SOS need some advice

[chos2k]

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Hello all,

New to the forum and have yet to be involved in another type of forum besides cars :3. I am very excited to meet the types of people that reside in this site. First and foremost... I am in the "lost" stage as many others might come across. I am not a perfect student who we all seek to become. I am in my 3rd year closing up at UCSD as a pre-med student studying human biology. Egh,,,, as unrealistic as it may have become for me, I am struggling to see if medical school is what I want anymore and it would be very appreciate who can tell me otherwise. My reasons are as follows. My family does not live in the states, thus making me alone in this huge "island" with my one and only older brother and no cousins. I have interned in the medical field in hospitals before doing basic work and such, but it never struck me as hard as it did recently. I am just not fond of how the treatment is done by these doctors, rns, and cnas... It seems as though they are doing minimal work for the sake of the job (business aspect) and it pisses me off, when i go in to make every single patient i can smile and hopefully they had a newer experience. i thought being a doctor or in the healthcare business would be more appreciative of the precious life that withholds our only reason and existence to the world. just seeing that a bit tossed around (sorry for the lack of a better word) makes me a bit depressed to see who I will become after the difficult process I will soon face if I choose to go through all the MCATs and such. I am not too concerned about the letters of rec, gpa, testings... of course they have to meet a standard. Of course not all doctors are like that just like how there are those meticulous individuals in every field who make the world a better place. I hope to be like that but am wondering how difficult and numbing the whole process will be towards me. I cannot face my parents at their faces without the thought of noticing their flaws and their aging process. That sight and vision has been given to me by seeing all these people in beds and the "horrible" classes that taught me medicinal purposes and causes, preventions, and whatnot. I say "horrible," because it is my passion to study medicine and it's what intrigues me but it also seems to be causing harm to my soul. I rarely see my parents and I cannot face them without holding back my tears. If anybody has felt this way and can tell me what to do to be a bit happier. I have been given the advice that these ****s are not in my control regardless it is what it is and it's bound to happen. But what I am afraid of is, I wish to not have noticed those things. Why is it tougher to be knowledgable of the fact that my friends and family are growing and why does it hurt more to see those things. I may be sensitive in these aspects but it's the only thing thats dear to me.

so ultimately, i am wondering if it'll be a more psychologically damaging compared to the amazingly awarding experience in both achieving that crazy ass path goal, status and lastly the mula. i care less for the money. i'm only seeing what'll make me happier and if there's anything out there that others might have realized and could tell me. of course it'll be biased a bit since you guys are in that field. but be open to me as much as you guys can. anything will help since i am a bit premature to the premed field.

-kevin

 

[Darthberghen]

Hello all,

New to the forum and have yet to be involved in another type of forum besides cars :3. I am very excited to meet the types of people that reside in this site. First and foremost... I am in the "lost" stage as many others might come across. I am not a perfect student who we all seek to become. I am in my 3rd year closing up at UCSD as a pre-med student studying human biology. Egh,,,, as unrealistic as it may have become for me, I am struggling to see if medical school is what I want anymore and it would be very appreciate who can tell me otherwise. My reasons are as follows. My family does not live in the states, thus making me alone in this huge "island" with my one and only older brother and no cousins. I have interned in the medical field in hospitals before doing basic work and such, but it never struck me as hard as it did recently. I am just not fond of how the treatment is done by these doctors, rns, and cnas... It seems as though they are doing minimal work for the sake of the job (business aspect) and it pisses me off, when i go in to make every single patient i can smile and hopefully they had a newer experience. i thought being a doctor or in the healthcare business would be more appreciative of the precious life that withholds our only reason and existence to the world. just seeing that a bit tossed around (sorry for the lack of a better word) makes me a bit depressed to see who I will become after the difficult process I will soon face if I choose to go through all the MCATs and such. I am not too concerned about the letters of rec, gpa, testings... of course they have to meet a standard. Of course not all doctors are like that just like how there are those meticulous individuals in every field who make the world a better place. I hope to be like that but am wondering how difficult and numbing the whole process will be towards me. I cannot face my parents at their faces without the thought of noticing their flaws and their aging process. That sight and vision has been given to me by seeing all these people in beds and the "horrible" classes that taught me medicinal purposes and causes, preventions, and whatnot. I say "horrible," because it is my passion to study medicine and it's what intrigues me but it also seems to be causing harm to my soul. I rarely see my parents and I cannot face them without holding back my tears. If anybody has felt this way and can tell me what to do to be a bit happier. I have been given the advice that these ****s are not in my control regardless it is what it is and it's bound to happen. But what I am afraid of is, I wish to not have noticed those things. Why is it tougher to be knowledgable of the fact that my friends and family are growing and why does it hurt more to see those things. I may be sensitive in these aspects but it's the only thing thats dear to me.

so ultimately, i am wondering if it'll be a more psychologically damaging compared to the amazingly awarding experience in both achieving that crazy ass path goal, status and lastly the mula. i care less for the money. i'm only seeing what'll make me happier and if there's anything out there that others might have realized and could tell me. of course it'll be biased a bit since you guys are in that field. but be open to me as much as you guys can. anything will help since i am a bit premature to the premed field.

