relationship status entering med school?

  • Single, not looking

    Votes: 77 14.6%
  • Single, actively looking

    Votes: 142 26.8%
  • Dating, open for new relationship

    Votes: 37 7.0%
  • Dating and committed

    Votes: 165 31.2%
  • Engaged

    Votes: 23 4.3%
  • Married

    Votes: 73 13.8%
  • Other

    Votes: 11 2.1%

  • Total voters
    529

sdnstud

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Let's take a poll of people planning to enter medical school in fall 2005. Will you be single, taken, engaged, or married?
 

PineappleGirl

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I won't respond to the poll since I'm not entering med school in 05, but I this poll is just too funny considering your user name.

Looking for all the single chicks, huh?

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 

virilep

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eh, I figure it'll come when it comes. why worry? I got a lot of other stuff to worry about starting in august.
 

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im dating a great guy now, but i have to let him after a graduate.....he already has a job lined up and is pursuing his life........... :( but im just enjoying the time i have now with him......


i am a bit worried about meeting someone while in med school....we're going to be so busy and it seems that med school wholly encompases one's life....
 

cammy1313

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My priority is med school but I would welcome a relationship. Although, I am pretty dead set against dating doctors, present and/or future, so looks like I'm destined for spinsterhood ;)
 
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sdnstud

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;)


PineappleGirl said:
I won't respond to the poll since I'm not entering med school in 05, but I this poll is just too funny considering your user name.

Looking for all the single chicks, huh?

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 

BlueMagpie

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cammy1313 said:
My priority is med school but I would welcome a relationship. Although, I am pretty dead set against dating doctors, present and/or future, so looks like I'm destined for spinsterhood ;)

Word. :cool: :D
 

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cammy1313 said:
My priority is med school but I would welcome a relationship. Although, I am pretty dead set against dating doctors, present and/or future, so looks like I'm destined for spinsterhood ;)
i've noticed that the fact that i will be leaving has been a huge deterant to dating. no one wants to get attached to someone who has to leave.

when i told my mother i was applying mstp, she said something like "Well you better be sure that you find a husband before you get your MD because no one will want you after that."

ummm, thanks mom. although i have to admit that it sets up quite the intimidation factor. i said something about determining my summer race schedule after finding out where i'm going to med school and the guy i was interested in said something about "well for us normal people..."

thats okay. what works out will work out :)
 
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sdnstud

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I think one of the biggest joy in life is to spend a lifetime with someone you truly love. True, medicine is very important for many of us. But, when you're 35 years old and an extremely sucessful doctor, will you truly be happy if you don't have that special someone to come home to? Someone whose presence melts away all your stress and problems?

entering medicine is a committment, not only in terms of time and effort but also in terms of your love life. Most would agree that the prime of your love life is when you're 21-30. Well, while many other 21-30 year olds are livign it up romatically, us future doctors are enjoying our time in the library/hospital.
 

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sdnstud said:
I think one of the biggest joy in life is to spend a lifetime with someone you truly love. True, medicine is very important for many of us. But, when you're 35 years old and an extremely sucessful doctor, will you truly be happy if you don't have that special someone to come home to? Someone whose presence melts away all your stress and problems?

Well put. But my question is this: What could the "other" category in the poll refer to? :laugh:
 

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I think we should add the "Single, because the prospect of going to med school ruined my relationship" option on this poll. Can you tell I'm bitter? :(
 

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sdnstud said:
I think one of the biggest joy in life is to spend a lifetime with someone you truly love. True, medicine is very important for many of us. But, when you're 35 years old and an extremely sucessful doctor, will you truly be happy if you don't have that special someone to come home to? Someone whose presence melts away all your stress and problems?

