Opinions on whether the message I'm trying to convey makes sense

[von Matterhorn]

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In my PS, I pretty much structured it as:

1) What thoughts I had leading up to my decision to apply to med school

2) How certain experiences solidified the choice for me

3) How the experiences impacted my views on medicine

At this point, I have what I'm thinking is a controversial ending. I'm a low-stat applicant (3.5 gpa, 28 MCAT). My GPA is a bit of a mess - I have a C in an algebra class at a community college, then an A in a calculus class at a university. I have a B in general bio, an A in biochemistry. A lot of it was just due to laziness or poor organization in turning crap in and whatnot. I also took on a full time job when I was supposed to be studying for the MCAT, and pretty much put studying as a distant second priority and made that suffer as well.

So, to address this, I ended the statement talking about my regrets in not prioritizing my life as I should have back in school. I then compared it to my job now - I was recently awarded an 'Employee of the Month' in my region spanning 5 states, youngest representative on the team, for things like tenacity, critical thinking, leadership, etc. I drew a parallel by saying that I've learned to prioritize the important things in life and excel in them, and that I believe I can do the same in medical school.

So, the question is, is that a worthy parallel to draw, or am I reaching here? Most people who have read it agree that it makes sense, but a person on here disagreed, and I hold their opinion higher than the others. I'm just not sure how to convey that I've grown from those mistakes in any other way, frankly.

Thanks guys

 

[mapandterritory]

It's fair to say you've learned from your experiences, and it sounds like you have a bit of an upward trend going for you...such as the A in calculus compared to a C you got in algebra. Now I'm wondering how long your "transition" was. Your message seems pretty clear to me (that is, if I understood you correctly). Hopefully it will be received well!

 

[von Matterhorn]

It's fair to say you've learned from your experiences, and it sounds like you have a bit of an upward trend going for you...such as the A in calculus compared to a C you got in algebra. Now I'm wondering how long your "transition" was. Your message seems pretty clear to me (that is, if I understood you correctly). Hopefully it will be received well!

Thank you, I hope it is as well. Unfortunately my upward trend is offset by silly/bad grades in classes like art and global studies that kind of keeps my GPA stagnant each year.

 

[riddler]

That sounds good. From what I understand, the PS should simply talk about why you want to go to medical school. If that means mentioning certain experiences that made you choose it, do it. If that means giving examples explaining how your views about medicine have changed through certain experiences (and those new views have made you realize that medicine is right for you), write that.

 

[von Matterhorn]

Thanks, that's exactly what I want to do in it. I also know my stats will raise a few questions, so I wanted to.address it towards the end so I could begin to explain myself and how.I was improving.

 

[Ironmandoc]

It sounds like your personal statement isn't going to add much to what someone could read from your list of things in the rest of your AMCAS application. The personal statement is your only opportunity to stand out, especially as a relatively low stat app, from the crowd. You need to show WHO you are not WHAT you've done. When adcom's read your statement, they should gain a grasp of who you are as a person and how you are unique. They know you want to be a doctor and they honestly don't care why. They want to know WHO you CAN BE as a doctor. Make it something more.

 

[semicharmed]

In my PS, I pretty much structured it as:

1) What thoughts I had leading up to my decision to apply to med school

2) How certain experiences solidified the choice for me

3) How the experiences impacted my views on medicine

At this point, I have what I'm thinking is a controversial ending. I'm a low-stat applicant (3.5 gpa, 28 MCAT). My GPA is a bit of a mess - I have a C in an algebra class at a community college, then an A in a calculus class at a university. I have a B in general bio, an A in biochemistry. A lot of it was just due to laziness or poor organization in turning crap in and whatnot. I also took on a full time job when I was supposed to be studying for the MCAT, and pretty much put studying as a distant second priority and made that suffer as well.

So, to address this, I ended the statement talking about my regrets in not prioritizing my life as I should have back in school. I then compared it to my job now - I was recently awarded an 'Employee of the Month' in my region spanning 5 states, youngest representative on the team, for things like tenacity, critical thinking, leadership, etc. I drew a parallel by saying that I've learned to prioritize the important things in life and excel in them, and that I believe I can do the same in medical school.

So, the question is, is that a worthy parallel to draw, or am I reaching here? Most people who have read it agree that it makes sense, but a person on here disagreed, and I hold their opinion higher than the others. I'm just not sure how to convey that I've grown from those mistakes in any other way, frankly.

Thanks guys

I strongly suggest that you end on a positive note. Negative stories leave negative impressions. Have your "challenge" or "struggle" in the opener or somewhere in the middle, but end with a sense of optimism and confidence that you are the best medical candidate. I wouldn't address the GPA here, I think it's too much of a gamble. The filters for each med school will typically either bar you or accept you into the stage where they read your statement-and this point is already past the GPA point. Talk to some other people, but again-letting them know your weaknesses explicitly is not a good thing for a personal statement that should glow with positivity.

I'm a little worried about the flow of the statement too, in terms of the organization. There are many ways to stylistically organize, and I find that chronological ordering seems to work best. If you're jumping too much back and forth through time and re-referring to events you mentioned in the first paragraph in the third paragraph this will be confusing. If you're stuck on this organization-try to resolve each mini-topic completely before going to a new one, then at the end tie all of them together with a common theme that resolves the essay.

Think positive and good luck!

 

[riddler]

It sounds like your personal statement isn't going to add much to what someone could read from your list of things in the rest of your AMCAS application. The personal statement is your only opportunity to stand out, especially as a relatively low stat app, from the crowd. You need to show WHO you are not WHAT you've done. When adcom's read your statement, they should gain a grasp of who you are as a person and how you are unique. They know you want to be a doctor and they honestly don't care why. They want to know WHO you CAN BE as a doctor. Make it something more.

But isn't the entire personal statement prompt, "...explain why you want to go to medical school"? I think giving your reason as to why you want to go to medical school, what is it about medicine that really attracts you, and how you approach your response, can say a lot about who you are as a person.

After all, they have 15 experience descriptions to discover who you can be as a doctor because of what you learned/gained from experience.