Raising a Sibling

[LadiiKay]

I spent a significant time of my childhood raising my younger sister (we have an 8 year age difference). My dad was always traveling and my mother worked 80 hours a week. With that, I was left at home to raise my younger sister. Everything from baby sitting, to helping her with her homework, to getting her ready for bed. Because I was a de facto parent, my education took a back seat and I didn't graduate with a 4.0 from college. I didn't do terribly by conventional standards (a 3.4) but my amcas gpa won't look spectacular to med schools.
I managed to check off all the other boxes of my application check list - A decent mcat, volunteering, research, shadowing, excellent LoRs etc.
but I still feel the need to point out that my lack of a 4.0 was due to me playing mommy from a very young age.
Should I mention it in my application? And if so, where? I didn't incorporate it into my personal statement because it doesn't really have anything to do with my desire to pursue a career in medicine.

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[Keladry]

It may be relevant to some secondary essays - challenges you've overcome, something that makes you unique - and most schools also have a place where you can include anything that's not elsewhere in the application, so if it's really important to you, you could always include it there.

 

[SPionic]

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[Goro]

That's an excuse, not an explanation. Never, ever mention why you did not excel as a student.


but I still feel the need to point out that my lack of a 4.0 was due to me playing mommy from a very young age.
Should I mention it in my application? And if so, where? I didn't incorporate it into my personal statement because it doesn't really have anything to do with my desire to pursue a career in medicine.[/QUOTE]

 

[LadiiKay]

That's an excuse, not an explanation. Never, ever mention why you did not excel as a student.


but I still feel the need to point out that my lack of a 4.0 was due to me playing mommy from a very young age.
Should I mention it in my application? And if so, where? I didn't incorporate it into my personal statement because it doesn't really have anything to do with my desire to pursue a career in medicine.

[/QUOTE]

That's why I didn't bring it up in my personal statement. I don't want it to be seen as an excuse, but at the same time, raising a child is a time consuming task. From a time perspective, it could be technically counted as an extracurricular, I just don't know if that's an appropriate place to mention it.

 

[theseeker4]

That's an excuse, not an explanation. Never, ever mention why you did not excel as a student.


but I still feel the need to point out that my lack of a 4.0 was due to me playing mommy from a very young age.
Should I mention it in my application? And if so, where? I didn't incorporate it into my personal statement because it doesn't really have anything to do with my desire to pursue a career in medicine.

I think this is a little too broad...there is a huge difference between the person who got a 3.1 because they spend 60 hours a week playing World of Warcraft, vs. the OP, vs. the individual who survived ovarian cancer after a year or two of tests/hospitalizations/surgeries/chemo etc.....To say flat out that you should never discuss why you didn't excel seems to be shooting yourself in the foot in some cases......

 

[DokterMom]

Your tone of voice made it sound like an excuse -- an unwelcome chore.

Try rephrasing it as an opportunity and a privilege and see what happens --

Heck, try viewing your experiences as a privelege.

 

[LadiiKay]

Your tone of voice made it sound like an excuse -- an unwelcome chore.

Try rephrasing it as an opportunity and a privilege and see what happens --

Heck, try viewing your experiences as a privelege.

Of course it's been a wonderful thing for me. That goes without saying. I'm an extremely proud older sister. I've got the "proud parent of an honor student" bumper stickers on my car to prove it! (Lol)
It just hasn't been easy. As humbling as it's been to see my little sister grow into an amazing young woman under my care, this wasn't a responsibility that the 8 year old version of me signed up for. Raising a child is by no means an easy task, it is one that requires many sacrifices and a big time commitment. Doctor's appointments, music recitals, parent/teacher conferences etc.
I do not regret the decisions I made, nor am I sorry that I had to make them. I was just trying to state the situation in the most matter of fact way.

 

[SPionic]

Thinking about this again -- I am assuming that you are from a lower middle class/working-class background and your parents needed you to provide childcare for financial reasons. I would definitely *not* make a big point of this role if it could be perceived that your parents made enough $ that they could have paid for childcare. Even if they actually couldn't because of x/y/z circumstances, it does look bad to appear to be poormouthing.

 

[Zelda840]

I would talk about it being a challenge you have overcome on secondaries and not mention the lower GPA. Just talk about how it make you understand real responsibility from a young age. It doesn't need to be an excuse for less than perfect grades.