entering medicine is a committment, not only in terms of time and effort but also in terms of your love life. Most would agree that the prime of your love life is when you're 21-30. Well, while many other 21-30 year olds are livign it up romatically, us future doctors are enjoying our time in the library/hospital.
I'm married and things are going great. I love medicine, and I love my wife. Who ever said that you can't do both (no pun intended) at the same time. I study like a machine, but I always try to set aside a little bit of time everyday to spend with my wife. It's just a matter of priorities. If I weren't in med school, I would probably be at some crappy job working nearly as hard as I do now, but be unhappy doing it. You budget time. You have to eat every evening....so do it with the person that you love. It's all about time management. I refuse to put my life on hold for the next however many years that this ride will take. You only get to live once and then you're dead. I can't imagine throwing a decade away not doing what you want to do. Believe it or not, romance can happen anywhere, even in med school. :love: All that you have to do is find someone with some understanding of your crazy schedule and meet them halfway with your committment to the relationship. It's always going to be complicated, med school or not, I'm not saying that you should run out and get married, but you'll be incredibly unhappy if you don't find a balance. Nobody will come to your funeral and say, "that guy studied like a mule, the world will suffer without him." Medicine itself and the doctor that you will become is dependent upon little more than relationships-loved ones, colleages, and patients. The premed world will scare the crap out of you about how you can't do anything about these things, don't listen to it.
 

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January Friend said:
I think we should add the "Single, because the prospect of going to med school ruined my relationship" option on this poll. Can you tell I'm bitter? :(

I second this motion. But I'm not bitter. It's more the... I know I'm leaving and I can't take you with me situation.
 

cammy1313

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I think one of the biggest joy in life is to spend a lifetime with someone you truly love. True, medicine is very important for many of us. But, when you're 35 years old and an extremely sucessful doctor, will you truly be happy if you don't have that special someone to come home to? Someone whose presence melts away all your stress and problems?
I agree....to an extent. I absolutely want to meet a man, fall hopelessly in love and live happily ever after. But at the same time this doesn't have to happen for me to be happy and feel my life has been complete. I WANT it, not NEED it. Course, this is because I'm still young. We'll see if I'm singin' the same tune after 30.

entering medicine is a committment, not only in terms of time and effort but also in terms of your love life. Most would agree that the prime of your love life is when you're 21-30. Well, while many other 21-30 year olds are livign it up romatically, us future doctors are enjoying our time in the library/hospital.
As a matter of fact, there are two prime pairing-off periods in life: one between the ages of 18 and 25, the other between 35 and 40 (or there abouts). The 18-25 year old category has an over 30% divorce rate whereas the 35-40 has almost none. Just a little something my father shared with me to help ease the lonliness. Not sure if I'm more upset that my dad thought I was lonely and needed this consolation, or the fact that I'm officially in between those two age groups in some sort of dating pergatory?
 

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ad_sharp is solid. ditto for me (ala pre-med). my wife rocks.

bds

ad_sharp said:
I'm married and things are going great. I love medicine, and I love my wife. Who ever said that you can't do both (no pun intended) at the same time. I study like a machine, but I always try to set aside a little bit of time everyday to spend with my wife. It's just a matter of priorities. If I weren't in med school, I would probably be at some crappy job working nearly as hard as I do now, but be unhappy doing it. You budget time. You have to eat every evening....so do it with the person that you love. It's all about time management. I refuse to put my life on hold for the next however many years that this ride will take. You only get to live once and then you're dead. I can't imagine throwing a decade away not doing what you want to do. Believe it or not, romance can happen anywhere, even in med school. :love: All that you have to do is find someone with some understanding of your crazy schedule and meet them halfway with your committment to the relationship. It's always going to be complicated, med school or not, I'm not saying that you should run out and get married, but you'll be incredibly unhappy if you don't find a balance. Nobody will come to your funeral and say, "that guy studied like a mule, the world will suffer without him." Medicine itself and the doctor that you will become is dependent upon little more than relationships-loved ones, colleages, and patients. The premed world will scare the crap out of you about how you can't do anything about these things, don't listen to it.
 
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sdnstud

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ad_sharp said:
I'm married and things are going great. I love medicine, and I love my wife. Who ever said that you can't do both (no pun intended) at the same time.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 

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Being married is awesome. There's a security to it that really makes my life so much better. I spend a lot of time with my husband, and we both study hard also. I think it will be harder when we have kids, but even so...I don't have to think every day when I'm out and about, "hey look at that guy, he's cute! I wonder if he'd like me?" I don't have the insecurity that dating brings with it. I think I'm so lucky to have a wonderful husband to come home to. My husband is already in med school, and he's completely avoided the whole weird social scene that goes with it (which I remember somebody in the allo boards saying was akin to regressing to middle-school level). It's great to be able to socialize without the added tension.

