Program Invited my Spouse

[blackwe11]

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Does anyone know that etiquette for spouses coming along to interviews?

One program asked if she would be coming. I was kind of surprised so I did not ask if she should come to the dinner the night before or the tour and information sessions at the hospital as well.

It actually makes some sense for her to come because it would involve us moving and she also works in health care and would be seeking a job at the same or a nearby hospital.

Alternatively she might be really bored and what if I am the only one who has their wife tagging along? Hmmm...

 

[gutonc]

Does anyone know that etiquette for spouses coming along to interviews?

One program asked if she would be coming. I was kind of surprised so I did not ask if she should come to the dinner the night before or the tour and information sessions at the hospital as well.

It actually makes some sense for her to come because it would involve us moving and she also works in health care and would be seeking a job at the same or a nearby hospital.

Alternatively she might be really bored and what if I am the only one who has their wife tagging along? Hmmm...

This invitation should be for dinner the night before only. Otherwise it's like bringing your mom to your med school interview.

 

[gstrub]

Mayo?

 

[Ludicolo]

Agree with gutonc. This is simply to get a head count for the pre-interview dinner.

I recommend she attend the dinner, chat with the residents’ spouses/SOs (if any), and get any other additional insights. She can check out the local area as you interview, and afterwards you can compare notes. Don’t bring her to the actual interview. Just don't.

 

[blackwe11]

Right, glad I didn't ask this question to the program administrator - she would have thought me a big weirdo.

 

[mcl]

Right, glad I didn't ask this question to the program administrator - she would have thought me a big weirdo.

I would rather you ask than make the assumption she should come to the interview day as well as the dinner. I had an applicant several years ago who brought her younger sister--it was pretty much disastrous for everyone who interviewed that day.

 

[peppy]

I had an applicant several years ago who brought her younger sister--it was pretty much disastrous for everyone who interviewed that day.

😕 I can imagine that making the applicant who brought the extra guest look bad, but how did the sister cause disaster for the other applicants?

 

[mcl]

😕 I can imagine that making the applicant who brought the extra guest look bad, but how did the sister cause disaster for the other applicants?

The sister was pretty young--maybe 19 or 20. She had brought nothing with her to occupy her time other than her cell phone and I didn't have anything with which to entertain her. She spent the entire morning in our conference room using her phone either for animated conversations with her grandmother or for playing games that emitted annoying beeping sounds.

At my institution, at any given time I have a few applicants who are not interviewing with faculty, so I sit in the conference room and chat with them, point out administrative benefits of our program (like that we pay for the Step 3 exam), and see if there are any questions about the area I can help answer. It was really difficult and more than a little awkward to engage that day's applicants in conversation because of the younger sister distraction. At one point when the sisters were together, I suggested that younger sister might like to take a walk on campus or visit our library and find something to read there, but both sisters balked at the thought of being apart.

Having the extraneous person definitely affected the feel and flow of the interview day in a negative way, and if I could do it over again I would not have let the younger sister accompany the applicant group to the conference room. If she insisted on staying at the hospital, we all would have been better off if I'd taken her to a waiting room area where at least she'd have access to a television set and some magazines.

 

[coup de chance]

Wow. I hope that applicant matched to where she wanted. Or else, she would probably still be mad at her sister. It's amazing how un-seriously that sister was taking her sibling's interview!

So when programs invite significant others to the pre-interview dinner, is it safer NOT take them? Because not everyone may take a significant other (SO), and so applicants could just chat with each other and the residents. And also, with just you, you don't have to worry about your SO accidentally making some kind of faux-pas.

On the other hand, if you took a SO, and they're an awesome salesperson, they could sell you and double the efficiency of selling yourself
And your SO could help you out in case you ran into any snafus during your interview trip.

The sister was pretty young--maybe 19 or 20. She had brought nothing with her to occupy her time other than her cell phone and I didn't have anything with which to entertain her. She spent the entire morning in our conference room using her phone either for animated conversations with her grandmother or for playing games that emitted annoying beeping sounds.

At my institution, at any given time I have a few applicants who are not interviewing with faculty, so I sit in the conference room and chat with them, point out administrative benefits of our program (like that we pay for the Step 3 exam), and see if there are any questions about the area I can help answer. It was really difficult and more than a little awkward to engage that day's applicants in conversation because of the younger sister distraction. At one point when the sisters were together, I suggested that younger sister might like to take a walk on campus or visit our library and find something to read there, but both sisters balked at the thought of being apart.

Having the extraneous person definitely affected the feel and flow of the interview day in a negative way, and if I could do it over again I would not have let the younger sister accompany the applicant group to the conference room. If she insisted on staying at the hospital, we all would have been better off if I'd taken her to a waiting room area where at least she'd have access to a television set and some magazines.

 

[atsai3]

Wow. I hope that applicant matched to where she wanted. Or else, she would probably still be mad at her sister. It's amazing how un-seriously that sister was taking her sibling's interview!

So when programs invite significant others to the pre-interview dinner, is it safer NOT take them? Because not everyone may take a significant other (SO), and so applicants could just chat with each other and the residents. And also, with just you, you don't have to worry about your SO accidentally making some kind of faux-pas.

On the other hand, if you took a SO, and they're an awesome salesperson, they could sell you and double the efficiency of selling yourself
And your SO could help you out in case you ran into any snafus during your interview trip.

Stop overthinking it. Generally programs that invite spouses/S.O.'s to any sort of pre or post interview day event do this so that your spouse/S.O. can also try to get a feel for the program and the people. If a program invites your spouse to the dinner and you want to take your spouse, then bring your spouse. If a program invites your SO to the dinner and you want to take your SO, then bring your SO.

-AT.

 

[jackieMD2007]

I saw an invite to bring the hubby as well--I think I will take him to any "second-look" dinners and not worry about him on interview day. 🙂