Seriously considering dropping out

[undecided23]

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Hello all. So i'm really going through a rough time here and would appreciate your opinions. I'm an MS1 and have just gotten a taste of this whole medical school experience. Here's what's happened thus far: I failed my first unit by 1 point (thus I am looking at a summer remedial course), passed the second one (almost honored it) and now i'm taking anatomy (structure and function) and have not been able to successfully pass a single exam this unit. What's frustrating is that i have changed up my methods and study habits and while i feel like i learn a lot and am able to explain things to my study group, i have failed the exams by 1 - 5 points EVERY time. I still have 3 exams left and still have a shot at passing the unit but i feel like this is only YEAR ONE and i'm already having doubts. Don't get me wrong, I love medicine and have worked hard to get here (as you all have, I know). I am grateful for having this opportunity and I know that if i were doing well (i.e. PASSING) I wouldn't even consider giving this up. However, being in this situation, I can't help but wonder if it is worth all this sacrifice. Not to mention it wouldn't look too hot if i failed two units my first year. On the positive side, i love my school - the students are awesome and we are all (well the majority) supportive of one another. I genuinely like these people and have enjoyed the experience outside of my academic performance. That said, I know I have to do well if i want to make it as a successful physician. Hell, I want to at least have the opportunity to think about competitive specialties. At this point, I do not belong anywhere near them. I can recognize that.

Also, reading some old posts about whether current M.D.s regret their decision to practice medicine, I find that many feel it is not worth giving up so much (especially in the prime of your life)... i want to eventually have kids and as a woman, it's much more complicated knowing the kind of debt you'll be in and when will you actually have time to raise this child? Not to mention, I don't want to start a family too late in life.

RIGHT NOW, I'm just not sure if this is the right thing for me. I don't know that i have what it takes to get through this (and like i said it's only my first year). I work hard and come up short. I can't seem to find a way to excel. I know life is difficult and sometimes you just gotta suck it up but I don't want to regret getting into further debt, spending the next 7-10 years in school/residency, hating it and regret my decision in the end. Medicine is a changing field and I have not even tasted the reality of residency and life after med school. I want to be realistic about it but at the same time it's tremendously difficult to just say "I quit." It's giving up a dream. I just don't know where to go from here. I'm torn. Plus i'm already about 40G in debt. (i know that's not a lot in the grand scheme of things but still - plus what would i do if not this? I never even really seriously considered anything but medicine)...

Thanks for reading. i look forward to your thoughts.

 

[skypilot]

Don't give up until you have given it your best shot. Plenty of students have to remediate or even repeat a year and they go on to become great docs.

Deciding you don't even want to be a doctor is a separate decision from deciding to drop out because you are struggling like many first year students do.

Good luck. I feel your pain. I struggled during the first year too. 🙂

 

[pico61]

Hello all. So i'm really going through a rough time here and would appreciate your opinions. I'm an MS1 and have just gotten a taste of this whole medical school experience. Here's what's happened thus far: I failed my first unit by 1 point (thus I am looking at a summer remedial course), passed the second one (almost honored it) and now i'm taking anatomy (structure and function) and have not been able to successfully pass a single exam this unit. What's frustrating is that i have changed up my methods and study habits and while i feel like i learn a lot and am able to explain things to my study group, i have failed the exams by 1 - 5 points EVERY time. I still have 3 exams left and still have a shot at passing the unit but i feel like this is only YEAR ONE and i'm already having doubts. Don't get me wrong, I love medicine and have worked hard to get here (as you all have, I know). I am grateful for having this opportunity and I know that if i were doing well (i.e. PASSING) I wouldn't even consider giving this up. However, being in this situation, I can't help but wonder if it is worth all this sacrifice. Not to mention it wouldn't look too hot if i failed two units my first year. On the positive side, i love my school - the students are awesome and we are all (well the majority) supportive of one another. I genuinely like these people and have enjoyed the experience outside of my academic performance. That said, I know I have to do well if i want to make it as a successful physician. Hell, I want to at least have the opportunity to think about competitive specialties. At this point, I do not belong anywhere near them. I can recognize that.

