Sacrifices for a career in medicine

[deleted421268]

what are the main sacrifices and things people have to give up that are involved in the journey of becoming a physician.

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[aldol16]

I think most things you don't "have" to give up. It's just easier if you do. Things like having a family prior to or during med school.

But one thing that comes to mind is money. You probably won't be making any real money until your thirties (and that's if you go straight through) whereas your friends from college will have a solid decade of earnings by then.

 

[deleted421268]

I think most things you don't "have" to give up. It's just easier if you do. Things like having a family prior to or during med school.

But one thing that comes to mind is money. You probably won't be making any real money until your thirties (and that's if you go straight through) whereas your friends from college will have a solid decade of earnings by then.

Ya but once at attending level from there on out it will be easy to catch up to ones friends at the money level and possibly surpass them as well.

 

[aldol16]

Ya but once at attending level from there on out it will be easy to catch up to ones friends at the money level and possibly surpass them as well.

Well, that would depend on the nature of your friends' jobs. Finance/consulting/tech jobs pay very well - if they haven't washed out by then, their salary will be in the six figures as well.

 

[deleted421268]

I was thinking more in lines of giving up family time and time spent with friends. Most of our parents are getting older while we make our living and it's always nice to spent as much time with them as we can. Comparing time one has to spend with family pursuing career in medicine with med school, residency, and etc vs the amount of time one can spend with them getting job say straight out of undergrad and ideally working im hometown near parents or something. Keeping in mind location and if ones goes away from hometown for med school, residency, and etc it effects seeing loved ones.

 

[redferrari]

The toughest sacrifice for me has been postponing my desire for a family. I'm not going to lie, it hurts when I see Facebook postings for engagements and pregnancy announcements. I get really lonely sometimes, but then I realize that I'm doing something I've dreamed of since I was in first grade, and appreciate how awesome it is that I became one of those kids whose dreams came true.

 

[Pusheen]

The toughest sacrifice for me has been postponing my desire for a family. I'm not going to lie, it hurts when I see Facebook postings for engagements and pregnancy announcements. I get really lonely sometimes, but then I realize that I'm doing something I've dreamed of since I was in first grade, and appreciate how awesome it is that I became one of those kids whose dreams came true.

You can still get engaged and married though! Definitely agree on the kids thing though, I think it will only get harder as we get further into school.

 

[redferrari]

You can still get engaged and married though! Definitely agree on the kids thing though, I think it will only get harder as we get further into school.

My long time girlfriend broke up with me shortly before school started.. Haha

You have to have someone to get married to in the first place. I have a personal rule to not date other medical students, so dating is a serious challenge.

Now, for you OP. If you have a solid SO, lock them down now.

 

[angeloflogic]

What age are people going to med school? If straight out of college, they're in school from 22-26, then residency until maybe 30. If it's the median age, then it's 24-28, then residency until 31-33. Mid to late twenties are some of the best years in one's life because one's old and "mature" enough to do whatever they want, and their bodies are young enough to handle the stresses. Med school usually means giving up some of the best years physically you have. You want to drink and party a lot at 25? Sure! Try that at 45 and you'll be the one seeing a doctor. You want to travel the world? It's a lot easier in the body of a 25 year old. You can have a spouse any time. Father time always wins, and you'll never ever have your youth again. That's just my two cents.

 

[oOKawaiiOo]

My long time girlfriend broke up with me shortly before school started.. Haha

You have to have someone to get married to in the first place. I have a personal rule to not date other medical students, so dating is a serious challenge.

Now, for you OP. If you have a solid SO, lock them down now.

+1, dont date within your class.

I might add; dont lock anyone down unless you truly love them and cant see yourself with anyone else. If you're good looking and have a sense of humor, you have a ton of options out there. No rush into marriage just because everyone else is doing it. Psssh. Find yourself a beauty queen who is willing to build a kingdom with you - who supports you through the thin & thick.

 

[Poit]

Med school generally makes you feel like you're delayed with "getting on with life". I'm talking the house, wife, kids, vacations, retirement plans ect. I don't really feel like I'm missing out on it at this point though. There's plenty of time for all of that.

 

[deleted421268]

So what when you guys think best time to get msrrued, have wedding, have kids , and etc is for those who matriculate to med schools and follow road inn becoming physician?

