Possible Withdrawal?

[gigirose21]

Long story short, this has been the toughest semester of my entire life. It isn't the course work, but it is everything else. My mental health has been rapidly declining. I got out of an abusive relationship a month and a half ago, and he threatened to kill himself, drop out of school, quit his job, etc. He wouldn't stop contacting my family.

When we broke up, I also lost my transportation since I don't have a car as of right now. So I've had to catch rides here and there, and sometimes pay $12-15 to get to school. On top of that, I've had bad family issues (my mother and her husband had similar dynamics). It's become really unsustainable and I've been trying to keep it all together. I'm seeking medical help now, and I've been functioning the best I can. I work as much as I can to pay for school and for a car, ( I don't qualify for any financial assistance but I'm going to apply for scholarships and loans). I had a 4.02 gpa last semester, and for this semester, I have a B inbiology and a C+ in chemistry (the only two pre reqs for the semester). Prior to that, I took a year off to work to afford school after completing a year and a half of course work in computer science.

I'm also doing research and shadowing. I am stressing out because with all this extra stress from my personal life, I've been unable to fully focus and my anxiety has been sky high. In a way, I'm proud of myself for not failing classes and still trying my best even with all this chaos around me, but also I feel like a failure because I know that a C in a pre req class won't get me into medical school. Am I being irrational? Should I withdraw for the semester until I can get everything in check before it's too late? I know that there are major setbacks to withdrawing right now, (no refund, have to retake the classes and pay a little extra, I set myself back a semester, etc.) but I honestly am not in a rush to get into medical school, I want to focus on really learning everything in undergrad and I don't feel like I can retain all this information right now. I know that the journey to medical School is a marathon not a sprint, so that makes it a little easier but I also know that financially, this isn't the smartest idea. I have till April 13th to decide, and I don't know what to do. I know that in retrospect, the problems I'm dealing with aren't huge compared to the weight of what so many people go through, even while attending medical school. I wish I could handle things the way those people do. I know that I want to be a physician more than anything in the world. Would it be a bad idea to withdraw for the semester?

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[deleted915763]

Yes, you should withdraw and focus on fixing your problems. A C in a pre-req class is not even close to the end of the world, but if you are smart, you will stop what you are doing and fix your problems before it gets to the point where you DO hurt your chances at getting into med school.

Withdrawing for one semester won't kill your chances, yes it will set you back time-wise, but if that's what needs to happen, so be it.

TLR ; You are in a good position to stop and fix your problems before it is too late.

 

[gigirose21]

Yes, you should withdraw and focus on fixing your problems. A C in a pre-req class is not even close to the end of the world, but if you are smart, you will stop what you are doing and fix your problems before it gets to the point where you DO hurt your chances at getting into med school.

Withdrawing for one semester won't kill your chances, yes it will set you back time-wise, but if that's what needs to happen, so be it.

TLR ; You are in a good position to stop and fix your problems before it is too late.

Thank you. I really am thinking that this is the best decision for me. Part of me wants to keep pushing forward since I'm not failing and only have a month and a half of the semester left but I think I need to get my mental health under control and get my car first, and also apply for financial assistance via loans so that I don't have all these added stressors when I study.

Does anyone else have any input? Like I said, the course work, research, ECS aren't whats stressing me out it's everything else.

 

[gigirose21]

Also keep in mind that I already did have a break for a year, would it be viewed negatively to see these breaks?

 

[Magus5454]

Also keep in mind that I already did have a break for a year, would it be viewed negatively to see these breaks?

In the words of other people , call it a marathon, not a sprint. My schooling was spread out over 10 years

 

[Dares Dareson]

Whatever you do, please STOP DATING A-HOLES. In fact, stop dating until you are accepted to medical school. Or don't date at all. It will just distract you from your goals. I think you can take a break as long as you're doing something interesting or productive.

 

[RNtoMD87]

I agree with the dating thing. I have a girlfriend, but the relationship is extremely secondary. I had to kind of "break up" with her to get my point across. She wanted to move in, etc, and got upset that I wouldn't communicate with her daily. I explained that getting into and excelling in med school is ALL that matters to me right now. If I only speak to her a couple times a week, that is completely fine.

