You're probably a nice guy, Steve. But your post illustrates one of my biggest problems in medicine as an anesthesiologist. And it'll make me retire earlier than I would've otherwise. This issue is respect. Example, your patient could rotate between their primary care and a cardiologist for months/years, with you uninvolved, and you don't care. It's not your patient. As you say, you're PMR/pain and you don't deal with med management. But the second you get involved, and consult anesthesiology for services, anything other than doing what you want when you want it done results in you bad mouthing anesthesiology or looking askew at that particular anesthesiologist.
I have no idea what occurred. I think you said it was a year ago, or 6 months ago maybe. It obviously left a bad taste in your mouth. I'm sorry it occurred. My guess is though if you had a professional conversation with the anesthesiologist a lot of the drama or ill feelings could've been avoided. Maybe you two would have decided the case could be done under a MAC. Yeah, when patients are disinhibited, and 'light', they move to stimulation. It's natural and intentional. Most here access the epidural space using landmarks in wiggling, squirmy unsedated pregnant women routinely. Certainly one can do it using fluoro guidance and a 14g needle with some local and sedation. It may not be ideal for you, but it can be done. The most stimulating part of your procedure should be the tunneling of the leads, not accessing the space.
I don't really have an opinion on the particular patient aside from saying that a patient on lasix and K+ supplementation with a note from cardiology maybe isn't as straightforward medically as you think they are. I'd encourage you to rethink the relationship with you and the anesthesiologist when you consult them for their service. It isn't just 'provide general anesthesia' when and where you want it done.