Podiatry school and marriage

[Royal Rooters]

Advertisement - Members don't see this ad

Hey everyone,

I could not find a thread specific to marriage and podiatry school so I figured I would start one.

I was curious if those of you who are married and attending podiatry school would be willing to share how going through a rigorous medical education affected your marriage. Good, bad, whatever. Also, if you became parents during podiatry school, how did this affect things?

I've been married almost a year and will hopefully be attending podiatry school in Fall 2010. Additionally, when my wife was in law school we were engaged at the time, so we have some experience of trying to balance professional school with family life.

Any thoughts or comments are welcome! I'm curious to hear what people have to say. Thanks!

 

[jonwill]

Hey everyone,

I could not find a thread specific to marriage and podiatry school so I figured I would start one.

I was curious if those of you who are married and attending podiatry school would be willing to share how going through a rigorous medical education affected your marriage. Good, bad, whatever. Also, if you became parents during podiatry school, how did this affect things?

I've been married almost a year and will hopefully be attending podiatry school in Fall 2010. Additionally, when my wife was in law school we were engaged at the time, so we have some experience of trying to balance professional school with family life.

Any thoughts or comments are welcome! I'm curious to hear what people have to say. Thanks!

I started pod school married with one kid and finished married with three kids. It is a decision that has to be made together because you both have to sacrifice. My wife made some really good friends in the beginning (women with kids and husbands in pod school). She spent a lot of time with them. She accepted the fact that I was going to have to do what it took to get through and we made the best of it. I was gone A LOT. The first few years can be especially brutal depending on where you go. On the other hand, a lot of guys do it every year. A lot of my buddies were married with children as well.

 

[Royal Rooters]

Jonwill -

Thanks for the input. I'm glad to know that it's possible!

 

[lyhrrus]

Although I am not married, I would say in observing my class that it is possible, with the caveat that jonwill expressed in that your spouse needs to be extremely understanding and supportive. I would say almost a quarter of our class is married/has children/is expecting. It is certainly doable but the key is having that understanding (which means good communication, no small feat in any relationship).

 

[dropfoot]

"no small feat in any relationship" quote

You may not realize this Iyhrrus, but i am nominating you for pun of the year. Congradulations!

 

[msa786]

I am married and in pod school and like everyone else here says, having an understanding spouse is crucial. There will be many all nighters and late nights at the library so make sure your wife is prepared for that. But it is VERY doable and I wish you 2 all the luck!

 

[Royal Rooters]

Thanks for the positive words everyone! After being supportive through law school I can attest that patience and understanding are absolutely key. I'm glad to hear that many pod students are also married and/or have kids and/or are expecting kids.

Like pod school isn't difficult enough, pod students just like the extra challenge 🙂

Agreed - great pun by lyhrrus!

 

[podpal]

I graduated many years ago. The majority of married students in my class ended up divorced. My husband filed for divorce during my podiatry training. Several men from my class got divorced. One of my male pod friends and I were discussing what went wrong. We were both very studious and concluded that studying for tests became more important than tending to our families. The spouses may perceive this the wrong way and think they are no longer valuable in your life. What is particularly difficult is maintaining a marriage with time constraints.

Have you taken gross anatomy in a past class? The odor in the lab is terrible. The scent sticks to you. Sometimes spouses can be grossed out if they have little understanding of our educational process. Also, going through intensive study and human cadaver labs can change your perception of the human body. You may think of people in terms of systems rather than the whole.

During externships, clerkships, and residency you may get stuck away from home for at least 1 month, or even years...if your spouse cannot move to be where you are doing residency training. 🙁

 

[dropfoot]

I graduated many years ago. The majority of married students in my class ended up divorced. My husband filed for divorce during my podiatry training. Several men from my class got divorced. One of my male pod friends and I were discussing what went wrong. We were both very studious and concluded that studying for tests became more important than tending to our families. The spouses may perceive this the wrong way and think they are no longer valuable in your life. What is particularly difficult is maintaining a marriage with time constraints.

Have you taken gross anatomy in a past class? The odor in the lab is terrible. The scent sticks to you. Sometimes spouses can be grossed out if they have little understanding of our educational process. Also, going through intensive study and human cadaver labs can change your perception of the human body. You may think of people in terms of systems rather than the whole.

During externships, clerkships, and residency you may get stuck away from home for at least 1 month, or even years...if your spouse cannot move to be where you are doing residency training. 🙁

If your husband or wife could not wait for you to get through Podiatry school, and were non-supportive, than they were probably not worth having as a husband or wife to begin with. In most cases, this would have came out in the wash with or without professional school.

 

[podpal]

If your husband or wife could not wait for you to get through Podiatry school, and were non-supportive, than they were probably not worth having as a husband or wife to begin with. In most cases, this would have came out in the wash with or without professional school.

