Quarter Life Crisis - Apply? Delay? Quit premed?

[MaybeBabie]

Like the title suggests, I'm going through a little crisis right now. My parents are biased, so I'm reaching out to the SDN community for some advice.

I went to university from 2018-2022. I graduated with a 3.97 GPA and double majored in biology and chemistry. Ever since halfway through my freshman year, I was on the pre-med track and devoted all my free time to ensuring that I would be accepted to a great program and become a doctor. By the time I graduated, I had racked up a killer list of experiences: 1500 hrs clinical experience, 500 hrs research with multiple poster presentations and seminars, 1500 hrs of nonclinical volunteering, 2500+ hrs as a college athlete, 350 hrs in my honors program, 1000 hrs of leadership, 1500 hrs of nonclinical employment, 1000 hrs being a teaching assistant and tutor, etc. Even though I sacrificed a lot during college (I rarely spent time with my friends or had personal time to relax or do something fun), everything that I did, I did to get me where I wanted to go. After graduating, I knew I needed a year or two before starting medical school, as I was pretty burnt out from college. I spent the summer relaxing a bit as well as mostly studying for the MCAT, which I ended up scoring a 513 on. Getting into medical school had been my life for 4 years.

In September of 2022, I moved to Hawaii for a Christian missionary program called YWAM. I was there for 3 months, followed by living in Asia for 3 months. While doing the program, I just felt so alive, relaxed, confident, and free -- which I hadn't felt in forever, at least not during the last 2 years of college. I just recently got home exactly 1 week ago. I now have to decide what to do next with my life and this is the challenging part.

I feel called to continue with YWAM, going back this upcoming September, which could last anywhere from 9 months - 3+ years. I originally just wanted to go back for the 9 month program and still apply to medical school this upcoming cycle like I planned to, having my primary and secondary applications done by the time I leave. However, now I'm worried that doing the interview part of the cycle will be hard not being on continental US.

My other option is to scrap continuing with YWAM and apply like I planned to. This option is financially and professionally smart and is what my parents want me to do, but it breaks my heart. I really desire to continue with YWAM even if just for one more year - I honestly hadn't felt like my truest and happiest self in years but when I'm there in that community, I do.

My last option is to scrap medical school, or at least delay applying to continue with YWAM. This option also breaks my heart because I poured everything into creating a killer application these last 3-4 years. It truly was my life. So taking something that I worked so hard for and sacrificed so much for and throwing it away is painful. At the same time, I worry about just delaying it because I fear that my application will decrease in worth as I get further from university. While in YWAM, I will have opportunities for volunteering and will have leadership roles, but will not be able to continue other things like gaining more research and clinical experience. Also my MCAT will be invalid if I don't apply either this cycle (2024 matriculation) or next cycle (2025 matriculation). This means that I would possibly have to tackle the beast again and this time it will have been several years since I've studied any science. I also have 6 killer letter of recommendation writers who agreed to write me letters for this upcoming cycle. I am just not sure if they will even be willing to write me letters 3 years from now or if they will be as good. So basically I'm worried that a delay would cause my application and chances to depreciate. I can still see myself in medicine one day, but I don't think that day is today.

I know that's a lot, but I would really appreciate some words of wisdom. I know that there are many members of the SDN community that are not religious, but I would still greatly value your advice. Thank you to all who take the time to read this and respond!

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[LunaOri]

Take a month or two now to relax and enjoy your normal life before you make a decision (I wonder how much of the thrill of your recent experience was really the delight of having some freedom?).

 

[Rachapkis]

Hopefully, taking some time to exhale and reflect will bring you clarity. FWIW, without knowing you and based on what you've written, it sounds like you have a workable compromise solution--i.e., return for the nine-month program and apply to medical school in the upcoming cycle after having drafted your primary and secondary applications. (Video interviews make this option possible without breaking the bank!) That would allow you to keep both options open and continue with the work you've found to be rewarding for at least another nine months.

Good luck!!!

 

[LindaAccepted]

Like the title suggests, I'm going through a little crisis right now. My parents are biased, so I'm reaching out to the SDN community for some advice.