 

[Mad Jack]

Given that the median age for marriage and children ticks ever higher each year, I don't think medical students have to be all that "behind" in the life goals department.

 

[mcatjelly]

Then again, you could easily cram in enough drinking and partying before matriculation that you don't really have an interest in it anymore come time for medical school. Speaking for myself, I really don't have the desire to "party" anymore, got it out of my system from probably too young of an age.

Same- got it out of my system between college and my two gap years. But it's not like partying stops in medical school. People go insane after exams haha.

Also, plenty of married couples or married couples-to-be at my school. And a few parents as well.

 

[Dr.Sticks]

I don't think I am giving up anything
I mean other than time to read cool books and cycle and hike and stuff.. But yeah
I mean I am going to work either way through my 20s.. So yeah

 

[Danny L]

Well, that would depend on the nature of your friends' jobs. Finance/consulting/tech jobs pay very well - if they haven't washed out by then, their salary will be in the six figures as well.

Attrition is pretty high in those fields though (well at least finance, not sure about the other ones). They kind of have an up or out mentality. Also if you go finance, you usually have to go to business school eventually so it's not like you have less post under grad school time. Although, you do have a few years of 100-200k salary at that point so you probably won't need a loan/your parents' money

+1, dont date within your class.

Any particular reason why?

 

[jqueb29]

Just sacrificing free time and delaying a minor amount of money for much more money later. Got a wife, a cat, a house, and will have a kid the same time as I would have without med school. Med school is hard work and a big time commitment, but don't let people convince you it will ruin your life or anything like that. You'll lose a large chunk of free time for several years, but it's not hard to match into a lifestyle field that will make it all worth it and then some.

 

[point542]

Honestly, if I wasn't doing medicine I would be doing something demanding and time consuming career-wise (finance, some STEM job, etc). Future careerists like me have already made the decision to be hard working professionals so I guess the trade off isn't huge in my mind. If I wasn't giving up my 20s to medical school, it would have been spent trying to build a fruitful career, instead of doing some bohemian song and dance for the rest of my life.

That said, I certainly don't feel like I'm hugely missing out on life. I'll be starting at the ripe old age of 25 and have had most of the youthful stupid mistakes and party checkboxes under my belt. I'm ready to buckle down and kick ass which is definitely a pro of having a few postgrad years before school.

 

[787593]

The toughest sacrifice for me has been postponing my desire for a family. I'm not going to lie, it hurts when I see Facebook postings for engagements and pregnancy announcements. I get really lonely sometimes, but then I realize that I'm doing something I've dreamed of since I was in first grade, and appreciate how awesome it is that I became one of those kids whose dreams came true.

You just need to find your Sloane Peterson, Ferris.

 

[787593]

Then again, you could easily cram in enough drinking and partying before matriculation that you don't really have an interest in it anymore come time for medical school. Speaking for myself, I really don't have the desire to "party" anymore, got it out of my system from probably too young of an age. I'd also argue that the majority of people that "party" through their late 20s are not usually the most happy and driven bunch.

Also, your income as a physician will allow you to very comfortably vacation in a much larger portion of the world than I'd expect >95% of other professions. Yes, it's later in life, but you can afford comfortable accommodations instead of having to travel like a peasant.

Hehehe

Someone understands

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

I'll be going to med school with a family and my crazy years behind me, so other than time to read/work out/hike/etc, I don't feel like I'll be sacrificing much while in school. I've learned how to be present with my family while I am at home.

 

[aldol16]

Attrition is pretty high in those fields though (well at least finance, not sure about the other ones). They kind of have an up or out mentality. Also if you go finance, you usually have to go to business school eventually so it's not like you have less post under grad school time. Although, you do have a few years of 100-200k salary at that point so you probably won't need a loan/your parents' money

And the firm will usually pay for you to go to business school - at least in part and depending on the firm. Attrition in finance is mainly, in my opinion and experience, due to the quality of the people going in. You shouldn't expect job security if all you do all day is plug numbers into an algorithm someone else has already designed. If you're really good at what you do (using models as tools for prediction and not taking them as the end-all-be-all), then job security isn't that much of an issue because your skills will be in high demand. Attrition in consulting is lower but still existent and a lot of friends have left consulting not because the work was difficult but rather because it was mind-numbingly boring (to be a generalist). Attrition in tech jobs is low.