Also, reading some old posts about whether current M.D.s regret their decision to practice medicine, I find that many feel it is not worth giving up so much (especially in the prime of your life)... i want to eventually have kids and as a woman, it's much more complicated knowing the kind of debt you'll be in and when will you actually have time to raise this child? Not to mention, I don't want to start a family too late in life.

RIGHT NOW, I'm just not sure if this is the right thing for me. I don't know that i have what it takes to get through this (and like i said it's only my first year). I work hard and come up short. I can't seem to find a way to excel. I know life is difficult and sometimes you just gotta suck it up but I don't want to regret getting into further debt, spending the next 7-10 years in school/residency, hating it and regret my decision in the end. Medicine is a changing field and I have not even tasted the reality of residency and life after med school. I want to be realistic about it but at the same time it's tremendously difficult to just say "I quit." It's giving up a dream. I just don't know where to go from here. I'm torn. Plus i'm already about 40G in debt. (i know that's not a lot in the grand scheme of things but still - plus what would i do if not this? I never even really seriously considered anything but medicine)...

Thanks for reading. i look forward to your thoughts.

What school is this if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Taus]

Think long and hard about the reasons why you went into medicine and how hard you worked to get into med school in the first place. One year of bad grades, that can be remediated, shouldn't be enough to end your dream, if medicine is what you truly want to do. I could go on about this, but I think you know the answer to your question here and shouldn't let a decision as big as this be swayed by anonymous people on a message board. Talk with your family/close friends.

About the just barely passing tests part: I HIGHLY suggest that you don't just study the material, but actually do questions from several sources, namely back(previous years) tests and review book questions. With a lot of my friends i have seen first hand that they seem to know their stuff when we talk over the information, but when it comes down to delineating between fine points to get a question right or wrong, they seem to have problems. Putting the time in to really work through old exams/question sources and learning from the answers that you get right and wrong seems to be the difference between knowing your info enough to pass and knowing how to take a test to get a good grade.

Just a suggestion....I'm sure others on here can offer other tips for studying....so you may want to post about how you usually study so we can further help you.

 

[nightowl]

I think that you should be wary of your comments about being a woman and wanting to have a family early. Whether you realize it or not, it might be one of the reasons you're finding it hard to pass your exams. I am saying this as a woman who had a rough time with pre-med because those questions held me back and made me feel ambivalent about my chosen path in life. Here's the thing: you are in medical school and that is the reality; not when or whether you are going to have children. For now, I believe it would be in your best interest to stop worrying about the family/doctor dilemma because it is just added unnecessary stress and could eventually be the crutch/excuse that you use to walk away from this career. I always found that it was easier to worry about the f/d dilemma then to confront my real anxiety- which was based on my fear of inadequacy. Seriously. Get where you need to be and the family will fall into place in time. Good luck.

 

[jennyboo]

Totally know how you feel. Some people seem to grab honors and high passes just like that. Me, I felt like I sucked all the time. I could work my butt off and still barely pass (or, a few times, not pass). M1 was particularly difficult in that respect, and knocked a lot of confidence out of me. I did discover a couple of things that really helped me a lot:

1) Repeat, repeat, repeat! I started reading my lecture notes the morning before the lecture (#1), going to lecture and reading them during the lecture (#2), reading them at home after the lecture (#3), and reading them again on the weekend (#4). Thus, when exam crunch time came around, I was reading the lecture notes for the #5th time. I won't lie and say I started acing my exams, because I didn't, but I started doing a lot better on them.

2) Get a tutor. My school pays students from previous years to tutor subjects. Ask them how they studied for it. And "shop" around until you get a good tutor. Don't commit to a tutor who's so-so.

Fast forward a couple of years, and I had no problems getting interviews for residency in my field of choice. (Ha-- will let you know how it goes after the match next month.)

People fail all the time. Some try over and over again. It's humbling not to "excel," and to have to struggle just to not fail. But three years from now, looking back, you might find that you succeeded more than you thought you did.

