Official: I really need a hug

[Tweetie_bird]

I want to make this an offical thread for those people that are feeling broken down by this whole process. If you feel like you want to express your internal dialogue, feel free to post on here. I just need to vent.

I just ran into a friend of mine that I tutored with (we both helped volunteer) and she is super nice and MSII. When we ran into each other, we were happy to see one another except then she blurted out..."I thougth you would be on your way already..(to med school)." Yah, I was two years ago and then I had some personal problems so I took some time off to relax. I am 24 and feeling like a sore loser. I feel like none of what I have done in the last two years has been enough to be in med school. I am double guessing myself. I am jobless (well, I only have a part time job) and almost in debt with secondaries. I have spent $2000 already. I am about to be married in Jan and that is about the only thing that I feel happy about currently, but even that has me filled with anxiety. I suffer insomnia because of all this tension. the job I used to love a few months ago is becoming a tedious task and I can't concentrate. Although I am happy for my friends who are currently in school, I can't help but wonder what I did wrong to not apply earlier. Was I not mature enough? Nope, I wasn't. Was I not sure enough about myself? Yes, I wasn't confident. Did I not have a good resume? No Tweetie, you didn't.

But after two years of hopefully maturing, I still feel a bit this way. I know I want to strife to be the best, my question is, do I have what it takes? I have the inner faith, but I am my own critic. I beat myself down. Nobody else does. Most people think I have it all together, but I am just as scared and nervous as them. It's all a facade to try and convince myself that I have it all together.

As I see all these 4.0 GPA'ers and 45 MCATers (exaggeration, but it seems everybody is so darned good) one nagging question stays in my mind--WILL I MAKE IT? Is being mediocre at grades THAT bad? Is passion and love for your work not enough to cut it? And once I get in, will I be a good physician. The kind patients smile when they see. I want to be the kind of doc I am afraid I will not measure up to. Being idealistic is hard on me.

I really need a nap.

 

[snowballz]

HI Tweetie,

Keep your head up. You will be okay. I think medical schools should view your perseverance and determination as something positive.

Also, I think it's interesting you say something about all those 4.0'ers and 45 MCAT'ers....I think this has something that's never been brought up. This is the internet. No one is going to know if you bump up your GPA and MCAT a few points. People can embellish and I think it might be prevalent here. Even I tell everyone I have a 3.9 GPA when in fact it's mathematically a low 3.7. Just makes me feel better..and positive thinking does wonders!!!!

Keep going. That's the advice I give everyone..just keep going and never stop.

Alicia

 

[dpark74]

Hey Tweetie,

Venting definitely helps and I hope it has helped somewhat. Everyone feels the same way you do...whether they admit it or not. Especially since you have the passion, it is easy to put all eggs in one basket during this process and feel insecure and vulnerable.

I feel somewhat the way you do, but remember it is not the end of the world if things don't work out...there's always tomorrow (next year), love of family (your fiance), etc.

I have found that prayer has helped me tremendously. Sleeping isn't that bad anymore and I have learned to smell the roses every once in awhile.

Also, smiling helps even though you don't feel like doing so.

 

[Woots32]

HUG!!!

I'm pretty new to SDN, but from all i've read, I KNOW you'll make an excellent doctor! I think that everyone's stressed, not matter what their stats. I feel like I'm in an old Looney Toons cartoon, and there's someone holding one of those giant anvils over my head, and I'm just waiting for it to drop. Your passion and dedication are going to come out. HANG IN THERE!

 

[jennyw17]

Tweetie, try not to stress so much, i'm sure you'll be fine. About the debt, we're all feeling that. Even those of us with jobs are feeling like we're poor due to this high priced process. As for the grades, I wouldn't worry about it to much. I've mentioned this before but I went to a small non competitve university and I know people who've gotten in with all sorts of scores from there....one with a 3.75 got in with a 25MCAT (along with being the president of 90% of all school organizations for all 4 years), and she got into MCW and Loyola. I know anothe who had a 3.4 and a 28MCAT and got into Univercity of cincinatti, University of MN, and loyola. But the whole point is just try not to stress and do awesome at your interviews and i'm sure you'll be fine. Just stop worrying and killing yourself over all of this, because seriously stressing wont change the minds of any of the admission committees. Although, i say that i understand that it's just not that easy, because i'm very stress also.