 

[KoalaT]

Then again, you could easily cram in enough drinking and partying before matriculation that you don't really have an interest in it anymore come time for medical school. Speaking for myself, I really don't have the desire to "party" anymore, got it out of my system from probably too young of an age. I'd also argue that the majority of people that "party" through their late 20s are not usually the most happy and driven bunch.

Also, your income as a physician will allow you to very comfortably vacation in a much larger portion of the world than I'd expect >95% of other professions. Yes, it's later in life, but you can afford comfortable accommodations instead of having to travel like a peasant.

+1.
Seriously, I did a bit too much of this in high school and undergrad (a wonderful on-campus intoxication and a few underage alcohol charges, which I blame for my failure to be accepted sooner than 2 gap years), and I have no desire to continue that sort of lifestyle up into my 30s. By end of senior year, I would much rather just have a beer at a bar with a few friends than go to anymore house parties or the downtown bar streets.

And seriously, you can still travel at an old age. My father is a successful physician, and he literally travels like 2x a month. Africa hunting trips, Greece, Spain, Italy, Cabo, European cruise, Argentinian dove hunts, etc. He is upper 50s and has no problem doing all this. In fact, I'd say his more luxurious travel is far more fun than being broke and backpacking through Europe once in your mid 20s.

Moral of the story, you're not really giving up that much of your youth.

Family and kids... that's another story. Ya this kind of sucks - especially for women who enter medical school later due to child bearing age, etc. I won't pretend to know what to think of that whole situation. However, I've talked to many students who got married and even are having kids right before residency. Sounds crazy to me, but all their peers say they're some of the more well-balanced and dedicated students of all.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

+1.
Seriously, I did a bit too much of this in high school and undergrad (a wonderful on-campus intoxication and a few underage alcohol charges, which I blame for my failure to be accepted sooner than 2 gap years), and I have no desire to continue that sort of lifestyle up into my 30s. By end of senior year, I would much rather just have a beer at a bar with a few friends than go to anymore house parties or the downtown bar streets.

And seriously, you can still travel at an old age. My father is a successful physician, and he literally travels like 2x a month. Africa hunting trips, Greece, Spain, Italy, Cabo, European cruise, Argentinian dove hunts, etc. He is upper 50s and has no problem doing all this. In fact, I'd say his more luxurious travel is far more fun than being broke and backpacking through Europe once in your mid 20s.

Moral of the story, you're not really giving up that much of your youth.

Family and kids... that's another story. Ya this kind of sucks - especially for women who enter medical school later due to child bearing age, etc. I won't pretend to know what to think of that whole situation. However, I've talked to many students who got married and even are having kids right before residency. Sounds crazy to me, but all their peers say they're some of the more well-balanced and dedicated students of all.

As hard as it is having kids (and anyone who says it isn't either doesn't have kids or is lying), it definitely grounds you and keeps you balanced. It's much easier to be dedicated at work when you have a family to take care of, because you don't think about work at home. You think about your family.

 

[Doctor-S]

what are the main sacrifices and things people have to give up that are involved in the journey of becoming a physician.

This is a good question.

At the time, I didn't think I was giving-up anything because I was focused on making my "professional dreams" come true. However, when I take the time to look back and reflect, I realize that I gave-up certain things, but not everything.

One of the things I gave-up was starting a family at a young age. However, my boyfriend at that time was a newly-graduated attorney - so he wasn't ready to start a family anyway.

The other thing I gave-up was "extra quality time" with my family and friends. Due to school, tests, studying, clerkships, etc., I was often unable to join my family for some landmark events (e.g., when my grandmother celebrated her 80th birthday). I even missed a family wedding. Additionally, I was not in a position to put a down payment on a "starter home" bc I didn't have extra money. I also didn't go on vacations and I didn't spend money on fancy/expensive meals. The good news is that I loved to cook (and still love to cook)- so I made delicious meals for myself at home, and packed the leftovers for lunch the next day.

