Reactions to Your Career Change

[Longcatislong]

Because I know my friends/family were a little bit surprised when I told them that I wanted to quit my job and go back to school for a pre-med post-bac (I want to apply to dental school btw), I'm curious how yours reacted when you made the switch to pre-med?

Was it surprising for people, especially if your prior career/education was completely unrelated to medicine? Were people, overall, supportive of your decision to go back to school and become a doctor/dentist/(other health professional)??

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[DrMidlife]

Making the jump was a barometer for the health of several relationships.

The majority of my family & friends were absolutely on board and excited for me.

I had a couple of work friends who ridiculed me for leaving the money behind. They couldn't understand how the motivation to improve stockholder value had lost its ability to get me up in the morning. Not sure what they're doing now.

My boyfriend at the time was against it. I think this was because he desperately wanted to quit his job and write for a living, but was terrified of doing so...and if I did it he "had" to do it. This didn't break us up (other things did). He ended up getting laid off and is trying to write for a living anyway.

And, worst example, my closest friend at the time, with whom I'd traveled the world and with whom I'd celebrated holidays for years, thought I was being dramatic, selfish, arrogant and egotistical to pursue medicine when there's such a nursing shortage. I've had a few years to reflect on this, and I think I did the right thing by ending that friendship. Even though her adjectives are largely correct.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Isoprop]

kept it a secret from most people except closest friends and families. hell there's still some of my friends who don't know i got accepted.

 

[6SAnthony]

My family and friends had no problem with it. Several of my professors, on the other hand, were not as supportive. One of them called me out in class and pointed out that I had to do pre-med class, would have to pay for medical school, that PhD had better research training, etc. I just sat there stunned. She is my favorite professor, but really!?

 

[tlshark]

Because I know my friends/family were a little bit surprised when I told them that I wanted to quit my job and go back to school for a pre-med post-bac (I want to apply to dental school btw), I'm curious how yours reacted when you made the switch to pre-med?

Was it surprising for people, especially if your prior career/education was completely unrelated to medicine? Were people, overall, supportive of your decision to go back to school and become a doctor/dentist/(other health professional)??

Another one of those things, not willing to deal with right now. The only person who knows my intentions is my wife. No one else pays my bills, they have no business knowing what I am doing.

 

[bryce]

By and large, my family wasn't supportive at all. I am coming from a successful career in the army, and as a prior-enlisted officer I am turning down very good money to do this. Doing it anyway. FIDO.

 

[CW 2010]

I keep it secret. Nobody knows what school I am going to - Nursing, PA, PT or DO/MD. Most people think it's PA. I am not 100% sure myself, keeping PA as a Plan B and Nursing as a Plan C

I found that people tend not to be supportive. Instead I hear things such as "oh, how old are you? why do you need it? you have a degree - get a job. you need to start a family" and etc... So, to avoid this discussion altogether I just keep my mouth closed.

 

[tlshark]

I keep it secret. Nobody knows what school I am going to - Nursing, PA, PT or DO/MD. Most people think it's PA. I am not 100% sure myself, keeping PA as a Plan B and Nursing as a Plan C

I found that people tend not to be supportive. Instead I hear things such as "oh, how old are you? why do you need it? you have a degree - get a job. you need to start a family" and etc... So, to avoid this discussion altogether I just keep my mouth closed.

The phrase that comes to mind for me is: "Well done, is better than well said."

 

[rafflecopter]

My family tried to talk me out of it. They thought it was a bad decision and that I wasn't hard working enough to get into medical school. My best friend told me I had no hope of getting in. They all changed their tune to "hopeful" and "rooting for me" once they saw several semesters of straight A's and knew I was serious. The tune changed to "he's for sure going to be a doctor!!!" after my MCAT and right now the tune is "he's for sure getting into a great school" after my interviews.

 

[LaZigeuner]

It took several quarters of good grades in my post-bacc for my parents to get on board, though now they're full in.

My brother, on the other hand, is not supportive. He thinks I should keep practicing law, that if I become a doctor, I'll become an *****hole (didn't have this problem with my becoming a lawyer, oddly).

After I explained to my aunt how miserable I was practicing law, and all the reasons I'd decided to switch careers, she told me that I was an adult, I'd made my bed, and now as an adult, I should lie in it. She does not speak to me anymore.

