Spouses Job

[studentp0x]

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Sex is absolutely a reason - but again, you can have amazing sex with someone who isn't a conventional 9/10.

Sexual fulfillment, emotional fulfillment, sure. Definitely reasons. My point is that simple looks/lust isn't the main impetus behind cheating. It helps, sure. But there has to be something fundamentally wrong with the relationship first (unless one person is just a jerk).

I think you sorta missed my point. I'm saying someone who has the money to bang 10/10s, is likely to do so.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Of course it has to do with many other things... you have to look at the types of cheating. If you do a one timer with an escort or someone else, it has to do more so with attractiveness and/or lust. An affair would be more likely to be for emotional reasons.

Everyone has attraction and even lust for other people outside of a relationship. It's normal and natural. But to ACT on that attraction and lust requires more factors, even if it's just a one-night stand.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

It certainly doesn't help if your wife gives up any intention on maintaining attractiveness and lets herself go.

Sure, but in those cases, it's often both people who let themselves go. Like, this is not polite to say, but I could imagine a lot of people in this country who aren't having sex in their marriage because they're both not attractive. But who knows? Maybe they're just fat and getting a lot of action. You never know.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

I think you sorta missed my point. I'm saying someone who has the money to bang 10/10s, is likely to do so.

And you don't think marriage has any impact on that at all?

That's a rather sad outlook on life you have.

 

[studentp0x]

Anyway, back to my point... I can't see why someone would want a 6/10 successful wife over a 9/10 blue collar worker wife (for example). Makes no sense. And if we're talking about public perception, the latter will win by a mile.

There's a two different guys who come into my gym with their gfs (easy 9/10s) and I can confirm several guys have casually asked the guys what they do for work and such... no one has even cared to ask what the gf does. All that happens is you get a bunch of guys staring at them whenever the get a chance.

It's foolish to think a 6 will beat a 9 in terms of public perception.

 

[studentp0x]

And you don't think marriage has any impact on that at all?

That's a rather sad outlook on life you have.

It should, but clearly evidence is showing that it doesn't have as big of an impact as it should.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

And you don't think marriage has any impact on that at all?

That's a rather sad outlook on life you have.

Well, I think he has a more jaded view of marriage than average, but on the other hand there's no denying that people are putting less and less weight on their marriage, if divorces and cheating in general is any indication. That's the problem with any discussion like this. Like, I probably wasn't very clear earlier, so let me try again. If you just look at the people around you, unless your parents are divorced or something, I bet that most people on SDN don't know a lot of divorced people. Probably because SDNers are younger and, if anything, they know people who are just getting married. So naturally our view of marriage is "beautiful! This will be for life!" because when your best friend gets married, you're not thinking "she's getting divorced." You know what I mean? So it skews our perception on who is cheating or who is getting divorced because you similarly probably don't look at your best friend and think "she's going to cheat" or "she's going to be cheated on."

 

[ruralsurg4now]

There's a two different guys who come into my gym with their gfs (easy 9/10s) and I can confirm several guys have casually asked the guys what they do for work and such... no one has even cared to ask what the gf does. All that happens is you get a bunch of guys staring at them whenever the get a chance.

Yeah, but, dude, that's the gym. Guys stare at the gym because the woman is half-naked and fit. What else are they going to do, start talking to her about quantum mechanics?

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Anyway, back to my point... I can't see why someone would want a 6/10 successful wife over a 9/10 blue collar worker wife (for example). Makes no sense. And if we're talking about public perception, the latter will win by a mile.

There's a two different guys who come into my gym with their gfs (easy 9/10s) and I can confirm several guys have casually asked the guys what they do for work and such... no one has even cared to ask what the gf does. All that happens is you get a bunch of guys staring at them whenever the get a chance.

It's foolish to think a 6 will beat a 9 in terms of public perception.

You're 20 and hanging out with other 20 year olds. You'll see as you get older. Looks are not everything when you are looking for a life partner. Intelligence, stability, ambition, etc. take much bigger roles than when they did when you were a college kid bangin' chicks (for men and women both).

