PharmDs Help MEEE!!

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PharmDHelpMe

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  1. Pharmacy Student
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Do not commute 2 hours to school and back, you will suffer. Honestly, once you start pharmacy school you'll hardly have time for him. I'd just move and explain that regardless of if you stayed and commuted 4 hours each day that you won't have much time for him due to school and all that driving. You will likely have hospital rotations that will make you get there at 4-5am in the morning. Do you want to wake up at 2am to get ready, drive 2 hours, work all day and then come home to work on projects? If pharmacy is your dream, and if he supports your dream it will probably be best for the both of you that you move closer to school and see each other on weekends/any days off. Regardless of what happens, if you stay where you are and go to pharmacy school that far away it is going to likely take a major toll on your relationship anyway with more of the stress and burden being on you.
 
I think you should move close to campus and make school your priority. You can drive home when you have slower weekends and he can come stay with you when he has time off. Commuting would be crazy. Sometimes you just want to take a nap after classes or when a test is over. All that driving and gas would probably equal the cost to share an apartment with someone plus is will give you more free time for school and BF, with a place near campus. Less stressful too.


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Digsbe said:
Do not commute 2 hours to school and back, you will suffer. Honestly, once you start pharmacy school you'll hardly have time for him. I'd just move and explain that regardless of if you stayed and commuted 4 hours each day that you won't have much time for him due to school and all that driving. You will likely have hospital rotations that will make you get there at 4-5am in the morning. Do you want to wake up at 2am to get ready, drive 2 hours, work all day and then come home to work on projects? If pharmacy is your dream, and if he supports your dream it will probably be best for the both of you that you move closer to school and see each other on weekends/any days off. Regardless of what happens, if you stay where you are and go to pharmacy school that far away it is going to likely take a major toll on your relationship anyway with more of the stress and burden being on you.
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We've been with each other since high school. I made him wait and suffer because I was a selfish naive stuck up teenager. We talked and compromised. How about 1.5 hours? He's going to be working and paying the bills. What do you think? I'm asking other for answers because maybe they've been there ; I'm so lost.
 
Digsbe said:
Do not commute 2 hours to school and back, you will suffer. Honestly, once you start pharmacy school you'll hardly have time for him. I'd just move and explain that regardless of if you stayed and commuted 4 hours each day that you won't have much time for him due to school and all that driving. You will likely have hospital rotations that will make you get there at 4-5am in the morning. Do you want to wake up at 2am to get ready, drive 2 hours, work all day and then come home to work on projects? If pharmacy is your dream, and if he supports your dream it will probably be best for the both of you that you move closer to school and see each other on weekends/any days off. Regardless of what happens, if you stay where you are and go to pharmacy school that far away it is going to likely take a major toll on your relationship anyway with more of the stress and burden being on you.
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Don't I get to choose my rotations location?
 
not going to write a long post.
I don't know what your academic ability is and how tough your school is.
I graduated abt 6 yrs ago and NO way i could have do it being in your position. In p1, we hada lot on our plates. therapeutics, immunology, and others all coming at us. We had 1 exam a week, finals we had one exam a day. We had IPPE, which a rotations which we would have to go to after class for 5 hrs a day for 3 days a week (this was like for 8 weeks of the year). We had to stay after class or group work etc.

You are gambling with 50K a year of tuition, your life, what kind of anxiety do you think you will have if it comes down to one exam determining if you pass or fail.
 
I started pharmacy school when my child was very young and often was a single mom as husband was gone often for work, Drove 1 hour each way in heavy horrible traffic and worked 2 days a week 8am to 12am in a pharmacy. I had child care with typical childcare hours. You have to have good time management skills. The ability to say no to all those requests from organizations to participate in silly activities that are a complete waste of time. I would study from early am until I had to go to work or class. I would study after class until 5pm and I would have evenings off with family. I would go to bed around 8pm with my child and read stores with them. It is totally possible but you cannot participate in everything. You need to know when to say no. When my husband was home it was much easier of course. And my school was understanding and didn't give me crap for skipping a class here or there to stay in the library and study.

There were many students like me in school. Divorces happen in school, loss of loved ones happens. Life doesn't stop just because you start pharmacy school. Everybody has struggles. Find a network within your school and us it.
 