Fortunately, for me, most of my close friends had also been accepted to MD, JD, DVM, PhD programs. So, my friends and I didn't get to see each other very often anyway. Everyone was really busy with school, studying, exams, etc. So, I wasn't alone. Many of my other friends were doing the same thing as me.

Would I do it all over again?

Yes, absolutely yes!

 

[trev5150]

dont date within your class

This is true everywhere. Unless you want to make it weird (and it will ALWAYS get weird), this is never a good idea. Unless you're all about people you don't know suddenly being very aware of your personal life. This applies to school, workplace, anywhere where the possibility of dating people that either already know each other (or may come to know each other) exists.

Save the drama for prime time TV.
The proverb is "Don't $h!t where you eat".

 

[786783]

+1.
Seriously, I did a bit too much of this in high school and undergrad (a wonderful on-campus intoxication and a few underage alcohol charges, which I blame for my failure to be accepted sooner than 2 gap years), and I have no desire to continue that sort of lifestyle up into my 30s. By end of senior year, I would much rather just have a beer at a bar with a few friends than go to anymore house parties or the downtown bar streets.

And seriously, you can still travel at an old age. My father is a successful physician, and he literally travels like 2x a month. Africa hunting trips, Greece, Spain, Italy, Cabo, European cruise, Argentinian dove hunts, etc. He is upper 50s and has no problem doing all this. In fact, I'd say his more luxurious travel is far more fun than being broke and backpacking through Europe once in your mid 20s.

Moral of the story, you're not really giving up that much of your youth.

Family and kids... that's another story. Ya this kind of sucks - especially for women who enter medical school later due to child bearing age, etc. I won't pretend to know what to think of that whole situation. However, I've talked to many students who got married and even are having kids right before residency. Sounds crazy to me, but all their peers say they're some of the more well-balanced and dedicated students of all.

Specialty?

Travels twice a month internationally??

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Specialty?

Travels twice a month internationally??

I think it probably has less to do with specialty and more to do with the fact that he's almost 60 and has probably been in practice for almost 30 years.

 

[KoalaT]

I think it probably has less to do with specialty and more to do with the fact that he's almost 60 and has probably been in practice for almost 30 years.

This is correct. He established a private practice that he has owned for about 20+ years, so he now takes on fewer patients while the younger docs in the practice take on more.

Twice a month might be an exaggeration. More like a good handful of major trips a year with a lot of smaller weekend hunting and plenty of golf sprinkled in.

He is nearing retirement

 

[surfguy84]

The toughest sacrifice for me has been postponing my desire for a family. I'm not going to lie, it hurts when I see Facebook postings for engagements and pregnancy announcements. I get really lonely sometimes, but then I realize that I'm doing something I've dreamed of since I was in first grade, and appreciate how awesome it is that I became one of those kids whose dreams came true.

two words: trophy. wife.

 

[surfguy84]

What age are people going to med school? If straight out of college, they're in school from 22-26, then residency until maybe 30. If it's the median age, then it's 24-28, then residency until 31-33. Mid to late twenties are some of the best years in one's life because one's old and "mature" enough to do whatever they want, and their bodies are young enough to handle the stresses. Med school usually means giving up some of the best years physically you have. You want to drink and party a lot at 25? Sure! Try that at 45 and you'll be the one seeing a doctor. You want to travel the world? It's a lot easier in the body of a 25 year old. You can have a spouse any time. Father time always wins, and you'll never ever have your youth again. That's just my two cents.

I started med school at 30...feel it was the perfect time. completely enjoyed my 20s, traveled a bunch, did fun stuff, recently got married..now I'm in school...and only 5 or so years behind the mean age at my school..which over the course of the next 40-50 years will be a drop in the bucket. Im a big proponent of holding off, at least a few years, before diving in to med school.

 

[redferrari]

two words: trophy. wife.

Umm, no. Any woman of mine will be as independent-minded as I am, and will have her own goals and ambitions in life. I won't care about spoiling her a little, but she better be able to function as her own individual. I'm not out for some shallow chick who only wants to bag a doctor.

 

[KoalaT]

This is true everywhere. Unless you want to make it weird (and it will ALWAYS get weird), this is never a good idea. Unless you're all about people you don't know suddenly being very aware of your personal life. This applies to school, workplace, anywhere where the possibility of dating people that either already know each other (or may come to know each other) exists.

