questions about personal statement

[Navypharm]

Advertisement - Members don't see this ad

I was looking at some medical school examples online, and I notices that a lot began with a story or a hook. Is this normal for pharmacy school aswell? Or should you just follow the pharmcas promt exactly?

 

[Twentytwelve2]

Well, for most people, "why pharmacy" begins by telling a short story because no one becomes interested in pharmacy without having a story to tell, right?

 

[RxRunner]

I'm a pharmacist who teaches at a community college, but my undergraduate coursework was as an English major. What I hear you saying is that you want your personal statement to stand out and that you wanted to know if person would be a good way of doing it.

First, I'll answer that question: as someone who was on the admissions committee, using third person in the entire work would come across as a person who doesn't have command of the appropriate use of the English language and when to use first person (correct), second person (awkward), third person (wrong), but I'll show you below how you can use it, briefly.

What makes you stand out is writing in the first person about the stories you have from other people. Most essays are about students talking about why they should get in and they all really look the same ... I am good at this, you should accept me because I am so good at this too...what is especially exciting to a bleary-eyed admissions representative is a strong narrative with strong characters, a plot and resolution in an unusual setting. Your first sentence is more important than all of the others put together. Look at the difference between these:

Weak:
My first experience with a pharmacy was at the local drugstore.
I always wanted to be a pharmacist.
I can't wait to help people as a pharmacist.

Strong:
The pharmacist spoke Spanish. The travelers English. I was able to use my knowledge of Spanish and English to help the travelers communicate the symptoms to the pharmacist and the recommendations from the pharmacist to the grandparents. Being able to tell a sick, weak and exhausted six-year old girl that she would be better soon...and so forth.

 

[lookatbanner]

I was looking at some medical school examples online, and I notices that a lot began with a story or a hook. Is this normal for pharmacy school aswell? Or should you just follow the pharmcas promt exactly?

Was on adcom last year for our pharmacy school. Some tips:

1) hook or an interesting first sentence is a good idea. hulk hate standard, boring statements.
2) try really hard to avoid cliches (i want to go into pharmacy because of my passion for helping people) unless you can clarify with details. for example, which people do you want to help? your family, underserved population, geriatrics, etc.
3) please have someone else proof read your statement before you submit it. a flawless essay tells us that you actually put effort into your application.
4) be honest and don't exaggerate. no one is going to believe you had an epiphany during your trip to Amsterdam when you were 5 years old that made you want to become a pharmacist.

 

[syl0sim]

Was on adcom last year for our pharmacy school. Some tips:

1) hook or an interesting first sentence is a good idea. hulk hate standard, boring statements.
2) try really hard to avoid cliches (i want to go into pharmacy because of my passion for helping people) unless you can clarify with details. for example, which people do you want to help? your family, underserved population, geriatrics, etc.
3) please have someone else proof read your statement before you submit it. a flawless essay tells us that you actually put effort into your application.
4) be honest and don't exaggerate. no one is going to believe you had an epiphany during your trip to Amsterdam when you were 5 years old that made you want to become a pharmacist.

Wonder if the last sentence comes from your experience as an adcom last year

 

[Navypharm]

Thanks for the advice. I have one more question does it look bad if it isn't 4,500 characters? I have a little more than 3,200. I know I could add more, but I feel like I got my point across. Should I think of more things to say or is this okay as long as it is well written?

 

[Pojman]

Thanks for the advice. I have one more question does it look bad if it isn't 4,500 characters? I have a little more than 3,200. I know I could add more, but I feel like I got my point across. Should I think of more things to say or is this okay as long as it is well written?

I think that the less is better as long as it is well written, and your point is well made.

I had 4475 characters, and I was worried that it was a bit too much. If I could have executed with about 3500, I think that would have been better.

 

[RxRunner]

Think from the point of view of an exhausted admissions committee member. A well written smaller work is much better than a long winded one. It's easy to see fluff. Don't expand it if you feel fluff will be added.