Pregnancy and Postdoc

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VintageRed

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I am currently on internship. My husband and I are planning to try having a baby during my postdoc year at the VA. I was just curious how long others took off from their postdoc after giving birth? I am trying to save up my sick leave, but I will likely need to take a few weeks of LWOP and then extend my postdoc by that amount of time. Also - the feelings that I'll be disappointing my supervisor by taking time off to have a child are very real. I am sure they'll be supportive and that this isn't new territory for training supervisors, but I wish it were easier/didn't diminish the excitement of pregnancy!

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1) Congratulations! Have all the babies - it's the best thing we've ever done.

2) To get FMLA - you need to be there at least 1250 hours to be eligible. Not sure about VA policies - but there might be some form of short term disability that can cover you when PTO runs out. Are you currently on PDOC? There are worse places to have a baby than a place that has to follow federal guidelines.

3) **** 'em if they have issues with that - if you have a supervisor who is disappointed that you had a baby, they can **** right off. Most will be stoked with you and have kids themselves.
 
The VA offers family leave now. I want to say 90 days? Also not sure how it works with trainees, but staff always seem to take 3 months off.
 
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The VA offers family leave now. I want to say 90 days? Also not sure how it works with trainees, but staff always seem to take 3 months off.

Unless things have changed, trainees are not technically benefit eligible employees federally. Some of the same benefits have been conferred, but not all. OP, definitely check with HR, good luck with that Sisyphean task, and get things in writing.
 
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Ah, that's a bummer.

By the way, I highly recommend Reddit TTC groups. They have SO much knowledge.
 
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The VA offers family leave now. I want to say 90 days? Also not sure how it works with trainees, but staff always seem to take 3 months off.
I believe trainees are no longer paid leave eligible, it is infuriating.

I was on a multiple year postdoc and took 4 months (unpaid). I hope whoever is your supervisor is nothing but supportive.
 
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The VA offers family leave now. I want to say 90 days? Also not sure how it works with trainees, but staff always seem to take 3 months off.

I believe it is up to 12 weeks, but you have to commit to returning for work for at least 12 weeks after leave. As @WisNeuro said, I don't think trainees are covered.
 
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Yes - trainees are not considered "full time benefit eligible" at the VA which means you are not eligible for paid leave or FMLA. You are correct in needing to use up your sick time and then LWOP to finish out your leave and extending PD to account for any additional leave you took. I feel your burden heavily - I am done having kids now, but intentionally pushed back internship/PD in order to be done having kids/not pregnant during internship interviews or internship itself because I wasn't sure how folks would respond to me taking extended leave. I am currently on PD and have a colleague who just came back from maternity leave. I believe her experience has been incredibly positive. The previous cohort had someone take off for parental leave and another one of the current PDs is taking extended leave for other medical concerns. All this to say, I think PD is a great time to have a baby! You won't be eligible for all the benefits that you would if you had been a FT employee for a year, but if you can make it work, go for it!
 
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This is all very helpful, thank you! I guess I am naive about how much time is reasonable to take off without pushing myself to return to work too soon. I likely won’t take 12 weeks since that would be a decent amount of LWOP. Would 4-6 weeks be too soon? I am sure it can vary greatly and I can also crowdsource from Reddit groups, so thank you for the suggestion @cara susanna
 
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One point, which I'm sure you already have thought of: it's really hard to time pregnancy that exactly. Some people get pregnant much more quickly than they expected, some people take longer than they expected and/or need fertility treatments, some pregnancies result in miscarriages, some babies are born prematurely, etc. Not trying to discourage or scare you, but just pointing out that there's a lot about the timing of pregnancy/childbirth that's out of your control.
 
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Some states, like mine, offer paid family leave. I haven't looked into the qualifications for this, but it's from the state. So maybe see if your state has something like this, if the VA doesn't have it?
 
This is all very helpful, thank you! I guess I am naive about how much time is reasonable to take off without pushing myself to return to work too soon. I likely won’t take 12 weeks since that would be a decent amount of LWOP. Would 4-6 weeks be too soon? I am sure it can vary greatly and I can also crowdsource from Reddit groups, so thank you for the suggestion @cara susanna
Dude… take as much time off as possible. If you need a c-section, 4-6 weeks - that’s like the bare minimum.