All but one of my friends from college (friends for the last 20 years, in other words) have cut me loose, as well. They had various reactions from calling me a dilettante and a perpetual student to telling me I was crazy--but the calls and e-mails and visits and invitations have stopped being answered/offered. As for others above, my decision served as a test of the strength (or weakness) of many of those relationships.

On the other hand, my SO has been and is behind me 100%--and his support is the most important to me.

 

[familyaerospace]

Many of my professors are supportive. Two out of my four doctors are supportive. My family is not supportive because they think I am too much of a big chicken to ever become a doctor.

 

[Salient]

My wife and her family have always been supportive, and they've been around since before I decided on medicine.

My mother and sister are very much into the naturopathic woo, and would much rather me be a dentist.

As I was getting out of the military, a lot of my peers and supervisors were pretty surprised, but I think that's mostly just because not many enlisted Marines seem to go on to professional school.

My friends now are all extremely supportive

 

[Salient]

It took several quarters of good grades in my post-bacc for my parents to get on board, though now they're full in.

My brother, on the other hand, is not supportive. He thinks I should keep practicing law, that if I become a doctor, I'll become an *****hole (didn't have this problem with my becoming a lawyer, oddly).

After I explained to my aunt how miserable I was practicing law, and all the reasons I'd decided to switch careers, she told me that I was an adult, I'd made my bed, and now as an adult, I should lie in it. She does not speak to me anymore.

All but one of my friends from college (friends for the last 20 years, in other words) have cut me loose, as well. They had various reactions from calling me a dilettante and a perpetual student to telling me I was crazy--but the calls and e-mails and visits and invitations have stopped being answered/offered. As for others above, my decision served as a test of the strength (or weakness) of many of those relationships.

On the other hand, my SO has been and is behind me 100%--and his support is the most important to me.

I really don't understand this. Perhaps I'm lucky that I've never had any friends or family that are so superficial they will reject you over your decision to switch careers. Like I said above some of my family isn't thrilled about me becoming a pharma shill or whatever I'll turn into, but it's not like they stopped returning my calls or anything. Why would people let something like this change what they think of you and how they treat you? This blows my mind!

 

[MAnne]

The negative reactions people give are their own insecurities of what they wish they had the balls to do. I get some negative feedback from my older sister like - "Oh I'm so done with school" (took her 16 years to get her master's in health administration, she was a nurse). I 'm happy for her, she did with while having 3 kids. But, jeeze, every time someone asks me how is school? Stop it already. Maybe she was so used to being in school that now she doesn't have it to complain about?
My parents are really happy, but my dad gets worried I do too much. It's that retired state of mind. They get so used to doing barely anything they think having to do half of what I do is too much. I mostly get really admiring comments. I do have some clients ask who will do their hair when I'm a doctor and I told them that I will still need my artistic outlet and will never stop doing makeup and hair. I even have plans to incorporate it into my private practice. =0)
People that complain or are negative don't know how to be any other way. It's like a language, they need to learn it themselves and apply it. You can't teach them unless they want to learn. Some don't even know they're doing it.

 

[alexandra84]

Most of the people think that changing a career means failure to cope with your previous one. Some of the most interesting people I met in my life didn't know at the 20's what they wanted to become in their life. And now that they are at their 30's and 40's, they still don't. Failure is a matter of perspective...
Our education opportunities nowadays are limitless...let's find the right path...

 

[toooldforthis]

Mom-"...Thats going to be a lot of work."
Me- "Yep."

 

[dbeast]

Everybody thought I was joking.

A lot of people still do... To some old coworkers, my "interviews" are secret business meetings with competitors.

 

[iheartstats]

kept it a secret from most people except closest friends and families. hell there's still some of my friends who don't know i got accepted.

I, too, am keeping it largely a secret.

I think a lot of people will doubt my commitment because I've been somewhat aimless in the past. Hard to explain how things are different now, but they are.

I guess I'll come out of the medical closet when I get accepted?

 

[wholeheartedly]

"the medical closet" that's a good term for it. I haven't told many people yet.

I've gotten some mixed reactions too. I was the only one in my college group of friends that wasn't pre-med, even though deep down it was what I really wanted. None of them followed through for various reasons. A few years later they seemed pretty surprised when I mentioned it, supportive though. My closest friend growing up said it was about time. lol.