I don't feel that strongly about medicine. It was never my "dream" and I think I could be happy doing a lot of other things. Not all of medicine is awesome, in fact most of it is not what you thought it was when you applied. But now that I've found a specialty of medicine that I actually 😍 love 😍 I am super-excited about starting residency, and I have no regrets about doing it. Does everyone have that experience? I'm not sure. It's all dependent upon finding a job that you like, and I personally think that my job of choice rocks. But there are a lot of MD jobs that suck. They're not all good jobs. So you have to be choosy about what you want to and are willing to do.

Planning to have a family is a reality. But you can't really plan for it. It's not reasonable to say, "I am concerned about my work and the ability to start a family" if you have no means to do that right away. If you're a single woman with no immediate plans to marry, you can't wave your magic wand and somehow suddenly get a husband and children. I think it's not reasonable to drop out of med school because of a partner and family that you don't have. If they are there and the real decision is before you, that's another story. But you can't prepare for a family you don't have right now, so what can you do? Go on with what's immediately in front of you.

Should you choose to quit med school, do that and don't look back. If you choose to continue, start doing some major window shopping to separate the good jobs (the ones you might want) from the crappy ones (the ones you don't want), and start getting excited about doing something you'll actually like.

 

[Brainsucker]

I feel like it's worth finishing up med school unless you're absolutely certain you want to do something else. The main reason is that you gotta wait until third year to really do much of anything in the wards. At that point, might as well finish fourth year. After that, you should know to pick a specialty that'll let you be flexible or to do something entirely different depending on your family plans. An MD can repay itself in consulting work should you decide you're not interested in being a clinician. If you're just under passing, another push and you should be fine.

 

[Ypo.]

OP-if you are only missing passing by five points, thats not too far off the mark. Get a tutor now, or else do small directed study groups with other students where there is someone knowledgeable there to answer all the questions.

Sometimes it just takes one or two tweaks to figure out how to approach each class. The key is to get help as soon as you need it and not wait until before the test. If I were you I would get a tutor in each subject and try to meet with them each once or twice a week. That ought to make up that five point difference and more.

Good luck-

 

[Shangal]

Most of the people I know well in my class, including me, hate studying, so you are not alone in hating school and wanting to quit. Especially if you are not into the library scene, man it's depressing. Seeing the same people day after day and having the same pointless chats like, hey so what about them pistons, yeah we are pretty awsome, ........, you know the usual bull@#$% that we have to go though to seem like people who can talk about stuff other then medical school. You know, the cool people
All I can say is what my mom always tell me after every single conversation I have with her, yeah I am one of those loners who are in med school for their parents, "you were in school for more then 16 years what is 3 more", see I am 2nd year so I guess its one less year for me. After that it will be much better, we only have to work 80 hours a week and after that we can do anything we want, except for the illegal stuff of course, which you still can get away with if you have guts or go to amsterdam.
So my advice is whine to as many people as you can, and if you can blame going to medical school on somebody you know, do it, it makes you feel a little better. We all need our scap goats. I tried my parents initially up to a point where my mom now my mom is sick of it so I am shifting toward society and expectations, dude I need something.
Lets see, how am I going to end this, yeah, school is going to get a lot better when you start those rectal exams so I guess you got that to motivate you to stay in medical school. In what other decent profession can you tell an old fat lady to bend over but naked!
Seriously though, good luck and hopefully school will start treating you better

 

[Gentle]

Most of the people I know well in my class, including me, hate studying, so you are not alone in hating school and wanting to quit. Especially if you are not into the library scene, man it's depressing. Seeing the same people day after day and having the same pointless chats like, hey so what about them pistons, yeah we are pretty awsome, ........, you know the usual bull@#$% that we have to go though to seem like people who can talk about stuff other then medical school. You know, the cool people
All I can say is what my mom always tell me after every single conversation I have with her, yeah I am one of those loners who are in med school for their parents, "you were in school for more then 16 years what is 3 more", see I am 2nd year so I guess its one less year for me. After that it will be much better, we only have to work 80 hours a week and after that we can do anything we want, except for the illegal stuff of course, which you still can get away with if you have guts or go to amsterdam.
So my advice is whine to as many people as you can, and if you can blame going to medical school on somebody you know, do it, it makes you feel a little better. We all need our scap goats. I tried my parents initially up to a point where my mom now my mom is sick of it so I am shifting toward society and expectations, dude I need something.
Lets see, how am I going to end this, yeah, school is going to get a lot better when you start those rectal exams so I guess you got that to motivate you to stay in medical school. In what other decent profession can you tell an old fat lady to bend over but naked!
Seriously though, good luck and hopefully school will start treating you better

I hope some of the comments on your post are jokes. It'll be pitiful if you actually take pride of these things as a medstudent/ future physician.