 

[Su4n2]

Hi Tweetie,
i feel the same way. we are the same age, have the same gpa, and even though i am waiting on scores, i think we will have v.similar MCAT. i feel so behind, i didn't even send out my AMCAS yet becasue i don't want to waste money and fear that i will have to retake the test. i am v.ambitious w/most friends also pre-med. all of them now are MS2's and i feel like crap. i feel like i am left behind, and the sadness is like a pit. btw, i got married a year ago, and being engaged was pretty stressful. on top of being scared of not getting in, im also starting to think about when i will have kids. after a visit to MOMMD, i realized that there's no right time, not after residency and practice is just as difficult. i am so out of it, that i skipped my mph classes tonite to just sit home and be sad. here's me giving you an official hug and some empathy. i know it will be ok. btw, one of the classes that i am missing right now is crisis intervention. sometimes i sit in that class, and want to give them this whole story to intervene on. hang in there!!!! Susan

 

[relatively prime]

Tweetie... I do think you will get into medical school. That said, I think you'd feel a lot better if you accepted the fact that even if you don't get in... it's not the end of the world. You seem like a person who puts her heart and soul into what she does... and so no matter what you do (be it medicine or something else) I'm sure you'll make a difference in people's lives.

Good luck

 

[Centrum]

^ A hug for everyone that needs one.

 

[athena21]

Centrum,
you always find a way to PAD with those smilies!!!!

j/k

 

[ocean11]

Hi Tweetie.... believe me I'm in the same boat as you... I'm 23 and thought I'd me in meds a long time ago.... I had some personal health probs.... surgery and all and well now I'm o.k but yeah I'm taking this year off and I'm in such an odd position.... well maybe not odd but I wouldn't call it great.... I don't feel I can work full time because of all these essays/secondaries/interviews I don't want to commit a 9-5 because I am gonna have to interview soon... I applied to MANY schools trust me... with a 3.5 GPA and waiting for NEW MCAT scores... right now I'm at how shall I say... crossroads.... I don't know man.... so many of my friends got in already... my other friends are working or are in grad school... but I'm just bumming around... going out once in a while... but let me tell you the truth... I don't even want to go out that often and hear how 'everyone' is doing... how great this one is or when someone asks me "What are you going to do next year?" I don't know were I'll be.... honestly though my biggest fear is getting rejected this year because if I do... I'm going to the carribean for sure... probably St. George, AUC or Saba.... because I can't wait another year... not at my age... fu$k if it was up to me I'd be in meds... thus I would be relaxed and happy, the only thing on my mind now is medicine medicine medicine and getting in.... I'm obsessed....

saddest thing... I envy my good friend who has a 2.1 GPA, she just got in to Saba and has NO choice! she has to go there for obvious reasons.... I just wish I knew were I was going next year.... Man.... I'm so afraid....

But I am a strong believer in GOD and know that GOD is with me and I want to take this opportunity to pray for all of you

AMEN

 

[Lanie]

Tweetie,

First I have to say thank you. You are always such an informative and friendly member. It's always such a pleasure to see your posts!

Second, I know how you are feeling. I think this whole process creates such self-doubt in most (if not all) applicants. It's really hard to stay postive. I know, my poor husband has had to hear all of my ranting and has had to see me cry nearly everyday. There are days I want to cheer because things are going my way and then there are days I want to give up and start living my life again. I'm 26 and it's really hard to see all of my friends able to have babies, buy new cars and homes and go on vacations. They all have their lives moving forward and I hate having to be sitting stagnant at the mercy of the sadistic medical school application process. But enough whining. I have a good GPA ( not stellar) and my MCAT scores are okay. I realize that I will probably have to reapply next year. It definitey frustrates me because this whole process is both financially and emotionally expensive, but it is worth while. I want to be a physician. I see it as the only thing I would truly be happy doing. I have a degree in business and found the whole field void of what I wanted out of a job (ie. more than just a paycheck). Medicine is my desire and it's worth all of the crap I've had to endure and more. Stick with it Tweetie. Rant all you want here. We're all ready to listen!!! But don't give up!!!! It will happen eventually!!!

 

[hokiedoc]

Hug Tweetie!!!
You are such a great person! We are all here for you on SDN. Its been a rough week it will get better! Smiles and cheers!

