1. The SDN iPhone App is back and free through November! Get it today and please post a review on the App Store!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Dismiss Notice

Pathologists are inherently more attractive.

Discussion in 'Pathology' started by yaah, Apr 26, 2004.

  1. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Don't you think? I am not only talking about the mental angle, because of course we are all intellectual studs and studettes. There is just nothing cooler than the people in this field, whether in the grossing room, the lab, or at the scope. I am not sure what it is. Perhaps it is the satisfaction with knowing the right field we are in. A two-headed microscope is such a pleasant, intimate environment where who knows what can happen. A serene, casual environment. It's quite a pickup line: Hey, want to go over to the two headed microscope with me? If we find some other people we can maybe go to the 4 headed scope.

    You don't go to the two headed microscope with just anyone.

    Everyone in all these other fields must be so jealous. Those poor surgeons who went into the field for the sole purpose of becoming more attractive to the opposite sex (or same sex, if that's your bag) must be so upset when they see all the pathologists running around with free time, sitting down for lunch, etc.

    Plus, one of the big benefits of pathology is that you have to deal with far less poo than in almost any other field. There is poo, to be sure, but it is in a limited form and one does not have to hide one's disguist over this, as opposed to being in a patient's room and saying, "dear god, it smells like crap in here." You just can't say that. Thus, pathologists are better because they don't smell like poo. And you almost never have to deal with vomit. Formalin is not as bad.

    Thus, in summary: pathologists are more attractive because of 1) serenity; 2) confidence; 3) job satisfaction; 4) intellect; 5) friendliness and sense of humor; 6) minimal poo exposure.
     
  2. Note: SDN Members do not see this ad.

  3. Kince

    Kince New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    This should be on an advertisement for Pathology departments everywhere.

    "When choosing your residency, remember: Pathology! We promise minimal poo exposure.....oh and job satisfaction"
     
  4. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    It's true, you know. Minimal poo. I saw more poo on my psych rotation. Some of it was also hurled through the air at my sweet face. Luckily, I was able to dodge it. My patient had an unhealthy fascination with feces, in particular his own, (Is there such a thing as a healthy fascination with poo?) and loved to hurl it at people. I had other patients who thought being incontinent was a useful way to rebel against the terrible antagonistic society they were forced to live in.

    Pathology, sometimes you get a colectomy on an unprepped bowel, and of course the autopsies. But seriously, much less poo. And you very rarely get things thrown at you. I had things thrown at me in pedes (kids threw the reflex hammer), psych as above, medicine (medication lists, prescription bottles - here's a tip, before you ask someone what medications they are on, check to see if the nurse already did!), surgery (suction tips, retractors, sponges, lap pads, resected organs, etc etc etc), OB (babies and placentas). The closest I came to getting something thrown at me in pathology was when someone handed me a tray of slides too quickly and one of them slid out of the tray.
     
  5. joedogma

    joedogma Senior Member
    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2004
    Messages:
    160
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yaah you should somehow work this thread into a personal ad. The replies would not stop pourin' in! Great pick up lines to melt anybody's heart :D Hey baby, want to check out my multi-headed scope? I will let you drive...The possiblilities are endless. My wife will be so pleased know that I will become studly when I become a pathologist. BTW, was there a lot of studliness examination while you were on interviews? If so, I better hit the gym and get a cool haircut...maybe a surfer boy dye job...or maybe I should go for the GQ look. You know, don't shave for a few days, get some nice sideburns goin, get a really nice new suit but instead of a shirt and tie just were a black t-shirt. What do you guys think?
     
  6. Mr. Plow

    Mr. Plow Yes, that's my name
    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2003
    Messages:
    83
    Likes Received:
    0
    So would that be considered fecophilia? I wonder if that's in DSM-IV. :laugh: Anti-social personality disorder with fecophilial traits? Hm.