 

[undecided23]

WOW you guys are awesome! Thank you so much for your replies. Today, I think I reached the point of saturation where all I could do was think about walking away. This led me to posting on an online forum and I am so glad I did. The thing is, you’ve all made really good points. I realize I can’t quit cause I’m frustrated and right now that is EXACTLY what I am. It’s caused me to lose perspective of the big picture – of why I wanted to pursue medicine in the first place. It’s a fear of inadequacy no matter how hard I try. BUT I know I’m really close and I think that’s what will keep me in this thing. I think I’d regret not knowing if I could’ve made it more so than any regrets of actually having done it – and I’d be a regretful doctor rather than a regretful college grad. which is obviously better.

TAUS – I will definitely take your advice on doing old exams and questions. I find I don’t have a lot of time left over ( I try to get through all the material (ppts/syllabi/ handouts) first but I find that doing questions may be just what I need to do in order to become a better test-taker. As for my study habits, I have been going to class daily (for the past 6 months) and just recently (this week) I decided to stop going to a majority of them. I think it’s not productive FOR ME. I don’t retain any of it and I find I understand more and actually LEARN when I go over the lectures on my own (with audio/notes (we have notetaker service at my school). Plus I sit in lecture roughly 6 hours per day and that’s time I could’ve been doing the material on my own and actually retaining it or at least understanding the concept of it all. I used to come home and start doing that day’s lectures (or catch up with the previous day) and by the time I hit the sack (usually around 2AM) I only get about 4 hours of sleep before i gotta go to class again. I’ve found that I can maximize my time this way and I’m not falling asleep in class (which totally defeats the purpose of going). I guess we’ll see if it works. At this point, I want to try everything !! any other tips are greatly appreciated.

JENNYBOO – I am so glad you know how I feel. I mean there are people that are totally honoring and it’s great for them (not hating at all) but I feel like I just totally suck sometimes cause I can’t even get over to the passing side. I appreciate your advice and I will PM you if you don’t mind…

Ok so to the rest of you – THANK YOU. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in feeling this way and sometimes the advice of perfect strangers makes a difference in one’s own outlook – especially when it's people who truly know what this whole medical school experience is like.

For now, I can only say I feel better. I feel better after thinking about all you’ve said and coming to the conclusion that I’m not prepared to give up just yet. It’s taken a lot to get here and I just want to make it SOMEHOW, even if takes a little more sweat, blood and tears. Thanks for letting me vent and I hope i have better news for you all soon...

 

[Shangal]

I hope so too Gentle, I hope so too

 

[IneedHelp]

You're in a better situation than me. At least you weren't kicked out of med school BEFORE your semester ended even after you aced your exams.

 

[tupac_don]

WOW you guys are awesome! Thank you so much for your replies. Today, I think I reached the point of saturation where all I could do was think about walking away. This led me to posting on an online forum and I am so glad I did. The thing is, you’ve all made really good points. I realize I can’t quit cause I’m frustrated and right now that is EXACTLY what I am. It’s caused me to lose perspective of the big picture – of why I wanted to pursue medicine in the first place. It’s a fear of inadequacy no matter how hard I try. BUT I know I’m really close and I think that’s what will keep me in this thing. I think I’d regret not knowing if I could’ve made it more so than any regrets of actually having done it – and I’d be a regretful doctor rather than a regretful college grad. which is obviously better.