My mom was really opposed at first. Now she's very supportive. She actually said she could see me doing peds onc. which is something I'm very interested in but had never talked about.

Interestingly I had a couple instructors tell me they thought I'd be good at it but told me I shouldn't do it. They told me not to sell my soul. I don't know if they meant the time sacrifice or that it changes people for the worst.

The strangest was when I was visiting home and ran into the mother of a girl I used to hang out with in high school (like 7 years earlier). She asked me if I was a doctor yet. I hadn't discussed it with anyone at that point so there was no way she could have known that what I was interested in. I must be easy to read.

 

[ChE04]

I'm amazed at the negative reactions from some of your friends and families. Then again, if you have a wife/husband/kids, I suppose it is a pretty selfish pursuit to leave a good career and roll the dice on medicine. But that should between you and your immediate family anyway. I also don't know how you can keep something like this quiet, unless you are still working full time and don't want your boss to know. If I had a friend who just all of a sudden said, 'well I just got accepted into med school, which I've been working on in secret for 2 years' I would think that's a little odd, why the F didn't they tell me? If you're worried these people aren't going to be supportive, why would you want to hang out with them anyway?

 

[mauberley]

My family and friends have been nothing but supportive and encouraging, but pursuing medicine isn't a new idea. I think some of them were wondering what took me so long (I've been at my present job for 7+ years--is that enough to qualify as a career change?).

 

[Mensaf]

A few people told me that it was too late for me to get into it, and that it was a bad move. My reaction:

 

[SoManyKids]

I've been reading this with interest because, with the exception of my husband, I've kept my hopes a secret. I confided in a few friends and they were horrified, because we have children. They're like, "Who would take care of the kids??" Well, who usually takes care of the kids when children have two parents working? It was odd because one of my friends is a working mom, but for some reason it was okay for her to have a job but not me If my husband and I figure out a way for it to work, no one else should care.

 

[Dianyla]

By and large, the overwhelming reaction from my family and friends was "Well it's about damn time!"

Surprisingly few reactions of the "WTF? Why? Noooo!" category. The main reaction at work for years was a denial-based "Uh huh" that is eventually changing to "Uh Oh" as it gets closer in the rear-view mirror.

Making the jump was a barometer for the health of several relationships.

This is so very true.

 

[katiemaude]

I am not married and have no kids. Also, no significant other. I think the first two can definitely complicate other's reactions. (But seriously, unless it's your spouse with an opinion, tell them MYOB.) My parents were extremely supportive when I initially decided to go get my prereqs for PA school. I had two passions when I entered college and I pursued one of them fully. Ten years later, I knew there was a ceiling that I was hitting and I didn't like the other avenues for moving up. They just didn't appeal. So when I was laid off, they were actually elated for me. Perfect opportunity to scale down topart-time work, freelancing in my old career and going to school full-time.

The 'rents were a little shocked, but still supportive, when I started making noises about med school. I think maybe they are still hoping I will come to my senses about the debt and the years in school. They are paying for my health insurance while I'm in school full-time. That's support, right?

My sister and a good friend played devil's advocate with me about med school and while my sister has come around 100 percent, my friend still thinks I am going to regret turning my life over to medicine, and that being a PA would give me a better lifestyle. I don't disagree with her exactly, but I wish she'd get to the point of being happy for me. Right now she tends to look at me like I'm about to walk off a cliff any second.

Overall, the consensus among my loved ones seems to be 1) I've never been happier than as a premed, 2) I have a compulsive need to know everything about a subject , so med school would suit me better than PA school, and 3) I have the intelligence and drive to do it, but 4) they are nevertheless hoping I'll fall in love and get married and have babies and downshift to a master's program.

 

[CaptainObvious]

My med school plans remain, for the most part, unknown to anyone but my wife and kids. My parents don't even know. It's just easier than having to explain all the details, hearing about "pipe-dreams", and being called "doctor" by every firefighter I work with from now until I retire. I just don't care for all of the judgments that people make when they hear about your big plans that, for most, would be largely unreachable.

Sometimes it feels like people are thinking "I haven't accomplished all that I wanted to in my life, so you shouldn't either."

Yea, well, keep your regretful, judgmental, negativity to yourself. It's full steam ahead for me.