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CountBy5s said:
I started pharmacy school when my child was 18months and often I was a single mom as my husband is active duty military and deployed 5 times in 4 years. Drove 1 hour each way in heavy horrible traffic and worked 2 days a week 8am to 12am in a pharmacy. I had child care with typical childcare hours. You have to have good time management skills. The ability to say no to all those requests from organizations to participate in silly activities that are a complete waste of time. I would study from 3am until I had to go to work or class. I would study after class until 5pm and I would have evenings off with family. I would go to bed around 8pm with my child and read stores with them. It is totally possible but you cannot participate in everything. You need to know when to say no. When my husband was home it was much easier of course. And my school was understanding and didn't give me crap for skipping a class here or there to stay in the library and study.

There were many students like me in school. Divorces happen in school, loss of loved ones and spouses happens. Life doesn't stop just because you start pharmacy school. Everybody has struggles. Find a network within your school and us it.
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You're a strong women. Thank u
 
PharmDHelpMe said:
Hey everyone, I thought I'd reach out to people who actually are in my shoes. Kinda personal but im desperate. I'm starting pharmacy school and I'm so confused. It's been my dream since I was a child and when I finally got there I'm having doubts. I don't know if it's fear or if it's what I want. I chickened out the first time due to my anxiety and now it's my last shot. Another problem I have is my school is 2 hours away from my home, my boyfriend of 5 years proposed to me. He doesn't support the fact that I will be living alone and it took a lot of convincing to bring up the commute process. Is it doable? Is a 4 hour commute 3-4 days a week sane? Along with responsibilities of a husband and passing pharmacy school? I guess I can't have the best of both worlds here but I'm trying to get opinions. My heart is torn between my education and the love of my life. He can't move due to work and it's literally my last shot at my PharmD. I have no emotional support or financial support. I'm depending on loans without him and fear that my focus and concentration will be impacted due to what I've been through. I'll graduate when I'm 30, I really want kids but I don't know where to start. I'm sorry with my sob story but I'm just lost. This the closest school to my home, no he won't wait, please don't be mean with your responses. I'm new to this. Thank you all:/ what do you guys think? I'm trying to move 1.5 hours away instead of two... opinions plz...
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So, my story is somewhat similar. One difference, I'm a guy and my girlfriend at the time and I had to make the same decision. I was accepted to pharmacy school in a completely different state, but I knew it was what I was going to do. My now wife followed me and supported me the whole way. It was rough, but we managed and now our lives are so much better. I guess what I would offer in experience is that if your boyfriend isn't willing to make a sacrifice to see you pursue your dreams, then that should be a big consideration before you actually tie the knot.

Can you both reach compromises that doesn't exclude each other as an individual? What if you graduate pharmacy school and you have to move to find a job, is he willing to make that choice? What about an unexpected new arrival in the family, how will you both handle that?

You can complete pharmacy school with your boyfriend, but it will require commitment from both of you. To answer some other questions, you want to be as close to school as possible because your life will revolve around it for the next 4 years. The less time you spend driving, the more you will have to study and for activities outside of school. You can always find a cheap place to live as a roommate somewhere and spend your weekends/summers at home, the distance and time apart will be a strain on both of you, though. I don't know much more about your situation to comment on, but if I can help out with anything else, let me know.
 
I have a similar situation. DH was my BF of 3 years at the time. It was really really tough on our relationship, but I was not going to back out on pharmacy school. I lived near campus and he lived an about 2 hours away. We visited me so often, the students considered him an honorary student. He gave me a lot of grief at first until he saw my schedule and what I was up against, and then the light bulb came on for him. After he would finish work, he would drive up to see me, bring my friends and I a meal...and even helped us study and proof read our papers. We ended up getting married during my 3rd year. And had a baby during my 4th year. I am soo grateful for him and wish the same for you. You will need a lot of support during pharmacy school. You will not cope well if your significant other is not on board. I wish you the best.
 
What do you plan on doing once you get your PharmD? If your husband can't move now, how will he be able to move to BFE? Cause that's the only place you'll find a job in 4-6 years.