 

[studentp0x]

Well, I think he has a more jaded view of marriage than average, but on the other hand there's no denying that people are putting less and less weight on their marriage, if divorces and cheating in general is any indication. That's the problem with any discussion like this. Like, I probably wasn't very clear earlier, so let me try again. If you just look at the people around you, unless your parents are divorced or something, I bet that most people on SDN don't know a lot of divorced people. Probably because SDNers are younger and, if anything, they know people who are just getting married. So naturally our view of marriage is "beautiful! This will be for life!" because when your best friend gets married, you're not thinking "she's getting divorced." You know what I mean? So it skews our perception on who is cheating or who is getting divorced because you similarly probably don't look at your best friend and think "she's going to cheat" or "she's going to be cheated on."

lol I read how 4 out of 5 relationships have had some form of cheating, from some source. Not sure how accurate that is statistically but it did include emotional cheating... So it can't be far off.
But nonetheless, even emotional cheating is a huge issue. What happens when you ask that flirty girl with a bf to hang out and drink? What happens next?

 

[ruralsurg4now]

when you were a college kid bangin' chicks (for men and women both).

Women were banging chicks? What college did you go to, Vassar?

 

[studentp0x]

You're 20 and hanging out with other 20 year olds. You'll see as you get older. Looks are not everything when you are looking for a life partner. Intelligence, stability, ambition, etc. take much bigger roles than when they did when you were a college kid bangin' chicks (for men and women both).

I'm in a long term relationship and I know about all that. Age isn't really a factor.. lol.. cmon. I'm sure those articles I showed you, those escorts weren't sleeping with young married rich men 😉 People in their 30s 40s 50s do all sorts of stupid **** like drink and drive etc.

 

[studentp0x]

Yeah, but, dude, that's the gym. Guys stare at the gym because the woman is half-naked and fit. What else are they going to do, start talking to her about quantum mechanics?

I'm not saying no one would care about what she does overall, but that the FIRST thing that comes to mind is her looks. It's always like that.

Example: mark zuckerberg

He's world famous, founder of facebook, etc. His wife is a 5/10 but she's a doctor from Harvard. The first thing anyone mentions about his wife is her looks... THEN they say "oh she's a doctor etc from harvard blah blah."

 

[ruralsurg4now]

He's world famous, founder of facebook, etc. His wife is a 5/10 but she's a doctor from Harvard. The first thing anyone mentions about his wife is her looks... THEN they say "oh she's a doctor etc from harvard blah blah."

I dunno. I mean, yeah, when I see, for example, an athlete, I'm vaguely interested in what their wife looks like (usually not, but sometimes there will be an article on "so and so's hot wife!!!" and I'll click on it). Partly because I figure she's going to be hot and partly because sometimes she not and you go "huh, what happened there?" So I get what you mean. But on the other hand, I don't just dwell on their looks. I pretty quickly (in a few seconds) wonder what they do or whatever or just close the webpage.

 

[touchpause13]

Student I think you are sexist towards men. You have such a low opinion of them. You act like all men care about are hawt chiks11! You really aren't giving them much credit. I think all human beings choose partners based on compatibility: intellectual, social, sexual, etc.

 

[touchpause13]

Women were banging chicks? What college did you go to, Vassar?

Do you have a problem surg?

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Student I think you are sexist towards men. You have such a low opinion of them. You act like all men care about are hawt chiks11! You really aren't giving them much credit. I think all human beings choose partners based on compatibility: intellectual, social, sexual, etc.

He's not far off, though, is he? Meaning, isn't that the view that many women take towards men? In this instance, he's putting down relationships in general, so I understand the need to defend the concept of a relationship. After all, if you say "yeah, basically most men don't care about relationships," then by default you're admitting that any guy in a relationship with you would feel the same way. But when we just talk about "men" and not "relationships/marriages," women are pretty savage towards men, saying they're all just pigs who think with their genitals and so on. It's not terribly different from what he's saying.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Do you have a problem surg?

😀

 

[studentp0x]

Student I think you are sexist towards men. You have such a low opinion of them. You act like all men care about are hawt chiks11! You really aren't giving them much credit. I think all human beings choose partners based on compatibility: intellectual, social, sexual, etc.

So what's up with our 50% first time divorce rate + a much higher divorce rate for 2nd and 3rd marriages then? Not to mention a good percentage of married people have major issues but don't divorce or seperate.

 

[touchpause13]

So what's up with our 50% first time divorce rate + a much higher divorce rate for 2nd and 3rd marriages then? Not to mention a good percentage of married people have major issues but don't divorce or seperate.

Wow that is not at all related to my post. Good job!

 

[touchpause13]

He's not far off, though, is he? Meaning, isn't that the view that many women take towards men? In this instance, he's putting down relationships in general, so I understand the need to defend the concept of a relationship. After all, if you say "yeah, basically most men don't care about relationships," then by default you're admitting that any guy in a relationship with you would feel the same way. But when we just talk about "men" and not "relationships/marriages," women are pretty savage towards men, saying they're all just pigs who think with their genitals and so on. It's not terribly different from what he's saying.