TAUS – I will definitely take your advice on doing old exams and questions. I find I don’t have a lot of time left over ( I try to get through all the material (ppts/syllabi/ handouts) first but I find that doing questions may be just what I need to do in order to become a better test-taker. As for my study habits, I have been going to class daily (for the past 6 months) and just recently (this week) I decided to stop going to a majority of them. I think it’s not productive FOR ME. I don’t retain any of it and I find I understand more and actually LEARN when I go over the lectures on my own (with audio/notes (we have notetaker service at my school). Plus I sit in lecture roughly 6 hours per day and that’s time I could’ve been doing the material on my own and actually retaining it or at least understanding the concept of it all. I used to come home and start doing that day’s lectures (or catch up with the previous day) and by the time I hit the sack (usually around 2AM) I only get about 4 hours of sleep before i gotta go to class again. I’ve found that I can maximize my time this way and I’m not falling asleep in class (which totally defeats the purpose of going). I guess we’ll see if it works. At this point, I want to try everything !! any other tips are greatly appreciated.

JENNYBOO – I am so glad you know how I feel. I mean there are people that are totally honoring and it’s great for them (not hating at all) but I feel like I just totally suck sometimes cause I can’t even get over to the passing side. I appreciate your advice and I will PM you if you don’t mind…

Ok so to the rest of you – THANK YOU. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in feeling this way and sometimes the advice of perfect strangers makes a difference in one’s own outlook – especially when it's people who truly know what this whole medical school experience is like.

For now, I can only say I feel better. I feel better after thinking about all you’ve said and coming to the conclusion that I’m not prepared to give up just yet. It’s taken a lot to get here and I just want to make it SOMEHOW, even if takes a little more sweat, blood and tears. Thanks for letting me vent and I hope i have better news for you all soon...

One thing you should know that for the most part people who are honoring are not necessarily super smart, the difference is they know how to study the right stuff and what to focus on. I can almost say with certainty that if you hung out with some kid who honored and followed exact same schedule you would do just as well. The main thing is what to focus on. If you try to be a hero and study everything you get overwhelmed, and you loose focus and you dilute your studying. That's why old exams are really good to focus your studying maybe on a way something is asked, or on specific matter that you might not have hit too hard initially. Hang in there, and try to improve your study method. Good luck.

 

[happydays]

Just think of it like a game: If a team loses one game, that team doesn't just quit and change careers. That team must work harder to win the next game, and look forward to all the games thereafter.

Ok, you've had a couple of tough breaks. But that's not the end of it. Adcoms wouldn't have admitted you if they didn't think you could handle the work, so obviously you've got it in you. Think about your initial failures as motivation to excel later.

 

[jennyboo]

I will PM you if you don’t mind…

Feel free!

 

[Ypo.]

You're in a better situation than me. At least you weren't kicked out of med school BEFORE your semester ended even after you aced your exams.

I thought you said you hadn't seen your exam results yet? 😕

 

[skypilot]

I agree with not trying to study everything. It is much better to know one set of material very well than to try to know all the material at a shallow level.

Therefore consider dropping your review of the powerpoint slides. Instead go through the class notes a few more times and try to really summarize and understand what the important questions will be. Then take the old exams and try to pull the answers out of the class notes or syllabus. Any areas which aren't completely clear, review several more times. Do all the practice exams a couple of times.

Your scores will improve a little and you will pass. And that is all you need is a couple more points! 🙂

 

[IneedHelp]

I thought you said you hadn't seen your exam results yet? 😕

I haven't. I'm just assuming I'm gonna get thrown out for good.

So what do you guys think I should do. Keep fighting the dean for one more chance? All I have is 1 class in the spring.

 

[gary5]

I'm a second year med student and had exams that I needed to retake last year. I found this to be discouraging and frustrating, but I passed the retakes and did really well on one. And so, this year I have the same frustrations and challenges. Frankly, other people in my class are better at memorizing large amounts of information. Anyway, I have no intention of quitting, despite the frustration. So my advice is to stick with it. Try to appreciate that your school selected the very best students they could get and this includes you, even though you may not feel this way now. And so, as long as they are willing to work with you to get you through it, then stick with it. I have already accepted the possibility that I may need to repeat classes next year. The most difficult part is that I won't know until the end and so the it's like a cloud of stress that never goes away. However, I am putting forth my best effort and am still determined to finish. Best wishes to you. Follow your dream and keep your eyes focused on the finish line!