I'm really struggling with the death of my baby otter. He was orphaned around 4 weeks old and I bottle babied him and handraised him for 6 weeks. He declined suddenly and rapidly (something neurologic, still waiting on the path report) and even though I did everything I could, he passed away in my arms. It's been a few weeks now and I still think of him constantly, I dream about him at night. I sometimes feel hit by the pain all at once and start to cry, especially if I happen to hear the music I played for him often (Sarah McLachlan).
I've lost many animals in my tenure as a zookeeper and in vet but none has ever affected me so deeply. It feels like the worst loss I have ever experienced honestly. It's hard to talk to people about it as well because non-animal people don't really understand it, and they tell me I should try to get over it because it was just an animal and I only had him for 6 weeks. I miss you so much my Jojo, my little milky boy, your abscence is a void, I will spend my whole life waiting to meet you in the endless river.
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