    I agree with the minimal poo thing. I was helping with a colonoscopy this morning.. with a less than ideal prep (we're talking brown/green rivers a-flowin'). Anyhow, somewhere in-between the foul stench of poo (which could have quite possibly been fermenting in the colonic lumen for who knows how long) and the frequent bursts of flatulence as we advanced and retracted the scope, I reconfirmed my decision not to go into gastroenterology.

    Another cool thing about pathology that I heard from a resident: It's the only specialty that, if you happen to chance upon a hot dinner date, you can just put your patient in the fridge and come back to him/her later.
     
  7. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Yeah dude, I wouldn't even try to go on interviews unless you can bench at least 250. Some people at the interviews I went to decided to wear muscle shirts because they knew that was such an important trait. The studliness was out of control. I was like, "Is this the pathology department or is this the Esquire world headquarters?" I think I ended up cinching my spot because of a kick-butt tattoo of Virchow on my biceps. When I flex, the picture is altered so it looks like he is sitting down at a scope.

    Was that the patient's flatulence or the attending's? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    Only kidding of course. But I did operate with a surgeon who seemingly had minimal personal control over his efforts. Perhaps he thought everyone was deaf. Or perhaps he was just so arrogant that he didn't give two hoots about it. More than likely, he blamed it on the resident. Oh man, flatulence jokes. They don't get much more fun than that.
     
  8. cookypuss3

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2003
    Messages:
    356
    Likes Received:
    2
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Oh my god. Laughed till my rock-hard, flat, toned stomach hurt so bad. You rock.
     
  9. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Cookypuss you can share a two headed microscope with me anytime.

    Hmm...A personal ad. Single 27 WM scope-jockey seeks SF for fun times at the 2 headed scope....

    Actually, though, as fun as scope time is, it might actually be advantageous to have a life outside of the pathology department. But yet, another plus to being a pathologist. Plenty of time! Time to use the studliness to advantage.

    BTW JoeD, you think you will become studly by becoming a pathologist, but you're probably already most of the way there. Pathology does not make the stud, although it does increase attractiveness and desirability about tenfold. The stud chooses pathology.
     
  10. cookypuss3

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2003
    Messages:
    356
    Likes Received:
    2
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Oooooh baby, my two-headed scope is your two-headed scope, come on up and see it sometime.

    See? Pathology does give one more time to develop the inner sex kitten. Off to get my Brazilian waxing now... and after that my evening two hours of Pilates...
     
  11. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Wow, who knew the 2 headed scope had such limitless potential? Perhaps one day I shall thrill to the meeting of my beloved across the table at my two headed scope. Adjusting our eyepieces synchronously, our visual acuity matched. Driving the scope at just the right speed, quickly through some areas but slowing down frequently to admire the beauty. Playing the game.

    What's that you say? Difficulty in deciphering the puzzling swirls of color on your slide? Come hither to the two headed scope with me, and we will solve the problem together. The light is too bright for you my dear? Is that better? Shall we examine the slides with the stage or without? Whatever you prefer. We will start our journey at 2x to get an overall picture, before getting a closer look and examination and deciding whether to proceed to oil immersion.

    Casanova pathologist...You just can't resist.
     
  12. Mike59

    Mike59 Sweatshop FP in Ontario
    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2001
    Messages:
    1,084
    Likes Received:
    4
    O MY GOD (ROFLMAO!!!!!!)
    Let the karma points fly....I will never think of oil immersion in the same way again :laugh:
     
  13. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    I get the same feeling about "with or without the stage." Seems to me like people who use the stage are quite often more cautious and careful. Those without the stage just let things rip. Then again, the fastest signouts I have ever gone to are with an attending who uses the stage.

    The ultimate pathologist risk taker (and hence, studly pathologist) is the one who uses oil immersion WITHOUT the stage. I have only met one. Total stud. Then again, very few pathologists actually use oil immersion (just the hemepath folks), I just thought the innuendo was too much to pass up, frankly.

    I may present my autopsy innuendo post later, if I am so inspired.
     
