MA/MS Socializing & Making Friends?

[Spydra]

Does anyone else find that when out socializing/trying to make friends that they attract more people with mental health issues? In an effort to create more balance and make self care a priority I've been trying to attend more social events, meet new people, and hopefully make friends. I'm trying new things (meetup groups, local festivals, live music, anything that seems interesting) and not always sticking with the same venues or activities and I rarely talk about work. I just want to unwind, have a good time, and for the most part I do.

However it seems like many of the people I'm meeting on my ventures out have mental health issues (sometimes they're seeking treatment and other times not) and want to start in on their struggles. While I work in a social work capacity I don't do any kind of therapy and wasn't trained for that, but even if I were I don't want to sit around doing that in my social time anyway. Since no one has raised any suicide/self harm/harm to others red flags I've handled this by just suggesting they consider talking to a licensed professional and calling their insurance carrier or 211 if they need a referral, then ending the conversation. I get that being in a helping profession I may just give off a vibe that makes people feel comfortable talking to me, but are any of you having similar experiences? Sometimes I just want to have a drink and listen to some tunes, not be helpful you know? I'm starting to think I'm nuts for wanting friends I can just chill out with and not feel like I'm providing constant mental health support. It's starting to seem like that isn't even possible.

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[Goobernut]

I don't really have this problem. More often than not I run across people who bristle and wonder if I'm judging them. Or I tell them I'm going to be an integrated behavioral health specialist and they have nooooo clue what I'm talking about.

It will be possible, I think it's just hard to find "good quality" friends no matter the issue. Keep tryin though! It eventually pays off haha. I tend to 2 or so quality people rather than large circles anyway. I'm lucky, all my friends are pre-masters degree and we all knew well in advance who had what issue...

 

[Spydra]

Hmmm I haven't run into that challenge, but then I try not to talk about work when its social time. When you say all of your friends are pre-masters do you mean they're all in the same program as you? Or that the grad students at your school, regardless of program, tend to socialize together? Neither were my experience so I'm curious.

 

[Goobernut]

my close friends were my friends long before I got accepted to my grad program. Sorry for the confusion. They were people who encouraged me to go back. I'm a non-trad student so I have a big gap from high school till grad school.

I have made good professional connections in grad school, but not amazing social connections -- so I agree with you there.

 

[Spydra]

Oh I see. I was a non-trad grad student as well, but thankfully most of the students in my program were like that. That may have contributed to the lack of social connections though. I think its great you have friends from before all of that and they support your goals

 

[473912]

People have lots of issues. You can't avoid it. ...but I haven't run into that specific problem. My problem in when I talk about psychology or my research, I get mixed reactions because psychology isn't all happy, feel good, cotton candy approaches and outcomes. They just don't understand research methods and all so they think I'm being unreasonable while they're relying on a famous someone's opinion as fact. I've already lost a few friends because of this.

 

[Spydra]

Yeah that's why I save the psych talk for colleagues because they'll actually get it. When socializing I want to talk about anything but work