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vi0linm0nster

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Hello fellow SDNers!

I am a 2019 applicant (trying to get my PS written early) and I would really appreciate some help in brainstorming what I should write! This may be an odd thing to ask, as I do understand that PS can get very personal sometimes, but I was wondering if any past applicants/matriculants can PM me their personal statements for primaries? I just want to get a feel for how I should be formulating my essay and what constitutes as a good PS. I would like to make it more vivid as so the reader can see everything through the perspective I have from my life experiences.

I think I have a general theme of what I want to go around.. My ultimate goal is to help underrepresented and marginalized communities through healthcare. There is yet so much inequality in the US between social and economic classes which is very conspicuous in the field of healthcare, especially in more intense fields like surgery and emergency med (what I tentatively want to go into) - I recently met a patient who drove themselves 100 miles to Los Angeles from a small farm town to get treated, and ultimately had to amputate his leg (I can't believe he was driving with an injured/in pain leg!) because there was no large medical center close to them and wanted to avoid ambulance costs. With my talents and interests in science, I hope to merge these two of my interests, in science and in social justice issues, by entering medicine. But one important question I have is... how do I tailor these ideas specifically for medicine, as in why not something similar like nursing, social work, etc.? I want to make it clear why medicine is my answer, and not just any career in healthcare, but am not sure quite how. Is science enough to address that question? I have a strong research experience/background and would be happy to highlight it in my PS if it fits with my theme. Any help would be appreciated thank you!!

If anyone is also working/still working on their essays I am also happy to give feedback/ comments of my first impression!! Please PM!!
 
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I would like to make it more vivid as so the reader can see everything through the perspective I have from my life experiences.

This is a common desire but it usually doesn't work very well. IMHO the most effective statements are the ones that use clean, simple, direct language and are formulated to be concise rather than vivid. You have to understand that we read thousands of these each year, and most of them are cliché-laden and functionally interchangeable. Do not presume the initial reader will be musing over your life experiences with a cognac and a roaring fire.

In fact, the only people who may truly read your statement with deliberation may well be your interviewers. And that's assuming the school doesn't do MMI.

violinmonster said:
I think I have a general theme of what I want to go around.. My ultimate goal is to help underrepresented and marginalized communities through healthcare. There is yet so much inequality in the US between social and economic classes which is very conspicuous in the field of healthcare, especially in more intense fields like surgery and emergency med (what I tentatively want to go into) - I recently met a patient who drove themselves 100 miles to Los Angeles from a small farm town to get treated, and ultimately had to amputate his leg (I can't believe he was driving with an injured/in pain leg!) because there was no large medical center close to them and wanted to avoid ambulance costs. With my talents and interests in science, I hope to merge these two of my interests, in science and in social justice issues, by entering medicine. But one important question I have is... how do I tailor these ideas specifically for medicine, as in why not something similar like nursing, social work, etc.? I want to make it clear why medicine is my answer, and not just any career in healthcare, but am not sure quite how. Is science enough to address that question? I have a strong research experience/background and would be happy to highlight it in my PS if it fits with my theme. Any help would be appreciated thank you!!

If anyone is also working/still working on their essays I am also happy to give feedback/ comments of my first impression!! Please PM!!

We are medical schools, we're filled with people who chose medicine as a profession, so we understand the appeal. There is generally no need to develop an argument against other careers unless your stated reasons for choosing medicine are really weak and generic.

You mention this man who drove 100 miles to the hospital. That's a great story. How did you meet this person? Was it through clinical volunteering?
 
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JonathanHusky

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Hello fellow SDNers!
My ultimate goal is to help underrepresented and marginalized communities through healthcare.

while this is a very reasonable reason to enter medicine, I would recommend you develop or unpack this idea more because thousands of applicants statements will say they want to help underrepresented or marginalized communities.. it's a personal statement so make it as personal as possible. also you don't need to know exactly where your statement is headed before you start writing, i had to go through like 6-7 drafts before realizing what i even wanted to actually talk about lol so just start writing and you'll find your voice along the way, you're starting very early so you have plenty of time!

as for sample statements you can just google for them, i don't have access to the link but i remember there was a great site w/ like 10 or so amazing statements from accepted stanford med students that i found very helpful
 

vi0linm0nster

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OP, do NOT make the PS an essay on the state of Medicine in the US.

Just explain who you are and why Medicine?

