I am entering college this year and will be taking the generic Biology Pre-Med path. My biggest worry is that the the summer after my freshman year of high school I was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia along with the fact that in 7th grade I was diagnosed with a severe case of Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia. My psychiatrist is amazed with my progress. I finished my junior year of high school with a full load + online classes with a 3.3 GPA plus was starting to socialize. My senior year I took the hardest classes I could, participated in after school activities and had a 3.75 GPA while also dealing with an unknown stomach condition that made me drop from 160 pounds (I am 5'10") to 130 pounds within two months. Yet I still kept thinking to myself "I could do better, I could do more. I want to challenge myself more, I want a 4.0 GPA, not 3.75." I also was fully reintegrated socially. I had (and still have) a successful relationship of the female variety, have several close friends, and did all the normal (legal) things a high school student does. I've became practically symptom free other than the odd depression bout here and there and the odd 2 second long hallucination a few times a month. Decreasing the dosage of meds have proven successful with no increase of symptoms. The only thing of "concern" is that I still get quite a few panic attacks but I have learned to be productive during them and not let them get in the way of what I am doing. Even when I was working sorting cherries this summer I managed to handle the stress of stomach flu, dropping from 130 pounds to 118 within a week, standing all day with 12-16 hour work days every day and risking hospitalization without an increase of symptoms (which is another story all together, sadly I had to quit the job within 2 weeks due to health concerns and the fact that I was experiencing microsleep while driving). And yes, I am gaining back the weight I lost and recovering just fine.
I realize that medical school and being a doctor is most likely incredibly more stressful than anything I have ever experienced. I also realize that I can be a pretty big risk when it comes to treating patients as there will always be concerns of whether or not I am fit to practice. I know even the fact that I have no history of violence, suicidal behavior, and have never been admitted to a psychiatric hospital/ward won't matter much. I plan to use college as a time to stress test myself to get a better idea if I could actually handle medical school.
If things come out just fine and I actually have the ability to get admitted into a medical school, I am assuming my mental health history is probably something I want to keep quiet about, even if it is one of my biggest motivators to do as much as I can with my life and for pursuing medicine.
Am I really making the right decision and could the risks (for my patients) outweigh the benefits even if I prove to be a capable doctor. There is always that risk that I might break down and do something that would hurt a patient.
I have talked to my psychiatrist about entering medical school and he just says "You seem to be completely capable, even maybe more so than many of the people I know."
I'm really unsure if what I would do with my life besides medicine. Many people in my family practice(d) medicine (whether as a doctor, a nurse, or something else) and I have always wanted to pursue it. I'm one of the few people that greatly enjoy going to the doctor and I am known to frequently take people to their appointments just so I can sit there and watch the process at work. If it wasn't for my phone being broken at the time I would have probably asked a nurse if they could record my upper endoscopy. I kept asking the nurses "What is that you are sticking in my IV? What is the purpose of that? How do you like your job? How does that work, what exactly is it doing with my body?" and was just generally curious about everything.
I guess I could sum every up by asking:
Could I be a capable doctor that dealt with (living) patients daily?
I realize that medical school and being a doctor is most likely incredibly more stressful than anything I have ever experienced. I also realize that I can be a pretty big risk when it comes to treating patients as there will always be concerns of whether or not I am fit to practice. I know even the fact that I have no history of violence, suicidal behavior, and have never been admitted to a psychiatric hospital/ward won't matter much. I plan to use college as a time to stress test myself to get a better idea if I could actually handle medical school.
If things come out just fine and I actually have the ability to get admitted into a medical school, I am assuming my mental health history is probably something I want to keep quiet about, even if it is one of my biggest motivators to do as much as I can with my life and for pursuing medicine.
Am I really making the right decision and could the risks (for my patients) outweigh the benefits even if I prove to be a capable doctor. There is always that risk that I might break down and do something that would hurt a patient.
I have talked to my psychiatrist about entering medical school and he just says "You seem to be completely capable, even maybe more so than many of the people I know."
I'm really unsure if what I would do with my life besides medicine. Many people in my family practice(d) medicine (whether as a doctor, a nurse, or something else) and I have always wanted to pursue it. I'm one of the few people that greatly enjoy going to the doctor and I am known to frequently take people to their appointments just so I can sit there and watch the process at work. If it wasn't for my phone being broken at the time I would have probably asked a nurse if they could record my upper endoscopy. I kept asking the nurses "What is that you are sticking in my IV? What is the purpose of that? How do you like your job? How does that work, what exactly is it doing with my body?" and was just generally curious about everything.
I guess I could sum every up by asking:
Could I be a capable doctor that dealt with (living) patients daily?