Perfectionism is kicking my butt!

[NubianPrincess]

I spent my entire spring break brushing up for the MCAT and nursing an untimely cold Now that I am back in class, I feel so behind The worst part is, I am the only person I know who would stay up this late preparing for a speech class. It's a BS class and I'm losing sleep over it, because I just can't go to sleep until I know my speech like the back of my hand! I don't feel good about this...i'm stressed out due to some personal issues, and I am tired of undergrad period, yet i'm still trying to be little miss perfect. *sigh* I really suck

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[BubbleBobble]

Here's what I do:

Go and get some paper and a pen. Draw something, like a cup or a tree. It helps if you can't draw, too. The pen is very important, since it means that you can't erase and you can't go back. You'll eventually add too many lines to your drawing attempting to make it perfect, and soon you'll have to stop and realize that your drawing is "good enough."

Carry this philosophy in everything you do.

 

[IcedCube]

Here's what I do:

Go and get some paper and a pen. Draw something, like a cup or a tree. It helps if you can't draw, too. The pen is very important, since it means that you can't erase and you can't go back. You'll eventually add too many lines to your drawing attempting to make it perfect, and soon you'll have to stop and realize that your drawing is "good enough."

Carry this philosophy in everything you do.

that warrants my 1st karma shoutout

 

[LP1CW]

I am perfect, not because of what I do or how I perform. Grades don't define me, scores, numbers. I am me. And I am perfect at being me, the real me. You can't be me. I can't be you. So, you are perfect at being you.

You are a perfect you, exactly the person that GOD created you to be.

 

[EMPOWERurSELF!]

I know from experience--perfectionism is tough and usually leads to never being truly happy or satisfied with yourself. I used to be a LOT more perfectionistic than I am now--I was crazy in high school which lead to a LOT of other problems... It's kind of like running on a treadmill--you're constantly running but never really seem to get anywhere(plus its tiring! )

Anyway, it took me a LONG time to realize that perfectionism is usually INTERNAL --no one wanted or expected me to be "perfect" but myself!-- but that pressure was still be enormous and it DEFINITELY didn't feel that way. With my experience (its prolly similar to yours) I was always used to being the "best" at school, work, etc. and its almost like this constant fear of letting people down and being embarassed if you don't consistently perform "perfectly". I think its especially tough for us female pre-meds who are studying what some consider to be traditionally male subjects.

I honestly can't tell you anything magical that will help you--escaping the pressures of being a perfectionist takes a long time and its good that you realize that this is what you're doing and that you're NOT happy living like this--you're on the right track! You're already a beautiful person and you ARE "good enough"--your motivation, work ethic and intelligence are obviously a gift from God so use it in a POSITIVE, healthy way!!

 

[NubianPrincess]

Thank you guys so much for the replies. Well, after not going to sleep until this morning, I realized that it wasn't just some crusty old speech that had me acting so weird. I mean, granted, I am a bit perfectionistic with my grades, but i'm still a die hard procrastinator, so school rarely consumes me, unless I deserve it for slacking so much.

I'm going through a tough time in my life, and it's just making me worry and put alot of pressure on my self. My living situation isn't going so great, and the truth was that I just didn't feel like sleeping, but instead doing anything, even if it meant overly emphasizing a small assignment, cleaning or doing my hair, other than feeling comfortable under my current roof. It's as if when other people put me down, I try and overcompensate by spending more time on my looks and academics, etc. I'm not sure who i'm trying to convince...other's or myself. Probably both.

Anyway, enough rambling for now. Thanks again.