I went to university from 2018-2022. I graduated with a 3.97 GPA and double majored in biology and chemistry. Ever since halfway through my freshman year, I was on the pre-med track and devoted all my free time to ensuring that I would be accepted to a great program and become a doctor. By the time I graduated, I had racked up a killer list of experiences: 1500 hrs clinical experience, 500 hrs research with multiple poster presentations and seminars, 1500 hrs of nonclinical volunteering, 2500+ hrs as a college athlete, 350 hrs in my honors program, 1000 hrs of leadership, 1500 hrs of nonclinical employment, 1000 hrs being a teaching assistant and tutor, etc. Even though I sacrificed a lot during college (I rarely spent time with my friends or had personal time to relax or do something fun), everything that I did, I did to get me where I wanted to go. After graduating, I knew I needed a year or two before starting medical school, as I was pretty burnt out from college. I spent the summer relaxing a bit as well as mostly studying for the MCAT, which I ended up scoring a 513 on. Getting into medical school had been my life for 4 years.

In September of 2022, I moved to Hawaii for a Christian missionary program called YWAM. I was there for 3 months, followed by living in Asia for 3 months. While doing the program, I just felt so alive, relaxed, confident, and free -- which I hadn't felt in forever, at least not during the last 2 years of college. I just recently got home exactly 1 week ago. I now have to decide what to do next with my life and this is the challenging part.

I feel called to continue with YWAM, going back this upcoming September, which could last anywhere from 9 months - 3+ years. I originally just wanted to go back for the 9 month program and still apply to medical school this upcoming cycle like I planned to, having my primary and secondary applications done by the time I leave. However, now I'm worried that doing the interview part of the cycle will be hard not being on continental US.

My other option is to scrap continuing with YWAM and apply like I planned to. This option is financially and professionally smart and is what my parents want me to do, but it breaks my heart. I really desire to continue with YWAM even if just for one more year - I honestly hadn't felt like my truest and happiest self in years but when I'm there in that community, I do.

My last option is to scrap medical school, or at least delay applying to continue with YWAM. This option also breaks my heart because I poured everything into creating a killer application these last 3-4 years. It truly was my life. So taking something that I worked so hard for and sacrificed so much for and throwing it away is painful. At the same time, I worry about just delaying it because I fear that my application will decrease in worth as I get further from university. While in YWAM, I will have opportunities for volunteering and will have leadership roles, but will not be able to continue other things like gaining more research and clinical experience. Also my MCAT will be invalid if I don't apply either this cycle (2024 matriculation) or next cycle (2025 matriculation). This means that I would possibly have to tackle the beast again and this time it will have been several years since I've studied any science. I also have 6 killer letter of recommendation writers who agreed to write me letters for this upcoming cycle. I am just not sure if they will even be willing to write me letters 3 years from now or if they will be as good. So basically I'm worried that a delay would cause my application and chances to depreciate. I can still see myself in medicine one day, but I don't think that day is today.

I know that's a lot, but I would really appreciate some words of wisdom. I know that there are many members of the SDN community that are not religious, but I would still greatly value your advice. Thank you to all who take the time to read this and respond!

The fact that you spent the last 4 years working terribly hard to become a doctor doesn't mean that you are obligated to spend the rest of your life working as a doctor. In the business world that is called "sunk costs," and sunk costs don't justify further investment. Anticipated future returns are what counts. You need to take the time to figure out if this is still what you want to do. Don't just continue down a path because you started on it if the destination is no longer where you want to go. I suggest you address the question of whether you still want to be a doctor BEFORE you apply to medical school.

That being said think back on those clinical hours or the times that you felt were most rewarding in your pre-med journey: Are those kinds of experiences still appealing to you? Realize that part of the doubts you're experiencing may just be from the extremely demanding schedule you had in college. If the demands on your time are less now with YWAM, are you distinguishing between a healthier, more balanced life style, which you naturally are enjoying, and the actual activities? Are you now your "truest and best self" because of the YWAM work or because you simply have a more normal life? If the latter, take a gap year or two and do YWAM and then apply to medical school.

Regarding IVs while abroad, that can be difficult. However, many programs are sticking with virtual interviews, but not all. You might have to ask for a virtual interview if abroad or fly in, which is obviously time-consuming and expensive. It would be better, if you decide to pursue medicine, to apply while your MCAT is valid.

If you are really enjoying what your doing at YWAM more than what you will do as a physician, then you have to decide how you want to spend the rest of your life professionally, and you have serious life style choices to make. Medicine usually may provides a higher salary than missionary work or something similar. (FYI I gave my own son somewhat similar advice when he was much younger and worrying about career options -- different choices though.)

 

[cj_cregg]

Why do you want to be a doctor?