-kevin

Do you like nursing better?

 

[Drrrrrr. Celty]

Your perceptions are very idealized which is probably why you see the physicians and rns as being so very... non-ideal. Sorry, but medical professionals are people, they care in their own way both for themselves and for their patients. It seems like you need to consider whether this is the right thing for you and not just your patients.

It's hard to say, but no one can tell you what to do. You may be too emotional and idealistic and as such may make the wrong decisions for both you and your patients by caring too much as a doctor or you may be the perfect fit. Who knows.


Also people are humans. People have responsibilities both to themselves and people that are not their patients. Physicians can be overworked and after a while doing their job but realize they also need to care for their families. Likewise physicians after a while do become desensitized to people's problems and deaths.

 

[3bamboo]

It seems like first you need to do some inner reflection and perhaps meditation on the idea of death and aging. You seem to be filtering everything through a very negative lens and are missing many of the joys and beauties of growing old and of life in general.

 

[3bamboo]

Hello all,

I am just not fond of how the treatment is done by these doctors, rns, and cnas... It seems as though they are doing minimal work for the sake of the job (business aspect) and it pisses me off, when i go in to make every single patient i can smile and hopefully they had a newer experience. i thought being a doctor or in the healthcare business would be more appreciative of the precious life that withholds our only reason and existence to the world. just seeing that a bit tossed around (sorry for the lack of a better word) makes me a bit depressed to see who I will become after the difficult process I will soon face if I choose to go through all the MCATs and such.

-kevin

This is a pretty loaded statement. What other work do you expect them to be doing that they are not?

 

[Didierdrogba]

I think you just need some inspiration, stop shadowing at huge hospitals, instead get to know doctors who do rural stuff, or people who practice medicine for the love of it. Hospital people can be very non-ideal/ negative due to certain aspects, and I think this is pretty bad for you at this stage, since medical students should at least have a sense of idealism to start out with.

This said, you need to also control your emotions better, and not get attached to your patients too much. Afterall, medicine is a job, and you still have your own life to live.

 

[chos2k]

Do you like nursing better?

not at all :/ I know I can pursue more, and it wouldn't be a bad job of course. just something with more authority and variables in the job

Your perceptions are very idealized which is probably why you see the physicians and rns as being so very... non-ideal. Sorry, but medical professionals are people, they care in their own way both for themselves and for their patients. It seems like you need to consider whether this is the right thing for you and not just your patients.

It's hard to say, but no one can tell you what to do. You may be too emotional and idealistic and as such may make the wrong decisions for both you and your patients by caring too much as a doctor or you may be the perfect fit. Who knows.


Also people are humans. People have responsibilities both to themselves and people that are not their patients. Physicians can be overworked and after a while doing their job but realize they also need to care for their families. Likewise physicians after a while do become desensitized to people's problems and deaths.

of course... that family aspect is something i have yet to experience and the aspect of doing it for the sake of money isn't appealing period. i do love the aspect behind helping each and every single patient, but i want to emphasize with care. becoming desensitized, i wonder as to how much of a human you really do become. the family and everything that you do end up with, when you look back? what more is there left when you've become desensitized. won't you regret? i believe that's one precious thing to an individual human being.

It seems like first you need to do some inner reflection and perhaps meditation on the idea of death and aging. You seem to be filtering everything through a very negative lens and are missing many of the joys and beauties of growing old and of life in general.

yes. any recommendations? I live very routinely and educational based. it's very tough at times to really expose myself out of this routine. 5 classes, two interns, no more volunteer now, and cut down hours on work. i dont really have family here so i rarely go home. i have been slacking in exercising terms, but try very hard at times. i really need to realize certain aspects of life and it's very hard for me to realize on my own. anything i should reach out to? similar experiences and realizations that you personally might have gone through? thanks for the words of advice btw

This is a pretty loaded statement. What other work do you expect them to be doing that they are not?

what more is there to say, it is as it seems when there are employees that seem to be not so very enthusiastic of the work itself. more or so the none md/do's do work purely for the sake of an occupation. it's a shame to see that kind of work ethic and put emphasis on students and interns to be motivated to pursue these kinds of professions when we are raised and enveloped around the idea that a doctor profession isn't for the money but rather for the love of people and treating them.

I think you just need some inspiration, stop shadowing at huge hospitals, instead get to know doctors who do rural stuff, or people who practice medicine for the love of it. Hospital people can be very non-ideal/ negative due to certain aspects, and I think this is pretty bad for you at this stage, since medical students should at least have a sense of idealism to start out with.

This said, you need to also control your emotions better, and not get attached to your patients too much. Afterall, medicine is a job, and you still have your own life to live.

thank you, it seems as though i can't take into realization that it is a job especially with lives involved. i will try my best to find an individual who have that passion and ideal morals that maybe i can relate to. of course i'm very early to realize any of those with experiences, thus i will have to see where i can go.

i don't get too attached with patients, but it seems depress of me the desire of wanting to do more. of course because I am surrounded by "lazy" workers who just do the job itself, it makes me feel lazy and somewhat awkward to do more because I do not exactly know what the purpose of doing certain tasks are.