  14. cookypuss3

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2003
    Messages:
    356
    Likes Received:
    2
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Mere words do not describe how hot this made me.

    I prefer the stage. Bring it on.
     
  15. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    I prefer the stage as well. Without the stage, I find manipulation of the objective somewhat limited. Presence of the stage allows somewhat more of a "hands-free" environment, if you will, or perhaps a more effective and precise manipulation. I can function without the stage of course, but sometimes it just feels too loose and free. Use of the stage also allows systematic exploration of the slide without a slipup. And, as well, if you find a particularly stunning area, that absolutely makes the diagnosis, having the stage allows you to maintain focus on that area, and highlight it for the future. Without the stage, sometimes you remove your finger from the objective, the slide moves, and then you just can't find that same spot again without a lot of fantastic gesticulation and frantic searching. And sometimes, in order to find it, you have to go and pull back to 4x so that you can regain your bearings and find the original area of interest. Wow, now I'm tired. :sleep:

    How's that for innuendo? Wait, that's not innuendo. I'm just describing my philosophy of examining a histologic slide. Colon cancer, for example. yeah, that's right. And this is how I am at 8 in the morning.
     
  16. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Cookypuss, you changed the image next to your name? What happened to the young Judy Garland or whoever that was? I like the picture of the little kitty though.

    You know, as a budding female pathologist this makes you even more of a desirable commodity than the average studly male pathologist. Nothing cooler than a woman at a scope, in my opinion. Unless, of course, it is across the autopsy table. Since you like to trash talk it's even better.
     
  17. cookypuss3

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2003
    Messages:
    356
    Likes Received:
    2
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    I get bored with my atavar periodically and feel the need to change it. I like the little kitty too, being held at gunpoint.

    Thank you for the compliments. Somehow, the vast majority of men do not find a woman who cusses like a truck driver and likes to dig through dead bodies and body parts sexy. Especially when I can out-trash-talk most of the men. They just don't care for it. Their loss. Muuhahahahaha!!!!
     
  18. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    They are intimidated, of course. Like the people who can't handle being with someone who makes more money than them. Only the strong willed and self confident will be able to handle it.

    By the way, I have to add that Muahahaha is quite possibly my favorite textual representation of a sound. That just reminded me. It's so evil!
     
  19. cookypuss3

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2003
    Messages:
    356
    Likes Received:
    2
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Hence my perpetual singledom..... :rolleyes:
     
  20. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    That doesn't explain mine. That's ok though. It has allowed me now to be set to move to a new state, free of any commitments. Now that I am moving, the slate will be reset and I will be able to create my own new image as Casanova Pathologist. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. Maybe I'm just a complete dork. Perhaps it is my insistence on remaining clean shaven, piercing-free, and tattooless.

    Perhaps, cookypuss, one day when pathologists control the universe, we will rule as king and queen. Intimidation will no longer be a factor. We know that pathology and pathologists are cool. The rest of the world will just have to agree or be destroyed.
     
  21. cookypuss3

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2003
    Messages:
    356
    Likes Received:
    2
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Ah yes, my lord, such a gorgeous picture you paint. We shall reign from our noble thrones, unchallenged and revered. We shall deign to allow our people to kneel before us and kiss our hands and pledge their alliance to the kingdom of Virchow. Our subjects will show love by cleaning our scope lenses and changing our scalpel blades with excruciating regularity, such that our art can be performed at its pinnacle.
     
  22. Brian Pavlovitz

    Brian Pavlovitz give me that marrow!
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2003
    Messages:
    599
    Likes Received:
    0
    Status:
    Resident [Any Field]
    You two sound like a couple already!

    Perhaps we need to have a SDN Dating Game :laugh:

    Bachelor #1: He has a love of pathology and a penchant for speaking in German and innuendo--say hello to Yaah!

    Bachelor #2: Having loads of heart, he's doesn't do it for the money--it's Joedogma!

    Bachelor #3: Quiet and unassuming, he enjoys music that really rocks--give it up for BCMD!

