you've written.
I agonized about my speciality selection for most of medical school (and tbh, I still agonize about it). I fluctuated between OB/GYN and ortho for most of the time and then picked rads at the end of MS3 after only shadowing for 3 days. I applied to DR and I plan on specializing in breast imaging. If I hate it, or if I don't get my procedural fix through mammo, I plan on doing IR. Luckily I don't have to decide until R2.
It took me a long time to figure out why I was hesitant to drop ortho and choose another field. It boiled down to a few things:
1). My ego. Being a radiologist isn't sexy. No one goes "wooooww" when you say you're a radiologist. Some people don't even know radiologists are physicians. I hate to admit it, but I imagined myself as a sexy badass ortho chick surgeon, chopping off legs, playing with power tools, etc. However, when I stepped away from that egotistical image of myself and how I wanted others to see me, and realized
that idea was what was keeping me from another career I could enjoy just as much or even more, it seemed silly. I was able to let go of that--you may not. Sure, people WILL go "wow!" when you say you're a neurosurgeon. But then they'll go back to thinking about what they want for lunch. Make sure your desires to do neurosurgery are not rooted in ego alone.
2). I
like the OR. I love procedures, I always will. But I don't LOVE the OR. When the clock hits 5 PM, I want to go home.
3). I value predictability. I want to know what my day will look like. I hated my MS3 year and not because I don't like medicine--I hated not knowing when I would get to go home. Will I get home in time to take my daughter to dance? Who will pick up my kids from school? Will I get to go to the gym? Am I going to be able to cook dinner? This led me to radiology and other shift-based fields.
4). I have two kids. I know I will never regret choosing them over ortho or another surgical sub-speciality. If I didn't have kids, I may have done ortho. But I do.
5). You will not find happiness from external means. I know this for a fact--I lived in Maui for 3 years after undergrad because I thought living on the beach would make me happy. I started my own business working from home because I thought that would make me happy. I had children early because I thought that would make my happy. I actually went to medical school because I thought that accomplishment would make me happy (hilarious now to think, lol). I expect to like my job, but I don't expect my job as a radiologist to define me or my happiness. I think a lot of people in medicine, esp in specialities like neurosurgery, need neurosurgery to be the source of their happiness/fulfillment. For a single man, I can see why they'd choose neurosurgery. For someone with kids, I really don't get it.
Sorry for the long post, but I think if you tease out the details of why you're deciding between these two fields, maybe the decision gets easier. I know it did for me.