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- Aug 1, 2020
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Hi all!
I am a Asian female premed applying this cycle. I recently shadowed a white ~60 y.o. nocturnist at an ER. My husband’s friend (female) who worked with him several years ago introduced me to the doctor.
This happened at my very first day at the hospital, and he appeared to be very quirky and clumsy. I can easily assume that he is autistic. He moved extra fast unexpectedly, made extra big movements with no boundaries, spilled my coffee, kept being in the way not allowing personal space, was very judgmental and sarcastic to patients, making unnecessary comments all the time, and almost seemed narcissistic. He talked about his asian female nurses negatively, sounded like racism to me, and wanted to talk about asian cultures such as classism, hierarchy, and submissiveness.
All of these happened within my first two hours there. I definitely didn’t like his attitude and personality, but he tried to teach me well while charting and rounding, show me around the hospital, and introduced me to other nurses.
After 10 pm, he and I were in the charting room, and nobody else was there. We were having conversations about life, my application, and about my husband and his wife, but he kept his eye on my breast half of the time talking. I felt very unpleasant.
At some point, he wanted to teach me suturing. I was so excited, but he unexpectedly reached my badge lanyard and grabbed it from my chest area, slightly touched my breast, to tie the suture thread on it. It was unpleasant, but I tried to understand that given his (medical) condition that I assumed. After doing the practice until the end of the thread, he suddenly grabbed my fitted button-down shirt (he wanted me to dress “business casual”) from my chest area again, right below my bra line, and then pierced the suture needle into the fabric. I was shocked and scared, but continued to suturing. When I was struggling making a knot, he grabbed and maneuvered my hands. As soon as I felt one of back of his hands touch my nipple, I moved my upper body to avoid the contact. However, he kept pulling my hands towards him while doing suture on my shirt. The back of his hand started touching my nipple again, so I placed one of my hand between the back of his hand and my breast, and grabbed my breast. He didn’t stop suturing and almost grinding his hand onto my hand that was grabbing my breast for good seconds.
I knew there was no evidence, cctv footage, or witnesses, so I just tried to remain calm and went home a few hours later.
The thing is, I submitted my primary app with “anticipated” activities of shadowing him for 40 hours in July with his contact info. He is my only shadowing opportunity. I did only a day, and he expected me to come back for another 2 weeks sometime this month.
And he sent me an email last night around midnight saying that “let me know if you need a letter from me.” I didn’t even requested it. I haven’t replied.
I was so desperate for this opportunity and his potential letter of rec for my app, and am still desperate. What do you guys think I should do at this moment? If I give up this opportunity, what should I tell him to quit? I’m also worried about med school admissions reaching out to him to confirm the completion of my anticipated activities with him.
Thank you very much for your opinions in advance! And good luck with your cycle to all of you.
I am a Asian female premed applying this cycle. I recently shadowed a white ~60 y.o. nocturnist at an ER. My husband’s friend (female) who worked with him several years ago introduced me to the doctor.
This happened at my very first day at the hospital, and he appeared to be very quirky and clumsy. I can easily assume that he is autistic. He moved extra fast unexpectedly, made extra big movements with no boundaries, spilled my coffee, kept being in the way not allowing personal space, was very judgmental and sarcastic to patients, making unnecessary comments all the time, and almost seemed narcissistic. He talked about his asian female nurses negatively, sounded like racism to me, and wanted to talk about asian cultures such as classism, hierarchy, and submissiveness.
All of these happened within my first two hours there. I definitely didn’t like his attitude and personality, but he tried to teach me well while charting and rounding, show me around the hospital, and introduced me to other nurses.
After 10 pm, he and I were in the charting room, and nobody else was there. We were having conversations about life, my application, and about my husband and his wife, but he kept his eye on my breast half of the time talking. I felt very unpleasant.
At some point, he wanted to teach me suturing. I was so excited, but he unexpectedly reached my badge lanyard and grabbed it from my chest area, slightly touched my breast, to tie the suture thread on it. It was unpleasant, but I tried to understand that given his (medical) condition that I assumed. After doing the practice until the end of the thread, he suddenly grabbed my fitted button-down shirt (he wanted me to dress “business casual”) from my chest area again, right below my bra line, and then pierced the suture needle into the fabric. I was shocked and scared, but continued to suturing. When I was struggling making a knot, he grabbed and maneuvered my hands. As soon as I felt one of back of his hands touch my nipple, I moved my upper body to avoid the contact. However, he kept pulling my hands towards him while doing suture on my shirt. The back of his hand started touching my nipple again, so I placed one of my hand between the back of his hand and my breast, and grabbed my breast. He didn’t stop suturing and almost grinding his hand onto my hand that was grabbing my breast for good seconds.
I knew there was no evidence, cctv footage, or witnesses, so I just tried to remain calm and went home a few hours later.
The thing is, I submitted my primary app with “anticipated” activities of shadowing him for 40 hours in July with his contact info. He is my only shadowing opportunity. I did only a day, and he expected me to come back for another 2 weeks sometime this month.
And he sent me an email last night around midnight saying that “let me know if you need a letter from me.” I didn’t even requested it. I haven’t replied.
I was so desperate for this opportunity and his potential letter of rec for my app, and am still desperate. What do you guys think I should do at this moment? If I give up this opportunity, what should I tell him to quit? I’m also worried about med school admissions reaching out to him to confirm the completion of my anticipated activities with him.
Thank you very much for your opinions in advance! And good luck with your cycle to all of you.