Save the drama for prime time TV.
The proverb is "Don't $h!t where you eat".

What if you're not weird and your personal life isn't weird? Then why would it be weird? Ha I'm just kidding. I totally get it.

However, I have had relationships within my workplaces and schools my whole life without this being a problem. Maybe once or twice it was weird if things go like really wrong. Like I always say, "It's only weird if you make it weird".

But seriously, I'm going to try to abide by this rule, but let's be honest. I'm not just going to ignore women for 4 years, and Idk how much I'll be able to socialize with those outside the school, so we'll see how it goes.

 

[gabem480]

I had a child young before my twenties and I am married. By the time I am ready to apply my son will be a teen. I have served in the military and lived out my twenties. The con to this is that I will graduate med school and wont be able to practice probably until my late 30's I am guessing around 39. In all honesty if I had to do it again I would have done it the exact same way. You have to sacrifice in order to attain your dreams. I believe because my decision to go the non traditional route my sacrifices wont be as great as before but I still believe there will be many sacrifices.

 

[PB&Jam]

Umm, no. Any woman of mine will be as independent-minded as I am, and will have her own goals and ambitions in life. I won't care about spoiling her a little, but she better be able to function as her own individual. I'm not out for some shallow chick who only wants to bag a doctor.

Props for saying this, man. We need more guys like you, who respect women and want a girlfriend/wife who will pursue her own interests, whatever they may be.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Props for saying this, man. We need more guys like you, who respect women and want a girlfriend/wife who will pursue her own interests, whatever they may be.

One of my wife's friends is Chinese. She is married to this dude who obviously wanted to marry an Asian woman so that he'd have someone to do his bidding. The guy is a douche.

 

[edawgmd]

As an only child with parents who are making barely enough to get by, pursuing medicine has inflicted a large amount of guilt onto me. Every year, my family incurs more debt and our financial situation is always in the negative. The paychecks always decrease and the cost of living always increases. I now have a job to help my parents, but a good portion goes to student loans and taxes, so we're still in the negatives.

My parents don't speak much English and gave up everything for my education and future. In high school, I thought I would pursue accounting, econ, investing, etc. If I had chosen that path, I'm pretty sure I would be making 6 figures after graduation from undergrad/masters because all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins are in finance, so they would've been able to set me up with the right contacts/networks. I was offered to work at a competitive internship by my uncle in a large investment company before I was a college freshman. Unfortunately, I'm the only science major in my huge family.

My parents always supported my goal to be a physician despite our financial struggles and the extra time. It really broke my heart to tell them that I would incur more debt for med school, work possibly 3-7 years after graduation for residency at ~60k salary. Not once have they blamed me for the extra years of hardship, but I always feel somewhere inside me that they deserve better. They've endured enough for the last 21 years to raise me. I want them to not have to worry about finances and just go enjoy their lives while I make money. Sure after residency, I should be making at least ~200k, but my parents are already up there in age with health issues and I'm not even sure if they can have a quality lifestyle by then.

My family is of the bottom middle class income. We pay for everything and do not qualify for any aid, including for med school apps. Going into this cycle as a third time reapplicant (~$3k per cycle), there isn't a day that goes by in which I don't regret getting a higher GPA or MCAT and making better decisions. I can deal with the hard work, not having as much time for friends or SO, and even rejections from med schools. I don't ever intend on giving up, but it doesn't mean it's easy.

Moral of the story: Pursuing medicine is an incredibly difficult road. Not only for you, but for everyone around you. Especially if you do not come from a background with abundant financial resources (which I imagine most of us are not). If you're a pre-med, study your a** off for that high GPA and MCAT so you can eliminate the chance factor as much as possible when applying. Sometimes I find that the emotional struggles with guilt and regret are harder to manage than the physical struggles.

 

[MoDiddy]

two words: trophy. wife.

Yessir! Lol

 

[JustAPhD]

Umm, no. Any woman of mine will be as independent-minded as I am, and will have her own goals and ambitions in life. I won't care about spoiling her a little, but she better be able to function as her own individual. I'm not out for some shallow chick who only wants to bag a doctor.

Blink twice if your GF was behind you when you wrote that post.