So you just hate people then lol. I don't think saying all men are pigs is okay regardless of who says it. It seems to me that you are just bringing in stereotypes that no one here fits into.

 

[studentp0x]

Wow that is not at all related to my post. Good job!

It is. You're saying people get into relationships for x and y reasons, and I said clearly it isn't working at all.

 

[touchpause13]

It is. You're saying people get into relationships for x and y reasons, and I said clearly it isn't working at all.

What does some relationships not working have to do with you acting like all guys are solely motivated by their dicks?

 

[Kitten Claws]

Well, my partner is a stay at home dad with only a high school diploma, and I'm a medical student, and I'm definitely not embarrassed when I introduce him to "high society" or whatever. If anything, I am proud to be with him and grateful to him for supporting me and our daughter while I'm pursuing my life goal. Maybe we will separate in 20 years, but right now, I really could care less what people think. Nor do I find him somehow boring or unintelligent because of his lack of education/different socioeconomic background.

 

[studentp0x]

One thing that's been ignored is that many people start dating when younger, at a age where no one's fully done anything. (I'm a pre-med, I have good stats and excellent ECs, a good prospect for eventually getting into med school, but have I actually finished it and finished residency yet and become an attending? No.)
A lot of us come from middle class backgrounds, where your parents made a decent income or a high income. You can't really distinguish people based on their backgrounds either.
So knowing this, a lot of people start dating someone who's accomplished as much as them (nothing) and later on... one ends up in x profession earning a high income while the other amounts to nothing basically and doesn't earn much or at all.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

So you just hate people then lol. I don't think saying all men are pigs is okay regardless of who says it. It seems to me that you are just bringing in stereotypes that no one here fits into.

I don't hate people, I'm just asking. I commonly run into women who think men are pigs who think with their genitals. Don't you? I mean, are we really going to sit around pretending there aren't a sizable number of women who think that? What does that accomplish? If women didn't say that, then it would be silly for me to just make it up.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Well, my partner is a stay at home dad with only a high school diploma, and I'm a medical student, and I'm definitely not embarrassed when I introduce him to "high society" or whatever. If anything, I am proud to be with him and grateful to him for supporting me and our daughter while I'm pursuing my life goal. Maybe we will separate in 20 years, but right now, I really could care less what people think. Nor do I find him somehow boring or unintelligent because of his lack of education/different socioeconomic background.

That's not exactly the same, though. I noted in my thread that the exception is when people meet in college or even high school. If you got married before medical school, then of course you're not going to be like "will he fit in when I'm a doctor??" You didn't even think of yourself as a doctor at that point. You just thought of yourself as a person in high school or college. But if you were single right now and never knew him, I'm betting you wouldn't be out looking for a guy with a high school diploma. That's all I ever said.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

I don't hate people, I'm just asking. I commonly run into women who think men are pigs who think with their genitals. Don't you? I mean, are we really going to sit around pretending there aren't a sizable number of women who think that? What does that accomplish? If women didn't say that, then it would be silly for me to just make it up.

I hear guys say this, but I honestly don't get it. I'm not arguing that you've had this experience - obviously you have - but I've known a lot of women in my time here on this earth and I can only think of a few who have that attitude.

The ones that do are very vocal about it and drown out the majority, I guess. Or maybe I just hang out with nicer people.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

So what's up with our 50% first time divorce rate + a much higher divorce rate for 2nd and 3rd marriages then? Not to mention a good percentage of married people have major issues but don't divorce or seperate.

50%?

Nope. Been disproven multiple times due to flawed statistics.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.html?_r=0

Of note: But for college graduates, the divorce rate in the first 10 years of marriage has plummeted to just over 16 percent of those married between 1990 and 1994, from 27 percent of those married between 1975 and 1979.

A large proportion of those people who divorce marry early (therefore major incompatibilities are more likely to rear their ugly heads later) and are relatively uneducated, and therefore likely in a lower socioeconomic status which also puts more pressure on relationships. It's much more complex that you are making it out to be.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

I hear guys say this, but I honestly don't get it. I'm not arguing that you've had this experience - obviously you have - but I've known a lot of women in my time here on this earth and I can only think of a few who have that attitude.

The ones that do are very vocal about it and drown out the majority, I guess. Or maybe I just hang out with nicer people.