 

[Tweetie_bird]

Hi guys,
you don't know how lucky I feel to have people like you that listen to me. You're all non-judgemental, inspiring, encouraging and good hearted bunch. May you achieve your dreams and fly high!!

I did some cooking today for almost an hour and I gotta admit, it's like therapy. Some of you mentioned how you talk to your husband/bf/fiance about this and I really feel for them. I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've cried to my fiance and he sits there and listens to all my venting.

Today was a new low for me because one of my LORs got lost in the mail. I feel like i'm already behind, and then this happens. I guess this is why I felt beaten down. This is going to be a long, ardous process. Let's keep this post alive for those of us that need it. And if you feel like venting to me, I'm here to listen. IT's the least i can do.

Thank you for being there for me. You don't know how much it means to have a comforting group of people to run to when things seem bad.

Tweetie

 

[confewshz]

Hello Tweetie,

Hang in there girlfriend. I am in the same boat as you, as are most of us in the forum. I am going to paste an excerpt of a post I saw on MOMMD forums. The posters' nickname is Lori. Everytime I get down and out, I read this post to help get me out of the dumps:

"I believe that God has a plan for all of us. If we put in enough blood and sweat our "course in life" will become clear. I did all I can. The rest is in God's hands. If I don't get an interview or acceptance letter, all I can do is try again. I will cross that road when it arrives. Life never has any types of guarantees. All you can do is work hard and hope the rest will fall into place- one way or another. Try not to give up. Even if I don't get an acceptance letter, I can always say I tried. I don't have to go through life wondering what could have been if I only gave it my best. You will never have to worry about the "what ifs" in life if you try (even if you fail). Just think how wonderful it will be if an acceptance letter arrives at your door. "

 

[MD2b06]

Please learn to chill. As bad as the stress and uncertainty you're feeling right now is, it just gets worse once medical school starts. Believe me, what you're feeling right now is minimal in comparison to the stress that you will feel once you're in med school. I'm not saying this to be mean, but you really need to find a way to keep your emotions in check. Don't let your highs be too high and don't let your lows be too low. If you cry over a letter of rec, what are you going to do when you fail an exam? Medical school can be mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting. I know the process is rough, but please, for your sake, just take a step back. SDN is not the best place to be for all applicants. I know everyone wants to know the latest about all the schools they're interested in, but I really feel that this place just increases many people's anxiety when fellow applicants are interviewing at 15 different schools and have acceptances at all the places where you haven't even heard from. I'm not saying leave, just step away for a few days and focus on other things. Get your mind off the process because it really can consume you.

 

[amelie]

you have been a real source of encouragement and help to me, tweetie. i (like so many of the of the above posters) am right there with you. except, rather than being 24 or 25 or even 26, i turn 28 in about an hour and a half. as i was bellyaching yesterday, i am unemployed. and currently without any prospects whatsoever. no interviews. and some legitimate fears about these upcoming mcat scores.

i could go on and on...but i'll spare you. my point (as tangential as it may be...) is that you obviously have the coping skills, the emotional resources, and the necessary compassion and desire to get to medical school...and once there, become a fine doctor.

sometimes i tend to see obstacles as stumbling blocks instead of stepping stones. but they really are stepping stones.

so take a deep breath and remember that there are all kinds of people on the other side of this electronic void that are rooting for you.

 

[Nefertari]

Joining in this group hug party you guys got going over here!

Gosh, I appreciate so much that we are all exactly @ the same emotional stage. These 2ndaries are sucking all the life & creativity out of me. I really need to take a day's break from writing another f****** meaningful mini-essay in 500 characters!!!

 

[ocean11]

Amelie.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY 28 is still young you have nothing to worry about.... I hope you have an amazing day today and that all your wishes will come true

 

[Katie]

I think it's great that you can come on here and express your feelings in a constructive way. I wish I was better at that kind of thing. I wrote a whole message on another thread venting, and it made me feel better; then SDN crashed and my hour-long message got deleted. I sympathize with your situation, I had to apply twice, then sat around during the summer on 6 waitlists utterly desparing and depressed that I was going to have to go through the horrendous process a third time. People did not have to tell me to not get my hopes up; I had not one ounce of hope. Everyone kept saying, "oh, don't worry, you'll get in the third time, it's not that bad." Well, they were wrong, I did not get in the third time; I was pulled off the waitlist the very day I was set to submit AMCAS for the third time! I'm not trying to rub my joy in anyone else's face, just to show that you should never give up hope! yes, it will suck if you have to apply two or three times or take the MCAT more than once, but it's worth it in the end and you WILL succeed if you are willing to do what it takes.