This is the most tender time for you and your baby. If at all possible eat pb&j, scrape, borrow. You’re not gonna wanna go back that soon.

This is classic damned if you damned if you don’t. But, my wife had to go back for one week at two weeks post because of a lab emergency and delicate timing in her field. She’s still resentful over it.
 
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Dude… take as much time off as possible. If you need a c-section, 4-6 weeks - that’s like the bare minimum.

This is the most tender time for you and your baby. If at all possible eat pb&j, scrape, borrow. You’re not gonna wanna go back that soon.

This is classic damned if you damned if you don’t. But, my wife had to go back for one week at two weeks post because of a lab emergency and delicate timing in her field. She’s still resentful over it.
Agreed! I would say take at least the 12 weeks! I was in grad school when I had all (3) of mine. I went back to classes a week after giving birth to my first - it was awful, so stressful - I vowed to myself I would never pressure myself to go back to work/school like that again and took at least 12 weeks with the subsequent two babies! Borne is right - this is a tender time. In the long run, what is 12 weeks, even if all of that is added on the end of PD!? You will not regret taking the time.
 
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Some states, like mine, offer paid family leave. I haven't looked into the qualifications for this, but it's from the state. So maybe see if your state has something like this, if the VA doesn't have it?
If you are a federal employee, you are not paying into the state's paid family leave benefit, at least in my state.
 
This is all very helpful, thank you! I guess I am naive about how much time is reasonable to take off without pushing myself to return to work too soon. I likely won’t take 12 weeks since that would be a decent amount of LWOP. Would 4-6 weeks be too soon? I am sure it can vary greatly and I can also crowdsource from Reddit groups, so thank you for the suggestion @cara susanna
In terms of "recovery", the usual guidelines are 6w for a vaginal birth and 8w for a C-section. However, it can really take a long time to feel like yourself. I didn't even get close, honestly, until I stopped breastfeeding after a year. Everyone is so different.

I ended up extending my leave because I had a very challenging postpartum time, both physically and emotionally. Both the OB and pediatrician offered to extend it - I didn't even ask. I did not extend as long as they offered but I'm glad I did extend. If you have the financial flexibility, I would consider taking at least by the standard 🙄 12 weeks. Also...if your kid goes to daycare, you'll be taking a lot of sick leave that first year.

Some things to consider: if your program allows some telework, that may be a good option to use at least part time, especially if the commute is draining. Also, you could consider coming back after fewer than 12 weeks, but maybe do some part time work for a while.
 
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In terms of "recovery", the usual guidelines are 6w for a vaginal birth and 8w for a C-section. However, it can really take a long time to feel like yourself. I didn't even get close, honestly, until I stopped breastfeeding after a year. Everyone is so different.

I ended up extending my leave because I had a very challenging postpartum time, both physically and emotionally. Both the OB and pediatrician offered to extend it - I didn't even ask. I did not extend as long as they offered but I'm glad I did extend. If you have the financial flexibility, I would consider taking at least by the standard 🙄 12 weeks. Also...if your kid goes to daycare, you'll be taking a lot of sick leave that first year.

Some things to consider: if your program allows some telework, that may be a good option to use at least part time, especially if the commute is draining. Also, you could consider coming back after fewer than 12 weeks, but maybe do some part time work for a while.
This is my life right now lol. Our 6 month old was home 2 days last week and guess why i'm home today? I got whatever she had! I only have 8 more hours of PST...
 
I've used up all of my sick leave just TRYING to get pregnant, plus some days of employee health mandating I stay home because of COVID rules. Ugh.
 
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I've used up all of my sick leave just TRYING to get pregnant, plus some days of employee health mandating I stay home because of COVID rules. Ugh.
IVF? My wife is an embryologist.
 
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I've used up all of my sick leave just TRYING to get pregnant, plus some days of employee health mandating I stay home because of COVID rules. Ugh.

