Non-trad mom w/ intense analysis paralysis

[Zrb19]

Im 23 and a grad with a B.S in pre med. I have a cGPA of 3.5 or 3.45 w/o grade replacement. My sGPA is 3.6 My GPA isn’t the best but I had to work full time throughout my undergrad Because I didn’t have help from my parents and didn’t want to rely too heavy on loans. At this point I thought I knew what I wanted but i definitely need some help settling on what I should do with my life. Just a background to my intentions and interests. i initially graduated intending to go to PA school. With having to work and go to school, I’ve grown to like the idea of being financially independent and couldn’t fathom building the mountain of debt doctor’s get from school. I needed patient care hours so during my gap year I volunteered/shadowed at a free clinic while working full time as a CNA. I met some DO Clinical students there and speaking with them felt like I was talking to superstars! Hearing and watching them go through their clinical work, I was amazed with what they were doing and they all told me based on my resume and interests that I should definitely be a doctor not a PA due to the extensive scope of practice and that the debt can be paid of within a few years if you scale back enough. I was excited by this and dreamed of becoming a doctor for the first time, I borrowed MCAT prep books from a friend of mine and started studying. That winter I picked up another job to help me pay bills, because I wasn’t making enough as a CNA and my boyfriend was unemployed. Between call ins and having the other job, I was working 60+ hours/week for a month. Working like that with little sleep or time to do anything made me realize, even though I was capable, I didn’t want to work like that for the rest of my life, so I went back to considering PA. Soon after realizing my path, I became pregnant with my first and it made me double down on PA, because it would give me more time to spend with my family.While working as a CNA I met a doctor there that took me under his wing. He even told me that I should pursue being a doctor based on my interests and even with a child it was still possible for me. I held firm with my decision to be a PA but I started having doubts again. After my baby was born, reality set in more, it made me realize that I want my child to have more than I did as a kid. I want to be there for soccer games and I want to actually have the money to put her in ballet or fund whatever she wants to do. I don’t want to be an absent parent at all. But i know the kind of person I am. I am a terrible workaholic and despite liking free time with family, I know that when needed I will always give myself to work. To this day I’m shadowing ,studying for the GRE, and working my other job during my bonding leave with my baby when it’s supposed to be for bonding! Lol. Being a doctor, you’re needed all the time and the job usually calls for long hours. I know if I was to choose it, that I would give myself to that job and not enough to my family. That is why I chose PA first because of the less responsibility, and by nature it is less involved than doctor. However, I’m afraid that I will regret it when my kid is all grown up and won’t need me anymore. She’ll be 18 when I’m 41.
I just want to know for many of you who were undecided, what was the deciding factor for you? What helped you come to a conclusion of what you wanted in life? A lot of doctors say that they do have time with their families, but in your experience Do you believe that? I’d like to work the regular 9-5 one day. to this day I still have 2 jobs and would very much like to see an end in sight to start building with family but I am willing to go the doctor route if I know that at the end of the tunnel I’ll be working less than 50 hours/week with time to be with my family.

also those who considered the NP route feel free to contribute as well. I’ve been thinking of that too because I can actually work and earn money for my family while working toward my degree. I’m all over the place I know lol

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[acstylin]

Go NP for now then apply for med school when your kid is in HS? You’ll have to retake some classes but you can do that while your kid is in school. You'll also be able to save up with dual incomes so it won’t be such a financial burden when you have to quit your job to focus on the MCAT (it’s hard to do well while working a full time job although some people do it) and med school. You’ll be older than other students but you’ll have amazing experiences and maturity. FWIW, I’ll start med school in aug at 41 years old.

 

[never-too-late]

Go NP for now then apply for med school when your kid is in HS? You’ll have to retake some classes but you can do that while your kid is in school. You'll also be able to save up with dual incomes so it won’t be such a financial burden when you have to quit your job to focus on the MCAT (it’s hard to do well while working a full time job although some people do it) and med school. You’ll be older than other students but you’ll have amazing experiences and maturity. FWIW, I’ll start med school in aug at 41 years old.

Do this. I'm starting at 43 with 2 kids in high school. It feels like a good time to start.

 

[Agentcross]

I chose to become a doctor now. I have two kids under 3(with plans for another within 2 years) and will be starting in the fall.

I had zero interest in nursing so that was off the table. I debated MD v PA for some time. I eventually figured out that I was settling for PA because it was easier, safer, and seemed more reasonable. But I knew I’d always wonder “what-if” and I knew I wanted to have my own practice. There are plenty of specialties that can offer something similar to 9-5 or a set schedule to fit other life things in. You don’t need to put starting a family on hold for years. Many, many others have successfully started families in med school and residency

Sounds to me like you’re trying to talk yourself out of MD and convince yourself that you want to be a PA.

I’d also advise, no matter your path, that you set strict/healthy boundaries between home and life. It’s something I had to do/to learn. No employer, no matter how great, deserves that much of your effort/loyalty when they can replace you easily and would have no trouble doing so.

 

[DOgdad23]

1) yes the debt of becoming a doctor seems insurmountable, but if you are willing to live like a college student for a few years, you can easily pay off your medical school debt in 5 years or less. I know many doctors who paid their’s off in 3 years.

