Pre-Med Jokes

[CTG]

Okay, the salmon thread inspired me. Post pre-med jokes here. If I was funny, I'd have one to add. I only know two jokes, and they're not about pre-meds. One is completely inappropriate for SDN and the other is a Michael Jackson joke (also innapropriate but I'll tell it anyway if you guys want).

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[45408]

How do you tell the sex of a chromosome?



Pull down its genes!

 

[saffronrain]

Ya'll have probably heard this, but here it is anyway:

Two hydrogen atoms are taking a walk, when one says, "Hey, I think I lost an electron!"
The other goes, "Are you sure?!"
The first replies, "Yeah... I'm positive!"

😀

 

[deuist]

Check out the 12 Types of Medical Students from Scut Monkey.

 

[Wiggy73]

A couple that were posted on SDN awhile back:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
HIPPAA.
HIPPAA who?
I can't tell you!

What's the difference between a PPO and the PLO?
You can negotiate with the PLO.

 

[tank you]

how many premeds does it take to screw in a light bulb?
none, premeds dont screw, they study.

 

[schooldaze]

Question: How many surgeons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Answer: One. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

 

[shahalam]

Patient: Doctor, I broke my arm in two places!!
Doctor: Stay away from those places!

 

[jonb12997]

A group of pre-meds were sitting in physics class. One particularly frustrated student shouts out in the middle of class, "why do we have to learn physics, it is so stupid!". The professor stops his lecture, looks at the class, and says, "the reason you have to take physics, is it keeps the stupid people from becoming doctors."

 

[sga814]

Just a few a made up right now (I did!! Really!):

What do you call a pre-med who said he/she has never cheated?
- One of the weed-outs.

How many pre-meds does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Just the one who steals it and makes sure nobody else can get their hands on it.

Why did the pre-med cross the road?
- Because there was a professor's bare ass on the other side.

Who is the best pre-med of them all?
- I am, silly!!

What do you call a pre-med who pretends to be nice to other pre-meds?
- Normal.

What do you call a pre-med who says medicine is not about the money?
- Full of crap.


That's it for now. If you all like these, I'll think up a few more.

 

[Kitra101]

Just a few a made up right now (I did!! Really!):

What do you call a pre-med who said he/she has never cheated?
- One of the weed-outs.

How many pre-meds does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Just the one who steals it and makes sure nobody else can get their hands on it.

Why did the pre-med cross the road?
- Because there was a professor's bare ass on the other side.

Who is the best pre-med of them all?
- I am, silly!!

What do you call a pre-med who pretends to be nice to other pre-meds?
- Normal.

What do you call a pre-med who says medicine is not about the money?
- Full of crap.


That's it for now. If you all like these, I'll think up a few more.

You sound very bitter and I dont understand why. You got into medical school....I hope these were jokes and nothing more...

 

[Tiddly of Winks]

You sound very bitter and I dont understand why. You got into medical school....I hope these were jokes and nothing more...

You, sir, are no jokemaker.

 

[shahalam]

What's the similarity between a gynecologist and a pizza delivery man?
They can both smell it, but they cant eat it. LOL

 

[sga814]

You sound very bitter and I dont understand why. You got into medical school....I hope these were jokes and nothing more...

Why does this pre-med not understand humor?
- Because it's not on the midterm.

 

[Gimlet]

Why does this pre-med not understand humor?
- Because it's not on the midterm.

Hahaha...awesome burn!

 

[CTG]

What's the similarity between a gynecologist and a pizza delivery man?
They can both smell it, but they cant eat it. LOL

ew

 

[tank you]

what's a pirate's favorite amino acid?

arrrrrrrrrrrginine

 

[it.]

what's a pirate's favorite amino acid?

arrrrrrrrrrrginine

i'm ashamed at myself for laughing at such a corny joke 🙁

 

[sga814]

What rhymes with "pre-med"?

- Free Head

 

[LocutusofBorg]

What rhymes with "pre-med"?
- Free Head

must be one of the weed-outs..

 

[blingblah]

daymn zinger! har har

 

[sga814]

must be one of the weed-outs..

Yeah, absolutely!!! That's why I got accepted 3 schools!!!! Cause I'm a weed-out!!! You douche.

 

[FutureOrthoDoc]

Yeah, absolutely!!! That's why I got accepted 3 schools!!!! Cause I'm a weed-out!!! You douche.

accepted or not, you seem like a *******. 😴 👎

 

[leviathan]

What rhymes with "pre-med"?

- Free Head

I gotta agree, this one was lame...but some of the others were good. 🙂

 

[SD Skunk]

Just a few a made up right now (I did!! Really!):

What do you call a pre-med who said he/she has never cheated?
- One of the weed-outs.

How many pre-meds does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Just the one who steals it and makes sure nobody else can get their hands on it.

Why did the pre-med cross the road?
- Because there was a professor's bare ass on the other side.

Who is the best pre-med of them all?
- I am, silly!!

What do you call a pre-med who pretends to be nice to other pre-meds?
- Normal.

What do you call a pre-med who says medicine is not about the money?
- Full of crap.


That's it for now. If you all like these, I'll think up a few more.

hahahah that is funny as ****

 

[SD Skunk]

What's the similarity between a gynecologist and a pizza delivery man?
They can both smell it, but they cant eat it. LOL

AHAHLAKHALKHALKALKHLKALHAha

 

[sga814]

accepted or not, you seem like a *******. 😴 👎

I agree my last one was lame, but it seemed pretty funny while inebriated. So you can go stick some pins and screws or artificial hips you know where, byatch!!