I have a wife who I feel really got me into shape for the real world, so I can definitely understand. But something important to recognize about yourself... and it took me a while to see this.. Is that while yes, you grew and changed a lot in the past couple of years while in the relationship, recognize that you may or may not have grown just as much even without the relationship. There is no way to really tell how things would be different had you never met that person... As in, while your GF was there and was an integral part of your life; who is to say that she simply was not just the spark that inspired you to grow, not the continuous agent for growth and that resulted in where you are today. Who is to say that you would not have grown the same amount in that time because of some other life circumstance, or relationship? The fact that you grew and changed means that the potential was always there and that you were the one that ultimately made the choice to shape up your life. There are plenty of people in relationships who end up on either side of the coin, so you could have just as easily ended up way worse from the experience. Some people enter into a relationship and then become lazy or stagnant and end up lower than they were when they started. While others are compelled to make their life more meaningful and grow or whatever you want to call it. The difference isnt in who you are with, but in who you are. Sometimes it just takes someone else to be the agent of change that gets you started in the right direction and helps keep you moving when the trials come. Personally, my wife inspires me to be a better person and has been a major aspect of my path towards medicine, as well as just driving me to be a good man and better human being to others. I could argue that I would not be where I am without her (something similar to what you are saying). But does that mean then that I would not have had the growth that I have had over the past 6 years, if I had never met her? Had I never met her would I still be stuck at 18, and never left that region in my life? Would I not essentially be where I am now if she was never a part of my life? Who am I to say? Maybe I would have gone through all of this growth simply because of natural changes with age? Or maybe I would have grown from some other life circumstances, had I not met her? We really have no way of knowing these things. Ultimately though, you were the one that walked this path. You are here because of your own choices, motivation, and work. Sometimes it just takes someone (a spouse, mentor, family member, whatever) to aid in your direction. But in the end, once the direction is set, its all on you.
Appreciate it for what it is... use the life lessons that you gained through the relationship (both the beginning, middle, and ending of the relationship), but otherwise stay the course with what your own internal drive has worked so hard to achieve. She was the thing that may have helped you turn the corner on some aspects of your life. But YOU are the one that has done the hard work to get where you are and YOU are the one who ultimately made the decision to continue every day down this path. I am a firm believer that somehow or another you would have reached this path regardless. Call it destiny or fate or whatever cheesy thing that you can. But I truly believe that people will end up where they need to be but that there are plenty of different paths that may get you there.
Just keep your heading, do your work, and stay the course. Give things time, you will be able to be more introspective of this once you get through the initial separation. Times are certainly tough in the beginning.
