Non Trad Personal Statement Help

[FrkyBgStok]

First off, I am writing one PS for DO and MD schools.

I need a little help. I am working on my PS and I am not sure what warrants qualifying material. Here is a breakdown of what I have now:

Intro (need an attention getter, but telling that my journey is long)
Telling about my beginning college experiences and previous career and what I pursued and why.
Why I changed my mind and why I have so many credits.
My interest in science with addressing my biggest weakness.
Iffy paragraph talking about working 2 jobs while attending school full time and why.
Shadowing Experience with a pediatrician indicating an interest in primary care.

That's what I have now. I am sitting at about 4300 characters. It needs much work, but I am questioning what I should include. Some things I am not sure about:

Working as a patient transporter: great clinical experience, not great for portraying "why medicine."
Volunteering at my daughters school. More of a "throw it in there" thing.
Maybe talking about my time driving a semi over the road and seeing the need for health education to truckers.

Any help from anyone? Are there some things I should cut out? Are there some things I should really focus on for importance? Things that really set me apart. That is the general flow now, so is there anything I should move? Thanks for the help. I really appreciate it. If anyone is willing to read it as well, awesome. No need to post if you will, i can track down the "PS readers" threads.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[StudyShy]

I'd be interested in helping out. I have one to read before yours, but if you want to PM me what you have I will look at it.

 

[FrkyBgStok]

You rock thanks. I hope to have a rough draft by the end of this week so I will definitely send it your way.

 

[Quik]

Introduce your main theme, what makes you unique and sets you apart from other applicants. Avoid cliche statements and methods for your attention getter.Throughout the statement, use different nuances to reconnect your reader back this intro or 'main theme.'

keep the early college experience explanation short, unless you have a way of making it a central piece of your statement, but I don't see how you'd do that in a way I'd recommend. I wouldn't care why you have so many credits, but include a short, compelling statement on why you've changed your mind from your previous career. However, don't distract the reader from your main theme. Working two jobs while attending school will frame your fortitude, how you've been tested to manage time and rigorous study, and can handle the rigors of med school.

Including the medical transport experience is sort of essential, but framing it in such a way that you're not trying to prop it up as something really setting you apart from other applicants. Down-play it, explain what you saw, what you found interesting, and why if at all, that motivated your pursuit of medicine. How did your previous career motivate your pursuit of medicine? What was the truck driving experience like, how does that population relate to the general population, as far as medical care goes, again, how did that motivate you?

Volunteering at your daughter's school can say a lot about nurturing youth and educating the next generation. Use that, possibly as a lead in to your desired specialty, in your case, primary care. I think this should flow with your pediatrition shadowing.

How have all of these experiences shaped your desire to pursue medicine? Why do you KNOW you're deserving and qualified to receive a seat in this med school, why this med school. Finally, what is your main theme again, and how, without directly saying so, are you different from every other 1-8 thousand applicants they have to screen.

The above is laid out in the sequence I'd present my information. I'd try and limit it to standard essay format, five paragraphs total. Showing you can write and convey ideas concisely should say a lot about your communication skills. Something they can't really gather from the rest of your application. Remember to make every word one of substance. If it doesn't have a purpose, find a way to remove it without drastically changing the meaning. Think to yourself, will someone looking to reject me have to suffer through this piece, or is it organized well enough not to bore them, leave them lost or missing the point, or dragging themselves through your excessive use of adjectives? When they put it down, and read through their next 1000 essays, can the remember who you are by your main theme.

 

[LegendaryPunk]

While I don't have much experience in the way of writing personal statements for med school applications, I was an English major and writing in tutor in college; at the very least I can do a thorough grammar check and make sure the outline / layout flows well.

 

[aerodoc]

Remember that your personal statement doesn't have to necessarily contain all of your information or each step of your journey. As tempting as it is to talk about everything, I think the best personal statement is sort of a narrative that ADDS to the rest of your application rather than sums it up. Keep in mind you have a chance to explain each of your clinical and educational experiences in other parts of the application.

If I were you, I would leave out most of the talk about patient transport, this is experience most other people will have and it doesn't set you apart.

From the information you've given, I think you should actually write the personal statement about your trucking experience. This is something I think most people would be interested to read about, it DEFINITELY sets you apart, and as you mentioned, you can tie it into your interest in studying medicine. If I were an adcom and saw a well written personal statement about that, I'd be tempted to invite you for an interview just so you could tell me some interesting stories from the road!

I'd make this your primary storyline, and support it later on with your other experiences by mentioning them briefly and how they have strengthened your resolve.

I hope that helps!

 

[MaryGoRound]

What do you want the committee to know about you? What do you need to tell them that they won't get from your application? What is your story? To me, a personal statement is the place to say "I faced this challenge, I learned from this experience, this is how I've grown since I graduated college and THESE are the reasons you should let me into your medical school".

It sounds like you have a lot of good ideas for your PS, but they don't all seem to tie together at this point. I would think about narrowing your list down and focusing more on what you want the committee to know about you as a person rather than all of the things you have done.