Also the mother thing- I can relate. My mother is like a child, acts like a 16 year old girl. When my dad died, she couldn't handle anything by herself, and desperately sought the attention of men through online dating. I cut her off and did not speak to her for about two years except for when it was highly important. Now, shes doing better, becoming more independent etc. I still don't visit her, but I do communicate with her via text, and try to message her at least on a weekly basis.

 

[QofQuimica]

By all means, you should withdraw for this semester. Get your personal life together, and go back to school (either FT or PT) when you're ready. Also, consider some less traditional options, such as taking a job for your local university if they offer free tuition for employees. Some private companies offer tuition reimbursement to their employees also, although they usually expect you to commit to working for them for a certain amount of time in return for this perk. But first things first: you need to have a stable home life before you worry about tackling medical school prereqs. to you.

 

[siliso]

Consider withdrawing from toxic family and relationship structures also. Move, maybe. To a cheap apartment with roommates near school or to a new place entirely. If it is possible to cut out extracurricular stress and obligations for now and still realistically salvage your semester, that would also be an option. If things are still on a downhill trajectory at present or if they’re stable but can’t be realistically moving upward immediately, cut your losses and drop. School will still be there when you’re ready.

 

[Forever Geebs]

Withdraw. Get your life / personal matters together. Don't make the same mistakes. Re-enroll and kill it.

 

[princesspeach2]

Have you talked to an academic counselor at your school about your situation? I'm not certain how it works, but I have read in the past about people needing to withdraw in the middle of the semester due to personal/mental health issues, and rather than withdrawing, they were able to get an incomplete status, and then retake the classes the following semester with no penalty? It was something like that. If you haven't already, I really would go talk to an academic (or a regular counselor even) on your campus.

I definitely think you should withdraw though until you have your mental health/home problems in a better place, but I think you should find out the best way to go about it by talking to a counselor at school.

Also, when it comes to problems outside of school/EC's, don't trivialize what you are going through just because other people go through worse. Sure, there are people that have had it rougher than you do now, just like there are people who will never have to go through problems that you are having. Problems and circumstances outside of school affect everyone differently, you shouldn't feel bad that you feel overwhelmed and stressed. You have had to work to pay for school, are fresh out of an abusive relationship, lost your transportation, and don't have the best dynamic at home, cut yourself a break! You are going through a lot right now, and it is impressive to me that you have been able to keep up with all your EC's and school til this point.

Definitely take a break to get everything else outside of school figured out, after all, having good mental health and transportation are important things, and go easy on yourself. I know that the idea of pushing school back by a semester sounds like such a huge set back right now, and even if you have to withdraw for longer, in the grand scheme of life, it really isn't that long. It is better to take the time you need to set yourself up for success, then to risk what could happen to your mental health and grades if you continue when you aren't in a good head space.

I do agree that if possible, trying to remove yourself from your potentially toxic home environment would be good as well. It is amazing how much better a lot of people I know are doing now that they left their toxic home environments and moved out, but I understand that adds a new financial stresser.

From my understanding, it does not reflect poorly on applicants when there are breaks in their schooling. I mean, I am sure if someone took a year break between every semester, that might raise some red flags, but the year you took off to work to pay for school, and the time you are going to take off now, I can't imagine adcoms would think poorly of you for that.

 

[Ad2b]

In the words of other people , call it a marathon, not a sprint. My schooling was spread out over 10 years

hmmm - 1982 - to 1989 but officially, 1993 or 1994 (art class got missed and so degree not conferred).

probably 41 Ws, 35 F's, a sprinkling of D's, copious C's (with or without a - / +), a few B's and a few A's (sex ed, skiing, tennis, golf, music classes and yeah...)

At OP:

I WISH I would have stopped attending, gotten help for what the @#$ was my problem, got my crap together when I was your age so that I stopped dating abusive mashholes, stopped making poor decisions in my life... but then, I'd not have my 26 year old son, either.

So, yeah don't be me trying to do this 44; get your @#$ together now; drop the classes. Focus on you - what will make you better, because without your own mental health in tow and coping strategies worked out, med school won't matter.

Finally, this is something either I was told or I came up with or whatever:

Love yourself more than you love anyone else.

That is not to say become some narcissistic mashhole yourself, it's just that if you are finding/ are feeling less worthy or that you've done something wrong when your head tells you that you've not, RUN. Don't walk. Don't 2nd guess. Run.

There are many great men and women out there who will treat you right and be your partner, not your anchor.