Path's lead is shrinking..

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:laugh: "When the army had the nerve to fire back, the Reverend Jesse Jackson said it's because they were black."
 
Here's my +pad+ for the day. Twas a long day of studying. For the first time in a long time, I met my goal. Good night all! Next time I pad I will back at my own place with much faster internet 🙂
 
all alone in here. hmmm. doo bee doo bee doooooo
 
umm, my date was fun!
i saw Little Miss Sunshine. Hi-larious!! my fav film this year
 
i should be tired but I am not really.

hmm, maybe I'll have a snack then try to get some sleep.


PAD PAD PAD

good night all
 
So, a "friend" has a situation. I want your advice on what "she" should do.

She went out with this guy who was actually the first non-@$$hole she was attracted to in a while. They had two dates and the 2nd one ended sort of abruptly and weirdly. They didn't talk again.

Flash forward two months and she gets a text message from him (and answers since doesn't realize who it is since she deleted his #, but vaguely recognizes the # as someone she knows). Coincidentally on the same day that she gets said text message, he just happened to cross her mind in a kind of, "Gosh, I wish I'd gotten to know him better" way.

Should she give him a second chance?
 
Yeah, whatever. I wouldn't go into it with that desire to know him better though, or you'll set yourself up for something.
 
Go
228.gif

1st 2nd 3rd 4th
CLEM (2-1) 6 8 6 7 27 FINAL
#9 FSU (2-1) 2 7 3 8 20
September 16, 2006 - Doak Campbell Stadium

Ranked #19 now.

Oh, and ND and UT lost too. [Mr. Burns]Excellent[/Mr. Burns]
 
So, a "friend" has a situation. I want your advice on what "she" should do.

She went out with this guy who was actually the first non-@$$hole she was attracted to in a while. They had two dates and the 2nd one ended sort of abruptly and weirdly. They didn't talk again.

Flash forward two months and she gets a text message from him (and answers since doesn't realize who it is since she deleted his #, but vaguely recognizes the # as someone she knows). Coincidentally on the same day that she gets said text message, he just happened to cross her mind in a kind of, "Gosh, I wish I'd gotten to know him better" way.

Should she give him a second chance?


yeah, give a second chance.
 
Remember, it's not me, it's a "friend."

ohhhh....hmmmm....."your friend."

just tell your "friend" to not set expectations too high....

and play it cool...like disinterested and just sorta blah.

he may have potential....but don't let your guard down too soon...
 
So, a "friend" has a situation. I want your advice on what "she" should do.

She went out with this guy who was actually the first non-@$$hole she was attracted to in a while. They had two dates and the 2nd one ended sort of abruptly and weirdly. They didn't talk again.

Flash forward two months and she gets a text message from him (and answers since doesn't realize who it is since she deleted his #, but vaguely recognizes the # as someone she knows). Coincidentally on the same day that she gets said text message, he just happened to cross her mind in a kind of, "Gosh, I wish I'd gotten to know him better" way.

Should she give him a second chance?

He doesn't want to be with your friend - he just wants anyone. His attention is not real, and your friend is not special and individual. I would advise you to tell your friend to forget him. I mean, he sounds clingy and too obsessive.

(This is using your rationale.)
 
He doesn't want to be with your friend - he just wants anyone. His attention is not real, and your friend is not special and individual. I would advise you to tell your friend to forget him. I mean, he sounds clingy and too obsessive.

(This is using your rationale.)

Sorry - but text message =/= too clingy

Lots of text messages + very few calls = a bad sign, though

Get it straight.
 
yeah, maybe I should go spend money I don't have.....
 
reading the paper.

doing laundry.

thinking about CAFFEINE!!
 
is there anything good on tv tonight?

PS: I feel fat today
 
Sorry - but text message =/= too clingy

Lots of text messages + very few calls = a bad sign, though

Get it straight.

Any guy showing any attention is not looking at your friend specifically, but only as a "person to be with" (by your rules).

Texting out of the blue = "creepy" - that shows that he is thinking of your friend specifically, although (by your rules) that isn't true.

Tell your friend to forget him - he's just looking for anybody to fill in a spot (other evidence showing otherwise, regardless).
 
but I'm not fishing.