    ...and so on. I will offer my services as host.

    Of course, it really will be no contest. The "King and Queen" of our little Pathology Utopia will reign supreme! ;)
     
  23. Brian Pavlovitz

    Brian Pavlovitz give me that marrow!
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2003
    Messages:
    599
    Likes Received:
    0
    Status:
    Resident [Any Field]
    Whoops! BCMD is getting married! Well, that's one less for the show (Congrats to BCMD, by the way).
     
  24. joedogma

    joedogma Senior Member
    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2004
    Messages:
    160
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sorry but I too have to drop out of the game as I am already married...my wife can't wait for me to start a pathology residency...I am going to be so studly :cool:

    Brian you would make a good chuck woolary (sp?) :D
     
  25. cookypuss3

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2003
    Messages:
    356
    Likes Received:
    2
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    But of course. Was there ever really any question? All you guys need to do now is chip in for some nice thrones for yaah and I.
     
  26. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Married people. Sheesh.

    I choose a throne of silver, as gold is tacky, with a soft cushion of course. The pathologist's best friend is a comfy chair with a soft cushion.

    Cookypuss as the queen you will of course have equal power. Actually, as the queen you will probably have full power, because pathology stud that I am, the female is my ultimate ruler and master.

    William and Mary as co-rulers may not have been able to make it work, but we will.

    Cookypuss I just had some Stoli in your honor. My day in Neurology made me do it. No, actually the red sox made me do it. Derek Lowe is doing his best impersonation of a ten year old out there on the mound tonight. Kick the dirt again, derek. Not your fault they scored 7 runs. Not at all.
     
  27. cookypuss3

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2003
    Messages:
    356
    Likes Received:
    2
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Silver thrones sound lovely. I think a nice blood-red velvet would be appropriate for the cushions, non? And then a nice built-in ice bucket, generously sized and within reach, for the Costco sized bottles of Stoli and appropriate mixers, if we so desire. All we need now is a couple of surgeons to massage our feet and we're set.

    And yes, married people suck. No offense. :oops:
     
  28. Halcyon440

    Halcyon440 On the fence
    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2003
    Messages:
    122
    Likes Received:
    0
    Status:
    Medical Student
    Hahah this thread is great. :laugh: You are all giving me hope! I'm just a confused non-trad pre-med. While I am fascinated by medicine I am also fascinated by many other things in life. I want to have it all, but the more I look into med school/residency the bleaker things appear. I like everything about my life right now except my career. Life would be really just about perfect if medicine were my career AND I could keep doing all the other things I like. More importantly, I don't want to lose who I am via the grueling training. And I want to have time for my husband and family. You all seem fun and normal. Maybe it IS possible for me to be a doctor and still be ME. And still have time to play my saxophone and find my inner sex goddess . . . Hmmm.
     
  29. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Well, Halcyon, you had me then you lost me. I like what you said, then you threw in the saxophone. I hate the saxophone. With a firey passion. With the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. Ooooohhh I hate that sound. Not romantic or sexy at all. I think xylophones and kettle drums sound more romantic than a saxophone. Don't take it personal though, I know a lot of people out there like the sax. I'm not much on acoustic guitars either.

    But anyway, naw you won't lose who you are. Medical school and residency shape who you are and what you become, but it isn't the all-consuming mess that many portray it to be. You can still have a fruitful and exciting life outside the hospital.

    Be careful about listening to people talking about bleak futures, horrible lifestyles, etc. If you enjoy what you do and get a thrill from it, it is definitely worth the extensive training and hard work. Every job is going to become a huge part of your life. If it is something you enjoy doing, it becomes less of a task or a chore.


    Back to cookypuss. Cookypuss, may I request that our court musicians be free of saxophones? Saxophones make me think of sleazy surgeons. The ice bucket is a good idea. Keeps things cool and fresh. More Stoli, anyone? We have fun around here. Don't worry about writing orders, calling rehab facilities, incessantly checking for updated labs. All of that garbage makes people stressed and unattractive. The anti-pathology.
     
