So been dating someone who just started med school. I understand how hard it is. She has been really stressed out and I am trying to find out from her point of view how to make things work better. So seems to me like talking alot during the week is hard would everyone agree? She gets so tired and stuff and it just seems like she never has the energy to talk or even when I do get to see her she seems to have other things on her mind or just doesnt have much energy. I am trying to be supportive just trying to figure out some other opinions on whats been helpful for others that have been doing it thanks!. It is a little bit of a long distance but it isnt that far of a distance. I also thought about sending her a care box any ideas what to put in it??
Relationship in med school tips
- Thread starter phenom832
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care boxes are ALWAYS a good idea. Or even just cards/notes scribbled on a random piece of paper. Everyone loves getting mail! My husband was traveling for work while I was in grad school so it was sorta like a LDR. I didn't have the crazy terrible shifts of med school so chatting on the phone was probably a bit easier for us, but we still didn't do it much (different time zones) and I did have regular 80 hour weeks that left me with little energy for much else most weeks. What I appreciated was random texts or throughout the day of just random things, like an interesting thing he found on his run, or a photo of a funny headline or story from one of his clients or something - to help me stay connected to the little things going on in his day to day life - but ALSO paired the knowledge that there would be no offense taken if I didn't respond and he didn't expect the same in return (or at least, very rarely). Otherwise I would have perseverated and felt guilty that I was not contributing equally to maintaining the relationship (which, tbh, I wasn't, because I was so wrapped up in my own stress most of the time). And also knowing that there was an upcoming weekend together that I could look forward to gave me incentive to work extra hard throughout the week so I would be able to spend a few solid, unworried hours with him over the weekend not thinking about how I should be studying/writing instead. I also really appreciated that he took over all the event planning - like when we traveled to see family, take the occasional vacation weekend, etc. it was such a relief to me that I could just show up and have a good time and know he did everything else like picking out the top restaurants and fun things to do, and all the travel arrangements. At that point in life having another thing to plan and organize was so aversive to me. Maybe some of those things would be appreciated by your girlfriend too.
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