Hey, obviously I'm biased :p. But I think being married will actually help me in med school. And having kids while in school/residency will be tough, but totally worth it. Lots of people say that being forced to organize your time because of kids actually helped them in the long run.
 

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cammy1313 said:
spinsterhood ;)
Spinster is such a cool word...is there a guy equivalent of spinster? Like Spinner? Will I be a spinner?
 

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Blue Scrub said:
Spinster is such a cool word...is there a guy equivalent of spinster? Like Spinner? Will I be a spinner?

hmmmm.....

If Spinst + her = spinster......

how about Spinstim??
 

Blue Scrub

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MedicineBird said:
hmmmm.....

If Spinst + her = spinster......

how about Spinstim??
:laugh: I guess that works! Not quite as cool though, but technically it works
 

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Rugger81 said:
Well put. But my question is this: What could the "other" category in the poll refer to? :laugh:
i picked 'other' because i'm trying to decide whether to deepen the relationship (i.e. he moves with me, we work towards marriage) or to break up with my long-term boyfriend. neither of us want to do the long-distance thing. i'm not sure whether i will soon be more committed or soon be single.

this is a hard time for both of us as we try to sort through commitment-phobia on both sides and long-term goals and figure out what we really want out of the relationship.
 

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I think we're missing "Married, open for new relationship" in the poll.

I kid, I kid! ;)
 

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January Friend said:
I think we should add the "Single, because the prospect of going to med school ruined my relationship" option on this poll. Can you tell I'm bitter? :(
Yikes. I was close, am still close to that. Sigh. Sticking to 4+ years of long distance, or letting things take their course and not put much effort into salvaging my relationship.
 

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cammy1313 said:
My priority is med school but I would welcome a relationship. Although, I am pretty dead set against dating doctors, present and/or future, so looks like I'm destined for spinsterhood ;)
why?
 

NubianPrincess

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ad_sharp said:
I'm married and things are going great. I love medicine, and I love my wife. Who ever said that you can't do both (no pun intended) at the same time. I study like a machine, but I always try to set aside a little bit of time everyday to spend with my wife. It's just a matter of priorities. If I weren't in med school, I would probably be at some crappy job working nearly as hard as I do now, but be unhappy doing it. You budget time. You have to eat every evening....so do it with the person that you love. It's all about time management. I refuse to put my life on hold for the next however many years that this ride will take. You only get to live once and then you're dead. I can't imagine throwing a decade away not doing what you want to do. Believe it or not, romance can happen anywhere, even in med school. :love: All that you have to do is find someone with some understanding of your crazy schedule and meet them halfway with your committment to the relationship. It's always going to be complicated, med school or not, I'm not saying that you should run out and get married, but you'll be incredibly unhappy if you don't find a balance. Nobody will come to your funeral and say, "that guy studied like a mule, the world will suffer without him." Medicine itself and the doctor that you will become is dependent upon little more than relationships-loved ones, colleages, and patients. The premed world will scare the crap out of you about how you can't do anything about these things, don't listen to it.

i'll be PMing you very soon ;)
 

medstyle

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no way only 30% of people are "looking". The "dating and committed" category is clearly the weakest link. Promise rings and phone calls aren't going to help when sdnstud decides that the best way to approach the stress of being an MSI is doggystyle.

Make no mistake; nearly everyone who isn't married is looking, whether or not they know it. That includes you too, "single and not looking". HA.
 

PreMedAdAG

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Oh god,
Story of my life... well I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years to embark on a "new beginning". I was just NOT that into him ;)

Anyway, I'm dating, but I don't think that will last when i start school again, so anyone looking, I"m willing to give you 5 minutes a week with my MSI schedule... ha ha..
 