that being said, I do agree that med school is stressful and will not be your salvation most of the time during first and second year. and when personal problems come up in your life during med school it can really kick your @$$. I'm currently stressing (not sleeping) over a 4-exam block, being lonely due to the loss of a friendship that ended rather traumatically recently (although good riddance to the friend in this case), and the fact that I think my meds are off cause I feel $#-++y and depressed most of the time. I want to feel better but I feel like I'm drowning. I keep trying to get in touch with my shrink but to no avail.. anyway, I apologize for going off on that tangent; I guess I need a hug too.. would be really nice to wake up next to someone in the mornings; good for you for getting married soon anyway, good luck to all of you; keep your chin up and do whatever it takes, write letters of interest, keep building your resume and experiences, and ignore people who try to kick you and put you down b/c you are not the "perfect" applicant or student. I ran into plenty of these people along the way before I got in, and there are still plenty of them on SDN, but don't let them annoy you like I let them (I'll admit I am an irritable bitch at times!)

BTW, go to a school that has lots of patient contact during the first 2 years if possible; that is what will keep you going (IMO).

 

[SMW]

{{{{{{{Tweetie_bird}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{dpark74}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{woots32}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{jennyw17}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{Su4n2}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{ocean11}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{Lanie}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{confuwshz}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{amelie}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{Nefertari}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{Katie}}}}}}}

 

[Random Access]

Tweetie,

{hug} You're there for all of us. I'm glad we can be there for you. And I'm glad that your fiance is good at handling venting.

-RA

 

[Tweetie_bird]

Hi again guys--
I must say that it's nice knowing that I am in the same boat as most of you. It's so good to see that there are a group of people that are as vulnerable and ready to speak out as me. Although I don't envy your situations, I am glad I have you guys by my side.

I guess we need to all just take it one day at a time. And when things seem low, we always have this thread to post on. Thank you to those of you that contacted me to share your experiences. This is truly a grueling process. I have friends applying to other grad school programs and I envy them. It seems they have it much easier. Then again, this is a choice we have made in our lives. No body is wanting to make us into a physician but ourselves. We have a goal to attain and no matter how long or hard it is, we have to walk the path to achieve it.

It's good knowing you're all by my side.

To Katie--you've been such a good source of inspiration and encouragement. I am glad you're back on SDN because your presence was really missed. Btw: the part about having more patient contact in the first two years, I totally feel you on that one. I spoke to a friend of mine and that's EXACTLY what he said. Needless to say, I agree with you on that.

Amelie, Su4n2, and Lanie--girls, I know exactly what you're talking about. Isn't it nice to have somebody to call on when you're feeling down? I hope you guys are using all your resources as much as you can, we certainly need it.

Dpark--you have no idea how many times I find myself praying in a day. I think meditation and spirituality (sprinkled with a bit of hope and positive feelings) tends to make me feel better.

One more person mentioned something about having to try hard and knowing you gave it your best shot. The quote from MomMD. That was AWESOME! Thank you for sharing it with me, it really put things into perspective.

If any of you guys feel like sharing your feelings, please feel free to do so. I think the more we bond on this, the easier this process will seem to get. And perhaps once in a while, we may also celebrate the interviews and acceptances as they roll in (AMEN!).

Good luck guys. Keep this thread alive as you need it. I am sure we all will at some point in this cycle.

Tweetie

 

[bruinmojo]

Sing along...

"Don't worry....... be happy!...."

I can just tell from your posts in the past several months that not only are you a smart young lady, but also the loveable attitude that patients like to see in a doctor. Keep your hopes up.

Though, I understand the anxiety you are going through. Going through this application process is one of the worst experiences in your life. You are basically blurting out everything about you into the public, and you are having a few people judge you if would be good enough to be a physician.

Everytime I open up a rejection letter, even if I didn't feel too strongly about that school, it just feels like "Hey!!, why didn't they like me. What the hell do they want?!!!"

and then I continue cussing at that school and will forever dislike the institution.