Guys hear it all the time. From what I can tell, most women think men are controlled by "their little brain," as they like to put it. And I wouldn't dispute that, in many cases, lol.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

50%?

Nope. Been disproven multiple times due to flawed statistics.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.html?_r=0

Of note: But for college graduates, the divorce rate in the first 10 years of marriage has plummeted to just over 16 percent of those married between 1990 and 1994, from 27 percent of those married between 1975 and 1979.

I'll have to read that, but isn't that analysis also flawed, since people are most commonly just co-habituating? In other words, those that marry are self-selected to be people who want to stay together anyways. I seem to recall that the divorce rate hasn't dropped, either. I agree that it's nonsense to say "there's a 50% divorce rate" and act like that applies to all comers, however. I tend to think that it's people who are extremely poor or drunkards getting quickie marriages who account for the bulk, but to be honest I ran into so many nurses who were divorced at my last hospital that it was a little ridiculous. It seemed like 75% of them were divorced single moms.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Guys hear it all the time. From what I can tell, most women think men are controlled by "their little brain," as they like to put it. And I wouldn't dispute that, in many cases, lol.

That's really disappointing. Again, maybe I just have been lucky enough to usually interact with nicer people. I mean, we girls all moan and groan about guys sometimes, but I've only met a few people who were actual man-haters.

I suppose though, as a female equivalent, I have to deal with the assumption that because I'm an educated woman I must somehow be a bitch and all I care about is my career. It's really sad when I meet male colleagues and they tell me they are surprised with how friendly I am. I mean, really? It's just another stereotype, same as how men are all macho asswipes who think with their penis. Again, I feel like it's this vocal minority of self-serving man-haters (and woman-haters on the other end) that drown out everyone else.

I wish men and women could just settle down sometimes and talk to each other like normal human beings instead of keeping each other locked in these mental stereotype boxes. But we're human, probly won't happen 😉

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

I'll have to read that, but isn't that analysis also flawed, since people are most commonly just co-habituating? In other words, those that marry are self-selected to be people who want to stay together anyways. I seem to recall that the divorce rate hasn't dropped, either. I agree that it's nonsense to say "there's a 50% divorce rate" and act like that applies to all comers, however. I tend to think that it's people who are extremely poor or drunkards getting quickie marriages who account for the bulk, but to be honest I ran into so many nurses who were divorced at my last hospital that it was a little ridiculous. It seemed like 75% of them were divorced single moms.

Ah-hah, THAT'S why you heard so much man-hating! 😉

 

[ruralsurg4now]

That's really disappointing. Again, maybe I just have been lucky enough to usually interact with nicer people. I mean, we girls all moan and groan about guys sometimes, but I've only met a few people who were actual man-haters.

I suppose though, as a female equivalent, I have to deal with the assumption that because I'm an educated woman I must somehow be a bitch and all I care about is my career. It's really sad when I meet male colleagues and they tell me they are surprised with how friendly I am. I mean, really? It's just another stereotype, same as how men are all macho asswipes who think with their penis. Again, I feel like it's this vocal minority of self-serving man-haters (and woman-haters on the other end) that drown out everyone else.

I wish men and women could just settle down sometimes and talk to each other like normal human beings instead of keeping each other locked in these mental stereotype boxes. But we're human, probly won't happen 😉

Oddly, I've never met a guy who has ever said educated women are b*tches. 🙂

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Ah-hah, THAT'S why you heard so much man-hating! 😉

No, I heard it before then, too, lol. But, yeah, the closer a woman was to her divorce, the less inclined she was to like guys.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Oddly, I've never met a guy who has ever said educated women are b*tches. 🙂

Well that's good! I hope it's a stereotype that is fading. It frustrates me to no end when I hear pre-meds talking about how all the girls in their class are career-obsessed/ugly/mean/etc and how you should never date a female doctor, etc. I don't know if it's some sort of weird inferiority complex or what. Luckily it isn't nearly as bad in veterinary medicine, or at least general practice. The upper echelons of veterinary pathology, however, are still heavily male and I've definitely gotten some backlash/assumptions about me made here and there. Not nearly as much as, say, female surgeons have to deal with, but it's still there.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Well that's good! I hope it's a stereotype that is fading. It frustrates me to no end when I hear pre-meds talking about how all the girls in their class are career-obsessed/ugly/mean/etc and how you should never date a female doctor, etc. I don't know if it's some sort of weird inferiority complex or what. Luckily it isn't nearly as bad in veterinary medicine, or at least general practice. The upper echelons of veterinary pathology, however, are still heavily male and I've definitely gotten some backlash/assumptions about me made here and there. Not nearly as much as, say, female surgeons have to deal with, but it's still there.

