screwed up BIG TIME- advice please

[scrubsRcomfy]

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i've been working for a doctor for 3 years now. he said that he would write me a recommendation when i applied for grad schools, which was the main reason for working for him (that and the fact that his research is pretty darn cool and he's been pretty flexible when it came to my hours).

i screwed up big time: i've been having personal issues lately and he's been patient with my absences/tardiness for over a month now, but today he gave me a warning b/c i've been so irresponsible.

i feel really bad about everything, and i know that i lost a lot of credibility with him. i've not only let down my employer, but i considered him a very good friend and mentor. All of that is stuff i will deal with on my own, but i i need some advice from sdn'rs on what do i do about the logistics of getting a rec from him. i need to get everything in pretty soon since a lot of the deadlines are march 1. should i even bother to ask him? i have 3 other people who would write me recs, but their profs that i only knew from this past semester, whereas he's known me for years.

right now i'm thinking i won't bother him with it unless he brings it up himself and is willing to write me a rec despite my recent shortcomings. otherwise, his recent disappointment might color the recs too much. waddya think?

 

[BubbleHead]

i've been working for a doctor for 3 years now. he said that he would write me a recommendation when i applied for grad schools, which was the main reason for working for him (that and the fact that his research is pretty darn cool and he's been pretty flexible when it came to my hours).

i screwed up big time: i've been having personal issues lately and he's been patient with my absences/tardiness for over a month now, but today he gave me a warning b/c i've been so irresponsible.

i feel really bad about everything, and i know that i lost a lot of credibility with him. i've not only let down my employer, but i considered him a very good friend and mentor. All of that is stuff i will deal with on my own, but i i need some advice from sdn'rs on what do i do about the logistics of getting a rec from him. i need to get everything in pretty soon since a lot of the deadlines are march 1. should i even bother to ask him? i have 3 other people who would write me recs, but their profs that i only knew from this past semester, whereas he's known me for years.

right now i'm thinking i won't bother him with it unless he brings it up himself and is willing to write me a rec despite my recent shortcomings. otherwise, his recent disappointment might color the recs too much. waddya think?

1) You better change your life. Second chances for that crap in med school come in the form of repeating a year and you better be grateful that they don't boot you.

2) Ask everyone wrinting you letters: Am I the type of person you think will make a good doctor? Can you in good conscience write me a strongly positive letter?

3) If you get a yes and yes, then take the letter. If you get a no, then thank them for their honesty. But, ask for specifics... why? how could I change in your eyes?

4) If you can't ask these little questions, how are you going to ask 14 year olds and 60 year olds about their sexual activity? How are you going to tell, to convince the very person you ask for a letter that they really do need to cut back on the smoking or drinking when you're an MD.

 

[scrubsRcomfy]

1) You better change your life.

thanks for the no BS response. will keep your suggestions in mind!

 

[tacrum43]

i've been working for a doctor for 3 years now. he said that he would write me a recommendation when i applied for grad schools, which was the main reason for working for him (that and the fact that his research is pretty darn cool and he's been pretty flexible when it came to my hours).

i screwed up big time: i've been having personal issues lately and he's been patient with my absences/tardiness for over a month now, but today he gave me a warning b/c i've been so irresponsible.

i feel really bad about everything, and i know that i lost a lot of credibility with him. i've not only let down my employer, but i considered him a very good friend and mentor. All of that is stuff i will deal with on my own, but i i need some advice from sdn'rs on what do i do about the logistics of getting a rec from him. i need to get everything in pretty soon since a lot of the deadlines are march 1. should i even bother to ask him? i have 3 other people who would write me recs, but their profs that i only knew from this past semester, whereas he's known me for years.

right now i'm thinking i won't bother him with it unless he brings it up himself and is willing to write me a rec despite my recent shortcomings. otherwise, his recent disappointment might color the recs too much. waddya think?

You know, I think as long as you respond well to his criticisms, you should be fine.

I was in a somewhat similar situation at the job I had for 4 summers, my boss told me (during my 4th summer) that I needed to take more initiative. So I did that, and she was very pleased with my work afterwards, and was happy to write me a strong letter of rec. It was really just one fairly minor thing after a good relationship for 3 years, and so once it was fixed, it was no problem.

 

[Sundarban1]

Explain to him what is going on in your life so you don't look like a lazy ba$****.