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no time for both friends and sig. other?

Discussion in 'Medical Students - MD' started by docsamdoc, Mar 25, 2007.

  1. docsamdoc


    Mar 24, 2007
    hi, i am 23 female first year...have realized that it is essential to survival to have some classmates as good friends...partially for the friendship but also because it is necessary to have trustworthy people to call when confused while reading your lecture notes, etc.
    i started dating someone a few months ago, and while i also believed in the philosophy 'dont lose all of your friends at the beg. of a relationship' it is impossible to see them besides the usual schooltime. i mean, i only take off fri and sat nights around 7pm till 2am, so there is no time for friends...
    does anyone else have trouble balancing?

    also, i have already lost all of my friends from undergrad in this city who dont understand my schedule.
    im feeling bad because ive been given a hard time lately by single friends because i never see them anymore...
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  3. SeaPanther

    SeaPanther 2+ Year Member

    Mar 8, 2007
    You shouldn't call people you use friends. Nothing wrong with keeping in touch with people because you might need them later but that has nothing to do with friendship.

    Do you really study like 10 hours every day? I'm sure anyone can find an hour or two even on exam weeks to grab dinner with people you like even with a SO.
  4. psipsina

    psipsina Senior Member 5+ Year Member

    Jun 24, 2005
    Its definitely hard to juggle everything in medschool and not let something slip, but even as a married woman I have managed to maintain friendships. My hubby and I do one date night a week (i.e. no books and only the two of us), and then I usually do something with friends at somepoint that I include my hubby in. Maybe you could find some other couples in your class and all go out to dinner and a movie etc? Also if you are looking for more time with medschool friends you can group study, and when you take your breaks you will be having bonding friendship time without having to sacrifice your time with the boyfriend. I think what is most concerning is that all relationships are all impermanent, we never know when one is going to begin or end, and to put all your effort into just one makes you more likely to end up with none at some point.
  5. Dakota

    Dakota Senior Member Physician 10+ Year Member

    Sep 5, 2005
    Agree with the above. It really isn't so hard to squeeze in a meal with your classmates. I mean, you have to eat.
  6. cfdavid

    cfdavid Banned Banned 7+ Year Member

    Oct 24, 2004
    I think the bottom line in med school (or any other demanding endeavor) is that there's a limited amount of time in the day. That's just a fact, and you'll need to prioritize as a result.

    If they're true friends they'll understand all this. Also, just because your pals are giving you a hard time doesn't mean they don't get it. I'm sure they do.

    You're at a point in your life where you'll need to make more and more of these types of decisions. Friends are important, but you can't revolve your life around them, or prioritize their needs over your own. It's tough, but you'll be saying no, more often. It's necessary, and you'll just have to explain to them that you're "swamped", or whatever.
  7. docsamdoc


    Mar 24, 2007
    actually, i do infact study more than average to make average grades. i majored in art history and am paying for it first year...
  8. SanDiegoSOD

    SanDiegoSOD Milk was a bad choice 7+ Year Member

    Jul 5, 2004
    Sunny California
    Try and kill two birds with one stone by including your SO in activities with your friends. Im sure your SO wont want to do this all the time, but it cant be done enough to keep in touch with your friends without alienating your SO.
  9. Law2Doc

    Law2Doc 5K+ Member Physician Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    Dec 20, 2004
    Agree -- some of your friends must have their own squeezes, so do a double date here or there.
    And as others have suggested you probably eat lunch now and then -- and I bet your friends do too. Or go to the gym with them. Things you do anyway.
  10. njbmd

    njbmd Guest Moderator Emeritus 5+ Year Member

    May 30, 2001
    Gone Walkabout!
    In general, when your "friends" are people who share something in life with you. At this point, your childhood friends are likely off working on their careers, your mates from undergrad have moved in a different direction and you are establishing some new relationships with some of your classmates.

    Sometimes it's difficult for your friends to understand that your schedule is pretty demanding for you, especially if they are requiring less study time. Forgive them and move on. The important thing is not to "beat up on yourself" because you can't spend the same amount of time with your chums as you could before school started and while you are still adjusting to the pace.

    When residency comes around, you are going to make new relationships (generally with your fellow residents) and you won't have loads of time to just "hang" with your new residency chums either.

    Spend 15 minutes (while you are having your morning beverage) and drop a cheery e-mail to the folks that have been your buds but you have been too busy to spend time with. See if you can set aside a bit of time where you all can get together (perhaps an evening after exams) and chill. Many people will begin to understand the demands of "your black hole of study" if you just acknowledge that you want to spend a bit of time with them but can't at this point and that you miss them as much as they miss you.
  11. Babylonian

    Babylonian Gone Mad! 2+ Year Member

    Apr 12, 2006
    Rollin' on Chuck Taylorz
    There is always time for sex once, twice, three times a day. There is also time for friends outside of school. The key is whether you want to walk around acing all your exams and brown nosing all your profs for recs or doing all the meaningless things in trying to be an overacheiver.

    Ease you fun time out come board time. Not now. Being comfortable being at the bottom of the class is key to living a well-rounded balance lifestyle in medical school.

    Don't let the system beat you kid.
  12. psipsina

    psipsina Senior Member 5+ Year Member

    Jun 24, 2005
    Sex is good cardio and releases happy endorphins that boost mood and the immune system, so by having lots of sex (safe of course) you are actually making yourself a better medstudent . . . there needs to be no compromise between my grades and my sex life as far as I see . . . .
  13. Critical Mass

    Critical Mass Guest

    Feb 23, 2007
    Glad to hear it, psi.

    I'm sure you remember my college experience...

    Combine studying with romance. :thumbup:

    BTW, psi, I had a post in the lounge a while back about assisting with multiple orgasms. Click on the link if you're interested.

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