Quitting Residency For Medical Reason

[surgintern2020]

Hello there!

I am a PGY1 prelim surgical intern at a great program in a great city. After starting the residency I became depressed, not focused, anhedonic, feeling worthless and useless at work (like I have never been to medical school before), forget a lot, have a low self-esteem, and want to sleep all the time and escape reality. When I wake up in the morning I feel very very anxious and very fatigued to the point that I wish if I did not wake up forever. I was diagnosed and treated for depression since 2004 and because of the recent start of my residency my depression spikes. I also feel burned out maybe because I did not get enough break before residency (I was studying for STEP 3) and there is an overlap between the depression symptom with burn out symptoms.

My mind is overloaded with a lot of thoughts to the point there is no more space to think or care about patients. I forget a lot about the patients I see, and my memory is very poor. In addition to that, I feel very tired and weak to continue the rest of the year and I want just to have this year off because I am not feeling well and I don't know what I'm doing at work and I don't want to be a burden to the team.

I am currently considering quitting the residency because I really can't take care of myself and my patients, I feel I'm not safe to the patient. I can't afford and handle more stressor on top of my depression. I can't handle the painful anxious moment in every morning to push myself with this low energy and loss of interest and low mood. I worked so hard to get accepted to this program and I don't know why I am feeling that way. I am seeing a psychiatrist, he relates those symptoms to depression and he thinks they will go away after treatment. He requested a 2-week sick leave from my program and I am currently off work.

I am just wondering in case I don't get better,

what are the consequences if I quit the program for a medical reason?
What will happen to my VISA status? Should I go back home and do the 2-yr thing?
Will I be able to reapply? and what's my chance to get accepted in FM or Psych?
What is your advice?

FYI:
- I graduated in 2017
- STEP 1: 240s, STEP2ck: 230, STEP3: 229.
- Had 6 months of surgery research.
- Had 9 months of USCE(in IM, Ped, Surg) when I was a student.

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[DrMetal]

what are the consequences if I quit the program for a medical reason?
What will happen to my VISA status?

It'll terminate, and you'll have to back home to your home country.

Should I go back home and do the 2-yr thing?

What 2-yr thing?!

Will I be able to reapply? and what's my chance to get accepted in FM or Psych?

Probably hard. You can reapply to anything you want, but if you're a FMG, it'll likely be as hard as it was for you to land your current spot.

I don't mean to be crass, but if you're an FMG and you landed an American surgical residency spot, count your lucky stars, you won the golden ticket. I can almost guarantee you somewhere our there there's an American student that would love to be in your position.

You're six weeks into it. Seek some help, engage with your program to facilitate said help, and stick with it a little longer. It does get better.

 

[rokshana]

Agree with dr metal in that if you quit your residency, you are pretty much done with getting another spot...and you will have,I think, 30 days to go back home.

Listen to your psychiatrist...and hopefully your program will work with you ... but you have only been an intern for a few weeks...there is a big adjustment and learning curve the first few months...your fellow interns are probably dealing with some of the same issues.

 

[Mass Effect]

Don't quit just yet. Look into a longer medical leave if needed. Get things together. If you realize you just really can't do it, then you need a plan. Your mental health is not worth finishing residency. Talk to your PD if it gets that far. Ask your PD about the possibility of switching to another residency, see if he/she will help you out and maybe even put you in contact with FM or psych residency right there at your hospital or if he/she will support you staying on as a surgery intern (so you don't have to move) while you apply in this year's match.

 

[michaelrack]

It'll terminate, and you'll have to back home to your home country.



What 2-yr thing?!


I don't mean to be crass, but if you're an FMG and you landed an American surgical residency spot, count your lucky stars, you won the golden ticket. I can almost guarantee you somewhere our there there's an American student that would love to be in your position.

A surgical categorical spot would be the golden ticket. A prelim, not so much so

 

[FrustratedFamDoc]

You obviously CAN do this as your scores demonstrate aptitude, and the program took a chance on you. Your thinking and judgement are being overruled by your depression and anxiety issues. Before quitting anything, get on appropriate treatment. Intern year sucks, no matter the specialty. Those that tell you otherwise are masochists or lying. Switching to FM, if you are able to find an FMG friendly spot, is likely to leave you in the same situation that you find yourself in currently. You've put in a lot of work to get to this spot, don't let a temporary setback make a life altering decision for you.

 

[deleted480308]

Let’s not drift into medical advice

 

[CJack]

Just belatedly popping on here to say OP, please take care of yourself. I'm rooting for you.

 

[Food]

OP give treatment of depression an honest shot but do not doom yourself. Residency and being a doctor is not worth perpetual unhappiness and misery, there are many other paths, and it is completely fine to walk away from it. IMG or not, you can walk away from it if it continues to be horrible.