 

[Helen Wheels]

I told very, very few people about my med school plans. I figured the fewer people that knew about it, the less embarassment if I failed miserably.

I was accepted in July and I have been really happy about the acceptance so have been telling more people. Most people are pretty surprised though I am sure it is because I never mentioned it previously and I am an uber-nontrad at age 39. Everyone is pretty supportive, though.

 

[SteveJMarist]

My family and friends have been nothing but supportive and encouraging, but pursuing medicine isn't a new idea. I think some of them were wondering what took me so long (I've been at my present job for 7+ years--is that enough to qualify as a career change?).

Same here. Not quite as long out of school, though. I graduated in 2009 and have been working in an unrelated industry (software). I'm still trying to find out if I'm a "non-trad" or not...

 

[aesposito]

I have told no one but the DO I work with (I picked his brain a bit on CCOM since he's an alum). I then swore him to secrecy.

When I became a paramedic at the age of 30, the reaction from family and co-workers ranged from annoyed to downright hostile. Now in my mid-40's, I don't want to go through that again until I have a med school acceptance letter in hand.

A

 

[GeorgiaBelle]

My decision, like most of ours, I'd suppose, came out of nowhere for my family and friends. It was something I'd mulled over for a good year. I knew that my original plan of working in my chosen field (theatre) and taking my pre-reqs simultaneously was a BAD idea, so I decided to move home, find a job at my local hospital and do my pre-reqs.... which meant telling people.

My grandmother was the only member of my family who was supportive (she is a nurse, so she thought it was fabulous). My mother tried to talk me out of it, at first. My grandfather and his wife basically "disowned" me. All my aunts and uncles thought I wouldn't be able to do it and were quite verbal about it. My friends were, of course, the most supportive bunch -- most of them have had career changes or gone back to school by now, as well.

The thing is, my best decision was to work in the hospital because, other than my grandmother, my co-workers have been my biggest cheerleaders and support system these past three and a half years. Not just the nurses, but the doctors, too. There were no if-ands-or-buts about it, really. To them, I was going to be a doctor, and they were going to help me.

My grandfather and my aunt and uncle have yet to congratulate me on my acceptance (which came in Sept), but my nurses and doctors? They threw a party.

 

[TickTock719]

I worked on Wall Street and kept it a secret until a month before I left because I was afraid of getting laid off.

When I broke the news, my colleagues said, "You know you could make more money here, right?"

Now my old co-workers buy me drinks and tell me it's awesome. Then they ask me about all their pains and rashes that I never wanted to know about

 

[CougarMD]

Love love LOVE this thread.

Mom - That sounds great honey. It is actually what I thought you should do all along but I didn't want to push you into it.

Brother - you're smart...seems like a good idea. You'd make a great doctor.

Best Friend - (At first) I really don't get it, but I support whatever you do. (After 4 years of prereqs) Ok, I sort of get it and still support you. (After 5 years of prereqs, the MCAT, and the 5th interview invite) Damn....this is really what you're supposed to be doing, isn't it? You go girl. And I still support you.

Fringe Friends - Why would you do that? Aren't you happy as a yoga teacher? (All gone now)

Amazingly....this "cycle" in my life has been the easiest as far as my emotions when losing friends. I have finally realized that there are people who stick with you, people who you may lose and come back together with several times, and other people who are just short term friends. It does not make them any less meaningless, but they gelled with you for a certain period of your life and then that was it....you go your separate ways. I appreciate them for being my friends when they were, but I am much better at seeing when I need to back off of or end a relationship and throughout this whole process I think that has been my biggest lesson.

 

[Gamechanger]

i have told a few coworkers i can trust and a few friends. other than that i keep it to myself. i have been in defense contracting for almost 10 years and i decided it was time to change. i used to be really into my work and i thought it defind me until i realied this is not how i want to be defined.

so im doing undergrad in hopes of becoming a pa. my parents are suppotive and happy, the few other ppl i told werent phased by it... maybe they think i wont make it but i am determined.

my wife who is an lpn is very supportive although she doesnt like me gone to school at night and work all day but we know its for the best

 

[fizzgig]

man i'm glad the thread seems to be getting happier... i am kind of appalled at some of the reactions y'all have gotten... i give you internet hugs.

i've only told a few people too so far. family probably thinks i'm a bit nuts but MD has been on the table easily since high school, medicalesque stuff since way before that, so they couldn't be too shocked. couple of friends, think i'm crazy bc it will take forever, but same deal probably... none too shocking. this may be related to my current degree pursuit being in biomedical engineering

around my work i've told almost no one bc i need to gather my plan and discuss with the bossman first and i didn't want it to get to his ears before i am the one speaking. did tell one friend here though randomly and crazily enough she is doing the exact same thing!

