I want to make this an offical thread for those people that are feeling broken down by this whole process. If you feel like you want to express your internal dialogue, feel free to post on here. I just need to vent. I just ran into a friend of mine that I tutored with (we both helped volunteer) and she is super nice and MSII. When we ran into each other, we were happy to see one another except then she blurted out..."I thougth you would be on your way already..(to med school)." Yah, I was two years ago and then I had some personal problems so I took some time off to relax. I am 24 and feeling like a sore loser. I feel like none of what I have done in the last two years has been enough to be in med school. I am double guessing myself. I am jobless (well, I only have a part time job) and almost in debt with secondaries. I have spent $2000 already. I am about to be married in Jan and that is about the only thing that I feel happy about currently, but even that has me filled with anxiety. I suffer insomnia because of all this tension. the job I used to love a few months ago is becoming a tedious task and I can't concentrate. Although I am happy for my friends who are currently in school, I can't help but wonder what I did wrong to not apply earlier. Was I not mature enough? Nope, I wasn't. Was I not sure enough about myself? Yes, I wasn't confident. Did I not have a good resume? No Tweetie, you didn't. But after two years of hopefully maturing, I still feel a bit this way. I know I want to strife to be the best, my question is, do I have what it takes? I have the inner faith, but I am my own critic. I beat myself down. Nobody else does. Most people think I have it all together, but I am just as scared and nervous as them. It's all a facade to try and convince myself that I have it all together. As I see all these 4.0 GPA'ers and 45 MCATers (exaggeration, but it seems everybody is so darned good) one nagging question stays in my mind--WILL I MAKE IT? Is being mediocre at grades THAT bad? Is passion and love for your work not enough to cut it? And once I get in, will I be a good physician. The kind patients smile when they see. I want to be the kind of doc I am afraid I will not measure up to. Being idealistic is hard on me. I really need a nap.