 

[Goro]

Sounds like you have some real soul searching to do. Medicine is a calling, like being a priest or a policeman.

If you're parents are overly keen on you being a doctor, then it's time to realize you're a big boy and you don't need to sacrifice your life and happiness to satisfy them.

If you're still having doubts after shadowing doctors and volunteering, then Medicine (note the capitol "M") is not for you.

Hello all,

New to the forum and have yet to be involved in another type of forum besides cars :3. I am very excited to meet the types of people that reside in this site. First and foremost... I am in the "lost" stage as many others might come across. I am not a perfect student who we all seek to become. I am in my 3rd year closing up at UCSD as a pre-med student studying human biology. Egh,,,, as unrealistic as it may have become for me, I am struggling to see if medical school is what I want anymore and it would be very appreciate who can tell me otherwise. My reasons are as follows. My family does not live in the states, thus making me alone in this huge "island" with my one and only older brother and no cousins. I have interned in the medical field in hospitals before doing basic work and such, but it never struck me as hard as it did recently. I am just not fond of how the treatment is done by these doctors, rns, and cnas... It seems as though they are doing minimal work for the sake of the job (business aspect) and it pisses me off, when i go in to make every single patient i can smile and hopefully they had a newer experience. i thought being a doctor or in the healthcare business would be more appreciative of the precious life that withholds our only reason and existence to the world. just seeing that a bit tossed around (sorry for the lack of a better word) makes me a bit depressed to see who I will become after the difficult process I will soon face if I choose to go through all the MCATs and such. I am not too concerned about the letters of rec, gpa, testings... of course they have to meet a standard. Of course not all doctors are like that just like how there are those meticulous individuals in every field who make the world a better place. I hope to be like that but am wondering how difficult and numbing the whole process will be towards me. I cannot face my parents at their faces without the thought of noticing their flaws and their aging process. That sight and vision has been given to me by seeing all these people in beds and the "horrible" classes that taught me medicinal purposes and causes, preventions, and whatnot. I say "horrible," because it is my passion to study medicine and it's what intrigues me but it also seems to be causing harm to my soul. I rarely see my parents and I cannot face them without holding back my tears. If anybody has felt this way and can tell me what to do to be a bit happier. I have been given the advice that these ****s are not in my control regardless it is what it is and it's bound to happen. But what I am afraid of is, I wish to not have noticed those things. Why is it tougher to be knowledgable of the fact that my friends and family are growing and why does it hurt more to see those things. I may be sensitive in these aspects but it's the only thing thats dear to me.

so ultimately, i am wondering if it'll be a more psychologically damaging compared to the amazingly awarding experience in both achieving that crazy ass path goal, status and lastly the mula. i care less for the money. i'm only seeing what'll make me happier and if there's anything out there that others might have realized and could tell me. of course it'll be biased a bit since you guys are in that field. but be open to me as much as you guys can. anything will help since i am a bit premature to the premed field.

-kevin

 

[chos2k]

Sounds like you have some real soul searching to do. Medicine is a calling, like being a priest or a policeman.

If you're parents are overly keen on you being a doctor, then it's time to realize you're a big boy and you don't need to sacrifice your life and happiness to satisfy them.

If you're still having doubts after shadowing doctors and volunteering, then Medicine (note the capitol "M") is not for you.

My parents are lenient on whatever i do, they could care less if i quit everything and went to korea to live with them being unemployed. I worked independently from 15 to collect money for college funds and daily costs ever since and supported myself throughout college and worked my ass off to make money for rent and everything else. I studied this not because of the pressure that was overly hauled by asian parents on my behind for me to pursue, but rather for the aspect of Medicine itself. I feel pressured rather that it seems unforgiving to leave this passion in the past to pursue something and to come back, if anything later. I do not wish to do that and I am wondering how i can really search my "soul." My doubts are rather not something that concerns with if I can handle the path towards the doctor profession. It is something to do with the psychological sacrifice and wondering if anyone has anythign that they can inform me. similarities in realizations and what harm it could've caused on a personal basis

 

[Drrrrrr. Celty]

We all care in our own ways. Sometimes caring the best for your patient isn't crying your eyes out or belittling them with your undying compassion.

 

[chos2k]

We all care in our own ways. Sometimes caring the best for your patient isn't crying your eyes out or belittling them with your undying compassion.

how do you feel about it?

btw i love your avatar 🙂 as a matter of fact, from that anime, the plot actually feels relative, because it seems we are seeking for an answer to fulfill our passion yet the answer/truth gives a harmful, yet informative finale

 

[Drrrrrr. Celty]

how do you feel about it?

btw i love your avatar 🙂 as a matter of fact, from that anime, the plot actually feels relative, because it seems we are seeking for an answer to fulfill our passion yet the answer/truth gives a harmful, yet informative finale

I don't really know, I imagine I will be caring and attentive and will always try to attempt to meet my patient's needs.

And lol yup, sometimes you gotta sacrifice a lot for whats worth it in the end.