Oh, well, that's a different matter. Guys DO say that girls in medical school are ugly, but that's because, in general, more educated women ARE less attractive than less educated women. But that's not calling them b*tches. I don't know about veterinary pathology, but female surgeons are said to be psychos, but that's not because they're educated. It's because they are psychos. 😀 To be fair, it's very difficult to be a female surgeon because I think they themselves have preconceptions about how men view them and they therefore act accordingly. So, a lot of times you get VERY aggressive women who try to "out-guy" the guys and it turns into a mess. Not to say that there aren't psycho guys, too, but I've known a fair number of laid-back male surgical residents. The women were all hyper-aggressive and, if they were your senior, would totally boss you around and act like some weird drill sergeant. The one girl I knew who wasn't like that was an emotional mess and semi-broke down in front of me once after she was dumped. I really did feel badly for her, because I know it's tough for anyone, let alone a woman, to find a date in residency and the pressure of the biological clock is also enormous for a woman in surgery. I just didn't know what to do, other than sort of go "there there ..." I haven't yet met a woman surgeon who is just like a woman that you could sit and talk to normally. I've met normal Internists and normal Pediatricians. (No normal Ob-Gyns, lol.) But that has nothing to do with their education level.

 

[studentp0x]

50%?

Nope. Been disproven multiple times due to flawed statistics.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.html?_r=0

Of note: But for college graduates, the divorce rate in the first 10 years of marriage has plummeted to just over 16 percent of those married between 1990 and 1994, from 27 percent of those married between 1975 and 1979.

A large proportion of those people who divorce marry early (therefore major incompatibilities are more likely to rear their ugly heads later) and are relatively uneducated, and therefore likely in a lower socioeconomic status which also puts more pressure on relationships. It's much more complex that you are making it out to be.

You're using stats from the 90s and earlier? :S

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/divorce-rates-drop-across-canada/article4096512/

It's more like 40%.... currently. Don't forget second marriages have a much higher divorce rate and third marriages even more. 🙂

 

[studentp0x]

Well that's good! I hope it's a stereotype that is fading. It frustrates me to no end when I hear pre-meds talking about how all the girls in their class are career-obsessed/ugly/mean/etc and how you should never date a female doctor, etc. I don't know if it's some sort of weird inferiority complex or what. Luckily it isn't nearly as bad in veterinary medicine, or at least general practice. The upper echelons of veterinary pathology, however, are still heavily male and I've definitely gotten some backlash/assumptions about me made here and there. Not nearly as much as, say, female surgeons have to deal with, but it's still there.

All the girls in my classes are ugly except for maybe a few who are okay-ish.

Go for a walk in the mall and compare the female workers to female doctors/lawyers...🙂

 

[ruralsurg4now]

It's more like 40%.... currently. Don't forget second marriages have a much higher divorce rate and third marriages even more. 🙂

But what is that 40%? It's not an even 40% distribution among everyone. I actually don't know what it is for doctors. Part of me thinks it's higher because you always hear that doctors get divorced. Part of me thinks it's lower because nobody I know is divorced.

 

[studentp0x]

But what is that 40%? It's not an even 40% distribution among everyone. I actually don't know what it is for doctors. Part of me thinks it's higher because you always hear that doctors get divorced. Part of me thinks it's lower because nobody I know is divorced.

First time marriage divorce rate.

Anyway, playing with these numbers is meaningless. The fact remains, the majority of serious relationships have bad outcomes in western society. Whether that's divorce, seperation (which isn't even included in these stats?) , cheating that is "forgiven" or cheating that isn't discovered.. etc.

I don't generally support arranged marriages, but the outcomes are tremendously better than this system of "love."

 

[punkedoutriffs]

First time marriage divorce rate.
I don't generally support arranged marriages, but the outcomes are tremendously better than this system of "love."

Not surprising, since arranged marriages usually happen in a context where more complex and integrated social ties attend the marriage (family ties, finances, community relations, etc.). These things are much more tangible and sustainable than the fickle emotion of love.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Not surprising, since arranged marriages usually happen in a context where more complex and integrated social ties attend the marriage (family ties, finances, community relations, etc.). These things are much more tangible and sustainable than the fickle emotion of love.