2) I have several classmates that have children. The common denominator for success is a supportive significant other, and of course good time management skills.

3) “I met some DO Clinical students there and speaking with them felt like I was talking to superstars!” You have the opportunity to be one of those students if you want to be.

4) Take it from someone who thought taking another path would satisfy that itch to become a doctor... you will ALWAYS wonder what if.

5) not all fields are 60+ hours. Those are mostly just surgical fields. Sure, residency will be 60+ hours and some of medical school will be. My first semester I started off by studying 80 hours per week. By the end of the semester I was studying ~30 hours per week and not going to class (for neuro) and finished in the top 5% of my class. It all comes down to learning how to be efficient in medical school.

As far as your GPA goes, you’re fine for DO as long as you get at least a 505 on the MCAT. For MD, you could maybe get into your state school with that GPA (depending on the state) with a 510+, but I’d recommend either a post-bacc or masters. Clearly those around you think you can and should do it. The question is, do you?

 

[DO_or_Die]

Im 23 and a grad with a B.S in pre med. I have a cGPA of 3.5 or 3.45 w/o grade replacement. My sGPA is 3.6 My GPA isn’t the best but I had to work full time throughout my undergrad Because I didn’t have help from my parents and didn’t want to rely too heavy on loans. At this point I thought I knew what I wanted but i definitely need some help settling on what I should do with my life. Just a background to my intentions and interests. i initially graduated intending to go to PA school. With having to work and go to school, I’ve grown to like the idea of being financially independent and couldn’t fathom building the mountain of debt doctor’s get from school. I needed patient care hours so during my gap year I volunteered/shadowed at a free clinic while working full time as a CNA. I met some DO Clinical students there and speaking with them felt like I was talking to superstars! Hearing and watching them go through their clinical work, I was amazed with what they were doing and they all told me based on my resume and interests that I should definitely be a doctor not a PA due to the extensive scope of practice and that the debt can be paid of within a few years if you scale back enough. I was excited by this and dreamed of becoming a doctor for the first time, I borrowed MCAT prep books from a friend of mine and started studying. That winter I picked up another job to help me pay bills, because I wasn’t making enough as a CNA and my boyfriend was unemployed. Between call ins and having the other job, I was working 60+ hours/week for a month. Working like that with little sleep or time to do anything made me realize, even though I was capable, I didn’t want to work like that for the rest of my life, so I went back to considering PA. Soon after realizing my path, I became pregnant with my first and it made me double down on PA, because it would give me more time to spend with my family.While working as a CNA I met a doctor there that took me under his wing. He even told me that I should pursue being a doctor based on my interests and even with a child it was still possible for me. I held firm with my decision to be a PA but I started having doubts again. After my baby was born, reality set in more, it made me realize that I want my child to have more than I did as a kid. I want to be there for soccer games and I want to actually have the money to put her in ballet or fund whatever she wants to do. I don’t want to be an absent parent at all. But i know the kind of person I am. I am a terrible workaholic and despite liking free time with family, I know that when needed I will always give myself to work. To this day I’m shadowing ,studying for the GRE, and working my other job during my bonding leave with my baby when it’s supposed to be for bonding! Lol. Being a doctor, you’re needed all the time and the job usually calls for long hours. I know if I was to choose it, that I would give myself to that job and not enough to my family. That is why I chose PA first because of the less responsibility, and by nature it is less involved than doctor. However, I’m afraid that I will regret it when my kid is all grown up and won’t need me anymore. She’ll be 18 when I’m 41.
I just want to know for many of you who were undecided, what was the deciding factor for you? What helped you come to a conclusion of what you wanted in life? A lot of doctors say that they do have time with their families, but in your experience Do you believe that? I’d like to work the regular 9-5 one day. to this day I still have 2 jobs and would very much like to see an end in sight to start building with family but I am willing to go the doctor route if I know that at the end of the tunnel I’ll be working less than 50 hours/week with time to be with my family.

also those who considered the NP route feel free to contribute as well. I’ve been thinking of that too because I can actually work and earn money for my family while working toward my degree. I’m all over the place I know lol

I'm currently a nurse who will be matriculating to medical school in the summer so I thought I would weigh in. Being an RN is an all encompassing career. You have to go to nursing school, really dedicate your time to it and do clinicals, when you graduate you'll do a nurse residency for several months in a hospital and will spend about 1-2 years being stressed and really acclimating to the environment of being a nurse and responsible for caring for often time very ill patients. Becoming a nurse practitioner is something you do when you are an experienced nurse, often 5 years of experience minimum if you're hoping to actually land a job in a clinic/hospital. Nursing/NP focus is more holistic and grounded in nursing, less so medicine. I believe that as an NP, you could have a 9-5 career and be able to spend time with your family and feel fulfilled, but it is also not the easiest path, as nothing in healthcare is. If you want to be a physician, go straight into medical school. It took me 2.5 years to complete the medical school prerequisites in order to end up applying to medical school, that involved me cutting back my work hours and really struggling financially. Being a nurse is fulfilling, but an arduous job that will completely drain you after a 12-13 hours hospital shift, you will find it difficult to work 3 12's and go to NP school. Do what is best for you, whether it be NP or MD/DO, but I would never recommend doing both.