 

[DokterMom]

Of course it's been a wonderful thing for me. That goes without saying. I'm an extremely proud older sister. I've got the "proud parent of an honor student" bumper stickers on my car to prove it! (Lol)
It just hasn't been easy. As humbling as it's been to see my little sister grow into an amazing young woman under my care, this wasn't a responsibility that the 8 year old version of me signed up for. Raising a child is by no means an easy task, it is one that requires many sacrifices and a big time commitment. Doctor's appointments, music recitals, parent/teacher conferences etc.
I do not regret the decisions I made, nor am I sorry that I had to make them. I was just trying to state the situation in the most matter of fact way.

Wonderful to hear. And it will be regarded very positively if you make sure that your descriptions maintain the proper tone. (This one )

Maybe mention the joys and challenges the joys of being a parent at a very young age before clarifying that, OK, technically, you weren't the parent, just the de facto caregiver. (I agree with @SPionic that if it was financially necessary vs. 'selfish careerist' parents, this should also come through.) Clarify also that now your 'baby has left the nest' and you're able to devote 100% to your own education again. It will help if you've got some 'kid-free' academic achievements that will back you up on this.

Good Luck --

 

[LizzyM]

Account for your time by listing it in the experience section as "other" and account for the actual "hands on" time you were actively engaged and unable to study (e.g. not the time when you were stuck at home while she was sleeping).

 

[Elisabeth Kate]

I agree with those who said this is a secondary essay answer, not an excuse for a 3.4 GPA. Don't even bring that up. It does sound like an excuse when you use it in that context. Instead, use it for those essay questions that ask about what unique qualities you bring to the class and talk about responsibility and time management. Use it to talk about overcoming adversity and mention how difficult it was to be in the parent role, but how grateful you are for the experience and how proud you are of your sister. Adcoms should always put down your application with a smile on their face thinking what a positive person you are for making the best of a bad situation with no regrets, no what ifs, and no excuses.

 

[UlahSnackbar]

I spent a significant time of my childhood raising my younger sister (we have an 8 year age difference). My dad was always traveling and my mother worked 80 hours a week. With that, I was left at home to raise my younger sister. Everything from baby sitting, to helping her with her homework, to getting her ready for bed. Because I was a de facto parent, my education took a back seat and I didn't graduate with a 4.0 from college. I didn't do terribly by conventional standards (a 3.4) but my amcas gpa won't look spectacular to med schools.
I managed to check off all the other boxes of my application check list - A decent mcat, volunteering, research, shadowing, excellent LoRs etc.
but I still feel the need to point out that my lack of a 4.0 was due to me playing mommy from a very young age.
Should I mention it in my application? And if so, where? I didn't incorporate it into my personal statement because it doesn't really have anything to do with my desire to pursue a career in medicine.

That's great that you took care of your little sister. I think you can incorporate that into your PS/interview by talking about how you liked caring for your sister and how this can help you as a doctor trying to care for your patients.

 

[Goro]

Much betetr to spin it as "depsite taking care of my younger sister full-time", I was still able to do A, B and C.. However, your GPA still needs to convince adcoms that you can handle medical school.

The logic of "if I didn't have a sister and all these responsibilities, I'd have a 4.0 GPA" doesn't go over well wirth us.



That's why I didn't bring it up in my personal statement. I don't want it to be seen as an excuse, but at the same time, raising a child is a time consuming task. From a time perspective, it could be technically counted as an extracurricular, I just don't know if that's an appropriate place to mention it.[/QUOTE]

 

[kyamh]

Sorry OP, I don't buy it. You are talking about your college GPA - when you started college, your sister was at least 10.

A tween/teen is not that huge of a time suck. Conferences, recitals, soccer practices are tedious but times that you can bring a text book and study. Definitely talk about your experiences in the activities section and talk about how you took on major responsibilities early, but don't blame your college GPA on your family dynamic. If you want to click disadvantaged and talk about the how you were had major stresses in elementary/middle school...that's a whole different can of worms.

My siblings are 10, 13, and 17 years younger than me and I know all about cooking, cleaning, and caring for kids full time from an early age. Children are a challenge, but your situation sounds like small potatoes. Moreover, if you took care of her all that time, why were you not better prepared to deal with this challenge in college, after many years of practice and with an easier task?