Karina

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As of now I am in a committed relationship with my boyfriend. And as of Dec. 30th, 2004, that relationship has been long distance...Things are tough...but we seem to care so much about each other that we just have to try. I just think it's hard to find someone worth the shot nowadays...so we don't feel like risking anything. Yet again, med school and pharmacy school (for him) are a few months down the road...and based on past experiences with ldr...I am not taking anything for granted...it just plain sucks, but you have to taken in the good with the bad and have faith. Whatever happens, happens for a reason...

Karina
 

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If any of you are wondering: can it be done? It can. I am a fourth year about to match on March 17th. When I started med school, my boyfriend of 3 years weren't sure if we could pull off the long-distance thing. Well, when he joined the Marine Corps I didn't think that we would stand a chance. Well, he's been overseas now for a year, and we've been long-distance for four years. We were married last summer! The great thing about a long-distance relationship in med school: you never feel guilty about the long hours studying or the hours spent at the hospital during third and fourth year. And when you see each other on vacation: MAD SEX! The crazy thing is, we're thinking about keeping the long-distance thing going for the first year or so of residency, depends on the gods of the match! Good luck to us and the rest of you in long-distance relationships!
 

medstyle

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Is it just me or does it seem like finding good people to settle with are everywhere? Seriously, I am dating a girl now, but I mean, I meet her friends and they are hot and cool. I go out and I meet chicks and the same thing.

I would stay with someone if there were no options out there, but I mean, there are so many sexy and interesting people out there...why toture yourself? I am for long distance relationsihps when the time apart is relatively small and there is a foreseeable future, but I dunno about taking on 4 years of seperation for a maybe. Or hell, even a sure thing.

Most med schools are in places where u will meet plenty of other graduate students. Why limit urself? I don't work out so my gf 300 miles away can say "my boyfriend's hot".
 

DianaLynne

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I'm in a committed relationship with my partner of four years. She's going to move with me, but we have to agree on where we go. It depends on where I get accepted and whether or not there's some optics research opportunity. It's gonna be interesting...
 

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cadoc said:
If any of you are wondering: can it be done? It can. I am a fourth year about to match on March 17th. When I started med school, my boyfriend of 3 years weren't sure if we could pull off the long-distance thing. Well, when he joined the Marine Corps I didn't think that we would stand a chance. Well, he's been overseas now for a year, and we've been long-distance for four years. We were married last summer! The great thing about a long-distance relationship in med school: you never feel guilty about the long hours studying or the hours spent at the hospital during third and fourth year. And when you see each other on vacation: MAD SEX! The crazy thing is, we're thinking about keeping the long-distance thing going for the first year or so of residency, depends on the gods of the match! Good luck to us and the rest of you in long-distance relationships!
Thank you for that :)
 

Karina

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medstyle said:
Is it just me or does it seem like finding good people to settle with are everywhere? Seriously, I am dating a girl now, but I mean, I meet her friends and they are hot and cool. I go out and I meet chicks and the same thing.

I would stay with someone if there were no options out there, but I mean, there are so many sexy and interesting people out there...why toture yourself? I am for long distance relationsihps when the time apart is relatively small and there is a foreseeable future, but I dunno about taking on 4 years of seperation for a maybe. Or hell, even a sure thing.

Most med schools are in places where u will meet plenty of other graduate students. Why limit urself? I don't work out so my gf 300 miles away can say "my boyfriend's hot".
I am extremely picky...it takes a man...a real man to have me even considering having a relationship...I'm not one to waste my time with superficial stuff...every relationship I've been in has been long term...it just the way I am...
Karina
 

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January Friend said:
I think we should add the "Single, because the prospect of going to med school ruined my relationship" option on this poll. Can you tell I'm bitter? :(
Hey! Join the club, it is ruining mine right now.
 

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Having seen the way young 20-something gals straight out of college and just entering the workforce swarm to new docs, I'm beginning to wonder whether forcing a less than perfect relationship is worth it.

I mean, you emerge from the end of the tunnel, and you're a commodity.

It's kind of a less than healthy attitude, but hey, I've seen several family friends just have the pick of the litter after they finished up school.
 