You will get in , it is only a matter of time. Though time is one of the most annoying things. There is so much patience that one can handle. But I know for a fact that sometimes the sweetest accomplishments are those that have been done after such a long time.

GOOD LUCK to YA!!!!

 

[Sweet Tea]

Tweetie,

If you are anything like the person you are on SDN, you will make a wonderful doctor. Your caring and compassion for others really shines through, and you seem to pour your whole heart into everything you do. Stick with it and you will get there. I don't have any cool similies to give you, so a simple {{{{{{tweetie_bird}}}}}} hug from me will have to do!!

 

[2badr]

Big hug Tweetie!!!!

 

[Blitzkrieg]

{{{{tweetie}}}}, who is one of the best SDNer's around!


we need to have acceptance parties

 

[Tweetie_bird]

I'm bumping this up for shammy because I think he/she could really use a hug.

 

[shamthis]

HUG

I'm a guy.

 

[Ninjaboy]

I'm not a guy hugger, but I still think you're going to be o.k. The interviews will come, I'm sure of it.

 

[shamthis]

Thanks boss- my whole story wasn't a call for pity... I just want to know what's going on.

Ya know what I'm sayin'?

 

[UCLA Paratrooper]

Tweetie!

You are truly one of the most caring SDNers around!!! I truly believe that altough things may be rough right now, you are going to make an exceptional talented doctor. Just keep your head up and drive on!

I was also feeling a little depressed yesterday. Let me vent...Not only is my GPA sub 3.5, but I'm also an August MCATer. Everything would be OK, except that if I don't get into medical school I have to go to the Army for 4 years. Not that I don't want to go to the Army, but I really want to go to medical school first. If I don't get into medical school and go to the Army for 4 years, I have to re-take the MCAT and then reapply way later. Any with my ROTC professor not really liking me these days, I might go into the Army with a job that I don't want at all...everything just kinda sucks!

But yesterday I went to go work out and I went on a little run today so I feel a little better. Good luck to all the 2003 SDNers with their applications & interviews!!!

UCLA Paratrooper

 

[Veilside]

Originally posted by UCLA Paratrooper


I was also feeling a little depressed yesterday. Let me vent...Not only is my GPA sub 3.5, but I'm also an August MCATer. Everything would be OK, except that if I don't get into medical school I have to go to the Army for 4 years. Not that I don't want to go to the Army, but I really want to go to medical school first. If I don't get into medical school and go to the Army for 4 years, I have to re-take the MCAT and then reapply way later. Any with my ROTC professor not really liking me these days, I might go into the Army with a job that I don't want at all...everything just kinda sucks!

UCLA Paratrooper

ouch...that really sucks man!!! hang in there

 

[shamthis]

UCLA Paratroop- we've spoken previously. We share similar experiences. My suggestion: hold your head up. Once them August MCAT results come out you'll be in a whole new ballgame.

It's too easy.

 

[Tweetie_bird]

Wow. Here I was crying about missing one year and you guys have it much harder. {{{{HUG}}}} UCLA--I suppose I can't say anything much to console you but help you realize that often times, there is a greater plan for all of us. We don't know the entire plan yet. We just have to play with what's being thrown at us. And let me tell you that you seem to be playing it real well.

I see you as being a very diligent person; wanting to plan 4 years of army and then coming back and doing the MCATs again to get into medical school. How could this NOT impress the Ad Coms? In fact, if I were you, I'd tell them the position I am in and let them know that even IF you don't get in this year, this is what you will go through for the next for years and they will be seeing your driven face again. I think the odds are in your favor this year, if you mention it to them. Now, this is the kind of resilience and perseverence we like to see in our peers. It makes me happy that you want it so much that you're willing to go through this tough route. KUDOS TO YOU!!

This thread is really helping a lot of us. I urge you all to post any of your daily trivial internal dialogues you have, so we may support one another through this messy process.

On a positive side: my letter is finally done today. Hopefully the package will be sent out by tomorrow.

 

[UCLA Paratrooper]

Thanks Tweetie!!!

You're always there to cheer up all of us SDNers! Good luck with everything!!!

UCLA Paratrooper

 

[dpy]

hey ucla paratrooper,

I think I spoke with you once before...