Just kidding! That's the best way (IMO) of thinking about your future spouse.

 

[gabem480]

Trophy wife sounds nice but better sign that prenup first lol jk beautiful strong independent women over trophy wives any day imho. In the words of fiddyy "you don't gotta look like a model for me to adore you all you gotta do is love me and be loyal"

 

[PB&Jam]

My boyfriend's parents like to joke with him about him having found "a nice doctor to marry." I like that he takes it in stride–we've had discussions about medical school and the future thereafter, and he's been nothing but supportive.

 

[bahdahboom]

The toughest sacrifice for me has been postponing my desire for a family. I'm not going to lie, it hurts when I see Facebook postings for engagements and pregnancy announcements. I get really lonely sometimes, but then I realize that I'm doing something I've dreamed of since I was in first grade, and appreciate how awesome it is that I became one of those kids whose dreams came true.

Exactly how I feel. There are days I actually cry about it. In my family, as a woman starting a family is a really big achievement. But I remind myself - how many people can actually say they're studying to become a doctor? And I wouldn't change being a med student for the world.

 

[neoevolution]

Given that the median age for marriage and children ticks ever higher each year, I don't think medical students have to be all that "behind" in the life goals department.

Median age for matriculation is rising every year, and what if you do an extra year for research and then do the typical 5 PGY years? You'll be finishing up in your mid 30s, which is definitely later than the average American

 

[Perrotfish]

nvm

 

[Mad Jack]

Median age for matriculation is rising every year, and what if you do an extra year for research and then do the typical 5 PGY years? You'll be finishing up in your mid 30s, which is definitely later than the average American

It's not rising by much. And you don't have to do all the research and 5 PGY years- those are choices. Just as matriculation later is a choice. If the time commitment bothers you, choose a shorter path, it isn't rocket science.

 

[leonardoson]

So far I have given up cultivating good friendships, and starting a family. Sometimes I feel very lonely. I just keep remembering that to receive good grades and do all the extracurricular stuff, these sacrifices are needed. I can attribute this to my major as well, where the professors have acknowledged that their classes require 3x more work than any other major.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

So far I have given up cultivating good friendships, and starting a family. Sometimes I feel very lonely. I just keep remembering that to receive good grades and do all the extracurricular stuff, these sacrifices are needed. I can attribute this to my major as well, where the professors have acknowledged that their classes require 3x more work than any other major.

You can definitely get good grades even in difficult majors and start a family/cultivate friendships. This neurotic premed attitude that all distractions from getting that 4.0 and 528 MCAT should be avoided is just that--neuroticism. I graduated with a good GPA while raising two children under two years old and working 70 hours per week, in addition to my ECs. And I am not the only one. I know people who managed to do it and have higher GPAs.

 

[leonardoson]

You can definitely get good grades even in difficult majors and start a family/cultivate friendships. This neurotic premed attitude that all distractions from getting that 4.0 and 528 MCAT should be avoided is just that--neuroticism. I graduated with a good GPA while raising two children under two years old and working 70 hours per week, in addition to my ECs. And I am not the only one. I know people who managed to do it and have higher GPAs.

Well I may not be as smart as others, and get distracted more easily than most. Through self-awareness I make up for it with work ethic. Everyone is different.

 

[booksandcigarettes]

When I applied to graduate school (currently finishing up a PhD) one of the hardest questions I was asked was 'what sacrifices have you made and are willing to make for your career.' I think that question gets straight to the core of many things because everybody sacrifices in his/her own way, in one form or another, though we don't often think about that.

As a PhD student I have really enjoyed my intellectual freedom, capacity to think creatively, proactively on problems and being able to travel. Medicine (at least medical school) is a way more structured curriculum and requires an entirely different set of thinking. And, I highly doubt I'd be able to take my 2 vacations a years I think those would be my sacrifices.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Well I may not be as smart as others, and get distracted more easily than most. Through self-awareness I make up for it with work ethic. Everyone is different.

Everyone is different, but I think unless you have a learning disability (and I'm not being snarky here), a lot of people overestimate how much time they need to put in to do well. It's not about how smart you are. It's good for your sanity to have distractions. It also happens to make you more interesting to talk to in interviews, I think.