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UT_mikie said:
Hey! Join the club, it is ruining mine right now.

im in the same position........got a great boyfriend, but will be parting ways at the end of may :( :(

it really sucks cause like Karina, i cant just date anyone and it took me like 21 years to find him.....now im going to be ripped out of his arms....so sad. and mad! :mad: :mad: why can't i have it all in life? lol, we have a joke that if he's not married by the time i finish med school, or when he's 27, he has to come knocking on my door or vice versa.........he may think its half joke, but im kinda hoping we will meet again later in life....... :oops: we havent been going out for too long so the LD might be too much for us but it feels so right. goddamn it
 

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redbeans said:
I second this motion. But I'm not bitter. It's more the... I know I'm leaving and I can't take you with me situation.

I'm forcing mine to come, hahah. But luckily he wanted to come anyway
 

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sdnstud said:
Most would agree that the prime of your love life is when you're 21-30.
Ever heard of Hugh Heffner? :D Anway, just not true, if you find a good woman. Otherwise the latter 45 years of your marraige is going to be really lame... Hope that doesn't happen to you.

I found my wife just when neither of us were looking. Being satisfied with your life is pretty darn attractive.
 

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lulubean said:
Originally Posted by cammy1313
My priority is med school but I would welcome a relationship. Although, I am pretty dead set against dating doctors, present and/or future, so looks like I'm destined for spinsterhood

why?
Because to me it would be like dipping your pen in the company ink. Having been part of the workforce for a number of years I've developed that cliche attitude of not getting your meat where you get your bread. But besides that, I don't want someone exactly like me. I want someone that brings new perspectives and new interests to the relationship. I mean, I don't want to venture too far away from the profession. Someone in the scientific field in general would be great. But, you can't help who you fall in love so being this picky pro'ly won't hold water once school starts :)
 

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cammy1313 said:
My priority is med school but I would welcome a relationship. Although, I am pretty dead set against dating doctors, present and/or future, so looks like I'm destined for spinsterhood ;)
Sounds like Woody Allen... "I'd never join a club that would have me as a member." :D

Bummer about being a woman doc is that you are going to scare the heck out of half of the eligible male population with your smarts and your drive. Lame but true. You might want to consider those male doc's out there who can actually understand your med commitments.
 
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sdnstud

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what bothers me most is that as med students, we do not have time to meet someone new and develop a relationship. no more intense honeymoon period when the two of us see each other everyday, talk until sunrise, take romantic trips on the weekends. People tell me that med students get lots of girls. I do not think so. Most girls would date someone who has time for them, esp. at the beginning of the relationship.
 

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sdnstud said:
what bothers me most is that as med students, we do not have time to meet someone new and develop a relationship. no more intense honeymoon period when the two of us see each other everyday, talk until sunrise, take romantic trips on the weekends. People tell me that med students get lots of girls. I do not think so. Most girls would date someone who has time for them, esp. at the beginning of the relationship.
Thats what scares me the most about dating after I enter med school, given that I'm dead set against dating any other meds, that leaves me with the arduous task of trying to explain to some other nonmed girl why I won't be able to spend as much time with her as I'd like.

Alot of people on this thread say that (for guys meds at least) its easy to find a date. But would any nice intelligent talented successful girl (and not some gold digger) be willing to accept your time constraints?
 

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UT_mikie said:
Thats what scares me the most about dating after I enter med school, given that I'm dead set against dating any other meds, that leaves me with the arduous task of trying to explain to some other nonmed girl why I won't be able to spend as much time with her as I'd like.