If this man will become your husband then he should fully support whatever you decide to do every step of the way. If he is already showing signs of not doing this then it's not going to work out, sorry to say.
 
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PharmDHelpMe said:
Don't I get to choose my rotations location?
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Sort of. You'll get to request sites that you want to go to, but there's no guarantee that the site you want will be open for the month you're asking for. If one of your choices isn't available, you'll get sent to any site that has an open spot.


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PharmDHelpMe said:
Don't I get to choose my rotations location?
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It depends on your school. They may allow you to to some degree. Mine allowed us to put in preferences for locations within an hour from the school. If we wanted to do distant ones or out of state ones we had to set that up and get approval.
 
First, I don't know all the backstory and history between you and your boyfriend. But the fact is, if your boyfriend is not supportive of your pharmacy plans which is your life-long dream--then you really shouldn't be getting married. Just because you were a "selfish naive stuck up teenager", you may owe him an apology for that, but you do NOT owe him to give up your dream. If he "wont' wait", then he is NOT the guy for you. Which I know, believe me I know, is really hard for you to believe now. Many times when a person is deeply in love, they are too close to the situation to see the problems and to see that they could potentially have a better relationship with someone else. Better a failed engagement than a failed marriage.

No, a 4 hour commute/day is NOT doable, and you can't expect it to only be 3 - 4 days a week. You may need to meet with lab or project partners on the other days, you may want to meet with a study group, you may need to use the school library or lab. Pharmacy school is a full-time committment, losing 4 hours a day to driving is too much. A gal I went to school with, she was a single parent with 2 tweens.....she left them with her parents during the week, lived at school, and drove home every weekend to see them. And that was hard, much harder than leaving an adult boyfriend who should be able to take care of himself during the week. Even driving home every weekend is hard (because of study groups, lab/project partners, etc.), but this would potentially be feasible--driving 4 hours a day will not be feasible, and you would run a real risk of flunking out of school.



PharmDHelpMe said:
Don't I get to choose my rotations location?
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Rotation sites are limited, if there are school approved rotations in your 2 hours away area, changes are you will be able to get them--because how many other people would want those? There will be competition between any popular rotation site, when I went to school, students with the best grades got 1st pick, other people got the leftovers. Your school may do it as a lottery system, or other system. You get to "pick" your rotations, in that you get give final approval if you a certain site or not, but if there are no other available sites, then you don't have much choice but to accept it.
 
No to a 4 hour commute everyday and why doesn't he want you living by yourself? That seems odd too besides the fact that he's not willing to help you reach your goals. And like someone else said you don't owe him anything


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umm sounds like he doesn't support you in anyway and doesn't want to wait... you get out of school when you're 30... that's still pretty young to find someone
who knows you might find someone in pharmacy school that'll support you as what I seen a lot of relationship doesn't last during pharmacy school that you had before school, tbh I know of only a few that lasted because its very trying times
personally I'd move on unless this future husband of your is banking to the point where your future salary is nominal, which is very uncommon
4hr/day commute no.... I'd effing kill myself if I did, may be 4hr/week
 
Farcus said:
umm sounds like he doesn't support you in anyway and doesn't want to wait... you get out of school when you're 30... that's still pretty young to find someone
who knows you might find someone in pharmacy school that'll support you as what I seen a lot of relationship doesn't last during pharmacy school that you had before school, tbh I know of only a few that lasted because its very trying times
personally I'd move on unless this future husband of your is banking to the point where your future salary is nominal, which is very uncommon
4hr/day commute no.... I'd effing kill myself if I did, may be 4hr/week
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I agree if he doesn't support you now. Better to have a clean break now than later. If he loves you he will make the commute to see you. This is the same reason many military marriages fail. Some people can't handle being alone. Can't handle the stress of separation and lack the ability to wait for the rewards to blossom. We live in an instant gratification society.
 
mentos said:
What do you plan on doing once you get your PharmD? If your husband can't move now, how will he be able to move to BFE? Cause that's the only place you'll find a job in 4-6 years.

If this man will become your husband then he should fully support whatever you decide to do every step of the way. If he is already showing signs of not doing this then it's not going to work out, sorry to say.
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im not being indenial about the saturated job market but everything is saturated. Might as well give up on school period if you want to talk about job outlook in professions...
 