Well my reason for going into medicine stems from my observations on the state of medicine in the US through experiences with volunteering, etc. I was going to include maybe a brief sentence or 2 on it to get my point of what I want to do with medicine across. Now that I think about it... can you elaborate more on how I can express who I am? Is it appropriate to talk about my thoughts on relevant interactions/experiences I had through my extracurriculars in order to give the reader an idea of who I am? (However, I thought there was a most meaningful activity section for this)
 

vi0linm0nster

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while this is a very reasonable reason to enter medicine, I would recommend you develop or unpack this idea more because thousands of applicants statements will say they want to help underrepresented or marginalized communities.. it's a personal statement so make it as personal as possible.

Can you elaborate on how I can make it more personal? My personal life/history is pretty boring tbh.. I come from a middle class family in California and has lived a fairly mundane life for the past 20 years.. I initially wasn't too sure on why I wanted to enter medicine, but because I really like science and wanted to apply and bring it to the real world where I can see drastic outcomes resulting from it (i.e., surgery). And as I was going through the premed process and started doing community service and clinical volunteering, I realized the pressing issues in our society, which made me see that I can go farther with medicine and therefore fueled my passion for it. Medicine is ultimately not my end goal, it is only the beginning, where I want to use it to do what I can to make changes in our community.
 

Goro

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Well my reason for going into medicine stems from my observations on the state of medicine in the US through experiences with volunteering, etc. I was going to include maybe a brief sentence or 2 on it to get my point of what I want to do with medicine across. Now that I think about it... can you elaborate more on how I can express who I am? Is it appropriate to talk about my thoughts on relevant interactions/experiences I had through my extracurriculars in order to give the reader an idea of who I am? (However, I thought there was a most meaningful activity section for this)
The bolded is your job.

Also read this:
· https://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/youre-doing-it-wrong-part-1-your-personal-statement.1247362/


https://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/youre-doing-it-wrong-part-2-your-experiences.1247838/#post-18746176
 

vi0linm0nster

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You mention this man who drove 100 miles to the hospital. That's a great story. How did you meet this person? Was it through clinical volunteering?

Yes, I was grabbing some daily necessities (toothbrush, etc.) for them since they came in a rush and didn't bring anything with them, and his wife was really thankful that I attended to their request and they started telling me about their story. If I start off the essay with this scene to go into why I want to go into medicine, would it be a good attention drawer?
 

freedoctor17

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Yes, I was grabbing some daily necessities (toothbrush, etc.) for them since they came in a rush and didn't bring anything with them, and his wife was really thankful that I attended to their request and they started telling me about their story. If I start off the essay with this scene to go into why I want to go into medicine, would it be a good attention drawer?

The fact that you were already in the hospital volunteering tells me there was another reason you got interested in medicine so i wouldnt use this story as the reason but it could be a good way to illustrate how it reinstated your desore to continue on this path.

For example you can open with this story (keep it simple though, don't exaggerate things) then from there connect it back to what got you there in the first place where you were in that position and explain how you want to help overcome these problems as a physician and make sure to make it clear why physician specifically (highlight working directly with patients, maybe the fact you enjoy it more than other options, etc.)
 
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Now that I think about it... can you elaborate more on how I can express who I am?

You explain your choices and aspirations in the context of your life circumstances and lived experience. Contrary to what some think, you don't need a particularly interesting life to get accepted to medical school. If you have solid metrics, reasonable EC's, decent social skills, and can articulate your reasons for wanting to go down this path, you can get in.
 
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JonathanHusky

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Can you elaborate on how I can make it more personal? My personal life/history is pretty boring tbh.. I come from a middle class family in California and has lived a fairly mundane life for the past 20 years.. I initially wasn't too sure on why I wanted to enter medicine, but because I really like science and wanted to apply and bring it to the real world where I can see drastic outcomes resulting from it (i.e., surgery). And as I was going through the premed process and started doing community service and clinical volunteering, I realized the pressing issues in our society, which made me see that I can go farther with medicine and therefore fueled my passion for it. Medicine is ultimately not my end goal, it is only the beginning, where I want to use it to do what I can to make changes in our community.

you make it personal by using your personal experiences to highlight your reason for entering medicine. i think the majority of med students have lived boring lives, not many of us were born into war torn countries and had to save babies to get here, i'm sure there are several students who did have experiences like that but living through that wasn't what got them into med school so don't worry about having a "boring life"

what i meant by my initial post was just don't make your central main idea for entering medicine "helping underrepresented communities" b/c it's too overused and won't help you stand out

just start writing! maybe even make the first draft around that idea of just helping underrepresented communities, it'll evolve into something more insightful as the drafts pile up
 
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