That sucks. My wife and I have been going through the process as well this year and it is exhausting. All the best and take care of yourself.
 
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IVF? My wife is an embryologist.

Oh, cool! I'm not at IVF yet but the RE appts are adding up. Plus I had a surgery to treat a medical condition that can cause infertility, and that took me out of work for over a week. Hoping it won't come to IVF, I have no idea how I would manage that with leave (plus none of the insurance plans offered by the VA cover any infertility treatments including IVF sooo).
 
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Oh, cool! I'm not at IVF yet but the RE appts are adding up. Plus I had a surgery to treat a medical condition that can cause infertility, and that took me out of work for over a week. Hoping it won't come to IVF, I have no idea how I would manage that with leave (plus none of the insurance plans offered by the VA cover any infertility treatments including IVF sooo).
IVF is a spectrum ranging from less expensive intrauterine sperm injections (IUI) with some meds to help trigger ovulation and increase follicle growth to the traditional intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) where they trigger you and get as many eggs as possible and take a single sperm and put it in the egg. Then they watch the embryo for development and transfer one or two (the days of octomom are long past) at day 5,6, or 7 and freeze the rest.

Fun fact - octomoms RE lost his license and is now an embryologist (but word on the street is he still directs his clinic through employed doctors).

Also, don’t assume the issue is you, a lot of people have poor swimmers that need a little help. My wife actually did her sisters IUI that was successful and resulted in twins! I’m sure your RE has explored that avenue, but have your partner get his swimmers looked at by a urologist!

The cast price varies wildly depending on location and how many clinics are in the area. But out here it’s like 3500 to 10k for ICSI with meds. IUI is substantially cheaper.

Btw- you can look at the stats for your IVF clinic on a website when youre shopping around.
 
Definitely a balancing act at this particular stage, though easier to do on postdoc as opposed to internship, considering start and stop times and needing to make up that training time so that your TD can legally sign off on your licensure paperwork. Postdoc shouldn't have the same issues, as jobs afterwards open up at different times.
 
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IVF is a spectrum ranging from less expensive intrauterine sperm injections (IUI) with some meds to help trigger ovulation and increase follicle growth to the traditional intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) where they trigger you and get as many eggs as possible and take a single sperm and put it in the egg. Then they watch the embryo for development and transfer one or two (the days of octomom are long past) at day 5,6, or 7 and freeze the rest.

Fun fact - octomoms RE lost his license and is now an embryologist (but word on the street is he still directs his clinic through employed doctors).

Also, don’t assume the issue is you, a lot of people have poor swimmers that need a little help. My wife actually did her sisters IUI that was successful and resulted in twins! I’m sure your RE has explored that avenue, but have your partner get his swimmers looked at by a urologist!

The cast price varies wildly depending on location and how many clinics are in the area. But out here it’s like 3500 to 10k for ICSI with meds. IUI is substantially cheaper.

Btw- you can look at the stats for your IVF clinic on a website when youre shopping around.
Thanks! I actually know a lot of this because one of my go-to coping mechanisms is reading and researching things. Every RE I've seen (including a reproductive urologist) was shocked by my level of my knowledge. I already know what IVF clinic we would go with if we do go that route, lol. Right now it's waiting to see if my surgery helped.

Actually it's been healthier for my mental health--while also the hardest thing--forcing myself to NOT research and look up things. This has been a great exercise in my distress tolerance skills, that's for sure.
 
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Thanks! I actually know a lot of this because one of my go-to coping mechanisms is reading and researching things. Every RE I've seen (including a reproductive urologist) was shocked by my level of my knowledge. I already know what IVF clinic we would go with if we do go that route, lol. Right now it's waiting to see if my surgery helped.

Actually it's been healthier for my mental health--while also the hardest thing--forcing myself to NOT research and look up things. This has been a great exercise in my distress tolerance skills, that's for sure.
Fertility challenges suck. With our second we had two pregnancies that just didn't take. It's interesting how just evolutionary compelled this breeding stuff is. I.e., that distress is primed through the ages to be an adaptive response.
 
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