PharmDHelpMe said:
Hey everyone, I thought I'd reach out to people who actually are in my shoes. Kinda personal but im desperate. I'm starting pharmacy school and I'm so confused. It's been my dream since I was a child and when I finally got there I'm having doubts. I don't know if it's fear or if it's what I want. I chickened out the first time due to my anxiety and now it's my last shot. Another problem I have is my school is 2 hours away from my home, my boyfriend of 5 years proposed to me. He doesn't support the fact that I will be living alone and it took a lot of convincing to bring up the commute process. Is it doable? Is a 4 hour commute 3-4 days a week sane? Along with responsibilities of a husband and passing pharmacy school? I guess I can't have the best of both worlds here but I'm trying to get opinions. My heart is torn between my education and the love of my life. He can't move due to work and it's literally my last shot at my PharmD. I have no emotional support or financial support. I'm depending on loans without him and fear that my focus and concentration will be impacted due to what I've been through. I'll graduate when I'm 30, I really want kids but I don't know where to start. I'm sorry with my sob story but I'm just lost. This the closest school to my home, no he won't wait, please don't be mean with your responses. I'm new to this. Thank you all:/ what do you guys think? I'm trying to move 1.5 hours away instead of two... opinions plz...
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2 hrs is not realistic, nor is 1.5 in all probability. You have no idea how busy pharmacy school gets, and adding 3-4hrs of driving a day means you'd only have time for school and sleep. I would think your bf would at least be willing to split the commute evenly (be an hour away). If he expects you to enter a doctorate program AND do the bulk of commuting, it doesn't bode well for you when it comes to a future partner. He needs to be willing to sacrifice too if he has any interest in what would make you happy. Just my 2¢.
 
The kids in my class who had an hour+ commute either failed and had to stay back a year (and moved close to campus when they came back and paid another 50k tuition) or were on the brink of failing. They would come late to class all flustered and look exhausted all the time. Is it really worth it? Imagine the anxiety they had when every exam would make or break you. Two hours, forget about it.

Your bf sounds like a typical millennial who only cares about his own needs. What happens if you only get a job across the country? Once you get your PharmD and make 6 figures I'm sure he'd come crawling back to you.
 
PharmDHelpMe said:
Pharmacists in the future will be more clinical. by 2020 it may be grads require a residency PGY1. Follow your dreams. Have some hope
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Hahahaha, did your school tell you that? Schools have been promising that the future of pharmacy was in "clinical" since at least the 1980's when I went to school. If anything, I've seen clinical only jobs being cut back over the past 10 years, as hospitals lose reimbursements every year.
 
CountBy5s said:
I agree if he doesn't support you now. Better to have a clean break now than later. If he loves you he will make the commute to see you. This is the same reason many military marriages fail. Some people can't handle being alone. Can't handle the stress of separation and lack the ability to wait for the rewards to blossom. We live in an instant gratification society.
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mentos said:
The kids in my class who had an hour+ commute either failed and had to stay back a year (and moved close to campus when they came back and paid another 50k tuition) or were on the brink of failing. They would come late to class all flustered and look exhausted all the time. Is it really worth it? Imagine the anxiety they had when every exam would make or break you. Two hours, forget about it.

Your bf sounds like a typical millennial who only cares about his own needs. What happens if you only get a job across the country? Once you get your PharmD and make 6 figures I'm sure he'd come crawling back to you.
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As a Millenial, I find these comments to be misinformed. The OP has a dirtbag boyfriend who is a selfish jerk. Tools like this have existed since the beginning of time. I've seen the greatest generation, the boomers, and the gen-Xer's in these kinds of relationships. The fact that the OP is in an awful relationship doesn't mean we are in some "instant gratification society" or that her BF is "a typical Millenial".
 
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OP, I'm not saying it's completely impossible to do RX school with that long of a commute but it's kind of like going into a shooting competition with one eye covered. You could, but why would you want to? Plus, with all that driving you'll wind up spending half your paycheck on gas (not to mention higher car insurance, more oil changes, etc). If you really want this, give yourself every opportunity to succeed.


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