Alot of people on this thread say that (for guys meds at least) its easy to find a date. But would any nice intelligent talented successful girl (and not some gold digger) be willing to accept your time constraints?
I have a friend who's a resident here in Boston (in a very competitive specialty). He says it is sooooo easy to find a girl to "date" (for lack of a better euphemism). As soon as he mentions he's a doc and the name of the prestigious hospital he's at, he has chicks lining up for him. However, these girls are usually just looking for free meals and nice gifts, your classic gold digger types. I feel bad for him because one girl he really likes (super smart, MPH student) won't date him because she knows he won't have a lot of time to devote to the relationship and she doesn't want to be second to his career.
 

gdubb

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January Friend said:
I think we should add the "Single, because the prospect of going to med school ruined my relationship" option on this poll. Can you tell I'm bitter? :(

i feel your pain :mad:
 

juniper456

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sdnstud said:
I think one of the biggest joy in life is to spend a lifetime with someone you truly love. True, medicine is very important for many of us. But, when you're 35 years old and an extremely sucessful doctor, will you truly be happy if you don't have that special someone to come home to? Someone whose presence melts away all your stress and problems?

entering medicine is a committment, not only in terms of time and effort but also in terms of your love life. Most would agree that the prime of your love life is when you're 21-30. Well, while many other 21-30 year olds are livign it up romatically, us future doctors are enjoying our time in the library/hospital.
actually, i think that having a profession that allows one to feel productive and make a difference is one of the biggest joys in life. any kind of romantic relationship will always be second to my career. :thumbup:
 

January Friend

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juniper456 said:
actually, i think that having a profession that allows one to feel productive and make a difference is one of the biggest joys in life. any kind of romantic relationship will always be second to my career. :thumbup:
Wow, that's hardcore. Wanna go out sometime? :)
 
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sdnstud

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Sorry for bumping this old post, but I'm having some relationship issues lately. I've been with my gf for 3 years, and lately we've been fighting a lot. The more we fight, the more I don't see myself with her. I want out of this relationship.

Yet, I am hesitant to break up with her. Even though I am the one who's going to initiate the split, I need several months to recover my feelings. After all, it is a 3 year relationship I am ending. The reason I am hesitant to break up with her is because I will be starting medical school this fall.

In a way, this is de vaju for me. Before I began college, I was in a 2-year relationship that I wanted to end. I ended that relationship before I went to college, and the split devastated me my freshmen year. I was in a whole new environment with few friends, no families, and a heavy courseload (which means I didn't have much time to socialize and make new friends).

I am hesistant to break up with my gf because I don't want this to happen to me again. I will be going to a medical school where I will know nobody, far away from my family.

Is anyone in the same shoe as I am? Nearing the end of a relationship, but don't want it to end cos' you don't want drama as you enter medical school?
 

FloridaMadame

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sdnstud said:
Sorry for bumping this old post, but I'm having some relationship issues lately. I've been with my gf for 3 years, and lately we've been fighting a lot. The more we fight, the more I don't see myself with her. I want out of this relationship.

Yet, I am hesitant to break up with her. Even though I am the one who's going to initiate the split, I need several months to recover my feelings. After all, it is a 3 year relationship I am ending. The reason I am hesitant to break up with her is because I will be starting medical school this fall.

In a way, this is de vaju for me. Before I began college, I was in a 2-year relationship that I wanted to end. I ended that relationship before I went to college, and the split devastated me my freshmen year. I was in a whole new environment with few friends, no families, and a heavy courseload (which means I didn't have much time to socialize and make new friends).



I am hesistant to break up with my gf because I don't want this to happen to me again. I will be going to a medical school where I will know nobody, far away from my family.

Is anyone in the same shoe as I am? Nearing the end of a relationship, but don't want it to end cos' you don't want drama as you enter medical school?
you are probably better off if you end it now, giving you a few months to get over the angst of the breakup before med school starts. Also, I hope your girlfriend doesn't know about SDN and is reading about it here before she hears it from you. (she might recognize you from your profile)
 

Csv321

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Hey sdnstud,

Has it just been recently that you don't see yourself with your current girlfriend? I would maybe give it some time before making any quick decisions that you might regret because you never know, it could work out. I was in the same situation not too long ago and wanted out so I would have time to recover but the thought of possibly starting med school and a whole new life w/o a comfort zone was scary. Luckily, given some time, everything worked out and things are better than ever. If you are positive that there is no future with her, then end it now so you have time to pull yourself together...you shouldn't stay with her so you can use her as a crutch when you start your journey. Even though you still love her, doing such a thing is selfish and unfair and you may just be prolonging the inevitable.

Good luck and I hope things work out!