It's a little complicated because a lot of it also has to do with the way people mentally approach the concept of marriage. In my experience, people from places with arranged marriages view it as "well, whoever I'm with, I can grow to get along with them." I mean, this is going to sound harsh, but I know a bunch of male residents from countries such as those and their wives are all way hotter than they could ever normally get. Now, that's great from the men's standpoint, but the women are actively sacrificing something such as physical attraction for safety and status and stability. It's not to say that they don't develop feelings for one another, but I cannot believe that it is the same feeling as someone who genuinely loves the person they marry. It's more of like a mutual affection. (By the way, I know this sounds like I'm insulting billions of people, but I don't mean it as a put-down.) I do know what you mean about social ties -- often, in those instances, the marriage almost becomes an extension of the community -- but I also wouldn't characterize love as fickle. Probably what you mean is that lust is fickle, and unfortunately that's what marriages or relationships are largely based on in American or Western cultures in many instances.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

The fact remains, the majority of serious relationships have bad outcomes in western society.

See, I know you think that, but it doesn't make any practical sense. Let's say for simplicity's sake that the divorce rate is 50%. Then what does that mean? Because I don't know. In my community, I didn't see 50% of marriages ending in divorce. I'm just being honest. Is that the case where you live? Like, is every other marriage ending up in divorce? Probably not, right? So I don't know what that number even means.

 

[studentp0x]

It's a little complicated because a lot of it also has to do with the way people mentally approach the concept of marriage. In my experience, people from places with arranged marriages view it as "well, whoever I'm with, I can grow to get along with them." I mean, this is going to sound harsh, but I know a bunch of male residents from countries such as those and their wives are all way hotter than they could ever normally get. Now, that's great from the men's standpoint, but the women are actively sacrificing something such as physical attraction for safety and status and stability. It's not to say that they don't develop feelings for one another, but I cannot believe that it is the same feeling as someone who genuinely loves the person they marry. It's more of like a mutual affection. (By the way, I know this sounds like I'm insulting billions of people, but I don't mean it as a put-down.) I do know what you mean about social ties -- often, in those instances, the marriage almost becomes an extension of the community -- but I also wouldn't characterize love as fickle. Probably what you mean is that lust is fickle, and unfortunately that's what marriages or relationships are largely based on in American or Western cultures in many instances.

Marriages aren't based on lust here... lust wouldn't even last the big part of the dating phase let alone engagement/marriage.
It's wierd cause if you're looking at indians (tons of arranged marriages), I've often noticed the husband is slightly better than the wife, not other way around.

 

[studentp0x]

See, I know you think that, but it doesn't make any practical sense. Let's say for simplicity's sake that the divorce rate is 50%. Then what does that mean? Because I don't know. In my community, I didn't see 50% of marriages ending in divorce. I'm just being honest. Is that the case where you live? Like, is every other marriage ending up in divorce? Probably not, right? So I don't know what that number even means.

The majority of serious relationships fail (include common law as well). Your sample size is quite small.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

The majority of serious relationships fail (include common law as well). Your sample size is quite small.

That's true, but I'm guessing nobody here will say that 50% of everyone they know is divorced.

 

[studentp0x]

That's true, but I'm guessing nobody here will say that 50% of everyone they know is divorced.

Divorce is a long process. I myself know of 4 marriages where they seperated a few years ago and have yet to officially divorce (legally).
What happens when you include seperation, common law relationships, and relationships/marriages where someone gets away with cheating or they don't want to be together, etc etc and so on.

Seeing as how 3/4 of people say they'd have an affair if they wouldn't be caught, it's safe to assume the number of dysfunctional marriages/relationships is at least that high.

 

[punkedoutriffs]

Divorce is a long process. I myself know of 4 marriages where they seperated a few years ago and have yet to officially divorce (legally).
What happens when you include seperation, common law relationships, and relationships/marriages where someone gets away with cheating or they don't want to be together, etc etc and so on.

Seeing as how 3/4 of people say they'd have an affair if they wouldn't be caught, it's safe to assume the number of dysfunctional marriages/relationships is at least that high.

So then what do you do in light of this data? B/c as we all know and can attest, relationships are difficult (getting into one, keeping one, etc.). They take a ton of energy/work/effort/stress. If the data says that so many relationships fail, how should you as the individual act? Should you just renounce?

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Seeing as how 3/4 of people say they'd have an affair if they wouldn't be caught, it's safe to assume the number of dysfunctional marriages/relationships is at least that high.

Not really. I mean, lots of people would break the law, too, if they knew they wouldn't get caught. That's just human nature.