Self Doubt/Fear

[Randypants1]

Hey all,

So I have been applying to both PhD and MA programs in counseling (and a couple of clinical).
I currently have an offer at a clinical and am on the wait list at a legit counseling program (and I have acceptances at MA programs as well). I tend to underestimate myself I think and I know that getting into these programs is an accomplishment in its own right but I have this sort of fear that once I get in I somehow won't be able to hack it. On paper I am obviously a strong candidate, I got several interviews, etc....
Is this normal? Do other people experience these worries? The program excepts mostly people with MA's as well and though I am a bit older I worry about coming straight from a BA and having taken a year off academic work....

I just wanted some feedback/venting....Thanks!!

(hope I am not coming off as too crazy/unstable...)

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[G Costanza]

Yep it's pretty normal. Many have the thought, "If this program really knew who I was, they never would have accepted me."
Here's the truth - people don't get accepted into PhD programs by accident. You'll have an amazing next couple years that most people never even get an opportunity to attempt. Give yourself some credit for getting here.

 

[Rivi]

Yes, it is so common that it has a name (imposter syndrome).

 

[calimich]

Very normal thoughts and feelings. I was also older than most of my colleagues, without an MA, and began a PhD after several years removed from academia. I was the only one in my cohort without an MA and I was a bit in awe of my younger peers, most of whom had stellar undergrad credentials, some clinical experience, and had been "doing" academia for several years. On the other hand, as the years went by I learned that some of them were just as awestruck by my life experiences and meandering path to the PhD. Over time it's all worked out wonderfully and we've learned and grown with each other.

Like George said, pursuing a doctorate is a great privilege. Soak it up, enjoy it, practice gratitude. You're there for a reason. Believe in yourself as others already do. Best wishes and congratulations!!

 

[Randypants1]

Wow. Thanks so much for the replies.

 

[researchgirl]

Agreed with everything said above. Even 5 years in, shortly after matching to a well-respected internship, the imposter syndrome still gets ahold of me sometimes. Totally normal.

 

[thewesternsky]

Agreed with everything said above. Even 5 years in, shortly after matching to a well-respected internship, the imposter syndrome still gets ahold of me sometimes. Totally normal.

This. Actually, I think the internship I'll be starting is *too* well-respected and I probably matched there because of some kind of APPIC error. I haven't heard of anyone from my program ever failing internship for lack of competence.... But maybe I'll be the first! :/

 

[wwwyzzerdd]

You'll have an amazing next couple years that most people never even get an opportunity to attempt.

Because I love my job so incredibly much, I do feel very lucky to have gotten to this point (getting ready to leave for internship at a BOP I am in love with), but I wish I could agree with you on the "amazing next couple of years." I was warned in undergrad by one of my professors that it would be a great learning experience but some of the worst years of my life. That did not even begin to prepare me. I am just SO thankful it's almost over.

And to the OP, I totally understand your feeling. And it's not going anywhere, it will come and go throughout grad school. Sometimes you feel Leo style, king of the world. Others, like you are the dumbest human on the planet. Oh grad school.