LOL!!! Pod school is only the beginning of the nightmare! Wait till residency! 😱

 

[air bud]

i would think it would help having a wife/husband in the medical field.

 

[longstech]

We were both very studious and concluded that studying for tests became more important than tending to our families. The spouses may perceive this the wrong way and think they are no longer valuable in your life. What is particularly difficult is maintaining a marriage with time constraints.

I am married, and think that this is a very good point. This past year, (my 1st year) sometimes my husband could not understand why after spending 8 or 9 hours at school, coming home and studying some more, did I need to go back to school to study for 2 or 3 more hours? Although this was usually during finals, it was frustrating to get him to realize that it was necessary for me to do well.

I think that your spouse will have to want you to complete your goal almost as much as you do, because if they don't it will be difficult for them when you are not available (which is pretty much all the time!)

Communication and probably setting aside some time to devote to your spouse would be crucial to your marriage.

 

[cool_vkb]

I guess AZPOD people can give best advise here. i heard half of the school is married😀

 

[244869]

What if your significant other is also in pod/med/dent/etc. school? Easier or harder? I can see that they might be more understanding but I would imagine a lot of time conflicts and possibly drifting apart.

 

[podpal]

It really depends on the people. Sometimes as people move "up" the ladder, get into good programs, they get big egos. This bad attitude can take as much of a toll on a marriage as the long separations. Another stress is that of externships or clerkships. What do you say to your spouse? "Well honey, I'll see you in a month. Have a good month while I'm out of state doing a clerkship. Keep working, pay the bills, and I'll see ya later!"
A few couples who did make it though were ones that had a lot of family and religious support. Two couples had professional spouses. They said their spouses were supportive but they admitted that school/study did cause more stress on their marriages.
It's very hard to make a spouse understand the time commitment involved. They may feel like you've abandoned the marriage, emotionally, as you commit that time to your career.
You think that if you make it through the pod program it's all going to get better. Then comes the residency search, not knowing where you'll be, if you'll match, it takes you to a whole new level of anxiety. If you get stuck in the scramble, get offered a job someplace where no one wants to live, and tell your spouse that you're moving FOR 3 YEARS!!! LOL!
This is one of the reasons I asked if anyone is working on getting more residency programs up and running. It doesn't happen by magic, but by taking the proper steps so that you get a slot where you WANT to BE. Many pod grads have familys and want or need to be in a certain location. If you fall into this category, you should be doing something to get a residency program started in a location that you want. Never assume that an existing program will take you, unless you are closely related to the dean of the school you attend.
Remember that almost ANY pod who has completed a residency could be a director. All you need is a teaching hospital and a willing pod. NOW that CPME changed the rules, the directors do not need to be ABPS certified. You may want to act fast before CPME changes the rules again. Rules in this field seem to change yearly. This is a huge open door and if you guys don't take advantage of it, you'll regret it.
Good Luck on your marriages!🙂

 

[Dr. Gangrene]

I am azpod 2011.
Almost all of my class is married.
I am married with 3 children, the most recent addition is 2 months old. I also am involved in a LOT of extra-curriculars (not to mention sdn lol).
It is VERY doable, but your spouse has to be on board. If you go in knowing the sacrifice now will pay large dividends in the future, it makes the challenge a little less daunting.
I can also say it flies by. I am now starting the 3rd year, and can't imagine were the time went. Maybe I am just getting old...

 

[Royal Rooters]

I am azpod 2011.
Almost all of my class is married.
I am married with 3 children, the most recent addition is 2 months old. I also am involved in a LOT of extra-curriculars (not to mention sdn lol).
It is VERY doable, but your spouse has to be on board. If you go in knowing the sacrifice now will pay large dividends in the future, it makes the challenge a little less daunting.
I can also say it flies by. I am now starting the 3rd year, and can't imagine were the time went. Maybe I am just getting old...

Okay, definitely seems like a lot of people in pod school are married which is nice. Double bonus too that many of them have kids. Lucky for me that my wife is supportive as we already went through law school with her.

Do you find that spouses of pod students tend to befriend the spouses of other pod students? I could see this working out as both a friendship and a mini-support group. Also, do married pod students and their spouses tend to hang out more with other married pod students and their spouses? I realize that free time is very limited, but I imagine that this is the case. But who knows, I could be way off.

 

[JEWmongous]

Okay, definitely seems like a lot of people in pod school are married which is nice. Double bonus too that many of them have kids. Lucky for me that my wife is supportive as we already went through law school with her.

Do you find that spouses of pod students tend to befriend the spouses of other pod students? I could see this working out as both a friendship and a mini-support group. Also, do married pod students and their spouses tend to hang out more with other married pod students and their spouses? I realize that free time is very limited, but I imagine that this is the case. But who knows, I could be way off.

Not sure if this is true for all the pod schools - definitely moreso at Azpod though.