Just finished writing my personal statement for a post bacc program. The aim was to address the question: "Describe your career goals and explain about the experiences that lead to your decision." Some feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thanks
Here it is:
"Helping others has always been an innate characteristic of mine. Coupled with a passion for the sciences, and a strong desire to learn, a career in medicine is the next logical step. The medical field offers a way to better an individual’s life through a broad array of treatments while encouraging a great degree of intellectual stimulation. For me, these are the most alluring qualities.
In order to excel at any aspect of life, one must demonstrate the motivation and willingness to learn and practice ad nauseam. This is no doubt true when it comes to medicine. During my younger years, I always was fascinated by music, so I took up playing the piano. Anyone who plays the piano will affirm that such an instrument has a steep learning curve. However, through meticulous practice, I was slowly becoming a more adept player. Each day, I practiced for no less than an hour, continually working on both my strengths and weaknesses. Playing the piano has helped me to develop effective study habits, pay close attention to detail, and give me the discipline to employ a great work ethic in order for me to achieve my goals. Not only have these core values been instilled in virtually all areas of my life, I also intend to apply them to becoming a physician.
When I entered college, I was unsure which major was best suited for me. After taking numerous courses, I was captivated by my introduction to psychology course. Here, I learned about the complexities of the human mind, and was driven to understand the physiological basis of mental ailments. I was fascinated by the idea that many of our everyday choices can potentially have a profound impact on our mental health. I decided to further delve into this topic, and did so in a research context. Using a small sample of college students, I investigated the relationship between smoking and their health-related quality of life. Researching this topic taught me about the various adverse mental and physiological effects of smoking. Exploring the mechanism of action of nicotine on the smoker helped me to develop a more in-depth perspective of the human body. I found the subject matter to be stimulating and challenging, and it was here that my interest in medicine really blossomed.
Whether it’s playing the piano, doing research, or working in the medical field, I am always up for the challenge. I am grateful for everything I have learned over the course of my life, but I am even more enthused about the future. As I look forward, the medical field looks like a promising field that would ultimately enable me to work in a profession geared toward helping others. By extensively studying the mind as a psychology major, I learned about how the mind can have such a profound influence on a person’s well being. As a physician, I look forward to challenging myself to develop the necessary tools in order to provide patients with a better quality of life through transforming their minds."
Here it is:
"Helping others has always been an innate characteristic of mine. Coupled with a passion for the sciences, and a strong desire to learn, a career in medicine is the next logical step. The medical field offers a way to better an individual’s life through a broad array of treatments while encouraging a great degree of intellectual stimulation. For me, these are the most alluring qualities.
In order to excel at any aspect of life, one must demonstrate the motivation and willingness to learn and practice ad nauseam. This is no doubt true when it comes to medicine. During my younger years, I always was fascinated by music, so I took up playing the piano. Anyone who plays the piano will affirm that such an instrument has a steep learning curve. However, through meticulous practice, I was slowly becoming a more adept player. Each day, I practiced for no less than an hour, continually working on both my strengths and weaknesses. Playing the piano has helped me to develop effective study habits, pay close attention to detail, and give me the discipline to employ a great work ethic in order for me to achieve my goals. Not only have these core values been instilled in virtually all areas of my life, I also intend to apply them to becoming a physician.
When I entered college, I was unsure which major was best suited for me. After taking numerous courses, I was captivated by my introduction to psychology course. Here, I learned about the complexities of the human mind, and was driven to understand the physiological basis of mental ailments. I was fascinated by the idea that many of our everyday choices can potentially have a profound impact on our mental health. I decided to further delve into this topic, and did so in a research context. Using a small sample of college students, I investigated the relationship between smoking and their health-related quality of life. Researching this topic taught me about the various adverse mental and physiological effects of smoking. Exploring the mechanism of action of nicotine on the smoker helped me to develop a more in-depth perspective of the human body. I found the subject matter to be stimulating and challenging, and it was here that my interest in medicine really blossomed.
Whether it’s playing the piano, doing research, or working in the medical field, I am always up for the challenge. I am grateful for everything I have learned over the course of my life, but I am even more enthused about the future. As I look forward, the medical field looks like a promising field that would ultimately enable me to work in a profession geared toward helping others. By extensively studying the mind as a psychology major, I learned about how the mind can have such a profound influence on a person’s well being. As a physician, I look forward to challenging myself to develop the necessary tools in order to provide patients with a better quality of life through transforming their minds."