I was in ROTC for about a year before deciding to quit mainly because of the time I would have to serve if I couldn't get an educational deferment. like you..it's not that I don't want to serve, but I much rather finish med school first (maybe even get an Army scholarship) and then join as a doctor.

I admire and thank your commitment to the military (part of me wish I was still doing it...especially after seeing the cadets on campus the other day) I hope everything will work out for you and the rest of the SDNers. Best of luck and go Army!

dpy

 

[Stan]

Hi Tweetie and everyone else that needs a hug!

My hospice patient wrote this poem, and I thought I would share it with you. Hang in there!!!

Hugs

It's wondrous what a hug can do.
A hug can cheer you when you're blue.
A hug can say, "I love you so "
Or, "I hate to see you go."
A hug is "Welcome back again,"
And "Great to see you! Where've you been?"
A hug can soothe a small child's pain,
And bring a rainbow after rain.
The hug, there's just no doubt about it-
We scarcely could survive without it!
A hug delights and warms and charms,
It must be why God gave us arms.
Hugs are great for fathers and mothers,
Sweet for sisters, swell for brothers;
And chances are you favorite aunts
Love them more than potted plants.
Kittens crave them, Puppies love them;
Heads of states are not above them.
A hug can break the language barrier,
And make travel so much merrier.
No need to fret about you store of 'em;
The more you give, the more there's more of 'em.
So stretch those arms without delay
And give someone a hug today!

 

[Sweet Tea]

bumping this up b/c i need a hug.

it has nothing to do with pre-med stuff, so i won't waste your time elaborating it, but i think i might be losing one of my best and oldest friends. it just makes me so sad and i don't know what to do.

 

[chopsuey]

{{{sweet tea}}} i was about to post a similar thing...just a sh**ty night for no real reason....even with the season premiere of my favorite show! well, these days come and go.

as dar williams would say, "here's wishing you the bluest skies and hoping that something better comes to find you.
hoping all the verses rhyme and the very best of choruses to follow all the doubt and sadness....i know that better things are on their way.

"be an optimist instead, and somehow happiness will find. forget what happened yesterday, i know that better things are on their way.


"you've got a lot of good things happening up ahead. the past and gone and done its stead. here's to what the future brings. i know tomorrow you'll find better things."


(ok, those lyrics might be a little off, but you get the idea)

 

[racergirl]

Hugs for Tweety and others who need it. I remember the process sucks ROYAL, no gettin' around it. Try not to wear your heart on your sleeve and take every set-back so hard. I know, I know, easier said than done, right? But I SWEAR, years from now you'll laugh out loud when you remember how upset you got over a lost letter!

I PROMISE if you don't get in this year tweetie, you will the next. I also promise that though having to apply twice seems like hell now, in the long run it won't be--many of my classmates applied twice, and they're fine--no scars apparent! good luck and try to relax.

p.s. (but I think you'll get in this year )!

 

[Tweetie_bird]

You are so kind, Racergirl. It's nice seeing this overwhelming response from people on SDN. Thank you.

I wanna announce that Shammy got an interview! So go congratulate him.

And Sweet Tea, I've been there and done that. Losing your old and dearest friend is probably one of the hardest things to go through. I certainly know how you feel, I went through that about 3 weeks before my MCATs. Bad timing. Feel free to vent here if you need. This thread is not just for people who need to vent about premed issues. We're here if you need us.

 

[ocean11]

{{{{{{{Sweet tea}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{Tweetie_bird}}}}}}}

You two will be just fine, keep the faith

 

[cbpremed]

Hi Tweetie,
I am relatively new to SDN. From reading your posts you seem to be very sensitive and caring, which are good qualities. Of course you should ALWAYS keep your head up, because the impossible is possible with enough faith and belief. I have a GPA in the low 3's and a 30 on MCAT, and it makes no sense to me why I have interviews now. I know that it was not me who did this, but that it was a blessing from the Lord. So, anything is possible, and keep pursuing your dreams. Peace and blessings to all....
oh, and hugs!

 

[Sweet Tea]

{{{{BIG HUG}}}} to chopsuey, ocean11, and tweetie!! thanks guys-- i needed that.

 

[Tweetie_bird]

I just got two rejections today. Case Western and Tulane. I feel like crap. Maybe I am just not meant for medical school. Maybe it is just not in my fate. Why else am I having to try so damn hard and still not be able to make it. I am seeing obstacles everywhere I go.