  30. joedogma

    joedogma Senior Member
    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2004
    Messages:
    160
    Likes Received:
    0
    If you guys want to be royalty you have to start acting like it...Stoli? You have to be kidding me! Stoli is what the peasants drink. Grab some Grey Goose. Better yet, if you want to be emperor get yourself some GlenLivet! Stoli is like school in the summer...no class...please save the throne and dump that nasty stoli! :D
     
  31. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    You're right of course, but of course we are talking about bulk here. Traditional royals, yes, can continuously suck up the peasants' money and land and have totally wasteful lifestyles. I choose to be different. I drink the Stoli and save the peasants some hassle. We can't all have Macallan scotch every day, you know. To paraphrase Homer Simpson, it's not the kind of liquor you drink, it's how drunk you get that matters. And besides, it's tough to be sophomoric when every sip costs you $10. You have to start acting high class just to sit in the same room with some of these drinks.

    At least I didn't say Crown Royale. THAT, I daresay, would have been tacky.
     
  32. cookypuss3

    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2003
    Messages:
    356
    Likes Received:
    2
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Ah, yes, the single most important thing I learned in medical school re: alcohol consumption: quantity, not quality. C'est la vie.

    And you know what? $10 per sip drinks are really no fun at all. Considering half the drink will end up spilled down my shirt or on my friend, that's extremely wasteful, and unlike a Democrat, I think it is immoral to waste the peasants' money on luxuries.
     
  33. Doctor B.

    Doctor B. Slappin' That Glass
    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2003
    Messages:
    429
    Likes Received:
    4
    Man, have you got me pegged! I guess I'm technically a bachelor for a few more weeks. Also, thanks for the congrats.
     
  34. b&ierstiefel

    b&ierstiefel Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2004
    Messages:
    11,787
    Likes Received:
    0
    Status:
    Non-Student
    yes daddy

    bump

    what can i say? i'm sitting on my ass in the lab for the next 3 hours. i'm bored off my mind!
     
  35. b&ierstiefel

    b&ierstiefel Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2004
    Messages:
    11,787
    Likes Received:
    0
    Status:
    Non-Student
    I feel inspired to invent something. Perhaps a kit called "Immunostaining in Just Five Minutes" just like that "Just for Men" hair coloring product.
     
  36. b&ierstiefel

    b&ierstiefel Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2004
    Messages:
    11,787
    Likes Received:
    0
    Status:
    Non-Student
    aight man! take it easy chief :)
     
  37. yaah

    yaah Boring
    Administrator Physician 15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
    Messages:
    27,926
    Likes Received:
    295
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    bumping for the noobs. Take this thread seriously! ;)
     
  38. deschutes

    deschutes Thing
    Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2004
    Messages:
    4,703
    Likes Received:
    1
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Holy crap this was before my time.
     
  39. bananaface

    bananaface Pharmacy Supernerd
    Pharmacist Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor Classifieds Approved 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2004
    Messages:
    41,998
    Likes Received:
    159
    Status:
    Pharmacist
    I am only 2 days older than this thread! :eek:
     
  40. beary

    beary Pancytopenic
    Moderator Emeritus 5+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2004
    Messages:
    9,508
    Likes Received:
    4
    Status:
    Resident [Any Field]
    Did this ever work out? I sure could use the immunostaining kit. :D

    Awesome thread, btw.
     
  41. b&ierstiefel

    b&ierstiefel Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2004
    Messages:
    11,787
    Likes Received:
    0
    Status:
    Non-Student
    unfortunately not. but i am still trying. if they can make a rapid DNA ligation in 5 minutes kit, i can get this to work.
     
  42. PathOne

    PathOne Derminatrix
    5+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    1
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    immunostaining is no problem. Nor is DNA-whatmejingy procedures.
    Just use the LOPDHW-protocol:

    1. Receive specimen.
    2. Let Other People Do the Hard Work.
    3. Rinse and repeat.
     

Share This Page