Honestly this is vague to the point that I don't think we're going to be able to answer your question without additional information. But if you're getting feedback from multiple mentors that it might be too personal, it's probably too personal.Hi! Sorry to bother you again! I just have a question about the personal statement -- there is a lot of very deep introspection that plays into my answer to "Why Medicine?", and while everything I discuss in my personal statement maintains boundaries regarding specific details that could be considered too personal, it at times can be rather emotional in tone, and is a bit more philosophical rather than anecdotal. Truly very few anecdotes as it stands, but more so because I wanted to use the space to draw overall insights from my college and life experience, and how they relate to why I want to be a doctor.
My clinical mentors and professors have given me positive feedback in terms of writing, content, and authenticity, but they have advised me to consult with someone who is more familiar with the current medical education system, simply because it is a very vulnerable piece of writing. I've written a second version that answers the question authentically, but it is much less reflective, and doesn't really answer the question "Why Medicine?" in a way that is satisfactory to myself. I'm still very proud of what I wrote, but I fully recognize that such a level of introspection might not have a place here.
Any thoughts? Thank you so much!
First, do no harm with your personal statement. The odds that a personal statement is going to get you an interview that you otherwise wouldn't have based on the rest of your app is very low, but it can definitely be off-putting enough to get you passed over. I'd settle for bland B- over ambitious and possibly off-putting, IMO.