 

[LifeTake2]

I told family & close friends but almost nobody else.

In fact, when I left my job I had a staff of nearly 30 and told them that I was 'going a different direction'. I didn't give my boss much more and my peers didn't even know I was leaving until the day prior when we sent out a email about my going-away-lunch.

I put a ton of thought/effort into this decision and I only confided in those who's opinion I cared about. I didn't need 400 armchair-quarterbacks sharing their thoughts on my quitting my job to do this.

 

[NuttyEngDude]

My friends and family have been extremely supportive, almost astoundingly so. I suppose it was because I was so miserable previously.

Other than that, I have told no one. I agree with LifeTake2, this path is difficult enough that we don't need a bunch of armchair quarterbacks to second guess along the way.

 

[Quik]

So glad I found this thread when I did... During our Christmas gathering while explaining to my mother why I want to abandon my current career and go into medicine. She wen't through more than a dozen alternative career suggestions, not understanding why I'd want to put myself through such an arduous marathon of school when I'm already set with a suitable (to most) education and career. I showed her the non-trad success story thread to cite similar cases of people further along in their life than myself, then found this one... It was the perfect gateway to gather a little understanding. Mom is now on board.

Dad: sure bud, that will be a great career, you've been frustrated for a long time now, and you're smart enough...

One of my sister's is a PA, who've I've been going to a lot for pre-med advice, so she's definitely supportive, though she insists I consider PA as an option. She doesn't understand the desire to suffer through an extra two years of school, plus an underpaid residency to do (according to her) essentially the same thing.

The other sis is a Clinical Social worker who's worked in hospitals for the past decade and I sensed she doubted that I have a true understanding of the rigorous journey required to become a surgeon. Once I fielded that, she was pretty supportive and also understood my desire to work with patients.

Friends, eh, keeping that a secret from most, for a while at least.

 

[AnonymousInLA]

WOW! I loved reading everyone's stories - good and bad - because for SO many years, I thought I was alone in this awkward career-changing stage.

At 19, as a fine arts major, I declared to my parents at dinnertime one day that I would become a neurosurgeon. I think they looked at me like a 5 year-old who states that she's going to be the next Mary-Lou Retton. (Whatever!)

At 26, while working as a Certified Athletic Trainer, I found myself hiding out in the OR for fun, reading MRIs for fun, staying late at work to read medical textbooks for fun...then deciding that if I won the Lotto and never had to work another day for the rest of my life...I'd go to Med School...for fun.

When I told my family, my Mom replied, "Oh honey, your cousin works with lots of doctors who hate their jobs. You should talk to her." From others..."Don't you want to get married? Your family will hate you." Or..."My college counselor says that lots of adults stay in school because they can't face the real world."

Some number of irritated boyfriends later, and after my family changed their tune, I've got a US allopathic medical school acceptance in hand, am paid well to coach kids through the MCAT prep process, and can't wait for this next chapter of my life to begin.

I've never been happier.

 

[wholeheartedly]

Anon, I can relate about the lottery thing. A friend of mine and I were discussing what we'd do if we won the lottery and I said that I would travel the globe for a year, pay off my student loans, build an animal rescue shelter, and some other charities, then go to medical school. She looked at me like I was nuts that I'd still want to do this when I could do anything I wanted. I probably am..... lol, but that's where my passion lies.

 

[AnonymousInLA]

Anon, I can relate about the lottery thing. A friend of mine and I were discussing what we'd do if we won the lottery and I said that I would travel the globe for a year, pay off my student loans, build an animal rescue shelter, and some other charities, then go to medical school. She looked at me like I was nuts that I'd still want to do this when I could do anything I wanted. I probably am..... lol, but that's where my passion lies.

Awesome! I love knowing that I'm not the only "crazy" one out there!