And I can't help but wonder if God is ever going to give me a break. I need a break so desperately. 20 secondaries; 7 rejections; and not a single interview. Not even at my state school. I wanted to say that my passion and drive is enough to make up for numbers. I saw my recommendations and I could have bet my life on the fact that they could get me in. All my mentors have faith in me and want to see me at my state school. Yet, ......I am losing it in myself. I really don't want to hear "keep that chin up" right now. I don't know what will console me. What I need is a bloody revenge; I need an interview to prove to my low self esteem that I am good enough to make my dream come true. I need to take the bull by the horns and throw it bloody on the mat proving it that I WILL be a physician someday.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

Sadly,
Tweetie

 

[lola]

tweetie,
i know how you feel. i just got back from a weekend away, and i'm already feeling anxiety about the admissions process. i was hoping for no news or good news but instead returned to an e-mail from nymc saying my app is not complete so frustrating! especially since my application is complete unless they want me to send in a letter from a prof in my graduate school major dept. it is a requirement, but the guy on the phone when i called said it wasn't necessary if i turned in one from another dept. i mean, what does it matter if i turned in a biostsats letter instead of an epi letter?? so now my app has just been sitting incomplete. guess i will have to call tomorrow. i'm so sick of all this jumping through hoops. i'm too old for this crap.
last week i was seriously considering giving this whole thing up. i'm so sick of the anxiety it causes me and how badly it makes me feel. sometimes i think it's just going to be another 7 years of this if i get in, and why would i want to do that to myself?
anyway, chin up! we will get through this. i think...

 

[SouthernGirl]

These are things that it helps for me, at least, to remember:

It only takes one.

There is a plan for all of us.

Faith can move mountains.

Waiting is the hardest part.

Feeling angry is better than feeling defeated, because anger is a good motivator

Take comfort in those who love you, because having a good support system makes it possible to survive this awful process, and I wouldn't trade my friends and family for a acceptance at any med school in the world...and that makes me so lucky already.

We're all rooting for you.

 

[Premed2003]

Tweetie,

Have you called these schools to find out why you're getting rejected? You should just so you know the reason and maybe you could improve your apps at other schools -- like send them an update or another essay, or whatever is necessary.

What were your stats? If I remember correctly from previous posts, it was 3.5ish and 27 right? Those aren't that bad. I'm sure you'll get in somewhere. You seem to get rejections from really good schools, and you haven't heard from the lower schools right? So you'll probably get interviews there

 

[Nefertari]

Hey guys, the stress is killing me too. Usually, i'm pretty healthy, but since sept, I've been sick so much from app stress. First, I got this excruciating abdominal pain/gas for like 3 days & could feel my intestines everytime i sat down. Then, the worst ear infection & most excruciating pain. I took a full course of antibiotics, then on the last day, broke out all over in a weird rash that itched like hell (my liver had enough). This rash took almost 2 weeks to go away, and then i just caught a cold.

Actually, now that i've written all that down, it sounds funny, but at the time, I felt so ****ty. Plus, I was working & trying to finish 2ndaries as well while drugged up w/ Benadryl! These were such weird conditions that I usu. don't get, that i'm sure it was stress sickness. Yeah, this waiting stress is the worst torture--i'd rather have my hair pulled out one by one. Even while studying for mcat, i never got this sick. I've promised myself that i'm going to pay more attention to my health the rest of this year.

Well, Tweetie & Lola, these low points are part of our past & future experiences & consolation is sometimes not within reach when we're going thru it. Hopefully, they'll be enough high points to come as well so that we don't become bitter. One good thing I see is that the whole process carries with it a built-in lesson on humility (& we premeds, who have excelled @ almost everything we do up to now, surely need it for the sake of our future patients).

 

[mightymouseal]

Tweetie,
You have one thing going in your advantage, it sounds like you have a heart and have a soul. Take a step back and look at those 4.0 and 45 MCAT students you described, do you think they've lived life to an extent anywhere near where you have? I actually envy you, you are mature enough to know what's going, to have tasted real life. Some of us are just students, and everything we do somehow becomes supplementary to that. I would hope that adcoms understand this, it would be a real shame to leave compassionate people out in favor of more academically aesthetic students with no emotion.