If I was fishing I would be like, "oh, do you like my outfit? isn't it cute?! "

I genuinely feel FAT today.
Nephrotic and edematous.
Like a bloated orca.

I think it was cuz I had 2 (fine maybe 3+) (rather large) hefeweizen beers last night on my date. Yummy though!! And dinner was nice and salty.

So today, I look *nephrotic* and gross. MUST run like for an hour today. at least. Or, take 40 of lasix.


orque2a.jpg
 
Any guy showing any attention is not looking at your friend specifically, but only as a "person to be with" (by your rules).

Texting out of the blue = "creepy" - that shows that he is thinking of your friend specifically, although (by your rules) that isn't true.

Tell your friend to forget him - he's just looking for anybody to fill in a spot (other evidence showing otherwise, regardless).

You are now just plain misquoting me.

I once asked my mom WHY I tend to dislike any guy who really chases me and she explained it like this: when we are getting into a relationship we don't want to feel like the other person wants just anyone in their life (translation: we don't want to think they are desperate). I want to feel like *I* am someone special to them and there is a reason that they want to spend time with me. When a guy won't leave me alone I tend to get the feeling that it is more the idea of "having someone" that he likes, not really anything specific to me.

When a guy calls/texts/IMs me EVERY SINGLE DAY when I have first met him, it makes me feel like he's a) lonely or b) dependent or c) both. When affection and behaviors that I associate with a later stage in a relationship come too early, then yes, it does feel like he is desperate.

Perfect example: the other day I signed onto AIM for a brief moment before I went to study. The guy I've been out with all of twice IMed me, "Hey, do you have a minute? I really need to talk to you." I didn't have a minute, but I made some time and it turned out that he was having a bad day at work due to his boss messing up a database and he "just needed to talk to me." At the point where I've been on two dates with a guy, I am really not ready at all to feel like I am "needed" in any way. After two dates I should not factor THAT MUCH into anyone's life.

I don't know if you have ever been in a relationship that suffocated you, but I have. My college boyfriend was amazing and perfect, except for the fact that he was INCREDIBLY co-dependent. He left so little room in my life for anything else that it got to the point where I couldn't go out with my girls to party without feeling guilty. And yes, I recognize that this wasn't all HIS problem, part of it was mine for allowing myself to feel guilty and for allowing the behavior to continue, but it had a lasting effect on me to the point that I am VERY wary of any guy who seems too needy or clingy.
 
You are now just plain misquoting me.

Didn't mean to.

I'm just saying that, in 5 years or so, you will look back to this day and disagree.

I shall not say anymore, beyond fare thee well, with my best wishes for a good, strong, loving relationship to come your way - sooner or later, whenever it does. The miracle of that is, no matter when it happens, it will be at just the right time.
 
You are now just plain misquoting me.



When a guy calls/texts/IMs me EVERY SINGLE DAY when I have first met him, it makes me feel like he's a) lonely or b) dependent or c) both. When affection and behaviors that I associate with a later stage in a relationship come too early, then yes, it does feel like he is desperate.

Perfect example: the other day I signed onto AIM for a brief moment before I went to study. The guy I've been out with all of twice IMed me, "Hey, do you have a minute? I really need to talk to you." I didn't have a minute, but I made some time and it turned out that he was having a bad day at work due to his boss messing up a database and he "just needed to talk to me." At the point where I've been on two dates with a guy, I am really not ready at all to feel like I am "needed" in any way. After two dates I should not factor THAT MUCH into anyone's life.

I don't know if you have ever been in a relationship that suffocated you, but I have. My college boyfriend was amazing and perfect, except for the fact that he was INCREDIBLY co-dependent. He left so little room in my life for anything else that it got to the point where I couldn't go out with my girls to party without feeling guilty. And yes, I recognize that this wasn't all HIS problem, part of it was mine for allowing myself to feel guilty and for allowing the behavior to continue, but it had a lasting effect on me to the point that I am VERY wary of any guy who seems too needy or clingy.


girl, I am totally with you on this one. it's all about the context of the behavior. when it happens at the wrong time, it's uncomfortable.

clingy = unattractive & desperate

also "clingy" is different than considerate and thoughtful. I like thoughtful --It's nice to receive random text messages or emails or whatever. But just not every freaking day. Unless you are married or seriously dating or something.
 
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